Wednesday, August 30, 2017
From the Lewis Center for Church Leadership of Wesley Theological Seminary
Expecting the Best of People Can Bring Out Their Best by Lovett H. Weems, Jr.Lovett Weems shares the story of how a church leader brought around a critic of a new homeless ministry by approaching the individual with a presumption of grace rather than a presumption of judgment.
A few years ago, a seminary student in my church leadership class was serving as an intern at an urban congregation. The church had a strong commitment to serve their community, though it had a history of exclusion that made their community relations more difficult and, for a few members, unwelcomed. With strong pastoral leadership, the church engaged issues that could easily have been ignored. Homelessness was one of them.
The pastor had observed that many homeless individuals frequently spent time near the church. After numerous conversations with several of these persons, the pastor realized there was a need for food and a safe place to be during the day. She sensed God calling the church to respond to this need. Slowly, a vision of hospitality with unhoused neighbors emerged. However, some people in the congregation resisted this vision. One person who was very resistant was Sam (not his real name), an 87-year-old man and a 50-year member of this church. Sam was very vocal about his unhappiness with the vision of hospitality for homeless persons. He would even lock the doors when the worship service started so no homeless men and women could enter the sanctuary.
It was tempting to just get upset at Sam, who was standing in the way of our outreach to the homeless, but I have realized that it is much more effective to treat him with love and grace, helping him live into the vision.
Presumption of Grace or of Judgement?At the same time, the student intern was learning in class the importance of church leaders operating from a “presumption of grace” rather than a “presumption of judgment.” In other words, you always assume the best about others rather than the worst. She thought she had found in the grumpy door-locker, Sam, the exception to this rule. However, she decided to give it a try, not really expecting it to make a difference with someone so negative and set in his ways.
One of the intern’s responsibilities was to recruit sponsors for youth and adults who were to be baptized. A baptism was coming up, but it was a bit different. Claude (not his real name), a homeless young adult who had started attending, was to be baptized in a few weeks. So, she took courage in hand and approached the critic of the homeless outreach to be the sponsor, refusing to assume the worst about him despite the evidence. “What would it mean,” she asked herself, “to approach him with love and grace, assuming he cared as much for this homeless man as she did?”
Since Sam had often been a baptism sponsor, she approached him first with affirmation. She began, “Sam, you have been such a wonderful and caring sponsor for so many people. You always take that role so seriously. When you are a sponsor, everyone knows it will be done well.”
She continued, “I’m coming to you because of your experience with a request to be a sponsor for someone who may need some extra help getting to know others here. You probably have seen him. His name is Claude, and he started attending due to our outreach to nearby homeless persons. I know you would be a wonderful sponsor for Claude and that he could learn a lot from you. I understand that we call on you often to be a sponsor, so I will certainly understand if you feel this is one too many.”
A Surprising Change
Sam said, “I would be honored to be his sponsor. Thank you for asking.” Before the baptism, Sam spent time with Claude and learned more about him. The pattern was for the sponsor to come forward just before the baptism and tell something about the person to be baptized. The whole congregation was surprised when Sam stood for this task. Sam began, “I am so proud to be Claude’s sponsor, and I’m honored to tell you a bit about my new friend.”
Not only did the two of them become friends; people began noticing that Sam no longer locked the doors after worship started. The intern’s reflections on this experience: “It was tempting to just get upset at Sam for locking the doors and being inhospitable, but I have realized that it is much more effective to treat him with love and grace, helping him live into the vision. I never gave up on the vision or on Sam.”
Related Resources
- Lead Positively by Lovett H. Weems, Jr.
- High Yield: Seven Disciplines of the Fruitful Leader by Tom Berlin and Lovett H. Weems, Jr.
- Leading a Ministry with Homeless People by Rudy Rasmus
Your Church Website Probably Needs a Fresh Coat of Paint by Will RiceWill Rice says church websites become out of date because people in the know stop paying attention. It takes a fresh set of eyes to point out what's missing and what needs to be refreshed.
I visited the website of a large church recently. I was looking for information on a special worship service they were having the next day. It wasn’t there. As I started looking around, I realized a lot of information was out of date. More than that, the entire site was dated. It looked like it was state of the art five years ago. Since then, apparently, not only had it not received an overall update, very little attention was being paid to it.
Outsiders notice things we no longer can see.
Churches never decide to stop updating their websites. They may decide not to go through the cost or effort of a full redesign but that is not normally the issue. The website paint just starts peeling and nobody really notices.
Consultants and any outsiders can serve an essential role for churches. They point out things we can’t see any more. Often the most pressing need listed in a church consultation report is the need to paint. Seriously. Very few churches decide not to paint. Admittedly, there are some who don’t want to spend the money or simply don’t have it. Most just don’t notice that there is a need for paint.
Churches never decide to stop updating their websites. The website paint just starts peeling and nobody really notices.
It is not just churches. A few years back, I changed providers for my homeowner’s insurance. The underwriter sent out an agent to inspect the house. A week later, I got a letter explaining that my insurance would be canceled if I didn’t make repairs. They sent photos of the back of my house showing that the paint had peeled off the trim leaving bare wood. Seriously, I spent a lot of time back there. Did I ever notice that all the paint had peeled off? No, I didn’t. Paint doesn’t fall off in sheets. It flecks off slowly. So slowly that you don’t even notice it until someone points it out.Your website is your new front door.
What does paint have to do with websites? A church’s website is its new front door. In many ways, it is the lobby and welcome center. People make a lot of decisions about your church before they ever drive into the parking lot. Just as fresh paint communicates a lot to a new visitor, so does an up-to-date website. Unfortunately, many people will never see the walls or trim in your church. They may never get beyond your website where the events calendar features a special Easter service from last year, the photo gallery’s latest pictures are from the 2014 youth summer trip, the latest posted newsletter is from four months ago, and many pages will not display properly on mobile devices.
A new set of eyes
You need another set of eyes. The good news is, it doesn’t have to cost you any money. Ask someone to look at your church’s website. Find someone who doesn’t go to your church and ask them to tell you what they see. Find one of those friends that is a little nit-picky. We all have a friend like that. They may be the one who lets you know you need to paint your trim.
Will Rice blogs on issues related to helping local congregations reach their communities at pastorwill.net. This article is adapted from that blog and used by permission.
Related Resources
- Stories — Your Website’s Secret Sauce by Will Rice
- Effective Church Websites by Scott Dixon
- Meeting Your New First-Time Guest by Don Nations
The Right Question
Leaders do not need answers. Leaders must have the right questions.
Sam Walton was a phenomenally successful business person who started small and built a giant retail enterprise during his lifetime. He was known for learning from others, including competitors. One question that served him well was:
- Who else is struggling with a similar problem, and what can I learn from them?
50 Ways to Strengthen Ministry with YouthHow can your church help youth claim a vital faith? No question is more critical to the future of the church. Learn effective tips your congregation can use to improve ministry with teens and their families in "50 Ways to Strengthen Ministry with Youth."
How can your church help youth claim a vital faith? No question is more critical to the future of the church. Here are 50 Ways your congregation can strength ministry with teens and their families.
Honor the spiritually of youth
- Appreciate and validate youth as persons of sacred worth with legitimate spiritual needs and responses.
- Understand young persons as participants in ministry, not objects of ministry.
- Shake off stereotypes of youth as irreligious, rebellious and difficult.
- Don’t make young people be like you before they can be like Jesus.
- Don’t guess at young people’s needs. Solicit input and feedback from teens themselves, not just parents and adults leaders. Invite them to suggest ways the church can help them grow in faith.
- Appreciate that youth ministry is more than youth group. Encourage youth to be involved in all aspects of church life.
- Advocate for youth.
Equip parents to nurture their children’s faith
- Know that parental influence is the primary factor determining the religious commitment of youth, even for older teens.
- Support faith formation in the parents of youth. Getting parents involved and serious about their own faith is the best way to get youth involved and serious.
- Start a study group for parents of teens aimed at helping them understand how to nurture their teenagers’ spirituality.
- Provide resources for practicing and discussing faith at home — for praying together as a family, for observing Christian holidays, and conversing about faith issues.
- Consider an intergenerational format for Christian education that has youth and parents study together.
- Provide support groups and resources on family concerns and child-raising issues.
- Teach parents the importance of just hanging out with their kids.
“Get real” with Christian Education for youth
- Ask if your youth Sunday School curriculum is seriously addressing the questions kids are really asking.
- Honestly address issues related to sexuality. Offer a first-rate program on human sexuality to which parents would want to send their kids.
- Recognize that discussion and conversation are essential to faith formation.
- Use current events as discussion topics.
- Give teens permission to ask questions and talk about their doubts.
- Empower youth to rewrite hymns and prayers in ways that are meaningful to them.
- Get acquainted with the music kids spend their time listening to. Help youth make connections between their music and faith. Allow them to find their voice and worship God in their own musical languages and styles.
- Articulate the basic tenets of the faith clearly and often.
- Emphasize experience-centered learning. Faith must be experienced before it can be articulated. Experience is often more important than information about faith.
- Provide training in spiritual disciplines — prayer, Scripture reading, acts of mercy. Emphasize the practices of faith.
- Integrate “service learning” into Christian education to teach discipleship. Involve youth in planning and leading mission activities.
Provide excellent adult leadership for youth activities
- Recruit adult leaders for youth activities who are knowledgeable, committed, spiritually mature, and effective in communicating with young people. Don’t assume that a young adult is necessarily best suited for the job.
- Provide training for youth teachers and leaders, especially on discussion and listening skills.
- Perform required background checks for volunteers and staff working with youth. Implement policies and procedures to prevent child abuse.
- Invest in youth ministry. A meaningful commitment to reach youth must be reflected in your budget and staffing decisions and the commitment of the pastor’s time.
Make worship meaningful for young persons
- Give youth meaningful and visible roles as worship participants.
- Make youth worship experience-based. The elements of worship should all connect to a central message that causes the worshiper to make a connection with God.
- Use popular songs, movie clips, or poems to connect the message with the broader culture.
- Have youth write their own liturgies and prayers.
Create a sense of belonging for youth
- Youth ministry is about relationships. Relationships are more important than programs. Young persons are seeking a sense of belonging.
- Strive to integrate youth into the church as a whole. Youth programs should equip and empower youth as congregational participants, not isolate or “ghettoize” them.
- Be present for kids. Listen.
- Kids need and value stability, routines, and ritual, even if they don’t act like it.
- Combat cliquishness. Reinforce inclusiveness and acceptance of peers.
- Build group cohesiveness with retreats and mission trips providing opportunities for sustained interaction.
Cultivate competence in youth
- Build a sense of accomplishment among young persons with challenging music, drama, or service activities. The ability to develop “competence” is one of the hooks connecting kids to church.
- Give youth real responsibilities.
- Extend leadership opportunities to as many youth as possible. Give them an active role in the leadership and decision making of the church.
- Start a youth-led worship service.
Strive for effective Youth Fellowship
- Be consistent with your meeting times and place. Meeting at the church is often preferable to meeting in different homes because it is a well-known location and “neutral” territory.
- Divide junior high and senior high youth if possible. Older teens will tend to fall way from groups with many younger kids.
- Involve the youth in planning all their activities.
- Balance recreation, study, devotion and fellowship.
- Schedule a “big event” every month to make it easy for youth to invite their friends.
- Enlist parents as allies. Their support is critical.
- Have clear policies about behavioral boundaries and discipline.
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Adult Education Study: Serious Answers to Hard QuestionsIn this thought-provoking video-based congregational study, leading theologians address ten issues that are obstacles to faith for many both in and outside of the church. Topics include the existence of evil, the relationship between science and religion, the sins of the church, and more. Serious Questions to Hard Answers is an outstanding introductory-level study that appeals to a very wide audience and is ideal for your congregation's small groups, adult Bible studies, and Sunday School classes.
Learn more now.
Quotable Leadership
Helping a community of faith re-vision its personal and collective narratives is one of the greatest leadership challenges of the age. [Larry Goleman]
Apply Today for Doctor of Ministry in Church Leadership at WesleyWesley Theological Seminary and the Lewis Center together offer a Doctor of Ministry in Church Leadership Excellence. With this track, clergy will receive the enhanced knowledge, skills, and motivation to increase congregational and denominational service, vitality, and growth. The next cohort begins in May 2018 in Washington, DC.
Learn more and apply today.
Editor: Dr. Ann A. Michel
Copyright © 2004-2017 Lewis Center for Church Leadership of Wesley Theological Seminary
Connect with the Lewis Center:
Lewis Center for Church Leadership
Wesley Theological Seminary
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Washington, D.C. 20016, United States
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