The Upper Room Daily Devotional Nashville, Tennessee, United States “A Note from God" for Monday, 2 February 2015 - Scripture: Romans 5:1-5

The Upper Room Daily Devotional Nashville, Tennessee, United States “A Note from God" for Monday, 2 February 2015 - Scripture: Romans 5: Therefore, we have peace with God
1 Therefore, since we have been made righteous through his faithfulness,[a] we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. 2 We have access by faith into this grace in which we stand through him, and we boast in the hope of God’s glory. 3 But not only that! We even take pride in our problems, because we know that trouble produces endurance, 4 endurance produces character, and character produces hope. 5 This hope doesn’t put us to shame, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.[Footnotes:
Romans 5:1 Or faith]
Be strong, and let your heart take courage, all you who wait for the Lord.[Psalm 31:24 (NRSV)]
For many years, I have been battling an eating disorder. Initially, it was a response to teasing in elementary school. As I matured and developed a stronger self-image, the disorder faded. After years of feeling I was living a “healthy” life, my disorder returned — stronger than ever. I was forced to leave my job and enter inpatient treatment. After nearly a month and a half in the hospital, then months in intensive outpatient care, I returned home. I still struggle daily to stay on the road to recovery. My days are filled with mental battles, prayers of desperation, attempts to repair injured relationships, and of course, appointments with healthcare providers.
I confess I have harbored resentment toward Christians who declare they have heard the voice of God. Then one morning I had my own encounter with God. As I sat in my physician’s waiting room, my eyes were drawn to a scrap of paper lying at my feet. On it were the words, “Never give up. Never give in.” A message from God? That’s what it felt like to me.
I placed this anonymous encouragement where I can see it every day, and I accept with gratitude that God uses many methods to reach us and provide exactly what we need.
Read more from the author, here.
"This Year"
As I approach the four-year anniversary of my admission to Brandywine Hospital's eating disorder unit, my thoughts swirl, and my mind feels terribly unsettled.  I approached inpatient treatment with the attitude that I had reached my lowest point, and my only viable option was to surrender myself to this targeted, intensive treatment.  I saw it as a sign of weakness.  I felt as though I was admitting I was incapable of dealing with the struggles of my life and was forced to relinquish this control to a team of strangers. Had I realized nothing was truly within my control, regardless, I may have benefitted more completely from my treatment.
My hospital stay, followed by intensive outpatient care was marked with my common approach of following the rules and finding how to please each person as necessary.  While I felt at the time like this phase of my life would be the deepest I would ever sink, followed by a rapid, steady slingshot recovery straight to the "perfect" place I imagined for myself, I have discovered the reality is far more challenging.  I deceived myself into believing that just wanting recovery would be enough to achieve it quickly and completely. 
These last four years have been nearly as challenging as the years proceeding my admission.  I berate myself for not learning enough from my experiences to make the lasting changes I need to in so many areas of my life.  I feel as though God could never truly forgive me for all the shortcomings and failures that have riddled my past.  My husband consistently supports me and pushes for my complete healing.  I owe him more than I can ever repay.  I continually attempt to show my gratitude to God as well.  I know I will never deserve all the many, many blessings God has poured into my life.  As I work to accept grace and mercy, I see repeatedly that God's ways are not my ways, nor are his thoughts my thoughts.  I trust God has an plan to use my struggle to serve him. 
My goals this year are focused on shifting my attitude to one that seeks God in all situations.  I must realize any sense of control I have is merely an illusion.  Only when I completely surrender myself, my struggles, and my future to God can I hope to live as God has called me to live.  My plan for the present is to find the balance between trusting God and taking the actions to push my life further and further into the realm of victory.  I have faith in God’s plan and timing—although I must challenge my impatient nature to daily remember this fact.   I truly believe that God is in control and can use every situation to bring about positive results.  God has not called us to be robotic followers, but to live a full, joyful life of service.  I am excited that this year can be the year I see more of God's plan for my life and begin to live each day completely surrendered to God’s will![Amy Grenoble]
The Author:Amy Grenoble (Pennsylvania, USA)
Thought for the Day: God speaks to us in many surprising ways.
Prayer: O God, thank you for seeking us and showering us with mercy even as we struggle. Strengthen us for our journey. Amen.
Prayer focus: Those battling an eating disorder
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