Colossians 3:5 Therefore, put to death the earthly parts of your nature — sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed (which is a form of idolatry);
8 but now, put them all away — anger, exasperation, meanness, slander and obscene talk. 9 Never lie to one another; because you have stripped away the old self, with its ways,
12 Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with feelings of compassion and with kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. 13 Bear with one another; if anyone has a complaint against someone else, forgive him. Indeed, just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you must forgive.
14 Above all these, clothe yourselves with love, which binds everything together perfectly; 15 and let the shalom which comes from the Messiah be your heart’s decision-maker, for this is why you were called to be part of a single Body.
And be thankful — 16 let the Word of the Messiah, in all its richness, live in you, as you teach and counsel each other in all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude to God in your hearts. 17 That is, everything you do or say, do in the name of the Lord Yeshua, giving thanks through him to God the Father.
8 but now, put them all away — anger, exasperation, meanness, slander and obscene talk. 9 Never lie to one another; because you have stripped away the old self, with its ways,
12 Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with feelings of compassion and with kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. 13 Bear with one another; if anyone has a complaint against someone else, forgive him. Indeed, just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you must forgive.
14 Above all these, clothe yourselves with love, which binds everything together perfectly; 15 and let the shalom which comes from the Messiah be your heart’s decision-maker, for this is why you were called to be part of a single Body.
And be thankful — 16 let the Word of the Messiah, in all its richness, live in you, as you teach and counsel each other in all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude to God in your hearts. 17 That is, everything you do or say, do in the name of the Lord Yeshua, giving thanks through him to God the Father.
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Prayer Tip: Keys to a "Happily Ever After"
Daily Scripture
Colossians 3:5 Therefore, put to death the earthly parts of your nature — sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed (which is a form of idolatry);
8 but now, put them all away — anger, exasperation, meanness, slander and obscene talk. 9 Never lie to one another; because you have stripped away the old self, with its ways,
12 Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with feelings of compassion and with kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. 13 Bear with one another; if anyone has a complaint against someone else, forgive him. Indeed, just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you must forgive.
14 Above all these, clothe yourselves with love, which binds everything together perfectly; 15 and let the shalom which comes from the Messiah be your heart’s decision-maker, for this is why you were called to be part of a single Body.
And be thankful — 16 let the Word of the Messiah, in all its richness, live in you, as you teach and counsel each other in all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude to God in your hearts. 17 That is, everything you do or say, do in the name of the Lord Yeshua, giving thanks through him to God the Father.
Prayer Tip:
I read an article this week that was called, “Why It Doesn’t Matter How You Feel About Your Friends.” Obviously, it was a catchy title and I read the article. The point of the article was that it doesn’t matter how much you love or cherish your friends if they don’t know how much you love and cherish them. This goes for partners and spouses, too. It doesn’t matter if in your heart you are filled with admiration and love if you don’t show it and make it abundantly clear.
The article also talked about the importance of showing your kids, friends and partners how much you love them in a way they can understand. The prayer tip for this week is: talk about your relationships with God and ask him to show you new ways to express love for the people in your life. Spend some time in quiet reflection thanking God for the people in your life and ask him to bring to your attention ways you could love better and more fully those he has placed in your life.
Dear God,
Thank you for the gift of the people you have placed in my life. It is wonderful to have people to share this journey. Please keep my heart open and receptive to new ways to pay attention to their needs and meet them when I can. Bless me in words and actions this week as I work to wholeheartedly love those around me.[Ashly Cooley, Counseling & Support Ministries]
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"The 'Golden Rule' for relationships"
Monday, 1 May 2017
Matthew 7:9 Is there anyone here who, if his son asks him for a loaf of bread, will give him a stone? 10 or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? 11 So if you, even though you are bad, know how to give your children gifts that are good, how much more will your Father in heaven keep giving good things to those who keep asking him!
12 “Always treat others as you would like them to treat you; that sums up the teaching of the Torah and the Prophets.
13 “Go in through the narrow gate; for the gate that leads to destruction is wide and the road broad, and many travel it; 14 but it is a narrow gate and a hard road that leads to life, and only a few find it.
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In this passage, Jesus summed up the big ideas he taught in the Sermon on the Mount, including God’s wisdom about human relationships. He had told his hearers to love their enemies, be honest, show mercy and more. Those were not separate, individual rules. They expressed the great principle of treating others as God treats us, and as we wish others would treat us.
• In law, business or politics (and sometimes marriage), we most often hear the idea that we ought to treat people according to what they deserve. But Jesus spoke of treating people as God treats us—with grace and generosity. What good things can happen in a marriage or a home if love and grace replace “deserving” to guide us in mutual love and sharing?
• Prayer: Lord Jesus, help me to live less and less in “demand” mode, and more and more in line with your teaching. Help me to treat others in just the ways I wish they’d treat me. Amen.
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Melanie Hill
Melanie Hill is the Guest Connections Program Director at Resurrection.
My husband and I just celebrated our 17th wedding anniversary. I don’t know about men, but I am willing to bet that most women spend a little part of each anniversary thinking back to their wedding day. After all, we spent months and months planning the day (not to mention all the time we spent dreaming about it as kids). On my anniversary, I often look at the clock and think, “At this time 17 years ago I was getting my hair done” or “taking pictures with my bridesmaids” or “getting ready to walk down the aisle.” I remember how at the end of the day my cheeks physically hurt from all my smiling. I remember how my new husband spent 40 minutes taking out all the hair pins that had cemented my hair into the perfect “carefree up do.”
What I rarely spend as much time thinking about is the pre-marital counseling we received. Which is unfortunate, because that, more than any of the planning for the perfect day, helped us get to 17 years. A good friend led us through some pre-marital counseling. We learned practices for how to have a good clean fight. We spent time talking about our expectations for marriage. We worked on a budget (still working on that one). We talked about our family history and the baggage each of us brought to the relationship--and much, much more. The one insight that still sticks out to me the most, though, was that marriage is hard work. I remember hearing that I had to wake up every day and decide if I would make my marriage better or worse that day. There isn’t a "neutral," and this is important because once we started a family it became harder and harder to find the energy and time to work on my marriage every day. Suddenly these little people needed my undivided attention. Jobs became more demanding, and quite often I don't get more than 5 minutes of conversation with my husband in a day, usually as we’re both drifting off to sleep.
While life has demanded more of my time and energy, the amount of work I need to put into my marriage has not changed. It’s just become harder to make it a priority. I’ve found that there are a great many things in my days that I have no control over, but one thing I do have control over is how I respond to situations. And this is often where the daily work of marriage becomes reality. Growing up my mom used to drill Proverbs 15:1 into us: “A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare.” As you can imagine in a house with four little people and two full time working parents, there are times when tempers flare up. Daily. (Sometimes hourly.) I’ve noticed that the more tired or stressed out I am the harder it is to respond in a gentle way to my spouse. I’ve also noticed that when I make the effort to respond gently instead of with sarcasm or snarky comments, something beautiful happens. All the pent-up stress, frustration, sleep deprivation, and anger start to melt away.
A few weeks ago, I was home with my husband and feeling stressed out. He asked me a simple question, and I responded in, let’s just say, a less-than-loving way. He quoted a line from the classic relationship movie “Three Amigos,” in which Jefe asked El Guapo, “Could it be that once again, you are angry at something else, and are looking to take it out on me?” with perfect pitch and accent. Instantly we were both laughing. My husband blessed me in that moment, and I was reminded how important the way I respond to things is. Instead of choosing a response that would only ratchet up our tensions, he chose to defuse the situation.
At this stage in life I can only control to some extent the "crazy" that is our family. I fully accept that it is going to be a while before I have as much time with my husband as before we had kids. And that’s okay. I can, however, choose to daily make my marriage better by choosing to respond in gentleness, love and sometimes humor even when we're tired and stressed out. And sometimes, just that little effort can make a huge difference.
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"Christ’s model of self-giving love"
Tuesday, 2 May 2017
Ephesians 5:21 Submit to one another in fear of the Messiah. 22 Wives should submit to their husbands as they do to the Lord; 23 because the husband is head of the wife, just as the Messiah, as head of the Messianic Community, is himself the one who keeps the body safe. 24 Just as the Messianic Community submits to the Messiah, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
25 As for husbands, love your wives, just as the Messiah loved the Messianic Community, indeed, gave himself up on its behalf, 26 in order to set it apart for God, making it clean through immersion in the mikveh, so to speak, 27 in order to present the Messianic Community to himself as a bride to be proud of, without a spot, wrinkle or any such thing, but holy and without defect. 28 This is how husbands ought to love their wives — like their own bodies; for the man who loves his wife is loving himself. 29 Why, no one ever hated his own flesh! On the contrary, he feeds it well and takes care of it, just as the Messiah does the Messianic Community, 30 because we are parts of his Body. 31 “Therefore a man will leave his father and mother and remain with his wife, and the two will become one.”[Ephesians 5:31 Genesis 2:24] 32 There is profound truth hidden here, which I say concerns the Messiah and the Messianic Community. 33 However, the text also applies to each of you individually: let each man love his wife as he does himself, and see that the wife respects her husband.
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“Submit” is a loaded word today, often seen as “abject.” In Paul’s day, Greek, Roman and Hebrew cultures took it as a given that women submitted to men. Scholar N. T. Wright wrote, “Paul has a quite different way of going about addressing the problem of gender roles. He insists that the husband should take as his role model, not the typical bossy or bullying male of the modern, or indeed the ancient, stereotype, but Jesus himself…. If husbands—not least Christian husbands!— had even attempted to live up to this wonderful ideal, there would be a lot less grumbling about bossy or bullying men in the world today.” * Read as a whole, this passage set a high standard of mutual love and respect for both partners in any marriage.
• What do you believe it meant for a husband to love his wife “just like Christ loved the church and gave himself for her”? “Love” (Greek agape) meant intentionally chosen attitudes and actions, not an emotional state that came and went. How did this command compare with the “lord of the manor” image many husbands then (and now) held? How did this image challenge husbands to act when their wives’ needs called for them to give up some of their own comfort or power?
• Although in spots the New Testament echoed some standard cultural language, it never spoke to only one partner in a relationship. Ephesians 5:21 said, “Submit to each other.” However we understand it, “submission” was a mutual duty, not something only a wife gave while the husband took. (The same was true, by the way, for parents and children.) How have you seen mutual “submission” work in healthy marriages?
Prayer: Lord Jesus, you washed the feet of stubborn disciples. You asked God to forgive Roman soldiers executing you. Help me in all relationships, especially the closest ones, to be a person growing more like you each day. Amen.
* N. T. Wright, Paul for Everyone: The Prison Letters. Louisville: Westminster John Knox Press, 2004, pp. 67-68.
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Randy Greene
Randy Greene is a part of the Communications team at the Church of the Resurrection. He helps develop and maintain the church's family of websites. He is also a student at Central Baptist Theological Seminary and loves to write stories about faith for his blog.
My wife has a bad habit of having horrible timing. It’s almost like she plans it. Every night before I go to bed, I grab the water glass from my bedside table and take it all the way downstairs to refill it. When I get back to the bedroom, Shannon sees my full glass of water and realizes that her own glass is empty. Batting her eyes, she holds her glass up to me. “Since I’m in bed already, would you mind getting me some water, too?”
Seriously. I am five seconds away from crawling into the nice, warm bed and she wants me to go all the way back downstairs to get her a glass of water - despite the fact that she could have asked me two minutes ago and I would have happily done it all in one trip.
So how do I respond?
I wish I could tell you that I smile back at her, tell her that she is beautiful, and fill up her glass with water as I fill her spirit with affection. But we all know how this story actually ends, right? Instead of taking care of my wife, I get angry and roll my eyes, harumphing until she gets out of bed and says she’ll get her own water. Then I whisper under my breath, “Thank goodness,” and crawl into bed.
Basically, I fail to care for my wife. Every night. When she gives me an opportunity to demonstrate my love to her, I glare and tell her that she’s not good enough for me to make an extra trip up and down the stairs. This is not the way of Christ. This is not the way of mutual submission.
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This story is one simple example of how I can do a better job of submitting to my wife, but the act of submission is not easy to put into practice. Submitting to one another is hard, and it’s risky. It requires an incredible amount of trust in your partner because you open yourself up to being exploited. It involves laying your life down at the foot of the cross, just as Christ laid his life down for us.
There are times and situations where mutual submission is not a healthy option for one reason or another, and I don’t think Paul intended this text as a prescription to live in abusive or manipulative relationships. But when a couple is able to truly submit to one another - to put the other’s needs and well-being before their own - the result is often a beautiful, life-filled relationship.
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"What we take off, what we put on"
Wednesday, 3 May 2017
Colossians 3:5 Therefore, put to death the earthly parts of your nature — sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed (which is a form of idolatry); 6 for it is because of these things that God’s anger is coming on those who disobey him. 7 True enough, you used to practice these things in the life you once lived; 8 but now, put them all away — anger, exasperation, meanness, slander and obscene talk. 9 Never lie to one another; because you have stripped away the old self, with its ways, 10 and have put on the new self, which is continually being renewed in fuller and fuller knowledge, closer and closer to the image of its Creator. 11 The new self allows no room for discriminating between Gentile and Jew, circumcised and uncircumcised, foreigner, savage, slave, free man; on the contrary, in all, the Messiah is everything.
12 Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with feelings of compassion and with kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. 13 Bear with one another; if anyone has a complaint against someone else, forgive him. Indeed, just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you must forgive.
14 Above all these, clothe yourselves with love, which binds everything together perfectly; 15 and let the shalom which comes from the Messiah be your heart’s decision-maker, for this is why you were called to be part of a single Body.
And be thankful — 16 let the Word of the Messiah, in all its richness, live in you, as you teach and counsel each other in all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude to God in your hearts. 17 That is, everything you do or say, do in the name of the Lord Yeshua, giving thanks through him to God the Father.
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The apostle Paul used changing our clothes (something we do often) as an image for choosing a new life in Christ. He listed ten hurtful qualities Christ-followers should “take off” (verses 5, 8), and six helpful qualities we can “put on” (verses 12, 14). The image didn’t mean changing is quick and easy, otherwise we wouldn’t need verse 13 about forgiveness. But it did suggest that inner spiritual changes show in our visible behaviors.
• “Put on compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Be tolerant with each other and, if someone has a complaint…, forgive each other. As the Lord forgave you, so also forgive each other. And over all these things put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity.” How often do you live that way in your most valued relationships? If you fail to “put on” this way of life, what blocks you? Get counseling help if you need it, and let God go to work in your life.
• Whatever innate “niceness” we think we have will not, by itself, produce these changes. “This life reflects [the Colossians] identity as the loved, forgiven, reconciled people of God in Christ.” * In what ways is God’s love, forgiveness and reconciliation shaping your life today? In what ways do you see your treatment of others reflecting God’s treatment of you?
Prayer: Lord God, thank you for loving and forgiving me. As you draw me closer to you, help me keep learning how to draw nearer to others, especially those to whom I have made loving commitments. Amen.
* J. R. Daniel Kirk, study note on Colossians 3:12-17 in The CEB Study Bible. Nashville: Abingdon Press, 2013, p. 386 NT.
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Kari Burgess
Kari's responsibilities on the ShareChurch team include marketing, guest registration and service, and coordinating hospitality volunteers for the conferences we host at Resurrection.
She enjoys running and hiking and loves being a cheerleader for her girls at all of their sporting, music and school events.
She considers it a joy to serve in ministry at Resurrection, using her gifts and skills gained in the corporate world toward the purpose of renewing God's church.As I was thinking about this past weekend’s sermon on The Keys to Happily Ever After, I couldn’t help but think of my parents and the model of a strong marriage they have provided my husband and me.
My parents met when my mom was 14 and my dad was 15 at 4-H camp in southwestern Iowa. (How cute is that!) They lived about 30 minutes apart, dated through their high school years and were married after their first year of college. 3 kids, 8 grandkids and 53 years later, they are still going strong. Growing up I can remember hearing the anecdotes about how they met, adventures when they were dating and hardships of those early years of marriage.
How might I (and our Insights readers) learn something from Mom and Dad’s marriage when looking through the lens of today's Scripture from Colossians? As I see it, my parents reflect Paul’s plea to the Colossians to treat each other with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience (at least much of the time). And when they are not reflecting these virtues, they reflect Paul’s plea for tolerance of each other and forgiveness. (We all need a little tolerance and forgiveness. Amen??)
Mom talks about the importance of acknowledging and complimenting accomplishments, particularly on little things. For instance, Dad isn’t known for being handy--in fact, quite the opposite. So if he figures out how to fix something, Mom makes sure to acknowledge it. She also said it’s just as important to know when NOT to say something, to bite your tongue and keep a harsh word to yourself. In these instances, Mom exhibits the virtues of gentleness and kindness (and maybe a little tolerance when it comes to fixing things!)
For Dad’s part, I noticed today how he took Mom’s arm as she walked down the bleacher stairs at my daughter’s soccer game. He is sure to be the one to walk on the sidewalk nearest the street or step in to take a heavy load from her arms. He pays attention to details and blesses her by these small acts. Dad has always been compassionate and humble.
As natural as these practices seem to be for them most of the time, I imagine it took time to cultivate these virtues. I’m sure there are times they must make a conscious effort to practice these things. And some virtues come easier than others. I know these things to be true for my husband and me, and likely for most of us. As Pastor Adam teaches frequently, the agape love today’s Scripture is speaking about is a love where you practice these virtues even when you don’t feel like it.
Perhaps the most important analogy about marriage I heard from my parents when we talked this week is this:
Some people say a marriage should be 50/50, that each person in the relationship should give equally or put in half the effort. But they said this is simply not realistic. There are times when one person is only able to give 20 percent. Whether the contribution is emotional, financial, physical, spiritual, the other person in the marriage (or relationship) needs to be willing to make up the other 80 percent. If one partner is down due to an illness, the other partner steps up to take care of them and the needs of the household. If one partner is struggling emotionally, the other partner needs to compensate and give more in the relationship during that period. And when neither partner is giving enough to add up to 100 percent, then perhaps there is some work to be done together. This is a representation of a true partnership. I’m sure the analogy breaks down at some point, but you get the picture.
Mom and Dad’s marriage has been an adventure over the years. Is it perfect? No. Do they always live out the characteristics from Colossians, being compassionate, kind, humble, gentle and patient with each other? Of course not. But they do set these virtues as their goal, and when they find themselves missing the mark with each other, they work to reset. My husband and I have been blessed by the example they have set for us about how to weather the storms and make marriage a partnership, with plenty of give and take. In fact, we are blessed have an amazing example of marriage from both sets of parents. My in-laws celebrate their 50thanniversary next year. (Perhaps I’ll have the opportunity to share their story in another Insights blog!)
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"Beautiful relationships, guided by the Spirit"
Thursday, 4 May 2017
Galatians 5:22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 humility, self control. Nothing in the Torah stands against such things.
24 Moreover, those who belong to the Messiah Yeshua have put their old nature to death on the stake, along with its passions and desires. 25 Since it is through the Spirit that we have Life, let it also be through the Spirit that we order our lives day by day.
26 Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other.
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To the churches in Galatia, the apostle Paul listed key qualities God offers to grow in us: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Who wouldn’t want those qualities in a spouse, a date, a friend or a co-worker? Paul gave the Holy Spirit center stage, emphasizing how God’s relationship with us infuses and directs all parts of our life.
• Paul clearly believed that God’s people could depend on the guidance of the Holy Spirit. Yet the Spirit seldom confronts us with flashing billboards--his guidance usually reaches us in quiet, subtle ways. What steps can you (and your partner in any close relationship) take to keep your spiritual “ears” open to the Spirit’s direction? (For a readable list of helpful spiritual practices, click here.)
• Reflect on the qualities Paul called “the fruit of the Spirit” in verses 22-23. Which of them most appeal to you, and seem to come most naturally? Which of them do you find that you struggle with the most? How do you believe the qualities with which you struggle would deepen and enrich your closest relationships?
Prayer: Holy Spirit, plant your fruit in my heart, and teach me how to be good soil in which that fruit can flourish. Let me be a person who gifts others with love, joy and peace. Amen.
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Janelle Gregory
Janelle Gregory serves on the Resurrection staff as a Human Resources Specialist. Janelle finds that her heart is constantly wrestling with the truth that she needs a Savior, and the times when she's at her very best are when she's just too tired to put up a fight.
Anyone can read this post, but I'd like to specifically speak to those who are unmarried and looking to date or in a dating relationship.
While I'm only 9.5 years into married-life (which is the equivalent of 40 Hollywood married-life years), I have learned a few things about love and marriage. Don't get me wrong, I know I still have plenty to learn (I’m sure my husband would agree). But if I could, I would love to offer up one piece of advice: choose a mate who not only shares your faith, but encourages and challenges you to grow in it. I can't emphasize this enough. There are plenty of qualities to look for in a spouse, but I would not only put this at the top, I would make it a non-negotiable.
These are a few reasons why:
What I am saying is that in my experience, being married to a person who is on the same page as me spiritually, makes me a stronger Christian and makes our marriage stronger and deeper too. When you’re considering dating or marrying a person, you may want them to be smart, funny, good-looking, or kind or you may want them to share your same interests. Those are all fine reasons to choose someone. But here’s what I’ll say – I am not interested in all the same things I was 10 years ago, are you? Looks fade over time, and nobody is kind ALL of the time. The most consistent and significant part of who we are is found in our relationship with God. By saying “until death do us part” with someone who loves Jesus as much as you do, you’ll see your faith grow and your marriage flourish in ways you can’t imagine.
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"The peaceful results of focusing on the good"
Friday, 5 May 2017
Philippians 4:4 Rejoice in union with the Lord always! I will say it again: rejoice! 5 Let everyone see how reasonable and gentle you are. The Lord is near! 6 Don’t worry about anything; on the contrary, make your requests known to God by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving. 7 Then God’s shalom, passing all understanding, will keep your hearts and minds safe in union with the Messiah Yeshua. 8 In conclusion, brothers, focus your thoughts on what is true, noble, righteous, pure, lovable or admirable, on some virtue or on something praiseworthy. 9 Keep doing what you have learned and received from me, what you have heard and seen me doing; then the God who gives shalom will be with you.
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Paul talked about gladness, gentleness, an absence of anxiety, a spirit of gratitude and a deep, abiding peace in these verses. But these things didn’t just happen by themselves—Paul ended by saying “practice these things.” We become strong Christians by choosing to direct our thoughts and our actions toward our God, who promised us rich spiritual and relational rewards.
• “Let your gentleness show in your treatment of all people,” Paul wrote (verse 5). Various marriage counselors have noted the sad irony that many people treat strangers or casual acquaintances far more gently than they do their spouse or children. How’s you r gentleness quotient toward “all people”? How is it toward those to whom you are closest?
• Verse 6 reads, “Don’t be anxious about anything; rather bring up all of your requests to God in your prayers and petitions, along with giving thanks.” Do you pray regularly about your closest relationships? Are you at ease talking with God about whatever is on your mind in that area of life? Do you give thanks for those you love, and who love you?
Prayer: God, you created me (like all humans) to be in relationships. Fill me with the qualities that will make me a blessing to everyone, and especially to those I love the most. Amen.
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Darren Lippe
Darren Lippe helps facilitate Journey 101 “Loving God” classes, guides a 7th-grade Sunday school class, is a member of a small group and a men’s group, and serves on the curriculum team.
Pondering Paul’s charge for us to be gentle & civil as we deal with one another, I ran across this “interview transcript:”
[Deep Voiceover: This is QPN – The Quill Pen Network]
QPN: We are continuing our interview with our guest, Mr. Alexander Hamilton. You were talking about relationships & getting along with others.
AH: Well, people forget that during the formative years of our nation, there was a great deal of arguing & quarreling amongst the political leaders like Thomas Jefferson, James Monroe, James Madison & myself. Libel, slander, & even spying were all considered fair play. That’s why we wrote the Federalist Papers anonymously, to avoid tainting support for the Constitution.
QPN: Ah yes, The Federalist Papers. We are coming onto an ad break, in 60 seconds could you summarize them for us?
AH: Um, there were 85 articles & essays, I don’t think I could possibly…
[Ad: When things go wrong, use Pioneer Insurance’s Name-Your-Price-Tool & in 15 minutes or less you’ll be back in good hands.]
QPN: And we are back. So, in this malicious environment, how did our nation even get started?
AH: I would submit we were fortunate to have George Washington as President of the Constitutional Convention. (He was unanimously elected.) He prioritized establishing & maintaining relationships every day. As a 16-year-old, he came across a Jesuit collection of rules on morals & good manners, which he used as a basis for his hand-written list of 110 “Rules of Civility & Decent Behavior in Company & Conversation.” Here is a paraphrase of some of my favorites:
When in the company of others, refrain from reading letters, books or papers.
AH: First, I would submit a key to developing & maintaining relationships is grace. If we expect, or worse yet, demand perfection in others, we will always be disappointed.
Secondly, our descendents will undoubtedly think less of my era for our mistaken views & opinions, just like we chided the generations before us. It should also be noted that every generation, even those 250 years from now, will likewise be rebuked by their descendants for their own “How could they think this?” ideas. This is as it should be. Hopefully, each generation, by standing on the admittedly imperfect shoulders of their ancestors, will be able to conquer even greater heights as we all strive to restore God’s Paradise.
QPN: You know, Mr. Hamilton, I think your own life would make a fascinating story some day – maybe even a musical production.
AH: Ha! I’ll bet you a $10 dollar bill that my name will be forgotten years from now. Whoa. I have to run. I’m supposed to have breakfast with Aaron Burr.
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"What God-given love looks like"
Saturday, 6 May 2017
1 Corinthians 13:4 Love is patient and kind, not jealous, not boastful,
5 not proud, rude or selfish, not easily angered,
and it keeps no record of wrongs.
6 Love does not gloat over other people’s sins
but takes its delight in the truth.
7 Love always bears up, always trusts,
always hopes, always endures.
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Love “doesn’t keep a record of complaints” is a difficult ideal, maybe even impossible to live fully in this life. Paul was aware of that: “We know in part,” he went on to write in verse 9. But the ideals for which we aim matter. You can see where unchecked “keeping a record of complaints” leads by looking at Palestinians and Israelis and dozens of other warring ethnic groups. But you don’t need to study tragic world events. You need only look at thousands of broken relationships to see what happens when “score-keeping” replaces love and trust.
• How do the other qualities of love Paul listed shape a relationship in which keeping no record of complaints becomes a realistic, joy-filled way to live? In which, if any, of your day-to-day relationships are you able to readily and easily live out most of the qualities of love that Paul listed? In which relationships is it a struggle to show these qualities, even with gritted teeth? What marriage(s) have you seen that seemed to come close to living out these ideals? What intentional choices and positive actions helped those couples live into mutual support and respect?
Prayer: Lord Jesus, you walked among as genuine love incarnate. Help my understanding of love to grow beyond the sentimentalism my culture often confuses with love, and to be a robust force making every life I touch better. Amen.
Family Activity: Treating one another with patience and kindness can be difficult in relationships of any kind. Read Matthew 7:12[Matthew 7:12 “Always treat others as you would like them to treat you; that sums up the teaching of the Torah and the Prophets.]. This Scripture is often called the Golden Rule. Hand out an index card to each person in your family. Have each person write, “I did or said something kind” on one side of the card. On the other side write, “I did or said something hurtful.” Ask each person to pay attention to their words and actions each day. Encourage them to place a mark on the appropriate side of the card each time they do something kind or hurtful. No one else needs to see the cards. These are just for each individual and God. Each day, work toward having fewer marks on the “hurtful” side and more marks on the “kind” side. Pray for God’s help to treat one another with patience and kindness.
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Mike Ash
Mike Ash is the worship leader and Director of Community Life at Resurrection's Blue Springs location.
1 Corinthians 13 is one of the most recognizable passages from the Bible. It is often read at weddings and hung on walls in old picture frames with the words stitched with red thread. (At least that’s where I remember first reading it in my grandmother's kitchen.)
I don’t remember who was teaching Sunday school one day, but I vividly remember them replacing “love” with “God” in this passage. It suddenly made God real and alive to me. The idea that God is patient and not irritable, that he puts up with all things and hopes the best was stunning to me. As a young child I had a healthy fear of God. I pictured him with a massive grey beard, pretty ticked off because we were all selfish and kept breaking his rules.
When I was eight I got a BB gun for Christmas. I was really excited, and couldn’t wait for my cousins to come over and shoot some cans. Earlier I had heard dad talking about covering the barn windows with plastic. So when my cousins finally arrived we shot some cans, and then I had the idea to shoot out the barn windows since dad was going to cover them up anyway! I’ll never forget telling dad at dinner that night that I had taken care of the barn window for him! As he explained my mistake to me, he could see my pain and embarrassment as he expressed his disappointment. He told me I would lose my BB gun for awhile--but it would be okay, and I would have to help him cover the barn windows. I learned a big lesson by the way my father responded with patience, restraint and hoping the best.
I wonder what the world would be like if we treated one another as Corinthians 13 describes. Being patient when we’re driving--especially if we’re behind someone slow or they cut us off in traffic! Being kind to each other, remembering that we never know what someone may be going through. Refusing to be jealous, resisting the temptation to brag, not being arrogant. Never being rude to anyone but especially to those we’re closest with. In Matthew 16, Jesus told his disciples, If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. The cross Jesus carried was a symbol of loving sacrifice, and this is the cross that he says we must carry. As we carry our cross of love into the world let us demonstrate God’s love, patience and hope to all we meet.
Prayer: Lord Jesus, you demonstrated sacrificial love as you walked among us, and ultimately on the cross. Fill me with your spirit and help me be a conduit of your love and grace to everyone one I meet today. Amen.
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Prayer Requests – cor.org/prayer Prayers for Peace & Comfort for:
• Joline Murphy and family on the death of her brother George Pirth, 4/22
•Norma Marshall and family on the death of her brother-in-law Dean McMahon, 4/22
•Dave Turnbull and family on the death of his stepmother Betty Turnbull, 4/22
•Stephanie Smith and family on the death of her uncle William “Bill” Bullard, 4/20
• John Grant and family on the death of his father John Grant, Sr., 4/19
•Cheri Rappe and family on the death of her mother Lou Love, 4/18
•Trilla Ray-Carter and family on the death of her brother David Ray, 4/18
•Bob Myers and family on the death of his brother Lloyd R. Myers, 4/17
•Chris Ratigan and family on the death of his mother Pamela Ratigan, 4/15
•Gay Scholz and family on the death of her mother Wilma Pruden, 4/10
•Roger Volk and family on the death of his sister Eleanor “Sissy” Hardin, 4/3
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Prayer Tip: Keys to a "Happily Ever After"
Daily Scripture
Colossians 3:5 Therefore, put to death the earthly parts of your nature — sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed (which is a form of idolatry);
8 but now, put them all away — anger, exasperation, meanness, slander and obscene talk. 9 Never lie to one another; because you have stripped away the old self, with its ways,
12 Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with feelings of compassion and with kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. 13 Bear with one another; if anyone has a complaint against someone else, forgive him. Indeed, just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you must forgive.
14 Above all these, clothe yourselves with love, which binds everything together perfectly; 15 and let the shalom which comes from the Messiah be your heart’s decision-maker, for this is why you were called to be part of a single Body.
And be thankful — 16 let the Word of the Messiah, in all its richness, live in you, as you teach and counsel each other in all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude to God in your hearts. 17 That is, everything you do or say, do in the name of the Lord Yeshua, giving thanks through him to God the Father.
Prayer Tip:
I read an article this week that was called, “Why It Doesn’t Matter How You Feel About Your Friends.” Obviously, it was a catchy title and I read the article. The point of the article was that it doesn’t matter how much you love or cherish your friends if they don’t know how much you love and cherish them. This goes for partners and spouses, too. It doesn’t matter if in your heart you are filled with admiration and love if you don’t show it and make it abundantly clear.
The article also talked about the importance of showing your kids, friends and partners how much you love them in a way they can understand. The prayer tip for this week is: talk about your relationships with God and ask him to show you new ways to express love for the people in your life. Spend some time in quiet reflection thanking God for the people in your life and ask him to bring to your attention ways you could love better and more fully those he has placed in your life.
Dear God,
Thank you for the gift of the people you have placed in my life. It is wonderful to have people to share this journey. Please keep my heart open and receptive to new ways to pay attention to their needs and meet them when I can. Bless me in words and actions this week as I work to wholeheartedly love those around me.[Ashly Cooley, Counseling & Support Ministries]
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"The 'Golden Rule' for relationships"
Monday, 1 May 2017
Matthew 7:9 Is there anyone here who, if his son asks him for a loaf of bread, will give him a stone? 10 or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? 11 So if you, even though you are bad, know how to give your children gifts that are good, how much more will your Father in heaven keep giving good things to those who keep asking him!
12 “Always treat others as you would like them to treat you; that sums up the teaching of the Torah and the Prophets.
13 “Go in through the narrow gate; for the gate that leads to destruction is wide and the road broad, and many travel it; 14 but it is a narrow gate and a hard road that leads to life, and only a few find it.
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In this passage, Jesus summed up the big ideas he taught in the Sermon on the Mount, including God’s wisdom about human relationships. He had told his hearers to love their enemies, be honest, show mercy and more. Those were not separate, individual rules. They expressed the great principle of treating others as God treats us, and as we wish others would treat us.
• In law, business or politics (and sometimes marriage), we most often hear the idea that we ought to treat people according to what they deserve. But Jesus spoke of treating people as God treats us—with grace and generosity. What good things can happen in a marriage or a home if love and grace replace “deserving” to guide us in mutual love and sharing?
• Prayer: Lord Jesus, help me to live less and less in “demand” mode, and more and more in line with your teaching. Help me to treat others in just the ways I wish they’d treat me. Amen.
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Melanie HillMelanie Hill is the Guest Connections Program Director at Resurrection.
My husband and I just celebrated our 17th wedding anniversary. I don’t know about men, but I am willing to bet that most women spend a little part of each anniversary thinking back to their wedding day. After all, we spent months and months planning the day (not to mention all the time we spent dreaming about it as kids). On my anniversary, I often look at the clock and think, “At this time 17 years ago I was getting my hair done” or “taking pictures with my bridesmaids” or “getting ready to walk down the aisle.” I remember how at the end of the day my cheeks physically hurt from all my smiling. I remember how my new husband spent 40 minutes taking out all the hair pins that had cemented my hair into the perfect “carefree up do.”
What I rarely spend as much time thinking about is the pre-marital counseling we received. Which is unfortunate, because that, more than any of the planning for the perfect day, helped us get to 17 years. A good friend led us through some pre-marital counseling. We learned practices for how to have a good clean fight. We spent time talking about our expectations for marriage. We worked on a budget (still working on that one). We talked about our family history and the baggage each of us brought to the relationship--and much, much more. The one insight that still sticks out to me the most, though, was that marriage is hard work. I remember hearing that I had to wake up every day and decide if I would make my marriage better or worse that day. There isn’t a "neutral," and this is important because once we started a family it became harder and harder to find the energy and time to work on my marriage every day. Suddenly these little people needed my undivided attention. Jobs became more demanding, and quite often I don't get more than 5 minutes of conversation with my husband in a day, usually as we’re both drifting off to sleep.
While life has demanded more of my time and energy, the amount of work I need to put into my marriage has not changed. It’s just become harder to make it a priority. I’ve found that there are a great many things in my days that I have no control over, but one thing I do have control over is how I respond to situations. And this is often where the daily work of marriage becomes reality. Growing up my mom used to drill Proverbs 15:1 into us: “A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare.” As you can imagine in a house with four little people and two full time working parents, there are times when tempers flare up. Daily. (Sometimes hourly.) I’ve noticed that the more tired or stressed out I am the harder it is to respond in a gentle way to my spouse. I’ve also noticed that when I make the effort to respond gently instead of with sarcasm or snarky comments, something beautiful happens. All the pent-up stress, frustration, sleep deprivation, and anger start to melt away.
A few weeks ago, I was home with my husband and feeling stressed out. He asked me a simple question, and I responded in, let’s just say, a less-than-loving way. He quoted a line from the classic relationship movie “Three Amigos,” in which Jefe asked El Guapo, “Could it be that once again, you are angry at something else, and are looking to take it out on me?” with perfect pitch and accent. Instantly we were both laughing. My husband blessed me in that moment, and I was reminded how important the way I respond to things is. Instead of choosing a response that would only ratchet up our tensions, he chose to defuse the situation.
At this stage in life I can only control to some extent the "crazy" that is our family. I fully accept that it is going to be a while before I have as much time with my husband as before we had kids. And that’s okay. I can, however, choose to daily make my marriage better by choosing to respond in gentleness, love and sometimes humor even when we're tired and stressed out. And sometimes, just that little effort can make a huge difference.
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"Christ’s model of self-giving love"
Tuesday, 2 May 2017
Ephesians 5:21 Submit to one another in fear of the Messiah. 22 Wives should submit to their husbands as they do to the Lord; 23 because the husband is head of the wife, just as the Messiah, as head of the Messianic Community, is himself the one who keeps the body safe. 24 Just as the Messianic Community submits to the Messiah, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
25 As for husbands, love your wives, just as the Messiah loved the Messianic Community, indeed, gave himself up on its behalf, 26 in order to set it apart for God, making it clean through immersion in the mikveh, so to speak, 27 in order to present the Messianic Community to himself as a bride to be proud of, without a spot, wrinkle or any such thing, but holy and without defect. 28 This is how husbands ought to love their wives — like their own bodies; for the man who loves his wife is loving himself. 29 Why, no one ever hated his own flesh! On the contrary, he feeds it well and takes care of it, just as the Messiah does the Messianic Community, 30 because we are parts of his Body. 31 “Therefore a man will leave his father and mother and remain with his wife, and the two will become one.”[Ephesians 5:31 Genesis 2:24] 32 There is profound truth hidden here, which I say concerns the Messiah and the Messianic Community. 33 However, the text also applies to each of you individually: let each man love his wife as he does himself, and see that the wife respects her husband.
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“Submit” is a loaded word today, often seen as “abject.” In Paul’s day, Greek, Roman and Hebrew cultures took it as a given that women submitted to men. Scholar N. T. Wright wrote, “Paul has a quite different way of going about addressing the problem of gender roles. He insists that the husband should take as his role model, not the typical bossy or bullying male of the modern, or indeed the ancient, stereotype, but Jesus himself…. If husbands—not least Christian husbands!— had even attempted to live up to this wonderful ideal, there would be a lot less grumbling about bossy or bullying men in the world today.” * Read as a whole, this passage set a high standard of mutual love and respect for both partners in any marriage.
• What do you believe it meant for a husband to love his wife “just like Christ loved the church and gave himself for her”? “Love” (Greek agape) meant intentionally chosen attitudes and actions, not an emotional state that came and went. How did this command compare with the “lord of the manor” image many husbands then (and now) held? How did this image challenge husbands to act when their wives’ needs called for them to give up some of their own comfort or power?
• Although in spots the New Testament echoed some standard cultural language, it never spoke to only one partner in a relationship. Ephesians 5:21 said, “Submit to each other.” However we understand it, “submission” was a mutual duty, not something only a wife gave while the husband took. (The same was true, by the way, for parents and children.) How have you seen mutual “submission” work in healthy marriages?
Prayer: Lord Jesus, you washed the feet of stubborn disciples. You asked God to forgive Roman soldiers executing you. Help me in all relationships, especially the closest ones, to be a person growing more like you each day. Amen.
* N. T. Wright, Paul for Everyone: The Prison Letters. Louisville: Westminster John Knox Press, 2004, pp. 67-68.
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Randy GreeneRandy Greene is a part of the Communications team at the Church of the Resurrection. He helps develop and maintain the church's family of websites. He is also a student at Central Baptist Theological Seminary and loves to write stories about faith for his blog.
My wife has a bad habit of having horrible timing. It’s almost like she plans it. Every night before I go to bed, I grab the water glass from my bedside table and take it all the way downstairs to refill it. When I get back to the bedroom, Shannon sees my full glass of water and realizes that her own glass is empty. Batting her eyes, she holds her glass up to me. “Since I’m in bed already, would you mind getting me some water, too?”
Seriously. I am five seconds away from crawling into the nice, warm bed and she wants me to go all the way back downstairs to get her a glass of water - despite the fact that she could have asked me two minutes ago and I would have happily done it all in one trip.
So how do I respond?
I wish I could tell you that I smile back at her, tell her that she is beautiful, and fill up her glass with water as I fill her spirit with affection. But we all know how this story actually ends, right? Instead of taking care of my wife, I get angry and roll my eyes, harumphing until she gets out of bed and says she’ll get her own water. Then I whisper under my breath, “Thank goodness,” and crawl into bed.
Basically, I fail to care for my wife. Every night. When she gives me an opportunity to demonstrate my love to her, I glare and tell her that she’s not good enough for me to make an extra trip up and down the stairs. This is not the way of Christ. This is not the way of mutual submission.
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This story is one simple example of how I can do a better job of submitting to my wife, but the act of submission is not easy to put into practice. Submitting to one another is hard, and it’s risky. It requires an incredible amount of trust in your partner because you open yourself up to being exploited. It involves laying your life down at the foot of the cross, just as Christ laid his life down for us.
There are times and situations where mutual submission is not a healthy option for one reason or another, and I don’t think Paul intended this text as a prescription to live in abusive or manipulative relationships. But when a couple is able to truly submit to one another - to put the other’s needs and well-being before their own - the result is often a beautiful, life-filled relationship.
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"What we take off, what we put on"
Wednesday, 3 May 2017
Colossians 3:5 Therefore, put to death the earthly parts of your nature — sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed (which is a form of idolatry); 6 for it is because of these things that God’s anger is coming on those who disobey him. 7 True enough, you used to practice these things in the life you once lived; 8 but now, put them all away — anger, exasperation, meanness, slander and obscene talk. 9 Never lie to one another; because you have stripped away the old self, with its ways, 10 and have put on the new self, which is continually being renewed in fuller and fuller knowledge, closer and closer to the image of its Creator. 11 The new self allows no room for discriminating between Gentile and Jew, circumcised and uncircumcised, foreigner, savage, slave, free man; on the contrary, in all, the Messiah is everything.
12 Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with feelings of compassion and with kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. 13 Bear with one another; if anyone has a complaint against someone else, forgive him. Indeed, just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you must forgive.
14 Above all these, clothe yourselves with love, which binds everything together perfectly; 15 and let the shalom which comes from the Messiah be your heart’s decision-maker, for this is why you were called to be part of a single Body.
And be thankful — 16 let the Word of the Messiah, in all its richness, live in you, as you teach and counsel each other in all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude to God in your hearts. 17 That is, everything you do or say, do in the name of the Lord Yeshua, giving thanks through him to God the Father.
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The apostle Paul used changing our clothes (something we do often) as an image for choosing a new life in Christ. He listed ten hurtful qualities Christ-followers should “take off” (verses 5, 8), and six helpful qualities we can “put on” (verses 12, 14). The image didn’t mean changing is quick and easy, otherwise we wouldn’t need verse 13 about forgiveness. But it did suggest that inner spiritual changes show in our visible behaviors.
• “Put on compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Be tolerant with each other and, if someone has a complaint…, forgive each other. As the Lord forgave you, so also forgive each other. And over all these things put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity.” How often do you live that way in your most valued relationships? If you fail to “put on” this way of life, what blocks you? Get counseling help if you need it, and let God go to work in your life.
• Whatever innate “niceness” we think we have will not, by itself, produce these changes. “This life reflects [the Colossians] identity as the loved, forgiven, reconciled people of God in Christ.” * In what ways is God’s love, forgiveness and reconciliation shaping your life today? In what ways do you see your treatment of others reflecting God’s treatment of you?
Prayer: Lord God, thank you for loving and forgiving me. As you draw me closer to you, help me keep learning how to draw nearer to others, especially those to whom I have made loving commitments. Amen.
* J. R. Daniel Kirk, study note on Colossians 3:12-17 in The CEB Study Bible. Nashville: Abingdon Press, 2013, p. 386 NT.
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Kari BurgessKari's responsibilities on the ShareChurch team include marketing, guest registration and service, and coordinating hospitality volunteers for the conferences we host at Resurrection.
She enjoys running and hiking and loves being a cheerleader for her girls at all of their sporting, music and school events.
She considers it a joy to serve in ministry at Resurrection, using her gifts and skills gained in the corporate world toward the purpose of renewing God's church.As I was thinking about this past weekend’s sermon on The Keys to Happily Ever After, I couldn’t help but think of my parents and the model of a strong marriage they have provided my husband and me.
My parents met when my mom was 14 and my dad was 15 at 4-H camp in southwestern Iowa. (How cute is that!) They lived about 30 minutes apart, dated through their high school years and were married after their first year of college. 3 kids, 8 grandkids and 53 years later, they are still going strong. Growing up I can remember hearing the anecdotes about how they met, adventures when they were dating and hardships of those early years of marriage.
How might I (and our Insights readers) learn something from Mom and Dad’s marriage when looking through the lens of today's Scripture from Colossians? As I see it, my parents reflect Paul’s plea to the Colossians to treat each other with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience (at least much of the time). And when they are not reflecting these virtues, they reflect Paul’s plea for tolerance of each other and forgiveness. (We all need a little tolerance and forgiveness. Amen??)
Mom talks about the importance of acknowledging and complimenting accomplishments, particularly on little things. For instance, Dad isn’t known for being handy--in fact, quite the opposite. So if he figures out how to fix something, Mom makes sure to acknowledge it. She also said it’s just as important to know when NOT to say something, to bite your tongue and keep a harsh word to yourself. In these instances, Mom exhibits the virtues of gentleness and kindness (and maybe a little tolerance when it comes to fixing things!)
For Dad’s part, I noticed today how he took Mom’s arm as she walked down the bleacher stairs at my daughter’s soccer game. He is sure to be the one to walk on the sidewalk nearest the street or step in to take a heavy load from her arms. He pays attention to details and blesses her by these small acts. Dad has always been compassionate and humble.
As natural as these practices seem to be for them most of the time, I imagine it took time to cultivate these virtues. I’m sure there are times they must make a conscious effort to practice these things. And some virtues come easier than others. I know these things to be true for my husband and me, and likely for most of us. As Pastor Adam teaches frequently, the agape love today’s Scripture is speaking about is a love where you practice these virtues even when you don’t feel like it.
Perhaps the most important analogy about marriage I heard from my parents when we talked this week is this:
Some people say a marriage should be 50/50, that each person in the relationship should give equally or put in half the effort. But they said this is simply not realistic. There are times when one person is only able to give 20 percent. Whether the contribution is emotional, financial, physical, spiritual, the other person in the marriage (or relationship) needs to be willing to make up the other 80 percent. If one partner is down due to an illness, the other partner steps up to take care of them and the needs of the household. If one partner is struggling emotionally, the other partner needs to compensate and give more in the relationship during that period. And when neither partner is giving enough to add up to 100 percent, then perhaps there is some work to be done together. This is a representation of a true partnership. I’m sure the analogy breaks down at some point, but you get the picture.
Mom and Dad’s marriage has been an adventure over the years. Is it perfect? No. Do they always live out the characteristics from Colossians, being compassionate, kind, humble, gentle and patient with each other? Of course not. But they do set these virtues as their goal, and when they find themselves missing the mark with each other, they work to reset. My husband and I have been blessed by the example they have set for us about how to weather the storms and make marriage a partnership, with plenty of give and take. In fact, we are blessed have an amazing example of marriage from both sets of parents. My in-laws celebrate their 50thanniversary next year. (Perhaps I’ll have the opportunity to share their story in another Insights blog!)
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"Beautiful relationships, guided by the Spirit"
Thursday, 4 May 2017
Galatians 5:22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 humility, self control. Nothing in the Torah stands against such things.
24 Moreover, those who belong to the Messiah Yeshua have put their old nature to death on the stake, along with its passions and desires. 25 Since it is through the Spirit that we have Life, let it also be through the Spirit that we order our lives day by day.
26 Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other.
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To the churches in Galatia, the apostle Paul listed key qualities God offers to grow in us: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Who wouldn’t want those qualities in a spouse, a date, a friend or a co-worker? Paul gave the Holy Spirit center stage, emphasizing how God’s relationship with us infuses and directs all parts of our life.
• Paul clearly believed that God’s people could depend on the guidance of the Holy Spirit. Yet the Spirit seldom confronts us with flashing billboards--his guidance usually reaches us in quiet, subtle ways. What steps can you (and your partner in any close relationship) take to keep your spiritual “ears” open to the Spirit’s direction? (For a readable list of helpful spiritual practices, click here.)
• Reflect on the qualities Paul called “the fruit of the Spirit” in verses 22-23. Which of them most appeal to you, and seem to come most naturally? Which of them do you find that you struggle with the most? How do you believe the qualities with which you struggle would deepen and enrich your closest relationships?
Prayer: Holy Spirit, plant your fruit in my heart, and teach me how to be good soil in which that fruit can flourish. Let me be a person who gifts others with love, joy and peace. Amen.
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Janelle GregoryJanelle Gregory serves on the Resurrection staff as a Human Resources Specialist. Janelle finds that her heart is constantly wrestling with the truth that she needs a Savior, and the times when she's at her very best are when she's just too tired to put up a fight.
Anyone can read this post, but I'd like to specifically speak to those who are unmarried and looking to date or in a dating relationship.
While I'm only 9.5 years into married-life (which is the equivalent of 40 Hollywood married-life years), I have learned a few things about love and marriage. Don't get me wrong, I know I still have plenty to learn (I’m sure my husband would agree). But if I could, I would love to offer up one piece of advice: choose a mate who not only shares your faith, but encourages and challenges you to grow in it. I can't emphasize this enough. There are plenty of qualities to look for in a spouse, but I would not only put this at the top, I would make it a non-negotiable.
These are a few reasons why:
- My faith in Christ is the deepest, truest part of who I am. You can't separate my Christianity from me. It would be difficult for me to feel entirely known by anyone who wouldn't understand this part of me. They might be able to comprehend a large portion of who I am. In fact, some of my favorite people don’t share my faith, and they do know me extremely well. But what they can’t relate to, is that at the core of who I am is my identity as a child of God.
- My spouse encourages my relationship with God. I have a stronger faith today, because I am bonded with someone who wants me to know, love, and serve God. He’s never questioned me when I’ve said, “I think God wants us to do this” or “I’d like to go to Malawi for two weeks, because I sense God moving there.” My husband’s faith has helped me to learn more about who God is, what the Bible says, and how our faith should shape the world. I believe that as he and I are growing closer to God individually, we are consequently growing closer to each other.
- Marriage is great. There are days when you will look at your spouse and be ever so grateful for that person. But then there are other days, days when you are on your ever-last nerve, days when your marriage is tested, days when you look at that person and think, “I don’t really like you right now.” This doesn’t happen all that often, but I’d be very surprised if all marriages didn’t go through this. If your spouse also loves God, when that happens you think, “I don’t like you right now, but I do love God. I know that we can serve God better together than I can individually. Our relationship is more than a legal document or a tax-break, it’s a covenant before and with our Lord. Because of this, even though I don’t like you right now, I choose to love you.”
What I am saying is that in my experience, being married to a person who is on the same page as me spiritually, makes me a stronger Christian and makes our marriage stronger and deeper too. When you’re considering dating or marrying a person, you may want them to be smart, funny, good-looking, or kind or you may want them to share your same interests. Those are all fine reasons to choose someone. But here’s what I’ll say – I am not interested in all the same things I was 10 years ago, are you? Looks fade over time, and nobody is kind ALL of the time. The most consistent and significant part of who we are is found in our relationship with God. By saying “until death do us part” with someone who loves Jesus as much as you do, you’ll see your faith grow and your marriage flourish in ways you can’t imagine.
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"The peaceful results of focusing on the good"
Friday, 5 May 2017
Philippians 4:4 Rejoice in union with the Lord always! I will say it again: rejoice! 5 Let everyone see how reasonable and gentle you are. The Lord is near! 6 Don’t worry about anything; on the contrary, make your requests known to God by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving. 7 Then God’s shalom, passing all understanding, will keep your hearts and minds safe in union with the Messiah Yeshua. 8 In conclusion, brothers, focus your thoughts on what is true, noble, righteous, pure, lovable or admirable, on some virtue or on something praiseworthy. 9 Keep doing what you have learned and received from me, what you have heard and seen me doing; then the God who gives shalom will be with you.
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Paul talked about gladness, gentleness, an absence of anxiety, a spirit of gratitude and a deep, abiding peace in these verses. But these things didn’t just happen by themselves—Paul ended by saying “practice these things.” We become strong Christians by choosing to direct our thoughts and our actions toward our God, who promised us rich spiritual and relational rewards.
• “Let your gentleness show in your treatment of all people,” Paul wrote (verse 5). Various marriage counselors have noted the sad irony that many people treat strangers or casual acquaintances far more gently than they do their spouse or children. How’s you r gentleness quotient toward “all people”? How is it toward those to whom you are closest?
• Verse 6 reads, “Don’t be anxious about anything; rather bring up all of your requests to God in your prayers and petitions, along with giving thanks.” Do you pray regularly about your closest relationships? Are you at ease talking with God about whatever is on your mind in that area of life? Do you give thanks for those you love, and who love you?
Prayer: God, you created me (like all humans) to be in relationships. Fill me with the qualities that will make me a blessing to everyone, and especially to those I love the most. Amen.
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Darren LippeDarren Lippe helps facilitate Journey 101 “Loving God” classes, guides a 7th-grade Sunday school class, is a member of a small group and a men’s group, and serves on the curriculum team.
Pondering Paul’s charge for us to be gentle & civil as we deal with one another, I ran across this “interview transcript:”
[Deep Voiceover: This is QPN – The Quill Pen Network]
QPN: We are continuing our interview with our guest, Mr. Alexander Hamilton. You were talking about relationships & getting along with others.
AH: Well, people forget that during the formative years of our nation, there was a great deal of arguing & quarreling amongst the political leaders like Thomas Jefferson, James Monroe, James Madison & myself. Libel, slander, & even spying were all considered fair play. That’s why we wrote the Federalist Papers anonymously, to avoid tainting support for the Constitution.
QPN: Ah yes, The Federalist Papers. We are coming onto an ad break, in 60 seconds could you summarize them for us?
AH: Um, there were 85 articles & essays, I don’t think I could possibly…
[Ad: When things go wrong, use Pioneer Insurance’s Name-Your-Price-Tool & in 15 minutes or less you’ll be back in good hands.]
QPN: And we are back. So, in this malicious environment, how did our nation even get started?
AH: I would submit we were fortunate to have George Washington as President of the Constitutional Convention. (He was unanimously elected.) He prioritized establishing & maintaining relationships every day. As a 16-year-old, he came across a Jesuit collection of rules on morals & good manners, which he used as a basis for his hand-written list of 110 “Rules of Civility & Decent Behavior in Company & Conversation.” Here is a paraphrase of some of my favorites:
When in the company of others, refrain from reading letters, books or papers.
- When visiting the sick, do not play physician unless you have studied medicine
- In reprimanding someone, decide if it should be in public or private & show no irritation, only sweetness & mildness. Be blameless yourself of whatever you reprove in others since your good example will prevail more than preaching
- Be slow to believe anything that disparages another & do not speak ill of someone who is absent.
- Be modest in your dress (don’t play the peacock) & strive to accommodate nature rather than seeking admiration.
- Let your conversation be free of malice or envy; in all passionate causes submit to governing by reason. Be friendly & courteous & let others voice their opinions. Present your opinions modestly & do not be stubborn. Think before you speak. If you are not sure if news is true, do not pass it on.
- Receive criticism thankfully. If you believe it is unfair, select a later time to profess your innocence.
- Be careful to keep your promises & never undertake what you cannot complete.
- Do not take a bite that is more than you can chew, do not stoop over your plate, & do not talk with your mouth full.
AH: First, I would submit a key to developing & maintaining relationships is grace. If we expect, or worse yet, demand perfection in others, we will always be disappointed.
Secondly, our descendents will undoubtedly think less of my era for our mistaken views & opinions, just like we chided the generations before us. It should also be noted that every generation, even those 250 years from now, will likewise be rebuked by their descendants for their own “How could they think this?” ideas. This is as it should be. Hopefully, each generation, by standing on the admittedly imperfect shoulders of their ancestors, will be able to conquer even greater heights as we all strive to restore God’s Paradise.
QPN: You know, Mr. Hamilton, I think your own life would make a fascinating story some day – maybe even a musical production.
AH: Ha! I’ll bet you a $10 dollar bill that my name will be forgotten years from now. Whoa. I have to run. I’m supposed to have breakfast with Aaron Burr.
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"What God-given love looks like"
Saturday, 6 May 2017
1 Corinthians 13:4 Love is patient and kind, not jealous, not boastful,
5 not proud, rude or selfish, not easily angered,
and it keeps no record of wrongs.
6 Love does not gloat over other people’s sins
but takes its delight in the truth.
7 Love always bears up, always trusts,
always hopes, always endures.
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Love “doesn’t keep a record of complaints” is a difficult ideal, maybe even impossible to live fully in this life. Paul was aware of that: “We know in part,” he went on to write in verse 9. But the ideals for which we aim matter. You can see where unchecked “keeping a record of complaints” leads by looking at Palestinians and Israelis and dozens of other warring ethnic groups. But you don’t need to study tragic world events. You need only look at thousands of broken relationships to see what happens when “score-keeping” replaces love and trust.
• How do the other qualities of love Paul listed shape a relationship in which keeping no record of complaints becomes a realistic, joy-filled way to live? In which, if any, of your day-to-day relationships are you able to readily and easily live out most of the qualities of love that Paul listed? In which relationships is it a struggle to show these qualities, even with gritted teeth? What marriage(s) have you seen that seemed to come close to living out these ideals? What intentional choices and positive actions helped those couples live into mutual support and respect?
Prayer: Lord Jesus, you walked among as genuine love incarnate. Help my understanding of love to grow beyond the sentimentalism my culture often confuses with love, and to be a robust force making every life I touch better. Amen.
Family Activity: Treating one another with patience and kindness can be difficult in relationships of any kind. Read Matthew 7:12[Matthew 7:12 “Always treat others as you would like them to treat you; that sums up the teaching of the Torah and the Prophets.]. This Scripture is often called the Golden Rule. Hand out an index card to each person in your family. Have each person write, “I did or said something kind” on one side of the card. On the other side write, “I did or said something hurtful.” Ask each person to pay attention to their words and actions each day. Encourage them to place a mark on the appropriate side of the card each time they do something kind or hurtful. No one else needs to see the cards. These are just for each individual and God. Each day, work toward having fewer marks on the “hurtful” side and more marks on the “kind” side. Pray for God’s help to treat one another with patience and kindness.
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Mike AshMike Ash is the worship leader and Director of Community Life at Resurrection's Blue Springs location.
1 Corinthians 13 is one of the most recognizable passages from the Bible. It is often read at weddings and hung on walls in old picture frames with the words stitched with red thread. (At least that’s where I remember first reading it in my grandmother's kitchen.)
I don’t remember who was teaching Sunday school one day, but I vividly remember them replacing “love” with “God” in this passage. It suddenly made God real and alive to me. The idea that God is patient and not irritable, that he puts up with all things and hopes the best was stunning to me. As a young child I had a healthy fear of God. I pictured him with a massive grey beard, pretty ticked off because we were all selfish and kept breaking his rules.
When I was eight I got a BB gun for Christmas. I was really excited, and couldn’t wait for my cousins to come over and shoot some cans. Earlier I had heard dad talking about covering the barn windows with plastic. So when my cousins finally arrived we shot some cans, and then I had the idea to shoot out the barn windows since dad was going to cover them up anyway! I’ll never forget telling dad at dinner that night that I had taken care of the barn window for him! As he explained my mistake to me, he could see my pain and embarrassment as he expressed his disappointment. He told me I would lose my BB gun for awhile--but it would be okay, and I would have to help him cover the barn windows. I learned a big lesson by the way my father responded with patience, restraint and hoping the best.
I wonder what the world would be like if we treated one another as Corinthians 13 describes. Being patient when we’re driving--especially if we’re behind someone slow or they cut us off in traffic! Being kind to each other, remembering that we never know what someone may be going through. Refusing to be jealous, resisting the temptation to brag, not being arrogant. Never being rude to anyone but especially to those we’re closest with. In Matthew 16, Jesus told his disciples, If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. The cross Jesus carried was a symbol of loving sacrifice, and this is the cross that he says we must carry. As we carry our cross of love into the world let us demonstrate God’s love, patience and hope to all we meet.
Prayer: Lord Jesus, you demonstrated sacrificial love as you walked among us, and ultimately on the cross. Fill me with your spirit and help me be a conduit of your love and grace to everyone one I meet today. Amen.
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Prayer Requests – cor.org/prayer Prayers for Peace & Comfort for:
• Joline Murphy and family on the death of her brother George Pirth, 4/22
•Norma Marshall and family on the death of her brother-in-law Dean McMahon, 4/22
•Dave Turnbull and family on the death of his stepmother Betty Turnbull, 4/22
•Stephanie Smith and family on the death of her uncle William “Bill” Bullard, 4/20
• John Grant and family on the death of his father John Grant, Sr., 4/19
•Cheri Rappe and family on the death of her mother Lou Love, 4/18
•Trilla Ray-Carter and family on the death of her brother David Ray, 4/18
•Bob Myers and family on the death of his brother Lloyd R. Myers, 4/17
•Chris Ratigan and family on the death of his mother Pamela Ratigan, 4/15
•Gay Scholz and family on the death of her mother Wilma Pruden, 4/10
•Roger Volk and family on the death of his sister Eleanor “Sissy” Hardin, 4/3
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