Now it is commonly said that people resist change. Perhaps, but to me the statement seems incomplete.
We don’t so much resist change as we resist loss. We resist losing the norms, the practices and the patterns of life that have made us who we are today.
Even when we have prepared for a change and understand logically the reason it is coming about, we can still resist.
I’ve known moms and dads, for example, who are so excited about the birth of a child. Yet, just as the baby is about to be born, they express great fear, and wonder whether they are ready for this tremendous change. Of course, in every case, they have gone on to have the child and adapted their lives to this new reality with joy.
In his book Adaptive Leadership, Harvard Professor Ronald Heifetz addresses this phenomenon, and points out that one of the ways to address it is to remember that change is about both loss and affirmation.
When we change, we inevitably keep parts of what we were. A period of change can be an opportunity to remember the foundations on which we build that change.
As he puts it, “Although the losses of change are the hard part, adaptive change is mostly not about change at all."
"The question is not only, ‘Of all that we care about, what must be given up to survive and thrive going forward?’ but also, ‘of all that we care about, what elements are essential and must be preserved into the future, or we will lose precious values, core competencies, and lose who we are?’"
Biblical truths remain at the core of who we are, even if we are not religious in the conventional sense. They shape our values and worldview, and we preserve and apply them today. I give you a template and resource for doing so in Shalom for the Heart.
evan@rabbi.meEvan Moffic
Congregation Solel
1301 Clavey Road
Highland Park, Illinois 60035, United States
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