Editor's Note:
Dear Friend,
The story is told about a Chassidic Rebbe who would go to great lengths and expenses to obtain the most beautiful etrog available in order to perform the mitzvah in the best possible manner every Sukkot.
Each day of the holiday, after he himself would perform the mitzvah of taking the Four Kinds, it was his custom to allow others to use his lulav and etrog as well. Many would avail themselves of this privilege.
One day, after the rabbi’s etrog was returned to him all battered and stained by hundreds of hands, he was asked: “Why do you allow so many people to use your etrog? Look at what’s happened to it! It has lost its hiddur, its beauty!”
“Why,” the Rabbi replied, “this is the most beautiful etrog in the world! What greater beauty can there be for an etrog than the fact that hundreds of Jews have performed a mitzvah with it?”
The lesson is clear. If you have your own set of Four Kinds, beautify it by helping another Jew perform the mitzvah. And if you don’t yet have your own set, contact your local Chabad rabbi to either obtain a set or help beautify his!
Rabbi Yehuda Shurpin
on behalf of the Chabad.org Editorial Team
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The Captive
He does not want to be in that place. He feels himself a captive of his own desires, now a prisoner incapable of escape. Deep within him is the scream of a woman raped in the forest, screaming as she is violated, yet hopeless that anyone can save her.
On occasion, he breaks free of the clutches of his captor, perhaps for a day, a week, maybe even an entire year—and then he is back again, and all seems futile.
It is never futile. The One who made him knows the struggle he fights. That brief victory, as fleeting as it may have been, is more precious to his Creator than the deeds of the most righteous. A precious soul has returned to Him, if even for a moment. And it returned because the soul, at its essence, is only good.
If only he would know that delight of his Creator, nothing could stop him. He would overcome all bounds and never fall back again. Because his Creator’s delight would become his delight, and the two would bond in an inseparable bond.
For in truth, they were always so bonded, only now it is no longer from afar.[Maamar Ani L’dodi 5726.]
On occasion, he breaks free of the clutches of his captor, perhaps for a day, a week, maybe even an entire year—and then he is back again, and all seems futile.
It is never futile. The One who made him knows the struggle he fights. That brief victory, as fleeting as it may have been, is more precious to his Creator than the deeds of the most righteous. A precious soul has returned to Him, if even for a moment. And it returned because the soul, at its essence, is only good.
If only he would know that delight of his Creator, nothing could stop him. He would overcome all bounds and never fall back again. Because his Creator’s delight would become his delight, and the two would bond in an inseparable bond.
For in truth, they were always so bonded, only now it is no longer from afar.[Maamar Ani L’dodi 5726.]
This Week's Features
Don’t Let Your Challenges Get the Best of You
If you cannot crawl under an obstacle, try going over it. by Gitty Adler
What do you do when life gets really tough? When someone or something is just making you miserable? Or when your inner self is creating its own barriers that stop you from progressing?
When a challenge seems too daunting to confront, some people simply choose to avoid it. The Rebbe Maharash, Rabbi Shmuel, takes a different approach. He would say: “TheWhat do you do when life gets tough? world says, ‘If you cannot crawl under an obstacle, try going over it,’ but I say, ‘To begin with, go over it!’ ”
But what does “go over it” mean, practically? The following possible application comes to mind.
Zoom In
Let’s look at physical obstacles—the things that stand in our way.
When we’re on ground level, a mountain doesn’t seem like something we can “go over” very easily. It would take effort, time and patience.
Actually, from ground level, everything looks big. It’s all 3D.
Through our regular human perspective, our life challenges can also be intimidating. Everything is bigger than us. Just like physical obstacles, we see them up close; they can take over us. It seems like they cannot be ignored, and we may not see a way out. Because we are limited.
Now, if we leave our regular human view and tune in the truer reality—the bigger picture—then suddenly, everything that was huge becomes small.
The Big Picture is so much bigger than us: G‑d’s Eternal Universe.
A challenge that is overtaking us at this present moment is just a small pixel of the big picture. We are zooming in to it; it is blocking our vision. We can’t think past it.
The Rebbe Maharash’s teaching helps encourage that our life not become our challenge.
Zoom Out
“To begin with, go over it!”
Don’t let your challenges become overwhelming! Let’s zoom out. Imagine the view from the sky. Look down from your airplane window.
How many miles of buildings, houses, trees and people did you just glide over in moments? The huge mountains look so flat and powerless now. Everything is 2D.
Challenges, too, can shrink to a level of insignificanceChallenges can shrink to a level of insignificance when we realize that we can be in full control of how we react to our challenges, despite the way they seem to want to control our life, freedom and happiness.
This teaching of the Rebbe Maharash, to just “go over” our challenges, gives us a new frame of mind, a new perspective. It’s empowering.
As a people who are “part of G‑d above,” there is a soul inside us that is not limited to any one pixel, and helps uplift ourselves over our challenges.
So take a look out the window, and enjoy gliding over the challenges in your life. Wave to them, feel empowered and thank G‑d for lifting you up.
Gitty Adler was raised in Bournemouth, England, where her parents are Chabad Emissaries. She and her husband currently live in Brooklyn, where she teaches.© Copyright 2016, all rights reserved.
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VIDEO
The Secret to Finding Your Happiness
Who doesn't want more happiness in their lives? The holiday of Sukkot teaches us the secret key for making joy more accessible throughout the year! by Chana Weisberg
Watch (2:16)
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Higher than the Angels
A Chassidic story about the power of a farbrengen
By Yossy Gordon
Watch (2:54)
<script language="javascript" type="text/javascript" src="http://embed.chabad.org/multimedia/mediaplayer/embedded/embed.js.asp?aid=3446517&width=auto&height=auto"></script><span style="clear:both;" class="lb" id="lbdiv">Visit <a href="http://www.chabad.org/multimedia/default_cdo/aid/591213/jewish/Video.htm">Jewish.TV</a> for more <a href="http://www.chabad.org/multimedia/default_cdo/aid/591213/jewish/Video.htm">Jewish videos</a>.</span>
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Let the World Know
The sukkah is a testament to G‑d’s protection over the Jewish people. Like the clouds of glory in the desert, which it represents, the sukkah brings the nations of the world to respect the Jewish people and to recognize that this world has one true Master, G‑d Almighty. Thus, the coronation of G‑d which the Jewish people initiated on Rosh Hashana also reaches its apex on Sukkos, as all the nations of the world recognize G‑d’s dominion.
Watch (8:13)
For forty years, as our ancestors traversed the Sinai Desert prior to their entry into the Holy Land, miraculous "clouds of glory" surrounded and hovered over them, shielding them from the dangers and discomforts of the desert. Ever since, we remember G‑d's kindness and reaffirm our trust in His providence by dwelling in a sukkah – a hut of temporary construction with a roof-covering of branches – for the duration of the autumn Sukkot festival. For seven days and nights, we eat all our meals in the sukkah – reciting a special blessing – and otherwise regard it as our home. Weather permitting, some even sleep there.
We reaffirm our trust in His providence by dwelling in a sukkahAnother mitzvah that is unique to Sukkot is the taking of the Four Kinds: an etrog (citron), a lulav (palm frond), at least three hadassim (myrtle branches) and two aravot (willow branches). The Midrash tells us that the Four Kinds represent the various types and personalities that comprise the community of Israel, whose intrinsic unity we emphasize on Sukkot.
On each day of the festival (except Shabbat), during the daytime hours, we take the Four Kinds, recite a blessing over them, bring them together in our hands and wave them in all six directions: right, left, forward, up, down and to the rear. (The Four Kinds are also an integral part of the holiday's daily morning service.)
Sukkot is also called The Time of Our Joy; indeed, a special joy pervades the festival. Nightly Water-Drawing Celebrations, reminiscent of the evening-to-dawn festivities held in the Holy Temple in preparation for the drawing of water for use in the festival service, fill the synagogues and streets with song, music, and dance until the wee hours of the morning.
Sukkot runs from the fifteenth through the twenty-first of Tishrei. The first two days of this festival (in Israel only the first day) are a major holiday, when most forms of work are prohibited. On the preceding nights, women and girls light candles, reciting the appropriate blessings, and we enjoy nightly and daily festive meals, accompanied by the Kiddush.
Celebrations fill the streets with song and dance until the wee hours of the morningThe remaining days of the festival are Chol Hamoed ("intermediate days"), when most forms of work are permitted. We try to avoid going to work, writing, and certain other activities – many families use this time to enjoy fun family outings.
Every day of Sukkot, including Chol Hamoed, we recite the complete Hallel, Hoshanot, and Musaf, and the Torah is read during the morning service.
The seventh day of Sukkot is called Hoshanah Rabbah ("Great Salvation"). According to tradition, the verdict for the new year – which is written on Rosh Hashanah and sealed on Yom Kippur – is not handed down by the Heavenly Court until Hoshanah Rabbah. On this day we encircle the bimah (synagogue reading table) seven times while holding the Four Kinds and offering special prayers for prosperity during the upcoming year. During the course of the morning prayers it is also traditional to take a bundle of five willow branches and beat them against the ground five times.
Sukkot is immediately followed by the independent holiday of Shemini Atzeret/Simchat Torah.
Artwork by Sefira Ross, a freelance designer and illustrator whose original creations grace many Chabad.org pages. Residing in Seattle, Washington, her days are spent between multitasking illustrations and being a mom.© Copyright 2016, all rights reserved.
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My chest tightened as I listened to what my friend was telling me. She said that a neighbor of ours, a young father of five, was very sick. “He’s starting chemotherapy next week . . . ”
This is going to be a long, difficult battle. The wife is overwhelmed. They need meals cooked for them and babysitters to take care of their small children during the weeks of treatments. I sign up for making salads and cooking side dishes on Sundays—thankful that this is something thatA neighbor of ours was very, very sick I can do, thankful that I’m the one making the meals and not the one receiving them. Each neighbor takes a day or offers help watching the children.
I think to myself, “How else can I help this family?” Unfortunately, I don’t have money to give. I can’t buy the children toys or presents. I look at my hands. Thank G‑d, I have my strong hands that give massage and reflexology daily. I quickly tell the friend, “Tell the wife that I want to treat her to a massage. I’m sure that she needs it. And tell me, most importantly, what the husband’s name is so that I can pray for his full recovery?”
In our little observant community, the word spreads fast. Torah classes are dedicated to this man’s recovery. Psalms and prayers are recited. Each one helps in his or her own way.
I prepare the food, whispering prayers for a complete recovery as I chop vegetables. I then take my children with me to help bring it over. The wife answers the door. She thanks me and tells me how grateful she is about the offer for a massage—how much it means to her and how much she needs it. She tells me that she’ll pay for it. I know that this woman has no money, especially not now during these circumstances. I tell her that I insist—that thank G‑d, this is what I can give. She accepts and takes my number to set a time for the massage.
So many thoughts come to me as I sit in my sukkah, surrounded by my husband and children. I am grateful for this week of being with my family. I cook special dishes and we wear our finest clothes, but Sukkot has another side to it whose beauty can be found in simplicity.
During Sukkot, you leave your home and all its luxuries behind. You dwell in a temporary “hut.” Some are bigger, some are smaller, but none of them are like your real home. Through the tree-branch roof you can catch a glimpse of the stars. You feel the wind. You hear noises—birds, cats, cars, neighbors. In the sukkah, you realize that maybe you don’t need so much in order to connect, in order to be, in order to give and to receive.
During Sukkot, we take the arbah minim, the four kinds, which consist of a palm branch (lulav), two willows (aravot), three myrtles (hadassim) and a citron (etrog). We bundle the lulav together with thearavot and hadassim, and hold in our right hand. The etrog (symbolizing the heart) we hold in our left hand. We put our two hands together—connecting all four kinds. The arbah minim represent four kinds of Jews, each with their own strengths and weaknesses. If one species is missing, the mitzvah is invalid. Therefore, each one is vital to the mitzvah, and so, too, is each Jew vital to the Jewish nation.
The heart extends out to the hands. The hand takes all four kinds. Jews don’t need anything more than their heart and their hands, to reach out. Each person has something to offer. Each person has a talent or gift that can help another. This one can help with a meal, and this one with aEach person has something to offer prayer. This one can help with a kind word, and this one with money. Neither is more important than the other.
A friend once told me, “I want to be rich so that I can help people in need.” Her comment was noble and beautiful, but I disagreed. There is no such thing as “so that . . . ” There are many holy women and men who give and give and give, and they have next to nothing monetarily.
During Sukkot, we step out of our homes, out of our fixed mindset (which is confined by a fixed roof and permanent walls), and we enter into the sukkah, which is the world of limitless and yet simple possibilities. We look inside ourselves and ask: “What are my strengths? Where lies my greatness? What gifts did G‑d give me that I can draw strength from? How can I use my heart, my hands to connect, to be present, to receive and to give?”
Originally from northern California and a Stanford University graduate, Elana Mizrahi now lives in Jerusalem with her husband and children. She is a doula, massage therapist, writer, and author ofDancing Through Life, a book for Jewish women. She also teaches Jewish marriage classes for brides.
Artwork by Sefira Ross, a freelance designer and illustrator whose original creations grace many Chabad.org pages. Residing in Seattle, Washington, her days are spent between multitasking illustrations and being a mom.© Copyright 2016, all rights reserved.
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PARSHAH
“Listen heavens and I shall speak, and let the earth hear the words of my mouth.”1
This is the opening verse of the song of Haazinu, the song that Moshe recited to his people on the day of his passing.
The song is poetic, powerful and poignant.
After a few introductory verses, there is a description of G‑d’s kindness to the Jewish people:
He found them in a desert land, and in a desolate, howling wasteland. He encompassed them and bestowed understanding upon them; He protected them as the pupil of His eye. As an eagle awakens its nest, hovering over its fledglings, it spreads its wings, taking them and carrying them on its pinions.2
The song continues with the prediction that the Jews would eventually turn away from G‑d:
Yeshurun [Israel] became fat and kicked.... You forgot G‑d who made you. You began to serve idols that are new; your fathers never imagined them.3... I will hide my face from them I will see what will be their end for they are a generation of changes; they are not [recognizable] as My children whom I have reared.4
What follows is a story as sad as Jewish history:
I will link evils upon them. I will use up My arrows on them. They will sprout hair from famine, attacked by demons, excised by Meriri. I will incite the teeth of livestock upon them, with the venom of creatures that slither in the dust. From outside, the sword will bereave, and terror from within; young men and maidens, suckling babes with venerable elders.5
The song closes on a positive note, predicting that ultimately, “The nations will cause His [G‑d’s] nation to rejoice, for He will avenge the blood of His servants ... and He will atone His land, His nation.”6
This song was sung quite often in the Holy Temple. Every day, while the priests would offer the daily offerings, the Levites would accompany the service with music and songs of praise from King David’s book of Psalms. All of the songs sung were joyous, and were meant to imbue the service with a spirit of joy, in fulfillment of the commandment to “serve the Lord with joy.”7
Surprisingly, the song that the Levites sang every Shabbat, as the priests offered the Musaf offering, the additional offering for the Shabbat, was non-other than the Song of Haazinu. They would sing one section per week, completing the song every six weeks.
Why this song? Isn’t this the wrong message for the occasion? Granted, the sections sung on week one, two and six, are indeed inspiring, but what about the weeks in between, the portions of the song that foretell the tragedies that would befall our people? How could a person feel uplifted while the Levites were singing, “I [G‑d] said I will cause them to be forgotten, their remembrance will be destroyed from mankind”?!8
The answer is, in the weeks that the Levites sang the bitter parts of the song, they were teaching us how to overcome the tragic stanzas of our lives. The Levites were teaching us to be patient as we allow the song to unfold.
We should not expect to wake up each and every day of our lives and hear a joyous song playing in our ears. There will be days when we hear no song, when all we can hear is lamentation. Yet, the message of the Levites is that each stanza is part of a larger song, which can be heard in full only if we come back next week for more. Ultimately, we will persist, and we will find the joy. We will then realize that the difficult part of the road is just that, a road to a deeper and more meaningful joy.
When everything is going well it is difficult to feel complete joy. Part of us is always worried that the blessings in our life will not last. We can’t be fully happy with our successes, because deep down we fear that we may lose them. We can’t fully celebrate our relationships, because deep down we are worried that they may end. The young couple, whose love is pure, is not fully happy because they are not sure whether their love is deep enough to survive a major conflict, whether it is strong enough to overcome pain and resentment. Only when the relationship survives deep challenges can the joy be complete. For only then do we know that the bond is unbreakable.
The Torah portion of Haazinu is always read in the month of the holidays, in the month that contains both the days of awe, Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, as well as the days of joy, Sukkot and Simchat Torah. In the beginning of the month we face the pain created by our weakness. We think about the sins of the past year, we think about the pain of separation caused by sin, the pain of separation from G‑d and from people we sinned against. In the days of awe, we overcome the pain, we return, we reconnect. And then we realize that our relationship with G‑d is deeper and stronger than we imagined. We realize that our bond with G‑d is unbreakable. That no matter how much pain we caused, no matter how far we tried to run, He has been waiting for us—waiting for us to return, waiting to accept us, waiting to embrace us.
We discover that the intense joy of Sukkot and Simchat Torah is possible only after we experience the days of awe. We discover that all parts of the journey are integral to the intense joy. We discover that they are all part of the same song.
No matter what life brings us, we remember that we are in the middle of a song. If we keep singing, keep playing the notes, we will discover the music. We will discover that there was music all along.9
Rabbi Menachem Feldman serves as the director of the Lifelong Learning department at the Chabad Lubavitch Center in Greenwich, Conn.
Artwork by Sefira Ross, a freelance designer and illustrator whose original creations grace many Chabad.org pages. Residing in Seattle, Washington, her days are spent between multitasking illustrations and being a mom.
FOOTNOTES
1.Deuteronomy 32:1.
2.Ibid., 32:10-11.
3.Ibid., 32:15.
4.Ibid., 32:20.
5.Ibid., 32:23-25.
6.Ibid., 32:43.
7.Psalms 100:2.
8.Deuteronomy 32:26.
9.Based on the teachings of the Rebbe, Likutei Sichot, vol. 24, Haazinu.© Copyright 2016, all rights reserved.
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Women
5 Traditional Marriage Tips You Need to Turn Upside-Down By Yvette Miller
The wedding shower was beautiful: flowers adorned each table, dozens of friends had turned out to celebrate, our hostess had planned a morning of games to entertain the bridetobe. The first activity, she announced, would be something we guests had prepared beforehand: smiling, she handed a stack of notecards to the bride to read aloud. Each contained a piece of marriage wisdom the guests wished to impart.
The bride picked up the first card, and I recognized my own handwriting on it. “Don’t be afraid to go to sleep angry” she read with a giggle, then continued: “If you feel you’re going to have a fight, take a timeout, then discuss your differences at another time when you’re both calmer.”
“I can’t believe it!” one guest cried out with a grin: “I wrote the very same piece of advice. Don’t be afraid to go to sleep angry!” My fellow guest was a few years older than I and a pillar of the community. I felt glad that someone so wise chose the same piece of traditional advice that I had to turn on its head.
“I’ve always heard the opposite—that you shouldn’t go to sleep angry” another guest said, and the other woman turned to gently explain what she meant.
“When you are tired and upset and about to fight is not the best time to discuss things. It’s better to talk about differences of opinion once you’re both rested and in a better mood.” Soon, the room was full of women nodding in agreement.
We’ve all heard the adage “never go to sleep angry,” but taking a break when tempers are running high can be more productive and even prevent turning disagreements into full-on fights.
Here are a five other traditional pieces of marriage advice that are often better turned on their heads.
1. Share and Share Alike
In marriage, there are times when it’s our turn to give with no quid pro quo. Approaching marriage with the expectation that we’ll get something back each time we give is unrealistic and can lead to resentment when one spouse feels that they’re not receiving as much as they should.
Instead, try adopting a goal of making your spouse happy and providing for him or her without keeping score as to what he or she has done for you lately. Think of the relationship between a parent and child: parents love their children and give purely for the sake of building up their kids. While parents don’t give in order to get anything back in return, their wholehearted, selfless giving in fact creates a bond like no other. While it might seem counterproductive to adopt such an attitude with an adult, a partner, the results might surprise you, bringing you closer than before. Instead of “Share and Share Alike,” consider replacing it with the famous dictum of the Talmud: “Treat your husband like a king, and he will treat you like a queen.” (And vice versa.)
2. Love Means Never Having to Say You’re Sorry
This famous aphorism posits that in a loving relationship, everything is forgiven. There’s no need to apologize when it comes to those nearest and dearest to us.
This attitude buys into a common myth that apologizing somehow diminishes us. In fact, saying sorry shows strength, revealing that we are confident enough to admit when we’re wrong, and that we care enough about others to consider their feelings.
Judaism stresses constantly reviewing our actions, seeking ways to improve. If we have erred, then we apologize. Seeking to apologize to those we have wronged is part of teshuvah, which is usually translated as “repentance,” but literally means “return.” Asking forgiveness for our words and actions is a way of returning—of going back to the person we were meant to be. In this view, apologizing isn’t a sign of weakness, but of strength. Asking others’ pardon is a sign that we respect them—and ourselves—enough to want to repair our relationships.
3. It’s What’s Inside That Counts
A few years ago, I was asked to record a short lecture. After writing and practicing what I was going to say, I prepared to make the video: I put on my nicest top, spent time perfecting my makeup and got ready to record myself. Just then, my husband came home from work. He took one look at me, grinned, and said happily: “You look great!”
Instead of pleasure, I felt a twinge of guilt. When was the last time that I’d gotten dressed up just for him? I had fallen into the habit of not making an effort with my appearance. “It’s what’s inside that counts,” I might have said—until that very moment, seeing my husband’s delighted face.
While being beautiful on the inside is essential, making an effort with our physical appearance is a way of signaling that our spouses are important to us, and that we still want to look good for them. It’s one powerful way of signaling that we still care.
4. Never Be Afraid to Speak Your Mind
While it can be tempting in a marriage to let it all hang out, there’s an old Jewish aphorism about the damage we can do with our speech: A bird that is freed may be caught again, but a word that escapes your lips is gone for good.
For this reason, the Jewish sages counseled to be very careful with speech. This goes for everyone we interact with, especially those closest to us, who are most attuned to what affects us and whose feelings can be wounded with a careless word.
Consider rebooting “never be afraid to speak your mind” with different advice. Think before you speak, particularly when you might be about to speak in anger. Adopt a strategy of counting to 10 when you’re upset, and think through the possible consequences of your words.
An alternate piece of advice is this: recognize that actions can be more effective than words. Or according to Rabbi Shammai: “Say little and do much.” (Pirkei Avot 1:15)
5. Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder
While sometimes a little distance can be healthy in a marriage, it’s easy to fall into the trap of developing very different schedules. One British government study into married couples’ use of time acknowledged this modern reality in its very title. It was called “Married at the Weekends,” reflecting the sad truth that for many couples, time together is a rare luxury. Instead of giving in to ultra-busy schedules, try carving out time together. Date nights, trips together, even time spent at home with all electronics turned off cause people to focus on each other. And that, in turn, gives spouses time to savor each other and grow together.
There’s a trove of wisdom to be found in our Jewish tradition that can give us wonderful new guidance and perspectives on marriage. Thinking critically about some of the worn-out pieces of advice that many of us take for granted can help open our eyes to new sources of wisdom and common sense.
Yvette Alt Miller, Ph.D., is a mother and adjunct professor of political science living in Chicago. She is the author of Angels at the Table: A Practical Guide to Celebrating Shabbat (Continuum, 2011).
Artwork by Sefira Ross, a freelance designer and illustrator whose original creations grace many Chabad.org pages. Residing in Seattle, Washington, her days are spent between multitasking illustrations and being a mom.© Copyright 2016, all rights reserved.
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Story
The Holy Silver Thief By Menachem Posner
When Rabbi Nathan Schapiro was still young, before his name as a master of the Talmud and Kabbalah spread far and wide, he quietly devoted his life to asceticism, Torah study, prayer and contemplation.
The only one to know the full extent of his rich inner world was his wife, Roza, whom he cautioned never to reveal what she saw and heard.
It once happened that Roza, the daughter of one of Krakow’s most generous and upstanding men, slipped and told her sisters about her husband’s nightly regimen, which included a tearful rendition of Tikkun Chatzot, the midnight prayer for the arrival of Moshiach. “Do you know,” she said with pride, “that my husband prays and cries every night with such devotion that the angels themselves come to listen? He even warned me to make sure that the door to his room is carefully locked every night, for if someone were to see him in the midst of his devotions, that person would be in grave danger.”
The sisters shared the juicy tidbit about their “eccentric” brother-in-law with their husbands, who listened with a mixture of interest and disdain.
The following night, the brothers-in-law decided to see for themselves what the fuss was all about. During the time that Rabbi Nathan went down to the river for his nightly ritual immersion, the young men crept into his room and hid under the bed.
Rabbi Nathan returned from the river and unsuspectingly went about his usual lofty pursuits. After sitting on the floor and crying bitter tears over the long and painful exile, he sat down at the table to study Torah for the remainder of the night.
It was only the next morning that the tragedy was discovered. The two brothers-in-law were found under Rabbi Nathan’s bed, lifeless.
The entire family was plunged into deep sadness, and none were more sad than Rabbi Nathan, who considered himself guilty of unintentional manslaughter, for which the biblical punishment was exile.
Rabbi Nathan swore his wife to secrecy and then set out on a protracted journey from town to town. He refused to accept food or accommodations, instead subsisting on the meager provisions he carried on his back and sleeping in the local hekdesh (charity guest house) among other indigent travelers. When people asked the noble-looking stranger what his name was and where he was from, he just smiled sadly and said nothing.
Meanwhile, back home, his father-in-law’s grief knew no bounds. His two sons-in-law had passed away in one night, and the third one disappeared without a trace. Yet, as much as he grilled his daughter about the whereabouts of her husband, the young woman remained tight-lipped.
At a loss, he wrote letters to rabbis and communal leaders in the surrounding cities and towns, describing his son-in-law’s appearance and begging them to please relay any information they may have.
In the meantime, Rabbi Nathan continued to travel from town to town, eventually arriving in the large community of Lublin to the northeast of Krakow.
It was the night before Sukkot, the holiday when every Jew makes a point to eat in the sukkah and recite the blessings over the Four Kinds in the morning. Eager to fulfill these mitzvahs, Rabbi Nathan made an exception and accepted the offer of an upstanding citizen of Lublin, who kindly invited him to spend the holiday in his home.
After the evening prayers, Rabbi Nathan followed his host into the sukkah. According to tradition, every sukkah is visited by seven guests: Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Joseph, Moses, Aaron and King David. Temporarily forgetting himself, Rabbi Nathan joyfully called out, “Come in supernal guests, come in!”
His host heard and immediately sensed that his guest was no simple vagabond. Rabbi Nathan remembered himself and quickly resumed the silence that had become second nature to him. Even though he refused his host’s entreaties to share Torah thoughts or lead the singing, his refined comportment and modest table manners reinforced his host’s suspicion that he was a great Torah scholar.
When the meal ended, Rabbi Nathan asked his host to allow him to remain in the sukkah. Full of admiration, the host agreed, and did not even bother removing the silver serving dishes that were still on the table.
As soon as he was alone, Rabbi Nathan took a small Kabbalah book out of his pocket and was deeply engrossed in his learning. He was so absorbed in his study that he did not even hear a thief enter the sukkah and deftly remove all the valuable utensils from the table.
The host returned some time later and saw a table bereft of utensils and the stranger with his nose in a book.
“You cannot fool me!” he shouted at the surprised Rabbi Nathan. “You stole the silver, and now you cloak yourself in piety and pretend to be studying Kabbalah. Fess up and tell me where you put the dishes.”
Yet, as much as he was cajoled, threatened and begged, Rabbi Nathan had no idea where the silver was, and was certainly not about to admit to having stolen it.
Rabbi Nathan was then unceremoniously locked up in the town hekdesh, where he was told he would remain until he confessed his crime.
Rabbi Nathan was not concerned for his honor or about the discomfort of his confinement. His sole concern was how he would be able to fulfill the next morning’s mitzvah to make a blessing over the Four Kinds. He therefore stuck his head out of the small window of the hekdesh and begged passers-by to please bring him a lulav and etrog so that he could do the mitzvah.
Word spread, and even the rabbi of the town heard about the strange thief who shamelessly stole silver and studied Kabbalah and boldly asked that a lulav and etrog be brought to him.
Curious, he made his way to the hekdesh to observe the stranger, whom he immediately recognized as the runaway son-in-law described in the letter he had received from Krakow.
“Come with me,” he said, taking the young man with him to his private study. “The game is up. I know who you are. You’re the brilliant young man who ran away from Krakow. Your father-in-law is beside himself with grief. You must go home.”
Left with no choice, Rabbi Nathan admitted that the rabbi was right and told him of the chain of events that led him to leave home and take up the wanderer’s stick. The rabbi then left the study and assured his congregation that Rabbi Nathan was in no way a thief.
Later,, Rabbi Nathan told the rabbi that he saw the fact that his identity was discovered in such a shameful way as a sign from above that his penance was accepted, and that he was now ready to return home to his wife and family.
Profoundly impressed by his young acquaintance, the rabbi decided to accompany Rabbi Nathan back to Krakow.
On the way, they heard the news. The elderly rabbi of Krakow had passed away, and the city was looking for a new leader. The rabbi of Lublin suggested Rabbi Nathan as a most fitting candidate.
And so it was, at the age of 30, Rabbi Nathan Schapiro, who would one day be known far and wide as the author of the Megaleh Amukot, became the rabbi of the venerable city of Krakow.
Rabbi Menachem Posner serves as staff editor for Chabad.org.
Artwork by Sefira Ross, a freelance designer and illustrator whose original creations grace many Chabad.org pages. Residing in Seattle, Washington, her days are spent between multitasking illustrations and being a mom.© Copyright 2016, all rights reserved.
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Lifestyle
Edible (Non-Candy) Sukkahs by Miriam Szokovski
Did you know that the mitzvah of sukkah is one of the only mitzvahs we do with our entire body? When you enter into the sukkah, you are entirely surrounded by the mitzvah. While the building requirements for a real sukkah are quite specific, when it comes to food art there’s lots of room for variation.
I’m sure you’ve all seen the candy sukkah—typically graham cracker walls held together with marshmallow fluff, and green sour sticks for the sechach (greenery) on top. I’m excited to share some healthier versions, using real, simple food you might serve for breakfast, lunch of dinner.
My ideas are just suggestions using foods you might normally eat together. Feel free to mix and match or come up with your own combinations. If you try out some different ones, leave a comment and share your idea with the rest of us.
Toast and Avocado
This is simply toasted bread, cut into sticks to resemble the boards of a sukkah. On top there is mashed avocado with salt and lemon juice, into which the toast can be dipped (or it can be spread).
Eggs and Cheesy Spinach
Another breakfasty one. Cook the eggs, then cut into a square using either a knife and a steady hand, or a square-shaped cookie cutter. Sauté some fresh spinach in olive oil or butter and salt, then melt a little cheese through it.
Tuna and Celery
Make some tuna, whichever way you like it. Plate it neatly in a square. You can do it carefully by hand, using a knife to straighten up the edges, or you can place a square cookie cutter on the plate, fill gently with tuna, press down with a fork and gently pick up the cutter. Top with crunchy celery rounds.
Carrots and Dill Dip
Carrot sticks and dip. I used (bought) dill dip, but spinach, avocado or olive dip would all work well too.
Mashed Potato and Green Beans
I prefer simple mashed potatoes—boiled potatoes, drained, mashed with salt and sometimes fried onion (fried onion not pictured)—but you can use your preferred method. Create a square using the same method. Top with blanched green beans. Instructions for perfectly cooked green beans here.
Chicken Fingers and Kale Chips
Have you tried kale chips? Some love ’em, some hate ’em. I’m still trying to get on board. But you can easily replace them with another type of green. To make basic kale chips, toss pieces of de-stemmed kale with a little olive oil and salt. Bake at 275° F for about 20 minutes. I love the leafy look they give this sukkah!
The “walls” here are made out of chicken fingers. You can choose whether to bake or fry them. I baked mine at 400° F for about 20 minutes, but if they’re thicker you’ll need to keep them in for longer.
That’s it, folks. I leave the rest to your imaginations, and don’t forget to leave a comment sharing the great ideas you come up with.
Happy Sukkot!
Miriam Szokovski is the author of the historical novel Exiled Down Under, and a member of the Chabad.org editorial team. She shares her love of cooking, baking and food photography on Chabad.org’s food blog, Cook It Kosher.© Copyright 2016, all rights reserved.
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Lifestyle
Art: Jerusalem of Gold Mosaic By Naomi Young
Naomi Young was born and raised in Jerusalem, Israel. She is a graduate of Interior Design in Los Angeles. Jerusalem is a favorite topic for the multi faceted artist. Naomi paints in acrylics, oil and water. She is a mosaic artist, sculptor and published poet as well. She lives in Los Angeles.© Copyright 2016, all rights reserved.
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Chabad.org Magazine - Editor: Yanki Tauber
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Printable Magazine
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Don’t Let Your Challenges Get the Best of YouIf you cannot crawl under an obstacle, try going over it. by Gitty Adler
What do you do when life gets really tough? When someone or something is just making you miserable? Or when your inner self is creating its own barriers that stop you from progressing?When a challenge seems too daunting to confront, some people simply choose to avoid it. The Rebbe Maharash, Rabbi Shmuel, takes a different approach. He would say: “TheWhat do you do when life gets tough? world says, ‘If you cannot crawl under an obstacle, try going over it,’ but I say, ‘To begin with, go over it!’ ”
But what does “go over it” mean, practically? The following possible application comes to mind.
Zoom In
Let’s look at physical obstacles—the things that stand in our way.
When we’re on ground level, a mountain doesn’t seem like something we can “go over” very easily. It would take effort, time and patience.
Actually, from ground level, everything looks big. It’s all 3D.
Through our regular human perspective, our life challenges can also be intimidating. Everything is bigger than us. Just like physical obstacles, we see them up close; they can take over us. It seems like they cannot be ignored, and we may not see a way out. Because we are limited.
Now, if we leave our regular human view and tune in the truer reality—the bigger picture—then suddenly, everything that was huge becomes small.
The Big Picture is so much bigger than us: G‑d’s Eternal Universe.
A challenge that is overtaking us at this present moment is just a small pixel of the big picture. We are zooming in to it; it is blocking our vision. We can’t think past it.
The Rebbe Maharash’s teaching helps encourage that our life not become our challenge.
Zoom Out
“To begin with, go over it!”
Don’t let your challenges become overwhelming! Let’s zoom out. Imagine the view from the sky. Look down from your airplane window.
How many miles of buildings, houses, trees and people did you just glide over in moments? The huge mountains look so flat and powerless now. Everything is 2D.
Challenges, too, can shrink to a level of insignificanceChallenges can shrink to a level of insignificance when we realize that we can be in full control of how we react to our challenges, despite the way they seem to want to control our life, freedom and happiness.
This teaching of the Rebbe Maharash, to just “go over” our challenges, gives us a new frame of mind, a new perspective. It’s empowering.
As a people who are “part of G‑d above,” there is a soul inside us that is not limited to any one pixel, and helps uplift ourselves over our challenges.
So take a look out the window, and enjoy gliding over the challenges in your life. Wave to them, feel empowered and thank G‑d for lifting you up.
Gitty Adler was raised in Bournemouth, England, where her parents are Chabad Emissaries. She and her husband currently live in Brooklyn, where she teaches.© Copyright 2016, all rights reserved.
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VIDEO
The Secret to Finding Your HappinessWho doesn't want more happiness in their lives? The holiday of Sukkot teaches us the secret key for making joy more accessible throughout the year! by Chana Weisberg
Watch (2:16)<script language="javascript" type="text/javascript" src="http://embed.chabad.org/multimedia/mediaplayer/embedded/embed.js.asp?aid=3425486&width=auto&height=auto"></script><span style="clear:both;" class="lb" id="lbdiv">Visit <a href="http://www.chabad.org/multimedia/default_cdo/aid/591213/jewish/Video.htm">Jewish.TV</a> for more <a href="http://www.chabad.org/multimedia/default_cdo/aid/591213/jewish/Video.htm">Jewish videos</a>.</span>
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Higher than the AngelsA Chassidic story about the power of a farbrengen
By Yossy Gordon
Watch (2:54)<script language="javascript" type="text/javascript" src="http://embed.chabad.org/multimedia/mediaplayer/embedded/embed.js.asp?aid=3446517&width=auto&height=auto"></script><span style="clear:both;" class="lb" id="lbdiv">Visit <a href="http://www.chabad.org/multimedia/default_cdo/aid/591213/jewish/Video.htm">Jewish.TV</a> for more <a href="http://www.chabad.org/multimedia/default_cdo/aid/591213/jewish/Video.htm">Jewish videos</a>.</span>
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Let the World KnowThe sukkah is a testament to G‑d’s protection over the Jewish people. Like the clouds of glory in the desert, which it represents, the sukkah brings the nations of the world to respect the Jewish people and to recognize that this world has one true Master, G‑d Almighty. Thus, the coronation of G‑d which the Jewish people initiated on Rosh Hashana also reaches its apex on Sukkos, as all the nations of the world recognize G‑d’s dominion.
Watch (8:13)
http://www.chabad.org/therebbe/livingtorah/player_cdo/aid/3445218/jewish/Let-the-World-Know.htm
http://www.chabad.org/3445218
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Sukkot
Everything You Need for Sukkot
Sukkot
October 16-23, 2016
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Sukkot
How Is Sukkot Observed? by Chabad.org Staff
http://www.chabad.org/3445218
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Sukkot
Everything You Need for Sukkot
Sukkot
October 16-23, 2016
Quick Links: Candle-Lighting Times | Find a Local Holiday Event | Tishrei in Ten | Shopping © Copyright 2016, all rights reserved.-------
Sukkot
How Is Sukkot Observed? by Chabad.org Staff
For forty years, as our ancestors traversed the Sinai Desert prior to their entry into the Holy Land, miraculous "clouds of glory" surrounded and hovered over them, shielding them from the dangers and discomforts of the desert. Ever since, we remember G‑d's kindness and reaffirm our trust in His providence by dwelling in a sukkah – a hut of temporary construction with a roof-covering of branches – for the duration of the autumn Sukkot festival. For seven days and nights, we eat all our meals in the sukkah – reciting a special blessing – and otherwise regard it as our home. Weather permitting, some even sleep there.We reaffirm our trust in His providence by dwelling in a sukkahAnother mitzvah that is unique to Sukkot is the taking of the Four Kinds: an etrog (citron), a lulav (palm frond), at least three hadassim (myrtle branches) and two aravot (willow branches). The Midrash tells us that the Four Kinds represent the various types and personalities that comprise the community of Israel, whose intrinsic unity we emphasize on Sukkot.
On each day of the festival (except Shabbat), during the daytime hours, we take the Four Kinds, recite a blessing over them, bring them together in our hands and wave them in all six directions: right, left, forward, up, down and to the rear. (The Four Kinds are also an integral part of the holiday's daily morning service.)
Sukkot is also called The Time of Our Joy; indeed, a special joy pervades the festival. Nightly Water-Drawing Celebrations, reminiscent of the evening-to-dawn festivities held in the Holy Temple in preparation for the drawing of water for use in the festival service, fill the synagogues and streets with song, music, and dance until the wee hours of the morning.
Sukkot runs from the fifteenth through the twenty-first of Tishrei. The first two days of this festival (in Israel only the first day) are a major holiday, when most forms of work are prohibited. On the preceding nights, women and girls light candles, reciting the appropriate blessings, and we enjoy nightly and daily festive meals, accompanied by the Kiddush.
Celebrations fill the streets with song and dance until the wee hours of the morningThe remaining days of the festival are Chol Hamoed ("intermediate days"), when most forms of work are permitted. We try to avoid going to work, writing, and certain other activities – many families use this time to enjoy fun family outings.
Every day of Sukkot, including Chol Hamoed, we recite the complete Hallel, Hoshanot, and Musaf, and the Torah is read during the morning service.
The seventh day of Sukkot is called Hoshanah Rabbah ("Great Salvation"). According to tradition, the verdict for the new year – which is written on Rosh Hashanah and sealed on Yom Kippur – is not handed down by the Heavenly Court until Hoshanah Rabbah. On this day we encircle the bimah (synagogue reading table) seven times while holding the Four Kinds and offering special prayers for prosperity during the upcoming year. During the course of the morning prayers it is also traditional to take a bundle of five willow branches and beat them against the ground five times.
Sukkot is immediately followed by the independent holiday of Shemini Atzeret/Simchat Torah.
Artwork by Sefira Ross, a freelance designer and illustrator whose original creations grace many Chabad.org pages. Residing in Seattle, Washington, her days are spent between multitasking illustrations and being a mom.© Copyright 2016, all rights reserved.
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Sukkot
The Simple Power of Giving By Elana Mizrahi
The Simple Power of Giving By Elana Mizrahi
My chest tightened as I listened to what my friend was telling me. She said that a neighbor of ours, a young father of five, was very sick. “He’s starting chemotherapy next week . . . ”This is going to be a long, difficult battle. The wife is overwhelmed. They need meals cooked for them and babysitters to take care of their small children during the weeks of treatments. I sign up for making salads and cooking side dishes on Sundays—thankful that this is something thatA neighbor of ours was very, very sick I can do, thankful that I’m the one making the meals and not the one receiving them. Each neighbor takes a day or offers help watching the children.
I think to myself, “How else can I help this family?” Unfortunately, I don’t have money to give. I can’t buy the children toys or presents. I look at my hands. Thank G‑d, I have my strong hands that give massage and reflexology daily. I quickly tell the friend, “Tell the wife that I want to treat her to a massage. I’m sure that she needs it. And tell me, most importantly, what the husband’s name is so that I can pray for his full recovery?”
In our little observant community, the word spreads fast. Torah classes are dedicated to this man’s recovery. Psalms and prayers are recited. Each one helps in his or her own way.
I prepare the food, whispering prayers for a complete recovery as I chop vegetables. I then take my children with me to help bring it over. The wife answers the door. She thanks me and tells me how grateful she is about the offer for a massage—how much it means to her and how much she needs it. She tells me that she’ll pay for it. I know that this woman has no money, especially not now during these circumstances. I tell her that I insist—that thank G‑d, this is what I can give. She accepts and takes my number to set a time for the massage.
So many thoughts come to me as I sit in my sukkah, surrounded by my husband and children. I am grateful for this week of being with my family. I cook special dishes and we wear our finest clothes, but Sukkot has another side to it whose beauty can be found in simplicity.
During Sukkot, you leave your home and all its luxuries behind. You dwell in a temporary “hut.” Some are bigger, some are smaller, but none of them are like your real home. Through the tree-branch roof you can catch a glimpse of the stars. You feel the wind. You hear noises—birds, cats, cars, neighbors. In the sukkah, you realize that maybe you don’t need so much in order to connect, in order to be, in order to give and to receive.
During Sukkot, we take the arbah minim, the four kinds, which consist of a palm branch (lulav), two willows (aravot), three myrtles (hadassim) and a citron (etrog). We bundle the lulav together with thearavot and hadassim, and hold in our right hand. The etrog (symbolizing the heart) we hold in our left hand. We put our two hands together—connecting all four kinds. The arbah minim represent four kinds of Jews, each with their own strengths and weaknesses. If one species is missing, the mitzvah is invalid. Therefore, each one is vital to the mitzvah, and so, too, is each Jew vital to the Jewish nation.
The heart extends out to the hands. The hand takes all four kinds. Jews don’t need anything more than their heart and their hands, to reach out. Each person has something to offer. Each person has a talent or gift that can help another. This one can help with a meal, and this one with aEach person has something to offer prayer. This one can help with a kind word, and this one with money. Neither is more important than the other.
A friend once told me, “I want to be rich so that I can help people in need.” Her comment was noble and beautiful, but I disagreed. There is no such thing as “so that . . . ” There are many holy women and men who give and give and give, and they have next to nothing monetarily.
During Sukkot, we step out of our homes, out of our fixed mindset (which is confined by a fixed roof and permanent walls), and we enter into the sukkah, which is the world of limitless and yet simple possibilities. We look inside ourselves and ask: “What are my strengths? Where lies my greatness? What gifts did G‑d give me that I can draw strength from? How can I use my heart, my hands to connect, to be present, to receive and to give?”
Originally from northern California and a Stanford University graduate, Elana Mizrahi now lives in Jerusalem with her husband and children. She is a doula, massage therapist, writer, and author ofDancing Through Life, a book for Jewish women. She also teaches Jewish marriage classes for brides.
Artwork by Sefira Ross, a freelance designer and illustrator whose original creations grace many Chabad.org pages. Residing in Seattle, Washington, her days are spent between multitasking illustrations and being a mom.© Copyright 2016, all rights reserved.
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PARSHAH
Learn the Parshah of the Week
Parshat Haazinu
GUEST COLUMNISTS
Why Sing Sad Songs?
Why this song? Isn’t this the wrong message for the occasion?
By Menachem Feldman
HAAZINU ART
Bridging Heaven and Earth
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Let My Teaching Fall Like Rain
There is much we can do of our own accord: we can plow the earth and plant the seeds. But in the...
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The Origins of Jewish Music
“If Judaism will be celebrated rather than commemorated,” sang Moses, “and allowed to work its...
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WHAT DO YOU THINK?
Sing, My Children, Sing!
Why is Moses singing on the last day of his life?
By Levi Avtzon
LIVING THROUGH THE PARSHAH
Hanging On by a Rope
It is not by coincidence that the reading of Haazinu, the portion that is always read in proximity...
By Rochel Holzkenner
TEXTS & SUMMARIES
Haazinu in a Nutshell
Deuteronomy 32:1–52
Ha'azinu Texts & Summaries
Parshat Haazinu
GUEST COLUMNISTS
Why Sing Sad Songs?
Why this song? Isn’t this the wrong message for the occasion?
By Menachem Feldman
HAAZINU ART
Bridging Heaven and Earth
By Yoram Raanan
COVENANT & CONVERSATION
Let My Teaching Fall Like Rain
There is much we can do of our own accord: we can plow the earth and plant the seeds. But in the...
By Rabbi Jonathan Sacks
WHAT THE REBBE TAUGHT ME
The Origins of Jewish Music
“If Judaism will be celebrated rather than commemorated,” sang Moses, “and allowed to work its...
By Mendel Kalmenson
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
Sing, My Children, Sing!
Why is Moses singing on the last day of his life?
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LIVING THROUGH THE PARSHAH
Hanging On by a Rope
It is not by coincidence that the reading of Haazinu, the portion that is always read in proximity...
By Rochel Holzkenner
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Haazinu in a Nutshell
Deuteronomy 32:1–52
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Torah Gems - Parshah Haazinu
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Parshah
Why Sing Sad Songs? By Menachem Feldman
Why Sing Sad Songs? By Menachem Feldman
“Listen heavens and I shall speak, and let the earth hear the words of my mouth.”1This is the opening verse of the song of Haazinu, the song that Moshe recited to his people on the day of his passing.
The song is poetic, powerful and poignant.
After a few introductory verses, there is a description of G‑d’s kindness to the Jewish people:
He found them in a desert land, and in a desolate, howling wasteland. He encompassed them and bestowed understanding upon them; He protected them as the pupil of His eye. As an eagle awakens its nest, hovering over its fledglings, it spreads its wings, taking them and carrying them on its pinions.2
The song continues with the prediction that the Jews would eventually turn away from G‑d:
Yeshurun [Israel] became fat and kicked.... You forgot G‑d who made you. You began to serve idols that are new; your fathers never imagined them.3... I will hide my face from them I will see what will be their end for they are a generation of changes; they are not [recognizable] as My children whom I have reared.4
What follows is a story as sad as Jewish history:
I will link evils upon them. I will use up My arrows on them. They will sprout hair from famine, attacked by demons, excised by Meriri. I will incite the teeth of livestock upon them, with the venom of creatures that slither in the dust. From outside, the sword will bereave, and terror from within; young men and maidens, suckling babes with venerable elders.5
The song closes on a positive note, predicting that ultimately, “The nations will cause His [G‑d’s] nation to rejoice, for He will avenge the blood of His servants ... and He will atone His land, His nation.”6
This song was sung quite often in the Holy Temple. Every day, while the priests would offer the daily offerings, the Levites would accompany the service with music and songs of praise from King David’s book of Psalms. All of the songs sung were joyous, and were meant to imbue the service with a spirit of joy, in fulfillment of the commandment to “serve the Lord with joy.”7
Surprisingly, the song that the Levites sang every Shabbat, as the priests offered the Musaf offering, the additional offering for the Shabbat, was non-other than the Song of Haazinu. They would sing one section per week, completing the song every six weeks.
Why this song? Isn’t this the wrong message for the occasion? Granted, the sections sung on week one, two and six, are indeed inspiring, but what about the weeks in between, the portions of the song that foretell the tragedies that would befall our people? How could a person feel uplifted while the Levites were singing, “I [G‑d] said I will cause them to be forgotten, their remembrance will be destroyed from mankind”?!8
The answer is, in the weeks that the Levites sang the bitter parts of the song, they were teaching us how to overcome the tragic stanzas of our lives. The Levites were teaching us to be patient as we allow the song to unfold.
We should not expect to wake up each and every day of our lives and hear a joyous song playing in our ears. There will be days when we hear no song, when all we can hear is lamentation. Yet, the message of the Levites is that each stanza is part of a larger song, which can be heard in full only if we come back next week for more. Ultimately, we will persist, and we will find the joy. We will then realize that the difficult part of the road is just that, a road to a deeper and more meaningful joy.
When everything is going well it is difficult to feel complete joy. Part of us is always worried that the blessings in our life will not last. We can’t be fully happy with our successes, because deep down we fear that we may lose them. We can’t fully celebrate our relationships, because deep down we are worried that they may end. The young couple, whose love is pure, is not fully happy because they are not sure whether their love is deep enough to survive a major conflict, whether it is strong enough to overcome pain and resentment. Only when the relationship survives deep challenges can the joy be complete. For only then do we know that the bond is unbreakable.
The Torah portion of Haazinu is always read in the month of the holidays, in the month that contains both the days of awe, Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, as well as the days of joy, Sukkot and Simchat Torah. In the beginning of the month we face the pain created by our weakness. We think about the sins of the past year, we think about the pain of separation caused by sin, the pain of separation from G‑d and from people we sinned against. In the days of awe, we overcome the pain, we return, we reconnect. And then we realize that our relationship with G‑d is deeper and stronger than we imagined. We realize that our bond with G‑d is unbreakable. That no matter how much pain we caused, no matter how far we tried to run, He has been waiting for us—waiting for us to return, waiting to accept us, waiting to embrace us.
We discover that the intense joy of Sukkot and Simchat Torah is possible only after we experience the days of awe. We discover that all parts of the journey are integral to the intense joy. We discover that they are all part of the same song.
No matter what life brings us, we remember that we are in the middle of a song. If we keep singing, keep playing the notes, we will discover the music. We will discover that there was music all along.9
Rabbi Menachem Feldman serves as the director of the Lifelong Learning department at the Chabad Lubavitch Center in Greenwich, Conn.
Artwork by Sefira Ross, a freelance designer and illustrator whose original creations grace many Chabad.org pages. Residing in Seattle, Washington, her days are spent between multitasking illustrations and being a mom.
FOOTNOTES
1.Deuteronomy 32:1.
2.Ibid., 32:10-11.
3.Ibid., 32:15.
4.Ibid., 32:20.
5.Ibid., 32:23-25.
6.Ibid., 32:43.
7.Psalms 100:2.
8.Deuteronomy 32:26.
9.Based on the teachings of the Rebbe, Likutei Sichot, vol. 24, Haazinu.© Copyright 2016, all rights reserved.
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Women
5 Traditional Marriage Tips You Need to Turn Upside-Down By Yvette Miller
The wedding shower was beautiful: flowers adorned each table, dozens of friends had turned out to celebrate, our hostess had planned a morning of games to entertain the bridetobe. The first activity, she announced, would be something we guests had prepared beforehand: smiling, she handed a stack of notecards to the bride to read aloud. Each contained a piece of marriage wisdom the guests wished to impart.The bride picked up the first card, and I recognized my own handwriting on it. “Don’t be afraid to go to sleep angry” she read with a giggle, then continued: “If you feel you’re going to have a fight, take a timeout, then discuss your differences at another time when you’re both calmer.”
“I can’t believe it!” one guest cried out with a grin: “I wrote the very same piece of advice. Don’t be afraid to go to sleep angry!” My fellow guest was a few years older than I and a pillar of the community. I felt glad that someone so wise chose the same piece of traditional advice that I had to turn on its head.
“I’ve always heard the opposite—that you shouldn’t go to sleep angry” another guest said, and the other woman turned to gently explain what she meant.
“When you are tired and upset and about to fight is not the best time to discuss things. It’s better to talk about differences of opinion once you’re both rested and in a better mood.” Soon, the room was full of women nodding in agreement.
We’ve all heard the adage “never go to sleep angry,” but taking a break when tempers are running high can be more productive and even prevent turning disagreements into full-on fights.
Here are a five other traditional pieces of marriage advice that are often better turned on their heads.
1. Share and Share Alike
In marriage, there are times when it’s our turn to give with no quid pro quo. Approaching marriage with the expectation that we’ll get something back each time we give is unrealistic and can lead to resentment when one spouse feels that they’re not receiving as much as they should.
Instead, try adopting a goal of making your spouse happy and providing for him or her without keeping score as to what he or she has done for you lately. Think of the relationship between a parent and child: parents love their children and give purely for the sake of building up their kids. While parents don’t give in order to get anything back in return, their wholehearted, selfless giving in fact creates a bond like no other. While it might seem counterproductive to adopt such an attitude with an adult, a partner, the results might surprise you, bringing you closer than before. Instead of “Share and Share Alike,” consider replacing it with the famous dictum of the Talmud: “Treat your husband like a king, and he will treat you like a queen.” (And vice versa.)
2. Love Means Never Having to Say You’re Sorry
This famous aphorism posits that in a loving relationship, everything is forgiven. There’s no need to apologize when it comes to those nearest and dearest to us.
This attitude buys into a common myth that apologizing somehow diminishes us. In fact, saying sorry shows strength, revealing that we are confident enough to admit when we’re wrong, and that we care enough about others to consider their feelings.
Judaism stresses constantly reviewing our actions, seeking ways to improve. If we have erred, then we apologize. Seeking to apologize to those we have wronged is part of teshuvah, which is usually translated as “repentance,” but literally means “return.” Asking forgiveness for our words and actions is a way of returning—of going back to the person we were meant to be. In this view, apologizing isn’t a sign of weakness, but of strength. Asking others’ pardon is a sign that we respect them—and ourselves—enough to want to repair our relationships.
3. It’s What’s Inside That Counts
A few years ago, I was asked to record a short lecture. After writing and practicing what I was going to say, I prepared to make the video: I put on my nicest top, spent time perfecting my makeup and got ready to record myself. Just then, my husband came home from work. He took one look at me, grinned, and said happily: “You look great!”
Instead of pleasure, I felt a twinge of guilt. When was the last time that I’d gotten dressed up just for him? I had fallen into the habit of not making an effort with my appearance. “It’s what’s inside that counts,” I might have said—until that very moment, seeing my husband’s delighted face.
While being beautiful on the inside is essential, making an effort with our physical appearance is a way of signaling that our spouses are important to us, and that we still want to look good for them. It’s one powerful way of signaling that we still care.
4. Never Be Afraid to Speak Your Mind
While it can be tempting in a marriage to let it all hang out, there’s an old Jewish aphorism about the damage we can do with our speech: A bird that is freed may be caught again, but a word that escapes your lips is gone for good.
For this reason, the Jewish sages counseled to be very careful with speech. This goes for everyone we interact with, especially those closest to us, who are most attuned to what affects us and whose feelings can be wounded with a careless word.
Consider rebooting “never be afraid to speak your mind” with different advice. Think before you speak, particularly when you might be about to speak in anger. Adopt a strategy of counting to 10 when you’re upset, and think through the possible consequences of your words.
An alternate piece of advice is this: recognize that actions can be more effective than words. Or according to Rabbi Shammai: “Say little and do much.” (Pirkei Avot 1:15)
5. Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder
While sometimes a little distance can be healthy in a marriage, it’s easy to fall into the trap of developing very different schedules. One British government study into married couples’ use of time acknowledged this modern reality in its very title. It was called “Married at the Weekends,” reflecting the sad truth that for many couples, time together is a rare luxury. Instead of giving in to ultra-busy schedules, try carving out time together. Date nights, trips together, even time spent at home with all electronics turned off cause people to focus on each other. And that, in turn, gives spouses time to savor each other and grow together.
There’s a trove of wisdom to be found in our Jewish tradition that can give us wonderful new guidance and perspectives on marriage. Thinking critically about some of the worn-out pieces of advice that many of us take for granted can help open our eyes to new sources of wisdom and common sense.
Yvette Alt Miller, Ph.D., is a mother and adjunct professor of political science living in Chicago. She is the author of Angels at the Table: A Practical Guide to Celebrating Shabbat (Continuum, 2011).
Artwork by Sefira Ross, a freelance designer and illustrator whose original creations grace many Chabad.org pages. Residing in Seattle, Washington, her days are spent between multitasking illustrations and being a mom.© Copyright 2016, all rights reserved.
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Story
The Holy Silver Thief By Menachem Posner
When Rabbi Nathan Schapiro was still young, before his name as a master of the Talmud and Kabbalah spread far and wide, he quietly devoted his life to asceticism, Torah study, prayer and contemplation.The only one to know the full extent of his rich inner world was his wife, Roza, whom he cautioned never to reveal what she saw and heard.
It once happened that Roza, the daughter of one of Krakow’s most generous and upstanding men, slipped and told her sisters about her husband’s nightly regimen, which included a tearful rendition of Tikkun Chatzot, the midnight prayer for the arrival of Moshiach. “Do you know,” she said with pride, “that my husband prays and cries every night with such devotion that the angels themselves come to listen? He even warned me to make sure that the door to his room is carefully locked every night, for if someone were to see him in the midst of his devotions, that person would be in grave danger.”
The sisters shared the juicy tidbit about their “eccentric” brother-in-law with their husbands, who listened with a mixture of interest and disdain.
The following night, the brothers-in-law decided to see for themselves what the fuss was all about. During the time that Rabbi Nathan went down to the river for his nightly ritual immersion, the young men crept into his room and hid under the bed.
Rabbi Nathan returned from the river and unsuspectingly went about his usual lofty pursuits. After sitting on the floor and crying bitter tears over the long and painful exile, he sat down at the table to study Torah for the remainder of the night.
It was only the next morning that the tragedy was discovered. The two brothers-in-law were found under Rabbi Nathan’s bed, lifeless.
The entire family was plunged into deep sadness, and none were more sad than Rabbi Nathan, who considered himself guilty of unintentional manslaughter, for which the biblical punishment was exile.
Rabbi Nathan swore his wife to secrecy and then set out on a protracted journey from town to town. He refused to accept food or accommodations, instead subsisting on the meager provisions he carried on his back and sleeping in the local hekdesh (charity guest house) among other indigent travelers. When people asked the noble-looking stranger what his name was and where he was from, he just smiled sadly and said nothing.
Meanwhile, back home, his father-in-law’s grief knew no bounds. His two sons-in-law had passed away in one night, and the third one disappeared without a trace. Yet, as much as he grilled his daughter about the whereabouts of her husband, the young woman remained tight-lipped.
At a loss, he wrote letters to rabbis and communal leaders in the surrounding cities and towns, describing his son-in-law’s appearance and begging them to please relay any information they may have.
In the meantime, Rabbi Nathan continued to travel from town to town, eventually arriving in the large community of Lublin to the northeast of Krakow.
It was the night before Sukkot, the holiday when every Jew makes a point to eat in the sukkah and recite the blessings over the Four Kinds in the morning. Eager to fulfill these mitzvahs, Rabbi Nathan made an exception and accepted the offer of an upstanding citizen of Lublin, who kindly invited him to spend the holiday in his home.
After the evening prayers, Rabbi Nathan followed his host into the sukkah. According to tradition, every sukkah is visited by seven guests: Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Joseph, Moses, Aaron and King David. Temporarily forgetting himself, Rabbi Nathan joyfully called out, “Come in supernal guests, come in!”
His host heard and immediately sensed that his guest was no simple vagabond. Rabbi Nathan remembered himself and quickly resumed the silence that had become second nature to him. Even though he refused his host’s entreaties to share Torah thoughts or lead the singing, his refined comportment and modest table manners reinforced his host’s suspicion that he was a great Torah scholar.
When the meal ended, Rabbi Nathan asked his host to allow him to remain in the sukkah. Full of admiration, the host agreed, and did not even bother removing the silver serving dishes that were still on the table.
As soon as he was alone, Rabbi Nathan took a small Kabbalah book out of his pocket and was deeply engrossed in his learning. He was so absorbed in his study that he did not even hear a thief enter the sukkah and deftly remove all the valuable utensils from the table.
The host returned some time later and saw a table bereft of utensils and the stranger with his nose in a book.
“You cannot fool me!” he shouted at the surprised Rabbi Nathan. “You stole the silver, and now you cloak yourself in piety and pretend to be studying Kabbalah. Fess up and tell me where you put the dishes.”
Yet, as much as he was cajoled, threatened and begged, Rabbi Nathan had no idea where the silver was, and was certainly not about to admit to having stolen it.
Rabbi Nathan was then unceremoniously locked up in the town hekdesh, where he was told he would remain until he confessed his crime.
Rabbi Nathan was not concerned for his honor or about the discomfort of his confinement. His sole concern was how he would be able to fulfill the next morning’s mitzvah to make a blessing over the Four Kinds. He therefore stuck his head out of the small window of the hekdesh and begged passers-by to please bring him a lulav and etrog so that he could do the mitzvah.
Word spread, and even the rabbi of the town heard about the strange thief who shamelessly stole silver and studied Kabbalah and boldly asked that a lulav and etrog be brought to him.
Curious, he made his way to the hekdesh to observe the stranger, whom he immediately recognized as the runaway son-in-law described in the letter he had received from Krakow.
“Come with me,” he said, taking the young man with him to his private study. “The game is up. I know who you are. You’re the brilliant young man who ran away from Krakow. Your father-in-law is beside himself with grief. You must go home.”
Left with no choice, Rabbi Nathan admitted that the rabbi was right and told him of the chain of events that led him to leave home and take up the wanderer’s stick. The rabbi then left the study and assured his congregation that Rabbi Nathan was in no way a thief.
Later,, Rabbi Nathan told the rabbi that he saw the fact that his identity was discovered in such a shameful way as a sign from above that his penance was accepted, and that he was now ready to return home to his wife and family.
Profoundly impressed by his young acquaintance, the rabbi decided to accompany Rabbi Nathan back to Krakow.
On the way, they heard the news. The elderly rabbi of Krakow had passed away, and the city was looking for a new leader. The rabbi of Lublin suggested Rabbi Nathan as a most fitting candidate.
And so it was, at the age of 30, Rabbi Nathan Schapiro, who would one day be known far and wide as the author of the Megaleh Amukot, became the rabbi of the venerable city of Krakow.
Rabbi Menachem Posner serves as staff editor for Chabad.org.
Artwork by Sefira Ross, a freelance designer and illustrator whose original creations grace many Chabad.org pages. Residing in Seattle, Washington, her days are spent between multitasking illustrations and being a mom.© Copyright 2016, all rights reserved.
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Lifestyle
Edible (Non-Candy) Sukkahs by Miriam Szokovski
Did you know that the mitzvah of sukkah is one of the only mitzvahs we do with our entire body? When you enter into the sukkah, you are entirely surrounded by the mitzvah. While the building requirements for a real sukkah are quite specific, when it comes to food art there’s lots of room for variation.
I’m sure you’ve all seen the candy sukkah—typically graham cracker walls held together with marshmallow fluff, and green sour sticks for the sechach (greenery) on top. I’m excited to share some healthier versions, using real, simple food you might serve for breakfast, lunch of dinner.My ideas are just suggestions using foods you might normally eat together. Feel free to mix and match or come up with your own combinations. If you try out some different ones, leave a comment and share your idea with the rest of us.
Toast and Avocado
This is simply toasted bread, cut into sticks to resemble the boards of a sukkah. On top there is mashed avocado with salt and lemon juice, into which the toast can be dipped (or it can be spread).
Eggs and Cheesy Spinach
Another breakfasty one. Cook the eggs, then cut into a square using either a knife and a steady hand, or a square-shaped cookie cutter. Sauté some fresh spinach in olive oil or butter and salt, then melt a little cheese through it.
Tuna and Celery
Make some tuna, whichever way you like it. Plate it neatly in a square. You can do it carefully by hand, using a knife to straighten up the edges, or you can place a square cookie cutter on the plate, fill gently with tuna, press down with a fork and gently pick up the cutter. Top with crunchy celery rounds.
Carrots and Dill Dip
Carrot sticks and dip. I used (bought) dill dip, but spinach, avocado or olive dip would all work well too.
Mashed Potato and Green Beans
I prefer simple mashed potatoes—boiled potatoes, drained, mashed with salt and sometimes fried onion (fried onion not pictured)—but you can use your preferred method. Create a square using the same method. Top with blanched green beans. Instructions for perfectly cooked green beans here.
Chicken Fingers and Kale Chips
Have you tried kale chips? Some love ’em, some hate ’em. I’m still trying to get on board. But you can easily replace them with another type of green. To make basic kale chips, toss pieces of de-stemmed kale with a little olive oil and salt. Bake at 275° F for about 20 minutes. I love the leafy look they give this sukkah!The “walls” here are made out of chicken fingers. You can choose whether to bake or fry them. I baked mine at 400° F for about 20 minutes, but if they’re thicker you’ll need to keep them in for longer.
That’s it, folks. I leave the rest to your imaginations, and don’t forget to leave a comment sharing the great ideas you come up with.
Happy Sukkot!
Miriam Szokovski is the author of the historical novel Exiled Down Under, and a member of the Chabad.org editorial team. She shares her love of cooking, baking and food photography on Chabad.org’s food blog, Cook It Kosher.© Copyright 2016, all rights reserved.
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Lifestyle
Art: Jerusalem of Gold Mosaic By Naomi Young
Naomi Young was born and raised in Jerusalem, Israel. She is a graduate of Interior Design in Los Angeles. Jerusalem is a favorite topic for the multi faceted artist. Naomi paints in acrylics, oil and water. She is a mosaic artist, sculptor and published poet as well. She lives in Los Angeles.© Copyright 2016, all rights reserved.
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Chabad.org Magazine - Editor: Yanki Tauber
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