This one goes out to anyone who is awake in the middle of the night when they want to be sleeping. I do my best pondering in the wee hours. Deep thoughts, rabbit trails, ideas for meal plans and inventions (I swear I invented Red Box first. “They should make vending machines for movies,” I once thought. Hello!!!)Sometimes it’s a paranoia that I rehearse in the still of the dark. On better nights, I take a trip down memory lane. Often a thought or memory gets turned into a prayer or plea. (P.S. If you are wondering why so much activity of the nocturnal type? Just ask the nursing babe in the next room who PROBABLY COULD SLEEP THROUGH THE NIGHT IF SHE JUST TRIED A LITTLE HARDER.) But I digress.
Recently, there have been a few excursions into philosophical and theological corners of the universe. Boy, does that get tricky. When I turn to the problems of the world, I always end up at the issues of violence and abuse and slavery – contemplating the meaning of suffering, picturing those in the worst of conditions crying…bleeding…waiting for rescue…or death…
So when a line from the worship song “Always” popped into my head a few weeks ago, I chewed it up until I realized I had practically backed myself into a crisis of faith. Here it is:
“Oh my God, He will not delay; my refuge and strength always”
Really? He doesn’t delay? Ever? Because there are a few biblical accounts that seem to present a different story. In John 11, Jesus took his sweet time to comfort his best friends Mary and Martha when their brother Lazarus was dying. Both of the women basically accused him of causing them more pain because he showed up late. Ok, so he eventually raised Lazarus from the grave. But still. He seemed to be in no hurry about it.
And what about the Matthew 25 parables of the bridegroom and the wedding party waiting for his return? People are falling from exhaustion, and there is no mention of the bridegroom sending word about why things are taking so long. And Jesus says that’s about how it is with the coming kingdom of Heaven? Hmmm.
I thought about how many prayers are thrown up to God in other parts of scripture, pleading, “Do not delay! Help me! Save us!” If God never delays, then why are so many people asking for him to put on some speed?
After all, I could technically be called a “rescuer” according to my young children, and I make them wait all the time. Lord forgive me for all the times that I heard a cry in the other room, and yet stalled to finish an “urgent” text before I went to check on which kid was in the headlock. Or more seriously, for that one time that I was taking out the garbage and heard the crack of my toddler’s head when it hit the pavement as she tumbled down the porch steps behind me, and I KEPT GOING TOWARD THE DUMPSTER in some insane trance before it finally occurred to me to drop the bag and run to her, because the trash could wait.
The point is, my pondering about this line in the song left me unsure that I could hope in a God who delays unnecessarily. And yet, I can’t wrap my head around what kind of delay is necessary and justifiable for the Creator of the Universe (and of Time, for that matter). So which is it? Does he delay or not? Does he rescue the oppressed now or later? How bad does the distress need to get before he comes? In short, dear Jesus, WHERE ARE YOU, AND WHAT IS TAKING SO LONG???!!!
Back to the part where I was about to find this songwriter Kristian Stanfill and call him out on his heresy. In the more reasonable hours of the following afternoon, I googled the song line and realized he took it straight from scripture. (Oh. Whoops. As you were, Mr. Stanfill.)
I can still get my theological knickers in a wad at this dark mystery of the Delaying Rescuer. But there is more to the song, also straight from scripture – words not just meant to be considered. They are meant to be whispered and prayed and sung, and ultimately shouted like a rebel yell:
“My help is on the way!…His promise is true!…My God will come through, always!”
Let’s rally, midnight wonderers, for the sake of the ones who are waiting for rescue from their living nightmares. Let’s believe with our weary hearts that the longing is more than watching, and let’s see our faith turned to action through the Holy Spirit’s power. Let’s channel our own pleas for help into a holy Advent Hope, fueling our flickering lanterns with the oil of gladness, singing, “Never mind the delay…the Rescuer is on the way!”
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Throughout Advent, several Annesley writers will explore the theme of Jesus as our Rescuer. Have you been rescued? How have you seen this aspect of Jesus at work? When have you longed for rescue in your life or community?
Photo courtesy flickr user Jan Bommes
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