|
“Look, we are alive! We were seen as punished but not killed, as going through pain but always happy, as poor but making many rich, as having nothing but owning everything.”
| 2 Corinthians 6:9b-10, CEB |
) |
United Methodist Communictions "New UMC.org Content—Topics that teach, touch and offer tips for your ministry" for Monday, 24 November 2014
Dear Readers:
Join us at umc.org for topics that teach, touch and offer tips to make your ministries timely.
 | ‘Jesus Wept’: Finding God’s comfort when times are bad
When devastating health diagnoses, job losses and disasters threaten lives and livelihoods, we go to God for answers. Jesus feels our pain and knows our loss. He weeps with us.
‘Jesus wept’: Finding God’s comfort when times are bad
By Joe Iovino*
November 13, 2014
The average week's worth of news can seem so bleak sometimes. It can feel like the rug has been pulled out from beneath us.
We read about two girls from one Kansas high school who took their own lives on the same weekend, and how Grace United Methodist Church in Olathe offered the community a candlelight vigil. “It's another step in the healing process,” senior pastor, the Rev. Nanette Roberts, was quoted as saying in the Kansas City Star.
Soon we will mark the anniversaries of the 2004 Indian Ocean tsunami and the 2010 Haiti earthquake.
We also know people who have received devastating diagnoses, and others who were called into the boss’ office and in an instant were unemployed.
When we hear distressing stories like these, we turn to our faith for answers, but often the answers don’t come easily. There are mostly questions. What are people of faith to do in the midst of overwhelming tragedy and strife?
Jesus wept
The shortest verse in the Bible, in the King James Version at least, is just two words, “Jesus wept” (John 11:35). Though only 10 characters, too short even to tweet, that verse has tremendous significance, especially when we are struggling to find hope.
Jesus weeps in the midst of comforting his friends Mary and Martha who are grieving the death of their brother Lazarus. Yes, that Lazarus. The one famous for being raised by Jesus.
Jesus is out of town when he hears of Lazarus’ illness. Rather than adjusting his plans to go visit this friend whom he loves (John 11:3), Jesus instead decides to stay where he is for a couple of days. He tells the disciples Lazarus’ illness will somehow serve the glory of God, and that God’s Son will be glorified through it (John 11: 4).
By the time Jesus arrives, Lazarus has been dead four days. Mary and Martha, Lazarus’ sisters, are understandably miffed at the lack of urgency Jesus showed. In their own way, each of them expresses their frustration with him. They are convinced their brother would not have died if Jesus had come when he was first summoned (John 11: 21, 32).
There, watching the grief of this family and community, Jesus begins to cry. There is debate as to why, John doesn’t tell us, but I am convinced it is out of empathy for the pain of those he loves. In that moment, Jesus was feeling Mary and Martha’s grief, their sense of hopelessness, their pain and loss. So he cries.
Comfort
There is comfort in knowing we don’t worship a stoic God. The God we know in Christ Jesus feels our pain and knows our loss. He weeps with us.
We also worship a God who can take our frustration. Mary and Martha vent, and so can we. As it is in any healthy relationship, we need to be open and honest with those we love, even when we are angry with them. If anyone can take it, certainly Jesus can.
It is also a comforting reminder that even while we are going through our pain, and Jesus feels far from us, it is not because he doesn’t love us. He loved Lazarus, the Bible tells us, even while not taking his illness from him.
New life
Lazarus’ story does not end with his death. At his tomb, Jesus calls Lazarus’ name and the crowds watch in disbelief as Lazarus emerges…alive. While Mary and Martha thought Jesus had come too late to help, we learn there is never a “too late” with God.
We may believe our situation is hopeless. We may not see a solution. We may not have a clue how to get out of the mess in which we find ourselves. In Jesus, though, there is always hope. There is always the possibility of new life, not just some day in the great by-and-by, but here in this life. This is the whole point of Jesus’ resurrection – new life today, and a new life to come.
Questions
When I finish reading the story of Jesus raising Lazarus from the dead, I still have questions. Why did Lazarus have to go through all of this? Why did Jesus come too late to keep him from dying? Why did Mary and Martha have to experience grief?
In the tragedies I experience and read about, I am left with questions also. Why do some feel so hopeless they take their own lives? Why do people of faith receive devastating diagnoses? Why isn’t a doctor and hospital doing so much good, supernaturally protected from illness? Why are families rattled by unemployment and lives lost in natural disasters? Why do we suffer?
While we may not receive all the answers we want, we know Jesus weeps with us.
*Joe Iovino works for UMC.org at United Methodist Communications. He may be reached atjiovino@umcom.org or 615.312.3733.
Questions for discussion and contemplation:
- Have you known anyone whose life changed due to illness, tragedy, struggles? What was your response?
- When have you felt as though Jesus was distant?
- When have you wondered why God allowed something to happen, or didn’t stop something from occurring?
- If you struggle with venting your frustration toward God, why is that? If not, why not?
- How does it help to know there is someone weeping with you when you are suffering?
- Have you ever cried for someone you did not know? Is that a helpful response?
- Can you picture God as having emotions? Does God cry? Laugh? Become angry?
- Why does God allow us to suffer, grieve, and struggle?
- When you are in a place of desperation, what do you do?
- Has God brought you peace and newness when you thought it was too late?
- How does the hope you have in Christ Jesus keep you going?
Resources for further reading:
*Joe Iovino works for UMC.org at United Methodist Communications. He may be reached atjiovino@umcom.org or 615.312.3733.
|
 |
 | What’s a parent to do: There’s an atheist in the house
For parents aching because their child has chosen to be a nonbeliever, stop preaching but do not stop loving.
What’s a parent to do? There’s an atheist in the house
A UMC.org feature
By Susan Passi-Klaus*
My 24-year-old daughter loves staring at the stars, growing roses (which I water) and dreaming about attending art school in England. She is crazy about dogs. Crazy about drawing. And will always remain crazy about Harry Potter.
But the Father Almighty, maker of heaven and earth, and of all things visible and invisible? Well, she is not too crazy about this “God thing.”
When she was 15, she told me she was an atheist. I was not shocked. I was not emotional. I just rolled my eyes and smugly said, “Well, God isn’t finished with you yet.” I was certain that her “lapse” in faith would not last long. She would “get over it” just as she had gotten over Beanie Babies, alternative rock bands and her nasty obsession with wearing all black.
Turned out that the whole ordeal was indeed a growing pain, but mine, not hers.
Ten years later, my persistent daughter continues to stand her earthly ground. God does not exist. Science rules. Carl Sagan is cool.
“I can remember being wary of organized religion, even when I was quite young,” she said. “Something felt ‘off.’ When I was a bit older, I’d notice that everyone around me was clearly feeling something that I could not. They had a tangible relationship with God. They could hear his voice; they could feel his presence. I felt nothing. I thought I was broken. But I kept praying because I thought it was what I was supposed to do.
“Accepting my beliefs — or nonbelief — took me a long time because I was scared of disappointing my parents, and I was scared there was something wrong with me. I felt ashamed.”
So what are parents to do? Her dad and I debated with her. Preached to her. Reasoned with her. We used everything from theological documentation and Scriptural assurance to Sunday school lessons and counseling with the youth director — all to “prove” our point. There is never a “winner.” In the end, if there is an end, we simply decided to love her and support her life journey into herself.
Fight temptation to debate and preach
Some would say we failed not only God, but also our child. The Rev. Kenda Creasy Dean, United Methodist pastor, author and professor of youth, church and culture at Princeton Theological Seminary, understands the frustrations both parents and children face when their religious worldviews do not match.
“I’ve fallen into all the traps,” Dean said. “The feeling of failure is real. So is embarrassment. So is fear and the temptation to debate and preach.”
“Bringing kids to church helps sometimes, but not always,” she said. “If I were an honest teenager, there are times I wouldn’t have wanted to be there either. And as an honest adult, there are times I'm embarrassed by the witness of our church. And there are times I’m embarrassed by my lame witness as a parent.”
Dean’s experience with research reveals that during high school, kids are most likely to mirror their parents’ faith. However, what many young people see in that mirror is that their parents “don’t give a hoot about faith.” They do not make it a priority.
“A majority of young people hold to a benign ‘whatever-ism’ when it comes to religion,’” she said. “They believe that religion helps them to be nice and helps them feel good about themselves, but that God pretty much stays out of the way.” Much has been made of the increasing numbers of young adults — about one in three — who are religiously unaffiliated.
MARQUEE SPURS RESPONSE
Rose City Park United Methodist Church in Portland, Ore., posted a church sign that quickly went viral: “God prefers atheists over hateful Christians.”
The goal was to start a conversation, explained church administrator Kay Pettygrove. “We wanted to share our message, ‘Kindness is better than hatred.’” The church has received both compliments and criticism.
The atheist community is grateful. “I've been told many times,” Pettygrove said, ‘even though I'm an atheist, I would still come to your church.’”
“Most of them aren’t atheists,” noted Dean. “They are ‘nothing in particular’ — they’re not against religion, but they can’t find a reason to claim one for themselves.”
Study after study shows Americans are not very open-minded when it comes to atheists. In fact, they “strongly distrust and fear” — even using the word “threatened” to describe nonreligious people.
Dan Arel, author of Parenting without God, is “one of them.” Raised in an evangelical church, heavily involved in his church growth and nurtured by a deeply religious mother and churchgoing father, Arel began to explore beyond church pews.
‘This is your journey’
He asked many of the questions young adults are asking today: Is anybody listening? Where is the person who should be helping us? What happens when we die?
He expects his own son, now 3, to have many of the same questions. Arel will give him the unconditional freedom his parents offered: to explore and find his own way to whatever he chooses to believe.
“I know far too many atheists who have been shunned by their families,” he said. “[The parents] feel shame for what their kids believe.”
Christian parents, Arel has found, seem most afraid of what their children will not have if God is absent from their life — comfort, endurance and a place in heaven.
“It's very scary for a parent to think their child will go to hell,” the journalist has learned. “They worry people will think their child is ‘lost,’ their social status will be tarnished or others will be judgmental about what is going on in their house.”
They especially worry their children will not have a purpose in life. However, “life has the meaning you bring to it,” he said.
Dean, a Christian, and Arel an atheist, share a philosophy: It is not a parent's job to make their children over into their own image religiously. Parents cannot teach their children what to think, justhow to think.
The parent/child bond should not be broken because they have different worldviews,” said Arel.
Consider this advice if you and your child are struggling with faith and non-faith.
- Always be supportive of your teenage children, even if you do not support everything they believe or do. Unless their beliefs harm others or themselves — which calls for immediate action — do not overreact or become confrontational. Share mutual questions, experiences and points of view.
- Don’t tell adolescents their beliefs are wrong. Support their exploration without fearing or discounting their discoveries and share the ways you explore your own faith.
- Ask yourself questions. Evaluate your beliefs. What kind of role model are you?
- Forgive yourself if you find that you and your young adult children are on different pages about faith..
- Do your best as a parent and let God do the converting. Just because some young people reject God doesn’t mean God has rejected them.
*Susan Passi-Klaus is a freelance writer based in Nashville, Tenn.
Media contact: Fran Walsh, 615-742-5458
|
|
 | Churches can help youth fight cyberbullies
If a bully who hides behind a computer screen or cell phone threatens or demoralizes them, let the children or teens in your church know they have your support.
Churches can help youth fight cyberbullies
A UMNS Report By Joey Butler*
I’m a classical guitarist who spends many hours down the rabbit hole that is YouTube, watching videos of the likes of Sérgio and Odair Assad and the Maestro, Andrés Segovia. And I’ve invented a game: Seeing how far I can scroll down the comments section before the conversation devolves into name-calling or outright abuse.
Name-calling on a video where a guy in a tux plays classical music. Seriously???
Whether it be sporting rivalries, political disputes, opposing religious views or debates on which of Bach’s French Suites are superior (No. 3 in B minor – duuuuh!), the ability to write whatever one pleases in anonymity from a remote distance leads people to say things they would never dare say to another person’s face. It’s bad enough for sports fans to call each other names on Internet message boards — the private, yet public, nature of the online community can lead to far more dangerous behavior.
Internet harassment has been in the U.S. spotlight for several years now, after several victims of “cyberbullying” were driven to commit suicide. The recent news surrounding Gamergate revealed a culture of misogyny and harassment toward women in the gaming community. The relatively small number of victims that makes the news doesn’t represent how widespread the problem is.
An October 2014 Pew Research Center study says that 40 percent of adult Internet users have personally experienced online harassment, and 73 percent have witnessed it occur to others. Young adults, specifically young women, experience more harassment than any other demographic.
The National Crime Prevention Council reported that almost half of teens they surveyed for a 2011 report experienced some form of cyberbullying in the previous year. Nearly half of teens said that cyberbullying happens because the offender doesn’t perceive any tangible consequences or feels he or she would not get caught due to the Internet’s anonymity.
Fortunately, the law is beginning to catch up with technology. The Cyberbullying Research Center reports that 49 states now have laws regarding bullying, and 48 of those included some mention of electronic forms of harassment.
Photo illustration by Ronny Perry, United Methodist Communications.
'Just set the phone down'
“Students have to understand anything you’ve ever posted to the Internet is still there,” said the Rev. Joseph McBrayer, Wesley Fellowship director and doctoral candidate at Emory University in Atlanta.
He said even college-age adults have trouble comprehending the “permanent” concept of Internet posting and described instances of students having messy breakups and posting inappropriate comments about each other on social media.
“I’ve had to meet with them and let them know it’s not helpful and not good for our community,” McBrayer said. “It doesn’t help them seek resolution and it doesn’t draw attention to them in a good way.”
The lack of opportunity to read a speaker’s body language or hear their tone of voice is a limitation of online communication.
“Texting really doesn't give people the real attitude of the person they are texting,” said Maddi, an eight-grader in Franklin, Tenn. “When you hit the send button you can never get it back.”
Maddi recently endured a series of angry and disturbing texts from a friend. After the correspondence escalated, Maddi consulted her youth pastor. She also blocked the person’s number from her phone and “defriended” that person from her Facebook account.
She was eventually able to make peace with the friend, but she sees how texting “can end a friendship just by pushing a button.”
Maddi’s advice for others who find themselves in a “texting war” is simple: “Just set the phone down. Don't text back. You can’t win. It will just get worse and worse.”
Parry Aftab, executive director of WiredSafety. Photo courtesy Ms. Aftab.
Technology can do good
Parry Aftab, executive director of WiredSafety, reports that only 5 percent of young people her organization has surveyed would tell their parents if they’re being bullied online, but one-third of them would confide in another trusted adult.
“A youth pastor could be the most likely person they will trust. So we have to prepare them to be the trusted adult,” Aftab said. “They need to understand cyberbullying and sexting. They need to understand how the technology works and how it’s abused. You have a precious few minutes to do it right, and if you do it wrong you’ll never hear from them again.”
Aftab said Internet issues are difficult for a number of parents to address with their children because it’s an area where the child likely knows more than the parent. But she implored parents not to let a lack of tech savvy become an excuse to ignore the subject. After all, she thinks there are many positive uses for technology. WiredSafety.org offers a Stop Cyberbullying Toolkit, available for free to schools, community organizations and faith-based organizations.
“We hear so often, ‘What would Christ do?’ The power of the Internet to spread good, to bring people together and to enlighten and acknowledge is something Christ would do,” she said.
'When we say something mean, we fail Christ'
Even the technologically challenged can influence young people’s online behavior and practices.
“A church can create an atmosphere where we let people know that kind of behavior is not what we should do as Christians,” said the Rev. Mark Bray, senior pastor of Summer Grove United Methodist Church in Shreveport, La.
Summer Grove held a 2010 event called “No Bully Zone,” after the rash of nationally reported suicides of teenage victims of bullying.
“From a United Methodist perspective, we have the Three Simple Rules, one of which is Do No Harm,” Bray said. “That includes social-media outlets we participate in. That’s something we need to practice.”
Aftab pointed out that advice shouldn’t only be directed at the youth.
“We need to model behavior and be that which we want kids to be. We can’t get catty about what people wear to church. We need to show them that it’s not OK to be unkind or target differences."
The Rev. Kristin Stoneking, a United Methodist pastor and executive director of the Fellowship of Reconciliation, knows all about differences. While serving as a campus minister at the University of California-Davis, Stoneking was part of a team of faith leaders working with about 40 students living together in a multi-faith residence hall. Students who live in the CA House Multi-faith Living Community sign a covenant pledging to be open, compassionate and willing to grow. They also pledge to share their faith with the community but refrain from trying to convert others to their way of believing.
“One of the great things about multi-faith living is it engages students in how to deal with difference,” Stoneking said. “The daily interaction students have with each other helps them go beyond surface ways of understanding or ignoring difference. When students hear the breadth and depth of someone else’s faith journey, it brings them closer to understanding.”
Above all, Aftab, a United Methodist, said the best way churches and faith-based organizations can influence young people is to talk to them in a way they can relate.
“Christianity is very good at making it ‘real.’ The New Testament is written in parables to teach people through example. Faith-based organizations need to take real stories of real lives affected by bullying. We need to encourage the kids within the church to tell their own stories, so their peers can support them.
“They need to know every time we say something mean, we fail Christ,” Aftab said. “To be a Christian comes with an obligation to be good to others, to leave the world a better place than you found it.”
*Butler is a multimedia producer/editor for United Methodist Communications and one-half of Duo Sudeste, a Latin guitar duo.
Editor's Note: This article originally ran in 2010 and has been updated where appropriate.
Related Video
Related Articles
Resources
|
|
 | Prayer for Those Affected by Ebola
The disease that has killed more than 5,000 people in West Africa (United States Centers for Disease Control) is still rampant. What can we do besides raising money and awareness? We can pray. We offer this compelling prayer to share with your congregation.
<iframe width="690" height="388" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/-4l1K8IFoCs" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
Prayer for Those Affected by Ebola
As reports of the 2014 Ebola epidemic in West Africa spread, the Rev. Frederick Yebuah, who is a native of Ghana in West Africa, decided to compose a litany for those impacted by the disease. Yebuah, who is a clergy member in the South Carolina Annual Conference of The United Methodist Church, shared the litany on the website of the United Methodist Board of Discipleship. Producers at United Methodist Communications excerpted a portion of the prayer and matched it with music and images from West Africa to create a powerful meditation for use by individuals or in group settings. It offers a way for people of faith to show their support of those who are suffering and to reflect on challenges in their own lives.
Script:
A Prayer for Those Affected by Ebola
Gracious God, we call you the Great Physician.
We pray your healing power to touch those bodies that now shake with fever, ache with pain, and are too weak to sustain the demands of life.
Gracious God, we know you are a Mighty God.
Grant access to medical care for the most vulnerable in West Africa.
Protect doctors and nurses who kneel at the bedsides of the sick and the dying.
Provide resources in places of lack. Guide churches and church leaders.
Empower all who work tirelessly to be Christ’s hands and feet.
Gracious God, we believe you are Hope for the hopeless. Hold parents who’ve lost children.
Gently father and mother children who’ve lost their parents.
Make your presence known to those who are dying alone, in the streets, in wastelands, without friends or family.
Speak tenderly to all who feel abandoned by the world’s governments and systems of power.
Give strength to our friends in West Africa who feel that “life more abundantly” is an unfulfilled promise.
Gracious God, we know you are the Light overcoming darkness.
Why should we be afraid?
Help us, O God, to trust in your unchanging nature in times of uncertainty.
Grant us peace that Ebola or anything in this life that would threaten to undo us, is not impossible for you.
Hear our prayer.
Amen.
This video was first published on October 20, 2014. Media contact: Fran Coode Walsh
|
|
Coming soon: Image-rich Advent calendar, meditations and other seasonal inspirations and tools.
Story search: We have many tales to tell in the upcoming months on umc.org. Can you lead us to United Methodists trying to keep their faith during financial struggles? Has an older member in your congregation found love — again, across the pew? We would love to talk to people who believe they have talked to God and heard God’s voice calling them. Please send your story leads to fwalsh@umcom.org.
|
| |
|
No comments:
Post a Comment