A Christian for a New World - Bishop John Shelby spong on the News and Christian Faith "Questions & Answers" for Thursday, 28 August 2014
Question &
Answer
Amy Villwock, via the Internet, writes:
Question:
An eight-year-old girl in my congregation has a father who has
cancer and will likely die soon. She told a family member that she knew her
father would not die because she was praying “really hard” to God. How would
you respond to this child?
Answer:
Dear Amy,
There is a considerable distinction between reality and desire.
This child is expressing her desire in very typical eight-year-old forms. At
the age of eight, one believes that one’s parents can do anything and God is
presented as a kind of parent figure with supernatural power. If one pleases
God like a child pleases the child’s parents, there is an assumed payoff,
i.e. the child gets the desire of his or her heart. Of course, life doesn’t
work that way, but superstition and religion both feed that mentality.
Christian liturgies are filled with unimaginative clichés: “Have mercy, O
God”; “reward us not according to our deserving, but according to your
gracious will.” In liturgy we act as if there is nothing working in our lives
to commend us to God and so we are taught to throw ourselves on God’s mercy.
This eight-year-old child is simply reflecting this permeating theology of
Christianity. Perhaps it made sense when our primary picture of God was that
of a super father or super parent, who lives above the sky, keeping record
books on our behavior up to date while rewarding the faithful and punishing
the wicked. If the church reflects this Santa Claus view of God, it should
surprise no one that one of our children reflects it. I suspect this child has
said this before and has been praised for her faith and faithfulness. What
can we do or say to keep this child from having a rough time when reality
moves into her fantasy world. She will survive. Most of us deal with reality
when we are forced by reality to do so.
In the long term, we must start by educating the adults who pass
on this theology to this eight year old child. The first lesson that adults
need to learn is that Christianity does not make one secure. It does not
create peace of mind amid the chaos of life. Christianity rather gives us the
courage to embrace the radical insecurity of life. It gives us the courage to
live creatively when there is no peace of mind, to continue putting one foot
in front of the other when chaos is the reality of our lives. No one escapes
the difficult times of life – not the righteous, the sacred or those who are
convinced they possess the true faith.
Love this child. Set up a relationship with her that is so
supportive and so honest that she may be able to give expression to her
fears, which are well repressed in one who believes that her prayers can
control the will of God.
I wish you well. Life is tough, there are no easy answers. That
is why Paul Tillich referred to the Christian life as having “the courage to
be.”
John Shelby Spong
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