Missionary Renegade: "[MyCom] How to calm difficult people in small groups | Boost your blog's traffic" from Darby, from United Methodist Communications of Nashville, Tennessee, United States for Tuesday, January 12, 2016

"[MyCom] How to calm difficult people in small groups | Boost your blog's traffic" from Darby, from United Methodist Communications of Nashville, Tennessee, United States for Tuesday, January 12, 2016

Tips & tools for church leaders
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How to calm difficult people in small groups

What do you do when people disrupt the flow of your small group or meeting? Whether they're well intentioned or looking for an argument, learn how to calm the waters and keep focused.
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"How to calm difficult people in small groups" by Clay Morgan

We’ve talked about key steps to small-group facilitator success which discusses several ways to encourage participation, but what do you do when certain people are overly engaged or a bit too zealous?

It’s amazing how much a group dynamic can change, based on the domineering tendencies of just one or two people. Sometimes these people are well intentioned and merely inquisitive. Sometimes, a difficult person is on the lookout for chances to be argumentative. Either way, effective facilitators must keep the group focused and on schedule. At times, we may have to quiet or redirect individuals who are interupting the learning process.

What do you do when people distract your meeting? Keep your group focused with these tips. TWEET THIS TWEET THIS

Some people have catchy titles for the various types of disruptive participants you might encounter, but Jason Teteak’s are good. Teteak has coached thousands of professional trainers and even given a slick TED Talk on how to spread ideas in your everyday life. You’ve likely encountered these challenging participants:

Talk hogs dominate the discussion. Their eagerness might come from positive excitement or from negative selfishness.
Know-it-alls have opinions on everything and are sure everyone else needs to hear them ... all the time. Know-it-alls often think they are more qualified than the person in front of the group.
Resenters. If your group consists of individuals who attend voluntarily, you may not have to deal with resenters. But if you call meetings or host sessions that someone thinks he or she should not have to attend, you may have to deal with this kind of dismissive hostility.
Hecklers. Speaking of hostility, a heckler would be a nuisance in your group. You may not face outright ridicule from someone in your small group, but you may hear off-putting remarks, backhanded compliments or tasteless jokes.
Gripers. Not everyone shows up filled with joy and cheer, but gripers bring more negativity than others. They might grumble about the topic, social setting or any number of things.

If you’ve led groups even a few times, you can probably add your own archetypes to this list. Whether well-meaning or intentionally difficult, overactive participants discourage participation. They can disrupt the entire gathering, prevent anything from being communicated or even cause other people to drop out of the group.

What can we do about it? Here are three key things that effective small group leaders do to keep sessions on track and engaging.

1. Create a safe environment for participation

Everything we do as small-group leaders should aim toward balancing participation. It starts with good, active listening. We should hear what others are trying to communicate without projecting our thoughts and expectations onto them.

Often, one individual dominates a discussion because other participants are shy or need time to warm up to engagement. Make sure to allow sufficient “wait time” after asking questions. Avoid the temptation to call on the same person who’s ready to answer first every time.

Accept comments without judgment. When someone feels nervous about getting involved in the conversation, she or he will be especially vulnerable to negative reactions sent their way. Not only must we respect each voice and correct misinformation respectfully; we also must establish a group culture in which no one is criticized unduly by peers.

2. Keep discussion on course

The conversation is rolling. The next trick is to keep the exchange healthy and fair. Remember that it takes courage to speak up and offer ideas, and participants want to know they’ve been heard. But what do you do when someone has questions or comments that may take the discussion off course?

The “parking lot” is a way of saving distracting ideas until the group is ready to circle back and address them. You can use a special flipchart set off to the side, or flip to a back page in a workbook. Consider designating someone to keep notes on parking-lot ideas and questions.

Another way to help reign in roundabout speakers is simply to ask them to “Tie it in for us.” Usually, participants have a point to make. However, most of us, especially when speaking in public, get lost or sidetracked from our main thought as we speak.

Find ways to move the discussion forward while redirecting back to the original point. Here are a couple of approaches to consider:

Say something like, “Interesting point. Help me tie it to our discussion on ... ”
Paraphrase their comment/question, “Are you saying … ?”
Summarize what you think you hear to guarantee clarity. “What I hear you saying is ... Is that right?”
Simply say, “Thanks for sharing” and move on.

Never letting them see you sweat doesn’t mean never letting them see you vulnerable. If you don’t know something, be honest and ask for help finding the answer. Even the most prepared facilitator cannot anticipate every question.

3. Neutralize negative behavior

Despite your best efforts, you may end up with someone who purposely seeks to antagonize one or more group members. If you run into someone like this, always address the unwanted behavior and not the person.

Here are a few ways to consider responding if you encounter negative behavior:

Use gentle and appropriate humor for redirection.
Restate the ground rules directly.
Direct your questions to the individual for clarification.
Seek help from the group.
Take a break to address the issue directly.

People don’t always know they’re behaving badly, so it’s good to extend grace, especially as you’re getting to know new group members.

Whether you’re sitting in a friend’s home with a small group or around a table with your team, be prepared to navigate tension with smoothness and grace by thinking ahead.

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[Clay Morgan — Clay Morgan is an author from Dallas, Texas who spent a decade teaching college courses in the social sciences before becoming a consultant in communications and organizational strategy. Clay enjoys writing at the intersection of culture and spirituality. He has done ministry with college students for years and loves finding creative ways to engage millennials.]

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How to boost your blog's social shares, traffic and SEO value

What's the point in writing, if no one ever reads your stuff? Is your blog bearing fruit? Take these simple steps to increase readership and get Google to put you on the "map."
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"How to boost your blog’s social shares, traffic and SEO value" by Tricia Brown

Bloggers usually measure success by number of readers and search engine optimization (SEO). After all, what’s the point in writing, if people can’t find you in search engines and no one ever reads what you wrote? While the number of readers, shares or comments is not always the best way to gauge success, you must ask yourself, "Is my blog bearing fruit?" Consider taking these simple steps to increase your readership.

Is your blog bearing fruit? Learn how to boost your blog's traffic and get Google to put you on the "map" TWEET THIS TWEET THIS

Capitalize on your content

You don’t necessarily have to change your message to attract more readers. However, you do need to keep your content fresh. A few minor tweaks may help you draw a larger audience. Here are a few things to keep in mind.

Meet a specific need of a specific audience. The more you know about your readers, the more likely your writing will identify with them. Sites such as Quora, Buzzsumo or one of these blog topic generators can help you garner ideas or see what others in your field are writing.

Use the Headline Analyzer to grade your blog titles. This is a great tool that uses extensive research to show you how attractive a particular title is and then goes further, providing solid tips to increase its score. Tweaking titles can play a huge role in increasing social shares, traffic and SEO value. Learn what headline types get the most traction and start tinkering. It’s a lot of fun to play with words and learn what moves people to take action. Just remember, don't use a really enticing headline if your content doesn't deliver what it promises. People hate that.

It’s a good idea to write several title options, choose the best one and then write the content around it. If you wait to give your piece a title, you may need to go back and rewrite the introduction or body content to make a stronger connection to the title’s premise.

Use the Headline Analyzer to grade/improve titles. Try to score 70% or more. It's kinda fun. TWEET THIS TWEET THIS

Learn about length from the story of Goldilocks and the Three Bears — not too long, not too short, just right. A good rule of thumb is to use the fewest words possible to express your thought as clearly as you can. Remember, you can be concise and still have longer pieces. Google likes longer content as long as it keeps the attention of readers. So in lieu of providing a character count for length, we’ll simply say the best practice is to BE AWESOME and Google will reward your content in search results.

Make your content timeless. Connecting your writing to the latest news story can grab interest, but it can also date your post. If you make reference to a current event, consider anchoring it in a more substantial context.

Harness the power of Google Trends and create compelling content that people are seeking. Use these trends as illustrations or as the topic for an entire blog piece.

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Unearth your blog’s referrals and promoters

Use Google Analytics to discover websites that are referring people to your website. Focus more attention on sites that send the most traffic. Reach out to the content creators for these websites and network. You may want to give shout-outs to your biggest promoters on social media and consider sharing their content. In addition, try the following.

Visit websites that are affiliated with your church or denomination and participate in online conversations within those communities. However, be wary. If you come across as spam, you won’t get far. Make your contributions meaningful and relevant. Point them to your blog only if they are looking for a valuable resource that you can provide.

Connect with other bloggers — even those you consider your “competition.” When appropriate, make positive comments about their material and consider adding links to their blogs on your own. Often “playing nice” is reciprocated.

Take advantage of free “advertising” in your local church’s communication. Talk to your pastor or communications director about including your information in the church newsletter, or Sunday bulletin or on your church website or social media page.

Discover your biggest Twitter followers and promoters by using services like SocialBro and FollowerWonk. Find out who they are, when they’re active on Twitter and much more.

Assist in your own discovery

Help readers find you by optimizing search engine results. Internet users use Google, Yahoo, Bing and other search engines to find information related to various topics. They do this by typing in a word or a phrase. The search engine then pulls up various resources related to those words. Since most users will start at the top, it is better to have your blog listed as one of the first resources in the search results. While search engine optimization can become a complicated process, one way to start is by adding long-tail keywords.

Long-tail keywords are longer phrases that are very specific to the topic about which you are writing. For example, if you are writing an article on the importance of family Bible studies, you will want to include the words “family Bible studies” in your title instead of just “Bible studies.” To help determine what to include, experiment with the words in a search engine.

Type your topic into a search engine and see what autocomplete suggestions appear. Also check out the related search suggestions near the bottom of the page. For even greater detail, type the words into the Google Keyword Planner to find which ones seem to drive the most traffic to sites.

Include those words in a terrific title tag to draw attention to your blog and draw people from search results. Also, make sure to use the words in the page title, description, headers and URL address of your blog. While you don’t want to cram words arbitrarily into your post, you do want to look for strategic ways to include these keywords. Wordpress SEO by Yoast and All in One SEO Pack offer WordPress plugins to help with this process.

Make it mobile (and fast!)

We live in a society where everyone is on the move. To increase your readership, make it easier for readers to access your information. If you use the WordPress blogging system, you can use plugins like WPtouch and Jetpack to help you design your blog to be mobile friendly.

If you are not happy with your church’s Web presence, consider converting your blog or website over to a WordPress-powered site using UMCChurches as your Web host. It is the only place you’ll find official United Methodist-branded, mobile-friendly WordPress templates for your church's website or blog.

If you are already mobile, remember that no one wants to wait for an app to load. If it doesn’t come up quickly, you will lose people. Use Google’s Pagespeed Insights tool to check your blog’s speed score and to find tips on how to get it to load faster.

American novelist and short-story writer John Cheever said, “I can’t write without a reader. It’s precisely like a kiss — you can’t do it alone.” Don’t be a lonesome blogger! Work on increasing your readership today.

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Tricia Brown — Tricia Brown has been a freelance writer and editor for more than twenty years, ghost-writing and editing for individuals as well as for health, education and religious organizations. She enjoys reading, writing and public speaking commitments in which she teaches and encourages other women.

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