Angels among us: God's heavenly messengers for the world
During the Christmas season, we sing carols about angels and hear how they welcomed the newborn King. But what does the church teach about these holy beings?
Learn more
Take the Advent Quiz challenge
The Advent season is full of symbolism and meaning. UMC.org offers an Advent quiz with information and inspiration to give you something new to think about each day as you prepare your heart for Christ's birth.
Test your skills
Photo by Kathleen Barry, United Methodist Communications
Advent wreath with candles lit for the third Sunday of Advent. Photo by Kathleen Barry, United Methodist Communications.PreviousNext
Advent Quiz: Test Your Knowledge of the Season!
See how much you know about the traditions and symbols of the Advent season. Click on each of the questions below to test your knowledge.
We encourage you to come back each weekday to try a new question. Be sure to share the link to this page with others, too. Good luck!
Dec. 4: Which of these Advent hymns was written by Charles Wesley?
Dec. 3: Who told Mary that she would bear the Son of God?
Dec. 2: What favorite Christmas carol was written by John Wesley’s brother, Charles?
Dec. 1: What does the word Advent (from the Latin adventus) mean?
Nov. 30: Why do churches use evergreens as Christmas decorations?
Nov. 29: What is a Jesse Tree?
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A prayer for the Advent season
"Let something wonderful begin in us." Narrated video reflection offers inspiration and words to share during this Advent season. View and download in English and Spanish.
Watch the video
Nativity scenes: More than meets the eye
We see manger scenes and baby Jesus in many places at this time of year. But you may not know all the meaning behind the displays.
Take a closer look
Sad at Christmas? Coping with holiday blues
Know people who struggle with sadness during the holidays? Get some good advice for finding comfort.
Read more
Photograph by Angelia Sims of Angelia's Photography
A candle burns during a service at St. Matthew Methodist Church in Fort Worth, Texas.
Sad at Christmas? Advice for coping with holiday blues
A UMC.org Feature by Joe Iovino*
In December, we watch “magical” Christmas movies, shop from stores promising a special season, and hear songs proclaiming this as “the most wonderful time of the year.” We feel pressure to be jolly, but sometimes we’re not.
If you or someone you love is struggling with the Christmas blues, you are not alone. Many people find the season difficult. To help you through what may be a challenging Christmas season, we sought sound advice from United Methodist pastors, counselors, and others.
Counselor Cindy Elrod advises us to be in touch with our feelings during the season. Photo courtesy of Cindy Elrod.
Accept feelings
Though you may feel like you are supposed to be merry, don’t force it. "You just can't be where you're not,” says retired United Methodist state correctional chaplain, The Rev. Ben Wright. “So if you feel down,” he continues, “feel down.” As he tells the members of the grief support group he facilitates in his United Methodist congregation, “When we acknowledge that we are down, it helps us.”
We ought to give others space to feel whatever they are feeling as well.United Methodist counselor Cindy Elrod cautions, “be in touch with your own anxiety that may surface when you are in the presence of someone who appears to be in distress, so that you are not trying to ‘fix’ them in order to ease your own distress.”
Manage expectations
There can be a lot of pressure to make Christmas perfect. Megan Forshey, program manager of Gilda’s Club Nashville, reminds us to, “try to let go of how things have always been or are supposed to be and allow this holiday to reflect your current reality.” If you are feeling blue, the goal of perfection can lead to stress or disappointment. Keep expectations realistic, and receive the season as it comes to you.
When supporting a friend though a difficult period, help keep the pressure low. Don’t push the “holiday spirit” upon your loved one. Give space and permission for them to cancel a day of shopping, or to initiate a deep conversation on a day you had planned for celebration.
The Rev. Daniel H. Nigolian of the United States Air Force (ret), stands in a field chapel in Afghanistan. Photo courtesy of the Rev. Dan Nigolian.
Be selectively social
While everything in you may want to be alone, fight that urge sometimes. Retired United Methodist Chaplain, Lieutenant Colonel Daniel H. Nigolian of the United States Air Force, encourages those who are struggling to “get with other people.” When serving those deployed far from family during the holidays, “Chaplains work very hard to provide fellowship opportunities for the troops whenever and wherever they happen to be,” Nigolian continues. Don’t feel obligated to attend every Christmas event, but make sure you make time to be with other people.
Nigolian also recommends others stay connected with those who are feeling blue during the holidays. “I always worry about the person who is alone,” he says. “I would stay with that person until relieved by someone close to him or her. I think it's that important.” So stick close and remember, not everything you do together needs to be Christmas related. Mundane chores like laundry and grocery shopping can be lonely times. Offer to help.
Care for the body
Physical factors such as fatigue and low blood sugar, can contribute to a sense of sadness. When feeling down, extra attention to your health is helpful. “Take care of yourself,” Forshey urges. “Adequate sleep, exercise, and good nutrition relieve stress, deter depression and improve self-esteem.” That doesn’t mean you have to avoid every Christmas cookie, but take care of your body.
Healthy habits are sometimes set aside during the holidays. When supporting one who is struggling, you can help by offering to go for a walk together or by making healthy eating choices. The disciplines of diet and exercise always seems a little easier with a partner. Be that partner.
Watch your language
Be mindful of times you talk to yourself in ways you would never speak to another. Thoughts like, “I should be over this by now,” or “I’m ruining Christmas for everyone,” add guilt, which exacerbates the sadness. Instead, look for things to celebrate. When you get yourself to go to that party, pat yourself on the back. When you turn down that third cup of eggnog, tell yourself how proud you are of your accomplishment. Be your own cheerleader.
Cindy Elrod reminds us also to be cognizant of what we say to others. “Avoid these phrases: ‘It’s Christmas! Catch the spirit!,’ ‘You’re just sad because you WANT to be sad!,’ ‘I know just how you feel.,’ or ‘If you really believed in the reason for the season, you wouldn't be sad.’” None of these is helpful. “Giving advice,” Elrod continues, “often results in the other person feeling minimized, dismissed, judged, or unheard.” Focus your attention on listening rather than talking during this time.
Attending a special worship service can be healing. Photo by Kathleen Barry, United Methodist Communications.
Worship
While typical Christmas worship services and programs may not be appealing to you, many churches offer special Blue Christmas or Longest Night worship gatherings. Churches design these services to offer those in attendance the hope of Christmas even while feeling a sense of sadness.
Joyce Kieffer has been planning "Blue Christmas: A Service of Hope" for Community United Methodist Church of New Cumberland, PA for ten years. The service, followed by a time of prayer and fellowship, has been valuable to those participating. "The Blue Christmas service gives people a place to validate their sadness, and to find kindred spirits," she says, in others who are also sad. This year, she continued, "people stayed and stayed. Talking to each other. They didn't want to leave, but needed time to linger and relax."
To find a United Methodist church near you offering special worship gatherings, use Find-A-Churchto check websites and other contact information for congregations in your area. Then, invite someone to join you for worship. Both of you will find comfort, healing, and peace during what is often a hectic season.
It is unrealistic to expect you or your loved ones to feel better simply because it is the season to be jolly. Be intentional in addressing the sadness. Although it may not feel like the most wonderful time of the year, the event we are celebrating – “The Word became flesh and made his home among us” (John 1:14 CEB) – reminds us that Jesus is near, even when we are feeling down.
*Joe Iovino works for UMC.org at United Methodist Communications. He may be reached atjiovino@umcom.org or 615.312.3733.
Don't miss these resources and stories
Watch for: Birthday salute to Charles Wesley
Charles Wesley, the man who wrote "Hark the Herald Angels Sing," was born on December 18, 1707. Keep an eye on our history sectionfor a upcoming look at this co-founder of the Methodist movement and the ways John's brother offered unique gifts that shaped the church.
Advent and Christmas 2015
See all the latest resources and stories related to the season. Visit umc.org/advent.
General Conference 2016
Learn the latest information as the church prepares for Portland.Stay up-to-date.
You are encouraged to use these links for personal reflection and to share them with others for inspiration.
UMC.org is your one-stop site for all things United Methodist.
Visit UMC.org now!
Share:
The United Methodist Communications
810 12th Avenue South
"Let something wonderful begin in us." Narrated video reflection offers inspiration and words to share during this Advent season. View and download in English and Spanish.
Watch the video
Nativity scenes: More than meets the eye
We see manger scenes and baby Jesus in many places at this time of year. But you may not know all the meaning behind the displays.
Take a closer look
Sad at Christmas? Coping with holiday blues
Know people who struggle with sadness during the holidays? Get some good advice for finding comfort.
Read more
Photograph by Angelia Sims of Angelia's Photography
A candle burns during a service at St. Matthew Methodist Church in Fort Worth, Texas.
Sad at Christmas? Advice for coping with holiday blues
A UMC.org Feature by Joe Iovino*
In December, we watch “magical” Christmas movies, shop from stores promising a special season, and hear songs proclaiming this as “the most wonderful time of the year.” We feel pressure to be jolly, but sometimes we’re not.
If you or someone you love is struggling with the Christmas blues, you are not alone. Many people find the season difficult. To help you through what may be a challenging Christmas season, we sought sound advice from United Methodist pastors, counselors, and others.
Counselor Cindy Elrod advises us to be in touch with our feelings during the season. Photo courtesy of Cindy Elrod.
Accept feelings
Though you may feel like you are supposed to be merry, don’t force it. "You just can't be where you're not,” says retired United Methodist state correctional chaplain, The Rev. Ben Wright. “So if you feel down,” he continues, “feel down.” As he tells the members of the grief support group he facilitates in his United Methodist congregation, “When we acknowledge that we are down, it helps us.”
We ought to give others space to feel whatever they are feeling as well.United Methodist counselor Cindy Elrod cautions, “be in touch with your own anxiety that may surface when you are in the presence of someone who appears to be in distress, so that you are not trying to ‘fix’ them in order to ease your own distress.”
Manage expectations
There can be a lot of pressure to make Christmas perfect. Megan Forshey, program manager of Gilda’s Club Nashville, reminds us to, “try to let go of how things have always been or are supposed to be and allow this holiday to reflect your current reality.” If you are feeling blue, the goal of perfection can lead to stress or disappointment. Keep expectations realistic, and receive the season as it comes to you.
When supporting a friend though a difficult period, help keep the pressure low. Don’t push the “holiday spirit” upon your loved one. Give space and permission for them to cancel a day of shopping, or to initiate a deep conversation on a day you had planned for celebration.
The Rev. Daniel H. Nigolian of the United States Air Force (ret), stands in a field chapel in Afghanistan. Photo courtesy of the Rev. Dan Nigolian.
Be selectively social
While everything in you may want to be alone, fight that urge sometimes. Retired United Methodist Chaplain, Lieutenant Colonel Daniel H. Nigolian of the United States Air Force, encourages those who are struggling to “get with other people.” When serving those deployed far from family during the holidays, “Chaplains work very hard to provide fellowship opportunities for the troops whenever and wherever they happen to be,” Nigolian continues. Don’t feel obligated to attend every Christmas event, but make sure you make time to be with other people.
Nigolian also recommends others stay connected with those who are feeling blue during the holidays. “I always worry about the person who is alone,” he says. “I would stay with that person until relieved by someone close to him or her. I think it's that important.” So stick close and remember, not everything you do together needs to be Christmas related. Mundane chores like laundry and grocery shopping can be lonely times. Offer to help.
Care for the body
Physical factors such as fatigue and low blood sugar, can contribute to a sense of sadness. When feeling down, extra attention to your health is helpful. “Take care of yourself,” Forshey urges. “Adequate sleep, exercise, and good nutrition relieve stress, deter depression and improve self-esteem.” That doesn’t mean you have to avoid every Christmas cookie, but take care of your body.
Healthy habits are sometimes set aside during the holidays. When supporting one who is struggling, you can help by offering to go for a walk together or by making healthy eating choices. The disciplines of diet and exercise always seems a little easier with a partner. Be that partner.
Watch your language
Be mindful of times you talk to yourself in ways you would never speak to another. Thoughts like, “I should be over this by now,” or “I’m ruining Christmas for everyone,” add guilt, which exacerbates the sadness. Instead, look for things to celebrate. When you get yourself to go to that party, pat yourself on the back. When you turn down that third cup of eggnog, tell yourself how proud you are of your accomplishment. Be your own cheerleader.
Cindy Elrod reminds us also to be cognizant of what we say to others. “Avoid these phrases: ‘It’s Christmas! Catch the spirit!,’ ‘You’re just sad because you WANT to be sad!,’ ‘I know just how you feel.,’ or ‘If you really believed in the reason for the season, you wouldn't be sad.’” None of these is helpful. “Giving advice,” Elrod continues, “often results in the other person feeling minimized, dismissed, judged, or unheard.” Focus your attention on listening rather than talking during this time.
Attending a special worship service can be healing. Photo by Kathleen Barry, United Methodist Communications.
Worship
While typical Christmas worship services and programs may not be appealing to you, many churches offer special Blue Christmas or Longest Night worship gatherings. Churches design these services to offer those in attendance the hope of Christmas even while feeling a sense of sadness.
Joyce Kieffer has been planning "Blue Christmas: A Service of Hope" for Community United Methodist Church of New Cumberland, PA for ten years. The service, followed by a time of prayer and fellowship, has been valuable to those participating. "The Blue Christmas service gives people a place to validate their sadness, and to find kindred spirits," she says, in others who are also sad. This year, she continued, "people stayed and stayed. Talking to each other. They didn't want to leave, but needed time to linger and relax."
To find a United Methodist church near you offering special worship gatherings, use Find-A-Churchto check websites and other contact information for congregations in your area. Then, invite someone to join you for worship. Both of you will find comfort, healing, and peace during what is often a hectic season.
It is unrealistic to expect you or your loved ones to feel better simply because it is the season to be jolly. Be intentional in addressing the sadness. Although it may not feel like the most wonderful time of the year, the event we are celebrating – “The Word became flesh and made his home among us” (John 1:14 CEB) – reminds us that Jesus is near, even when we are feeling down.
*Joe Iovino works for UMC.org at United Methodist Communications. He may be reached atjiovino@umcom.org or 615.312.3733.
Don't miss these resources and stories
Watch for: Birthday salute to Charles Wesley
Charles Wesley, the man who wrote "Hark the Herald Angels Sing," was born on December 18, 1707. Keep an eye on our history sectionfor a upcoming look at this co-founder of the Methodist movement and the ways John's brother offered unique gifts that shaped the church.
Advent and Christmas 2015
See all the latest resources and stories related to the season. Visit umc.org/advent.
General Conference 2016
Learn the latest information as the church prepares for Portland.Stay up-to-date.
You are encouraged to use these links for personal reflection and to share them with others for inspiration.
UMC.org is your one-stop site for all things United Methodist.
Visit UMC.org now!
Share:
The United Methodist Communications
810 12th Avenue South
Nashville, Tennessee 37203-4704, United States
umcom@umcom.org
umcom@umcom.org
Phone: 615.742.5400
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