Editor's Note:
Dear Friend,
As we stand between Purim and Passover, I am reminded of their joint theme: Throughout the generations, people have sought to subjugate and destroy our people. Yet human action and divine destiny always ensure that we endure and flourish.
Just over a century ago, around this time of year, the body of a young boy was discovered on the outskirts of Kiev, Ukraine, and the highest echelons of the czarist government conspired to falsely accuse a Jew, Mendel Beilis, of murdering the child to use his blood to bake matzah.
Chabad.org has just released a documentary film featuring new research into the case. Expert interviews, period press cuttings, and original photographs bring the story and its dramatic cast of characters to life. Click here to watch the film, and here to learn more about the trial.
Even today, the blood libel is used to fuel anti-Semitic agitation, and there are still those who threaten the world with evil. The Beilis case is more than an interesting historical episode; it’s a compelling lesson about the human capacity to stand up for truth and justice in the face of hate and power.
May we celebrate Passover, “the season of our freedom,” knowing that our positive actions bring redemption to the entire world.
Eli Rubin,
on behalf of the Chabad.org Editorial Team
Do you have something to say about this note? Please click here to leave a response or ask a question.
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Daily Thought:
At the Threshold
At the threshold of the ultimate good,
the highest sparks of G‑dliness lie on the ground at our feet, but we are too busy to bend down and pick them up.
Where the greatest of miracles occur,
wonders beyond imagination, we are too preoccupied to lift our eyes and notice.
The table is set for a feast, but we are all asleep—and who will wake us from our dreams?
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This Week's Features:
10 Steps Towards a More Serene Passover by Rivka Caroline
With all the cleaning and cooking for Passover, it’s easy to lose sight of the inner meaning of this holy time. So, this year, let’s take steps to arrive at the Seder relaxed and inspired.
Two to Four Weeks Prior:
1) Plan a Serene Passover
Give yourself the priceless gift of sanity this year. Take some time to sit down and visualize your serene house on the day Passover begins. Write down all that needs to be done ahead of time to get there. Plan out your menu. The first two days and the last two days of Passover are holidays, plus there will be at least one Shabbat. Rather than creating multiple meal plans, just create one menu for the first few holiday meals and tweak it a bit for the last days. Throw in some things the children like for the intermediate days, and you’re done. Put the notes on a pretty clipboard in a designated spot, or post them on a corkboard.
2) De-clutter
It will be easier to do your Passover cleaning if you don’t have to clean around piles of clutter. This doesn’t mean that you should idly spring clean and get lost in nostalgia for an hour as you go through old photos. Now is the time to be brutal. As you go through your home cleaning for Passover, feel free to throw out or give away items that are just taking up space. Either you really love it or it’s really useful; no “just because” or “just in case” items. For example, if your youngest is eight years old, resist keeping an extra stroller “just in case,” when you could pass it on to someone who could use it, freeing up space for you.
3) Make a “Perhaps” List
You might want to consider making a “perhaps” list. Your “perhaps” list is strictly for items that would be nice to do . . . perhaps. Before Passover, we get inspired to do things we never thought of before. Why else would we consider finally going through all the toy cars and throwing out the broken ones? What is happening to us? It’s quite simple—our minds are trying to protect us. Our minds are very resourceful, and when we are faced with challenging (a.k.a. stressful) work like true Passover cleaning, our mind finds creative ways to stall us.
That’s why we are suddenly inspired to organize the doll clothes rather than scrub down the toy area and clean the toys. That’s why the glove compartment looks so appealing to organize when faced with the alternative—cleaning the Cheerio-infested car seat.
Clearly define what your priorities are, and put them on a definitive to-do list. Then choose your extra credit choices and put them on your “perhaps” list. Yes, you can cheat once in a while, but make sure that whatever has to get done for Passover gets done.
4) Apply the 80/20 Rule
Now that you’ve conquered your menus and organized your lists, it’s time to learn a classic time-management rule that will help you with your pre-Passover preparation and beyond.
It's the 80/20 rule, otherwise known as the Pareto principle. It states that, for many events, roughly 80% of the effects come from 20% of the causes. So, let’s say you’re in front of your teenager’s closet and you see 10 skirts; she will probably wear only 20% (i.e., 2) of them 80% of the time. (The same is probably true about your closet, but I won’t tell your teen.) Think of all the friends you have: 80% of your time chatting on the phone will be with 20% of them.
So, how does this relate to Passover? The classic question to ask yourself is: what 20% of your effort yields 80% of your productivity? And conversely, what 80% of your time will yield 20% of your productivity? In other words, what tasks can you focus on now that will yield big dividends later on? Cleaning entire rooms ahead of time? Yes. Turning over the kitchen 3 days early? Yes. Calling multiple friends to find out how to best clean behind your oven? No! Spending the entire evening a week before Passover looking for the perfect shoes for your six-year-old? No.
So, by identifying what 20% of Passover gives you 80% of your stress, you know where the bulk of your proactive work lies. Whether your personal stress comes from the cleaning, the cooking, the exhaustion, the hostessing, or all of the above, you at least know where the answer to reducing stress lies. Generally speaking, it’s the tasks that yield that 80% of stress that we tend to postpone. So, take a look at your to-do list and make sure that you have included some high-productivity items. You will thank yourself in two weeks, and so will your husband and children.
One to Two Weeks Prior:
5) Make a To-Don’t List
Keep your focus on the goal. By deciding ahead what you really need to get done, you will also come to see what you won’t have the time and energy for . . . and that’s what your to-don’t list is for.
By actively choosing how you want to spend your time and energy, you remain empowered and productive. Think ahead to your Passover: What do you for sure want to do? What do you want someone else to do? Our lists will all be different. As the holiday approaches, you will notice that many things on your “perhaps” list will wind up on your to-don’t list.
6) Be Specific
Now is a crucial time in the Pre-Passover Prep world. By getting the right tasks done now, you will be ahead of the game and closer to your goal of reducing pre-Passover stress.
Take a few minutes today to plan specific goals for the week, and give each goal a time slot on your calendar. Replace overly optimistic (unrealistic) goals with specific and attainable goals. It is better to write “Spend one hour cleaning girls’ closets” than writing “Clean girls’ room.”
Here are some examples of tasks that might be on your to-do list for this week:
Finish cleaning the bedrooms.
Order food, matzah, wine and/or paper goods.
Clean car and car seats.
Make sure all holiday clothing items are ordered.
Buy baby paraphernalia (pacifiers, bottles, pump parts, etc.).
Buy new board games.
Write down your goals for each day, and cross off each task when you’ve completed it. Remember to keep your list in a highly visible place and adjust your tasks when need be. Don’t keep your list in your mind; as they say, “A goal that’s not written down is just a wish.”
7) Get the Children to Help
First, involve your children in the process. Rather than calling them to help when you need the help, write a list of items ahead of time that need to get done, and ask them which items they prefer to help with. Then ask them when they feel they can realistically finish those jobs. If the job gets forgotten, make sure to remind them nicely, and without using the word “you.” So, “The potatoes need peeling” is preferable to “You forgot to peel the potatoes.” Additionally, with everyone being overworked and a tiny bit stressed before Passover, be sure to compliment their work rather than critique it. Depending on your own budget and parenting style, children (especially teenagers) are guaranteed to work happily while discussing what new clothing items they would like for Passover . . .
8) Plan Off-the-Radar Meals
Here’s a productive reason to stop cleaning and sit down for a break: Plan the meals that often fall off the radar. We are so focused on what we will be serving at the Seder that we understandably forget to plan for the meals beforehand. Namely, what the family will be eating for the five days before Passover and on the day of the Seder itself. It doesn’t have to be gourmet, but it should be thought out ahead of time. Sweet potatoes and chicken are a popular choice for the day of the Seder, or consider using a crockpot and making a soup—five minutes in the morning yield benefits throughout the day.
9) S-M-I-L-E
With to-do lists longer than our shopping lists, we will be working harder over the next few weeks than we ever thought we could. To balance that responsibility overload, make sure to add some things to your list that make you smile. Everyone is different, so do what works for you. Some people love to escape to the mall for a bit, others like to buy pretty flowers for their table, while others savor time off to relax with a book. By planning what you want to get done and then rewarding yourself with time off, you will be happier, and (ironically) more productive as well.
10) Liberate Yourself . . . from the Kitchen
Here are some tips to minimize your time in the kitchen and maximize the benefits:
Set your menu up so that you can cook in bulk and freeze ahead of time.
Do your best to avoid being the only one working in the kitchen. Buy a lot of peelers, and give the children kitchen tasks.
Make sure you are not cooking unnecessary food. Go through the menu and make sure that everything is needed. Also, ask your spouse and kids what specific foods they would like to eat on Pesach. Tastes vary from year to year, and it would be a shame to invest all that time into making applesauce when your child would have been satisfied with an orange.
Wishing you a happy and stress-free Passover!
Rivka is a mother of seven and a rabbi’s wife in Key Biscayne, Florida. Rivka realized she had the choice of losing her sanity or developing new tricks for time management. Her new blog, Frazzled No More: Focused Living with a Jewish Twist, walks busy readers through easy-to-follow steps that will give them more time to do what they love. You can read more of Rivka’s tips in her recently published book, From Frazzled to Focused, the book she wished she had on her nightstand when she was a new mom. For more tips, check out Rivka’s website, or e‑mail her for information on her upcoming speaking tours.
© Copyright 2014, all rights reserved.
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PARSHAH
Fighting Ire with Fire
Gossip is charged with intrigue, and feels innocuous at the time. It’s usually afterward that the guilt settles in. by Rochel Holzkenner
© James Stock
“Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.”1 Perhaps, but being small-minded makes for much easier conversation. There is something so natural and compelling, so addictive, so cathartic about talking about other people. Gossip is charged with intrigue, and feels innocuous at the time. It’s usually afterward that the guilt settles in: “What was the point of that conversation?” “Did I violate someone’s privacy?” “Would I be embarrassed if they knew that I was talking about them?”Gossip is charged with intrigue
Maimonides says that “people who habitually gossip will end up denying G‑d.” Gossip makes the small mind grow smaller. G‑d becomes less relevant. “What’s G‑d got to do with it? I care about what he said, what she said.”
In biblical times, there was a spiritual ailment called tzaraat, leprosy. One of the classical triggers for contracting tzaraat was speaking lashon hara, gossip. Once the mistake was rectified, the tzaraat healed. Although gossip is a common human vice, the consequence of tzaraat was quite severe. Not only was the leper considered to be impure, but the things that he came in contact with would also become impure.
The Mishnah gives the following scenario: If a leper walks into his friend’s home, the vessels in the home become immediately impure. Rabbi Yehudah says, however, that the owner of the home does have the opportunity to asks the leper to leave before his vessels become impure. And what is the homeowner’s window of time before it’s too late? The amount of time that it would take to light a candle.2
The commentators question Rabbi Yehuda’s timeframe. Lighting a candle is a momentary action, not a very generous timeframe to give to the unfortunate homeowner. He has to realize that the leper has walked through his doors and ask him to leave, all within a miniscule amount of time. The commentators conclude that Rabbi Yehudah is referring to lighting not an ordinary candle, but a Shabbat candle. Lighting Shabbat candles is a focused and uninterrupted process that can take several minutes to complete. Hence, the homeowner has enough time to ask the leper to leave before his own vessels become impure.
To a mystic, a simple teaching contains layers of meaning. Nothing in the Torah is simple or technical. The mystic looks for hidden references, the code to an entirely new dimension of understanding.
The Rebbe’s father, Rabbi Levi Yitzchak Schneerson, was one such mystic. He was a brilliant Torah scholar and the charismatic head rabbi of the cosmopolitan city of Dnepropetrovsk, Ukraine. To Rabbi Levi Yitzchak, the fact that Shabbat candles are used to gauge the homeowner’s timeframe is more than a technical calculation. Shabbat candles, he explains, are the perfect antidote to tzaraat. As long as a person is involved in lighting Shabbat candles, he will be immune from thetzaraat affliction. Here’s the Kabbalistic logic behind it: Tzaraat is a consequence of the loss of ohr ha-chochmah, “the illumination of wisdom.”3 In other words, the leper has a dimmed consciousness; the light of his intellect has been withdrawn. Lighting Shabbat candles, on the other hand, draws down the ohr ha-chochmah, illuminating and The leper has a dimmed consciousnessexpanding the consciousness of the one who lights the candles, her home, and the universe at large. When a person is busy with kindling Shabbat light, lights of greater consciousness, she won’t be contaminated by the impurity of tzaraat, limited consciousness.
Mitzvahs are compared to a candle, and Torah to light.4 Mitzvahs light up our perspective, exposing the hand of G‑d behind the veil of the mundane. And according to the Zohar, the mitzvah that is most illuminating of all is the mitzvah of Shabbat candles!5 While all mitzvahs draw down a more illuminated consciousness, the Shabbat candles do so quite literally. That physical light is a tangible display of the metaphysical light that comes from the mitzvah. In essence, Shabbat candles are the symbol for all of Judaism.
The Talmud describes the mitzvah to light a candle for Shabbat in pragmatic terms. On Shabbat, lighting a fire is prohibited, so we are commanded to light a candle just before sunset so that no one will trip over stones or tree branches. The candles thus bring shalom bayit, peace in the home.6 But why does the Talmud single out stones and trees? Isn’t it enough to say that the candles light up the home so that no one trips?
The Rebbe senses a deeper message: The Talmud doesn’t want us tripping over stones and wood, the materials that were used to fashion idols. Idol-worship is disrespectful because it gives credit where credit isn’t due. And although today we aren’t tempted to serve idols of stone, we are impressed by other idols: money, intellect, power, fame. The stuff that runs “without” G‑d’s help. So, the Talmud says, if you add light—develop an enlightened consciousness—you’ll see that the idols are the matrix G‑d uses to orchestrate our lives in a meaningful way. And that awareness is what will bring true shalom bayit.
As long as you are busy lighting Idol worship is disrespectful because it gives credit where credit isn’t duethe Shabbat candles, says Rabbi Yehudah, the impurity of tzaarat won’t overwhelm you. It will stay at the doorstep, but it won’t invade your household. So long as you are flooded with G‑d consciousness, the tzaraat consciousness won’t get to you.7
The Lubavitcher Rebbe campaigned for all Jewish girls and women to light Shabbat candles. Over the years, I’ve had opportunity to share the mitzvah of Shabbat candles with women I’ve met on planes, in parks, in supermarkets and in my home. When I meet a Jewish woman and I don’t have a Shabbat-candle brochure on me, I think of the American Express slogan, “Next time, don’t leave home without it!”
A prominent women was travelling to Israel with loads of Shabbat-candle brochures in her suitcase. “Yesh lach neshek?” (“Do you have ammunition?”) asked the El Al security agent. Thinking he was referring to the common acronym used for Shabbat-candle brochures, NeSheK—for neirot Shabbat Kodesh, sacred Shabbat candles—she replied enthusiastically, “Of course!” The security guards were promptly called, and she was whisked away for further interrogation.
The Rebbe explains that the acronym NeSheK, which literally means “ammunition,” is a fitting reference to Shabbat candles, because those candles truly are a Jewish woman’s ammunition to protect her home—adding more light and enlightened consciousness each Friday.
Rochel is a mother of four children and the co-director of Chabad of Las Olas, FL serving the community of young professionals. She is a high school teacher and a freelance writer—and a frequent contributor to Chabad.org. She lectures extensively on topics of Kabbalah and feminism, and their application to everyday life. Rochel holds an MS in Brain Research from Nova SE University.
Artwork by James Stock. View more of James’ artwork, or purchase prints at Hassidicpaintings.com.au.
FOOTNOTES
1.This quote is often attributed to Eleanor Roosevelt.
2.Negaim, chapter 13.
3.See Likutei Torah, Parshat Metzora.
4.Proverbs 6:23.
5.Zohar 2:166a.
6.Talmud, Shabbat 23b.
7.Likkutei Sichot, vol. 17, p. 141.
© Copyright 2014, all rights reserved.
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Parshah
Birth and Rebirth by Tali Loewenthal
Birth and rebirth are the themes of this Shabbat. This is both because of the content of the Torah reading and because of the time of the year on the Jewish calendar.
The Parshah opens with the laws concerning a woman who conceives and bears a child. The ceremonies surrounding the great event, and the idea of the brit milah, the covenant of circumcision, which brings a Jewish infant boy into his special bond with G‑d, are explained. The sages tell us that a girl is considered to have been born circumcised. Thus, every Jew enters the world with a special divine bond and responsibility.
The joy of birth is expressed by the fact that in Temple times, the happy mother would bring an offering to the Temple as thanksgiving to G‑d, as described in the Parshah.The experience of Exile is compared to a state of pregnancy
It is appropriate that this Torah reading is read in or in proximity to the month of Nissan, a joyous month inextricably linked with Passover and the redemption from Egypt. This event was the actual birth of the Jewish people. The Exodus is described in these terms by the prophet Ezekiel. He uses the allegory of birth to describe the whole experience of the Jewish people leaving Egypt, wandering in the desert while putting their trust only in G‑d, and then their subsequent development into a mature nation serving G‑d through Torah and its commandments.1
We also find Torah teachings comparing our later experience of exile to a state of pregnancy. The unborn child is fully formed, but it is not yet functioning as a normal human being. It has eyes and ears, but it cannot see or hear. In the same way we, the Jewish people, are not able to function properly with our full spiritual stature and sensitivity. While still in exile, we hopefully carry out the mitzvot—but we are not really aware of their importance. For this reason, many people do not as yet keep all the mitzvot which they should. If we had the full awareness of a mature person, we would eagerly keep every mitzvah in sight!
As in the case of a mother expecting a baby that is due at any time, we too eagerly await the ultimate rebirth and renewal of the Jewish people and the world with the coming of the Messiah. The way towards this is through mitzvot, Torah study, and especially love of one’s fellow. Through this we will achieve both birth and rebirth, for the benefit of all humanity.
Dr. Tali Loewenthal is Lecturer in Jewish Spirituality at University College London, director of the Chabad Research Unit, author of Communicating the Infinite: The Emergence of the Habad School and a frequent contributor to the Chabad.org weekly Torah reading section.
About the artist: Sarah Kranz has been illustrating magazines, webzines and books (including five children’s books) since graduating from the Istituto Europeo di Design, Milan, in 1996. Her clients have included The New York Times and Money Marketing Magazine of London.
FOOTNOTES
1.Ezekiel 16. The text depicts sin, which leads to exile and then ultimately the Redemption.
© Copyright 2014, all rights reserved.
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• The Price of Free Speech (By Rabbi Jonathan Sacks)
Hannah Smith was a fourteen-year-old schoolgirl living in Lutterworth, Leicestershire. Bright and outgoing, she enjoyed an active social life and seemed to have an exciting future ahead of her. On the morning of August 2, 2013, Hannah was found hanged in her bedroom. She had committed suicide.
Seeking to unravel what had happened, her family soon discovered that she had been the target of anonymous abusive posts on a social-network website. Hannah was a victim of the latest variant of the oldest story in human history: the use of words as weapons by those seeking to inflict pain. The new version is called cyberbullying.Hannah was found hanged in her bedroom
The Jewish phrase for this kind of behavior is lashon hara, evil speech, speech about people that is negative and derogatory. It means, quite simply, speaking badly about people, and is a subset of the biblical prohibition against spreading gossip.1
Despite the fact that it is not singled out in the Torah for a prohibition in its own right, the sages regarded it as one of the worst of all sins. They said, astonishingly, that it is as bad as the three cardinal sins—idolatry, murder and incest—combined. More significantly in the context of Hannah Smith, they said it kills three people: the one who says it, the one he says it about, and the one who listens in.2
The connection with this week’s Parshah is straightforward. Tazria and Metzora are about a condition called tzaraat, sometimes translated as leprosy. The commentators were puzzled as to what this condition is and why it should be given such prominence in the Torah. They concluded that it was precisely because it was a punishment for lashon hara, derogatory speech.
Evidence for this is the story of Miriam,3 who spoke slightingly about her brother Moses “because of the Ethiopian wife he had taken.” G‑d Himself felt bound to defend Moses’ honor, and as a punishment turned Miriam leprous. Moses prayed for G‑d to heal her. G‑d mitigated the punishment to seven days, but did not annul it entirely.
Clearly this was no minor matter, because Moses singles it out among the teachings he gives the next generation: “Remember what the L‑rd your G‑d did to Miriam along the way after you came out of Egypt.”4
Oddly enough, Moses himself, according to the sages, had been briefly guilty of the same offense. At the burning bush, when G‑d challenged him to lead the people, Moses replied, “They will not believe in me.”5 G‑d then gave Moses three signs: water that turned to blood, a staff that became a snake, and his hand briefly turning leprous. We find reference later in the narrative to water turning to blood and a staff turning into a serpent, but none to a hand that turns leprous.
The sages, ever alert to the nuances of the biblical text, said that the hand that turned leprous was not a sign but a punishment. Moses was being reprimanded for “casting doubts against the innocent” by saying that the Israelites would not believe in him. “They are believers the children of believers,” said G‑d according to the Talmud, “but in the end you will not believe.”6
How dangerous lashon hara can be is illustrated by the story of Joseph and his brothers. The Torah says that he “brought an evil report” to his father about some of his brothers.7 This was not the only provocation that led his brothers to plot to kill him and eventually sell him as a slave. There were several other factors. But his derogatory gossip did not endear him to his siblings.
No less disastrous was the “evil report” (dibbah: the Torah uses the The hand that turned leprous was not a sign but a punishmentsame word as it does in the case of Joseph) brought back by the spies about the land of Canaan and its inhabitants.8 Even after Moses’ prayers to G‑d for forgiveness, the report delayed entry into the land by almost forty years and condemned a whole generation to die in the wilderness.
Why is the Torah so severe about lashon hara, branding it as one of the worst of sins? Partly this has deep roots in the Jewish understanding of G‑d and the human condition. Judaism is less a religion of holy people and holy places than it is a religion of holy words.
G‑d created the universe by words: “And G‑d said, Let there be . . . and there was.” G‑d reveals himself in words. He spoke to the patriarchs and the prophets, and at Mount Sinai, to the whole nation. Our very humanity has to do with our ability to use language. The creation of homo sapiens is described in the Torah thus: “Then the L‑rd G‑d formed man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being.”9 The Targum renders the last phrase as “and the man became a speaking being.” Language is life. Words are creative, but also destructive. If good words are holy, then evil words are a desecration.
One sign of how seriously Judaism takes this is the prayer we say at the end of every Amidah, at least three times a day: “My G‑d, guard my tongue from evil and my lips from deceitful speech. To those who curse me let my soul be silent; may my soul be to all like the dust.” Having prayed to G‑d at the beginning to “open my lips so that my mouth may declare Your praise,” we pray to Him at the end to help us close our lips so that we do not speak badly about others, nor react when others speak badly about us.
Despite everything, however—despite the Torah’s prohibition of gossip, despite its stories about Joseph, Moses, Miriam and the spies, despite the unparalleled strictures against evil speech by the sages—lashon hara remained a problem throughout Jewish history, and still does today. Every leader is subject to it. The sages said that when Moses left his tent early in the morning, people would say, “You see, he has had a row with his wife.” If he left late they would say, “He is plotting against us.”10
Anyone from CEO to parent to friend who seeks to be a leader has to confront the issue of lashon hara. Firstly, he or she may have to put up with it as the price of any kind of achievement. Some people are envious. They gossip. They build themselves up by putting other people down. If you are in any kind of leadership position, you may have to live with the fact that behind your back—or even before your face—people will be critical, malicious, disdainful, vilifying and sometimes downright dishonest. This can be hard to bear. Having known many leaders in many fields, I can testify to the fact that not all people in the public eye have a thick skin. Many of them are very sensitive and can find constant, unjust criticism deeply draining.
If you should ever suffer this, the best advice is given by Maimonides: “If a person is scrupulous in his conduct, gentle in his conversation, pleasant toward his fellow creatures, affable in manner when receiving them, not responding even when affronted, but showing courtesy to all, even to those who treat him with disdain . . . such a person has sanctified G‑d, and about him Scripture says, ‘You are my servant, Israel, in whom I will be glorified’ (Isaiah 49:3).”11
That is in relation to lashon hara directed against yourself. As for the group as a whole, however, you should practice zero tolerance toward lashon hara. Allowing people to speak badly about one another will eventually destroy the integrity of the group. Evil speech generates negative energies. Within the group, it sows the seeds of distrust and envy. Directed outside the group, it can lead to arrogance, self-righteousness, racism and prejudice, all of which are fatal to the moral credibility of any team. Whether or not you are the leader of such a group, you must politely make it clear that you will have nothing to do with this kind of speech, and that it has no place in your conversations.
Cyberbullying is the latest Evil speech generates negative energiesmanifestation of lashon hara. In general, the Internet is the most effective distributor of hate speech ever invented. Not only does it make targeted communication so easy, but it also bypasses the face-to-face encounter that can sometimes induce shame, sensitivity and self-control. Greek myth told the story of Gyges’ ring that had the magical property of making whoever wore it invisible, so that he or she could get away with anything.12 Social media that enable people to post anonymous comments or adopt false identities are as near as anyone has yet come to inventing a Gyges’ ring. That is what is so dangerous about it.
The story of Hannah Smith and other teenage suicides is a tragic reminder of how right the sages were to reject the idea that “words can never harm me,” and insist to the contrary that evil speech kills. Free speech is not speech that costs nothing. It is speech that respects the freedom and dignity of others. Forget this, and free speech becomes very expensive indeed.
All of which helps us to understand the biblical idea of tzaraat. The peculiar property of tzaraat—whether as a skin disease, a discoloration of garments, or mold on the walls of a house—is that it was immediately and conspicuously visible. People engage in lashon hara because, like wearers of Gyges’ ring, they think they can get away with it. “It wasn’t me. I never said it. I didn’t mean it. I was misunderstood.” The Torah is here telling us that malicious speech uttered in private is to be stigmatized in public, and those who engage in it are to be openly shamed.
To put it at its simplest: as we behave to others, so G‑d behaves to us. Do not expect G‑d to be kind to those who are unkind to their fellow humans.
Rabbi Jonathan Sacks is the former Chief Rabbi of Great Britain and the British Commonwealth. To read more writings and teachings by Lord Rabbi Jonathan Sacks, or to join his e‑mail list, please visit www.rabbisacks.org.
FOOTNOTES
1.Leviticus 19:16.
2.See Mishneh Torah, Hilchot De’ot 7:3.
3.Numbers 12:1.
4.Deuteronomy 24:9, and see Ibn Ezra ad loc.
5.Exodus 4:1.
6.Talmud, Shabbat 97a.
7.Genesis 37:2.
8.Numbers 13:32.
9.Genesis 2:7.
10.See Rashi to Deuteronomy 1:12.
11.Mishneh Torah, Hilchot Yesodei ha-Torah 5:11.
12.See Plato, The Republic, book 2, 359a–360d.
© Copyright 2014, all rights reserved.
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• Tazria in a Nutshell
The Parshah of Tazria continues the discussion of the laws of tumah v’taharah, ritual impurity and purity.
A woman giving birth should undergo a process of purification, which includes immersing in a mikvah (a naturally gathered pool of water) and bringing offerings to the Holy Temple. All male infants are to be circumcised on the eighth day of life.
Tzaraat (often mistranslated as “leprosy”) is a supra-natural plague, which also can afflict garments. If white or pink patches appear on a person’s skin (dark red or green in garments), a kohen is summoned. Judging by various signs, such as an increase in size of the afflicted area after a seven-day quarantine, the kohen pronounces it tamei (impure) or tahor (pure).
A person afflicted with tzaraat must dwell alone outside of the camp (or city) until he is healed. The afflicted area in a garment is removed; if the tzaraat spreads or recurs, the entire garment must be burned.
© Copyright 2014, all rights reserved.
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VIDEO
Target of Opportunity: The Beilis Blood Libel
In the Beilis trial of 1913, false accusations of ritual murder were leveled against the Jewish people generally, and the chassidic movement specifically. This documentary vividly reconstructs the events as they unfolded, through a series of interviews with experts, alongside period photographs and press clippings.
Watch (37:03)
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More in Video:
• The Mechanism of Ownership (By Binyomin Bitton)
http://www.chabad.org/multimedia/media_cdo/aid/2489868/jewish/The-Mechanism-of-Ownership.htm
<script language="javascript" type="text/javascript" src="http://embed.chabad.org/multimedia/mediaplayer/embedded/embed.js.asp?aid=2489868&width=auto&height=auto"></script><div style="clear:both;">Visit <a href="http://www.chabad.org/multimedia/default_cdo/aid/591213/jewish/Video.htm">Jewish.TV</a> for more <a href="http://www.chabad.org/multimedia/default_cdo/aid/591213/jewish/Video.htm">Jewish videos</a>.</div>
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• Sanctifying Time (Aaron L. Raskin)
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WOMEN
Can Modesty Please Take a Stand?
Society places great value on externality; consequently, the sacred Jewish value of internalization has become so elusive. by Chana Weisberg
If I had to encapsulate the challenge of our times in one word, it would be “externality.”
We live in a superficial world. We vie for attention, campaigning and promoting ourselves to ensure that we are seen, heard and noticed. Society places great value on externality; consequently, the sacred Jewish value of internalization has become so elusive.
Have we lost the concept of inner dignity and refinement? Of quiet confidence? The unassuming pride of knowing who we are, without the need for constant affirmation?Society places great value on externality
Is it any wonder, then, that the Jewish concept of tzniut, modesty, has so many people so perplexed?
A Definition of Tzniut: Inner Worth Versus External Affirmation
I read an article on this topic not too long ago. The author wrote that as Jewish women, we cover ourselves up externally in order to “call attention to and expose our internal” talents and selves.
I read that line over and over, because it disturbed me.
It is true that the laws of tzniut have the positive effect of taking away the emphasis from one’s external form, perforce drawing attention to other areas. Rather than seeing the individual as a mere body, we become aware of her internal dimensions, like her personality, intelligence and talents.
Nevertheless, I don’t think that the point of tzniut is to expose or call attention to anything at all.
Tzniut literally means hidden, not “in your face.” This refers not only to the external self, but also the internal dimension. To males as well as females.
It means self-respect, self-refinement, and a definition of self that is not predicated upon others’ approval. It is an honest evaluation and realization of one’s self-worth and mission in life.
And it means acting with that Tzniut is a measure of self-respect and refinementrecognition in one’s dress, speech and action.
The greatest leaders of our people, both men and women, had this elusive quality of “hiddenness.” They didn’t deny nor hide their talents and greatness, but neither did they display them. They accomplished what they did without self-aggrandizement or recognition, simply because they knew this was what their Creator expected of them.
So, when I read the article expressing how we cover ourselves up physically in order to expose our internal attributes, it sounded like a more refined way of buying into the pervading secular value system. The point is not to seek attention at all, even attention to your inner qualities.
More than just being a set of laws, tzniut is a measure of self-respect and refinement reflected in the laws governing our clothing, speech and deeds. It demands that we fortify ourselves and our homes with a dignified innerness in a world that screams cheap externalism.
And it is a challenge and a gift that has specifically been entrusted to the Jewish woman.
The Feminine Vision: Safeguarding, Nurturing and Redeeming
Ever since the sixth day of creation, when the first man came into being, his drive has been conquest. His role is an external one: vanquish the darkness; reshape physical matter by winnowing, plowing and harvesting.
Ever since she came to be, as a “helpmate opposite him,” the woman’s spiritual and emotional self has been defined by safeguarding, protecting, nurturing and redeeming. Her role is an internal one. She finds the grain of harmony and unity, the expression of G‑dliness that is hidden within creation.
Despite many advances in our society, it is painful to see how the feminine role and mode has been misunderstood and exploited. The road to her success in this man’s world is often predicated upon losing her inner sense of worth and selfhood as a woman.
In Judaism, by Women are more educated and articulate than ever beforecontrast, the feminine vision is far more central. Those very things that we love and cherish are protected. Marriage, our strongest armor, is sanctified, holy. Relationships between the genders aren’t casual, but purposeful. And the Jewish woman, too, is safeguarded, rather than cheapened; portrayed as refined and dignified, the mainstay of all that we hold dear as a nation.
There is so much depth to the words of our sages, “The honor of the king’s daughter rests within.”1
Slowly, slowly, the feminine perspective is penetrating our society. We now realize that we can achieve far more through dialogue and education than through force and conquest, through innerness rather than externality. And we have come to understand that a woman can excel in any profession of her choice, while still valuing and prioritizing her home life.
But her voice is still not fully expressed. Only in the era of Moshiach, when nekeivah tesovev gever,2 when the feminine will supersede the masculine, will we fully appreciate the value of inwardness that her very being encapsulates.
And so, we need to find appropriate expression for her feminine voice. We cannot exploit femininity by cheapening her, nor can we distort the meaning of tzniut by quieting her essential message.
Finding the Feminine Perspective
Today, women are more educated and articulate than ever before. As women, we must use our expertise and talents to give back to our communities. And as a community, we must encourage women to assume leadership positions. For how can we expect to effectively instill and promote this inner perspective, without providing an appropriate platform for the feminine voice?
So, we have our work cut out for us.
In a world that values self-aggrandizement and self-promotion, we need to promote inner values.
In a world that adores cheap externality, we need to teach our girls—and boys—to develop self-respect and personal confidence.
In a world that venerates aggressive self-assurance, we need to demonstrate soft strength. As well as the strength of softness.
And we need to do it all in our uniquely feminine, inwardly regal—and modest—way.
Chana Weisberg is the editor of TheJewishWoman.org. She lectures internationally on issues relating to women, relationships, meaning, self-esteem and the Jewish soul. She is the author of five popular books.
FOOTNOTES
1.Psalms 45:14.
2.Jeremiah 31:21.
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More in Women:• Chalkboard of Life (By Chana Scop)
When I was in second grade, I remember my teacher assigning classroom tasks to keep our class organized, clean and functioning well, giving the students a chance to be responsible.
My favorite task was erasing the chalkboards.
I’m not sure why, but I would imagine it had something to do with the gratifying feeling of perfectly aligning each swipe of the chalkboard eraser, creating clean, smooth lines. I remember trying to limit the dust which automatically filtered into the classroom air in light puffs of white powder—the remnants of the day’s work. It very much resonates with me todayI think I found comfort in knowing the following day would start anew, with fresh handwriting on the chalkboard, giving us insight into all subjects of life.
Many years later, as a mother of a special little boy, I think about this childhood experience, and I realize that it very much resonates with me today.
The chalkboard of life.
Our days are filled with challenge, emotions and milestones. Laughter, tears, frustration, hopes and dreams.
Our chalkboards are decorated with sensitive subjects, with detailed questions and answers to explore, with script that on some days may be entirely illegible. Illegible because sometimes there is no time to pause, no time to take that breath. And we must keep on writing, keep on advocating, keep on believing.
But then, something beautiful occurs. For me, it is at the end of the day, when I sit in my children’s room and say the Shema prayer with them. It is my tool, my eraser, that gently wipes clean that day’s chalkboard. It is the very personal task of I try to limit the dusterasing the day’s hardships and choosing to keep all that inspired me, all that changed me and all that helped us grow together as a family.
As I smooth out the lines, I try to limit the dust, the remaining puffs of heartache, longing, and often personal failures of the mother I strive to be. I take a minute to stand back, looking at my chalkboard, looking at my peaceful, sleeping children. And I smile.
Not because I love the task of erasing my chalkboard, but because when I awake in the morning, I will start fresh. With new chalk. With new dreams.
My very own chalkboard of life, in my very own school of thought. Filled with subjects of all kinds, and dreams of every nature.
Chana is a proud wife and mother of seven living in Mill Valley, California. She is inspired by the colors and textures of everyday life, and loves sharing her creative ideas with her community. Chana writes DIY projects, crafts and recipes celebrating her Jewish life and shlichus on her blog Chana’s Art Room, and is the co-director of Chabad of Mill Valley with her husband, Rabbi Hillel Scop. To read more about Chaim Boruch, and Chana’s journey, take a look at her personal special needs blog: Life of Blessing.
© Copyright 2014, all rights reserved.
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YOUR QUESTIONS
Why Is Elijah the Prophet Invited to the Seder?
There are multiple reasons and meanings behind the age-old tradition of pouring Elijah a cup of wine and opening the door. Here are some of them. by Naftali Silberberg
After the conclusion of the Seder’s Grace After Meals, there is a universally accepted custom to pour a cup of wine (the “Cup of Elijah”), open the front door of the home, and recite several verses (mostly from Psalms) wherein we beseech G‑d to pour His wrath upon our persecutors and oppressors.
According to tradition, at this moment our homes are graced by the presence of Elijah the prophet. There are multiple reasons and meanings behind this age-old tradition. Here are some of them:
Opening the Door for Elijah
1) The Torah describes the night of Passover as leil shimurim,1 a “guarded night.” It is the night when long ago G‑d protected the Jews from the plague which slew all the Egyptian firstborn, and the night when G‑d’s protection over His chosen nation is most apparent. Opening the door expresses our trust in G‑d’s protection.
2) When opening the door, we take the opportunity to invite in the prophet Elijah. Elijah is the one who visits the circumcision ceremony of every Jewish child, and testifies that the Jewish people are scrupulous regarding the mitzvah of circumcision.2 Males were permitted to partake of the paschal offering only if they were circumcised. Thus, Elijah comes to the Seder to “testify” that all present are indeed circumcised.
Additionally, according to the Midrash, on the night prior to the Exodus, the Seder night, the entire Jewish male population circumcised themselves—in order to be eligible to eat from the paschal lamb. Thus the clear connection between circumcision, and Elijah, and Passover eve.
Cup of Elijah
1) There is an open question in the Talmud whether we are obligated to have four or five cups on the night of Passover. Since the issue was never resolved, we pour a fifth cup, but do not drink it.
After heralding the coming of the Messiah, one of Elijah’s tasks will be to resolve all hitherto unanswered halachic questions. Thus, this fifth cup whose status is in doubt is dubbed “Elijah’s Cup,” in anticipation of the insight he will shed on the matter.
2) The four cups correspond to the four “expressions of redemption” promised by G‑d: “I will take you out from the suffering of Egypt, and I will deliver you from their bondage; I will redeem you with an outstretched arm and with great judgments. I will take you to Myself as a nation . . .”3 The fifth cup corresponds to the fifth expression of redemption, which comes in the following verse: “I will bring you to the Land . . .” This expression, however, is an allusion to the future messianic redemption, which will be announced by Elijah. This is also why we do not drink, “enjoy,” the fifth cup—as we have not yet experienced this redemption.
The timing of the pouring of the “Cup of Elijah” is also apropos, right before we start reading the Hallel, whose focus is on the future redemption (see Why do we divide the Hallel into two at the Passover Seder?). After commemorating the very first redemption of the Jewish people from Egypt we express our hope and firm belief in the coming of Moshiach, who will usher in the new and final redemption very very soon.
Refer to the following links for more information on these topics:
Elijah
Opening the Door for Elijah
Elijah’s Cup
Four Cups
A kosher and happy Passover to you and yours!
Rabbi Naftali Silberberg,
Chabad.org
Rabbi Naftali Silberberg is a writer, editor, and director of the curriculum department at the Rohr Jewish Learning Institute. Rabbi Silberberg resides in Brooklyn, NY, with his wife Chaya Mushka and their three children.
FOOTNOTES
1.Exodus 12:42.
2.This task was delegated to Elijah after he informed G‑d: “The children of Israel have forsaken Your covenant” (I Kings 19:10,14). G‑d’s response? “How dare you cast aspersions on My children! You will be in attendance when every Jewish child is entered into the covenant!”
3.Exodus 6:6–7.
© Copyright 2014, all rights reserved.
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More in Your Questions:
• What’s the Future of Judaism? (By Yisroel Cotlar)
In asking this question, I assume you are referring to the many obstacles facing Judaism in the 21st century: the high intermarriage rate . . . assimilation . . . the crisis in the Middle East . . .
But whenever I’m asked about these issues, I turn back the clock seventy years. Imagine this question being asked then. Six million Jews had just been massacred. Our nation was without a homeland. Jews in the West were losing their identity, and Jews in the East were forbidden to practice their religion.
And who would have thought that seventy years later . . .
Israel would be a thriving country populated by so many Jews.
Communism would fall, allowing Jews the freedom to practice their religion openly.
The baal teshuvah (“return to roots”) movement would sweep the world, bringing tens of thousands of Jews back to their heritage.
Our cities would be full of kosher Chinese restaurants, luxury mikvahs, and a whole variety of CDs and DVDs with Jewish content.
And so, as I look to the future, I envision more and more Jews rediscovering their religion. I see old synagogues rebuilt in Europe, and state-of-the-art synagogues built in the newest suburbs and developments. I dream about Jews thirsty for inspiration and meaning. And I picture a high-tech world full of Torah—from the Internet to the iPod.
But most of all, I envision the day when all of humanity will live together in peace and harmony. “A nation will not lift up sword against another nation,” because in the days of the messianic era, “the entire world will be filled with the knowledge of G‑d as water covers the seabed . . .”
Click here for more about the messianic era.
Yours truly,
Rabbi Yisroel Cotlar
Rabbi Yisroel Cotlar is a Chabad rabbi in Cary, North Carolina. He is also a member of the Chabad.org Ask the Rabbi team.
All names of persons and locations or other identifying features referenced in these questions have been omitted or changed to preserve the anonymity of the questioners.
© Copyright 2014, all rights reserved.
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JEWISH HISTORY
Beruriah
A great Jewish woman whose wisdom, piety, and learning inspire us to this day. by Nissan Mindel
It is not very often that we find the name of a woman mentioned in the Talmud. Bruriah was one such exception, a great Jewish woman whose wisdom, piety, and learning inspire us to this day.
Beruriah lived about one hundred years after the destruction of the Second Beth Hamikdosh, which occurred in the year 70 CE. She was the daughter of the great Rabbi Chananiah ben Teradion, who was one of the "Ten Martyrs" whom the Romans killed for spreading the teachings of the Torah among the Jewish people.
When the Romans caught Rabbi Chananiah with a Torah scroll, they burnt him, his wife and a daughter. They wrapped the scroll about his body and put wet sponges around him so that he should not burn too quickly, but that his death should be long and painful. But Rabbi Chananiah remained staunch and steadfast to the very end. His Roman hangman was so inspired by the courage and faith of this great Jewish Sage, that he removed the sponges to ease his victim's suffering and jumped into the flames to burn and die with the saint.
Beruriah was not only the daughter of a great man but was also the wife of an equally great Sage, the saintly Rabbi Meir, one of the most important teachers of the Mishnah.
The Talmud tells us many stories about Beruriah. She studied three hundred matters pertaining to Halachah (Jewish law) every day, which would be quite an amazing feat for any scholar. Thus, the Sages frequently asked her views regarding matters of law, especially those laws which applied to women. For instance, the Sages had different opinions about the law of purity and asked Beruriah for her opinion. Rabbi Judah sided with her and recognized her authority.
There was another case where there was a dispute between Beruriah and her brother, Rabbi Simeon ben Teradion. One of the greatest authorities was asked to judge the case and he said: "Rabbi Chananiah's daughter Beruriah is a greater scholar than his son Rabbi Simon."
Beruriah was very well versed in the Holy Scriptures and could quote from them with ease. To illustrate what her character was like, we are told the following stories in the Talmud:
Beruriah had a sister who was spared by the Romans and carried off to the city of Antioch where they wanted to force her to live a life of shame. Beruriah urged her husband Rabbi Meir to take the great risk of going to Antioch and saving her sister. Not only did Rabbi Meir succed in freeing her, but he also made an investigation and managed to obtain witnesses, proving that his sister-in-law had remained pure, which was very important for her future. This investigation made it necessary for them all to flee from the Holy Land. Beruriah fled with her husband to Babylonia to share his exile with him there.
Another time, Rabbi Meir was very disturbed by the noisy, drunken parties of his neighbors. Their terrible behavior was such that they constantly interfered with his Torah study. In his anger, Rabbi Meir once prayed that G-d rid him of these wicked pests. Hearing him, Beruriah gently said to him: "The Psalmist says: 'May the sins disappear from the earth.' You see, the word is sins, not sinners. One should pray that evil disappear, then there will be no evildoers."
The most touching and most famous story about the piety, wisdom and courage of Beruriah describes the death of her two beloved sons. One Sabbath while Rabbi Meir was in the Beth Hamidrosh, sudden sickness struck their children and they passed away before anything could be done for them.
Beruriah covered them up in the bedroom and did not say a word to anyone. After nightfall Rabbi Meir returned from the House of Learning and asked for his sons. Casually, Beruriah remarked that they had gone out. She calmly prepared the Havdalah, the cup of wine, the light and the spices. She also distracted him while she prepared and served the Melaveh Malkah, the evening meal with which a Jew accompanies the departing "Sabbath Queen." Then, after Rabbi Meir had finished eating, Beruriah asked him for an answer to the following problem:
"Tell me, my husband, what shall I do? Some time ago something was left with me for safe-keeping. Now the owner has returned to claim it. Must I return it?"
"That is a very strange question indeed. How can you doubt the right of the owner to claim what belongs to him?" Rabbi Meir exclaimed in astonishment.
"Well, I did not want to return it without letting you know of it," replied Beruriah. She then led her husband into the bedroom where their two sons lay in their eternal sleep. She removed the bedcovers from their still bodies. Rabbi Meir, seeing his beloved sons, and realizing that they had passed away, burst out into bitter weeping.
"My dear husband," Beruriah gently reminded him. "Didn't you yourself say a moment ago that the owner has the right to claim his property? G-d gave and has taken away; blessed be the name of G-d."
© Copyright 2014, all rights reserved.
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STORY
The Sages in the Princess’s Chamber
They had no other choice but to petition the emperor. However, that would place them in danger of being penalized even before reaching the emperor and presenting their petition.
Photo: Ali Taylor
At the time when the Roman armies conquered and ruled the Land of Israel, they set forth three new decrees. Their intentions were specifically to target and destroy Jewish identity. The decrees were that no one can: keep Shabbat (Saturday) sacred; circumcise their sons; or keep the laws of family purity. They realized that if these decrees would be successfully enforced, this would destroy the Jewish people as a nation and assure their assimilation.
The sage Rabbi Reuven, deeply concerned with the situation, decided to take action. He had his hair cut in the same style as the Roman officials (which normally is forbidden), and then took a seat among officials participating in their discussions.
When these new decrees came up for discussion, he inquired, “Why should we make the Jews work an extra day (Saturday)? Another day of work creates commerce, and brings wealth and strength to them.” So, accepting the logic of his argument, they nullified the decree. Continuing to play on their prejudice and misconception, he added rhetorically, “Doesn’t circumcision weaken the body? Why should we strengthen our enemy?” This decree was likewise nullified.
He then used a similar argument: “Why are we seeking to multiply their numbers by forcing cohabitation even during the menstrual period?” They nullified the third decree as well.
The news spread quickly, and caused much relief and joy to the Jewish people. However, unfortunately, this joy was shortlived, for the Roman officials realized that this new official that no one really recognized engaged only in discussions concerning the Jewish people, encouraging arguments to nullify their decrees. They came to the conclusion that he must have been an imposter, a Jew who had the gall to disguise himself and fool them. Immediately they reinstated the decrees, with no more discussions to be held on this matter.
The sages of Israel had no other choice but to petition the emperor. However, now that the Roman officers were enraged at their audacity, this meant that the petitioners would be in danger of being penalized and harmed, even before having the opportunity of reaching the emperor and presenting their petition. They therefore chose to send as their messenger the great sage Rabbi Shimon bar Yochai, for he was sustained by miracles for the 13 years that he fled the officials and was hiding in a cave. Perhaps in his merit another miracle would occur and the Jewish people would be spared. The custom was to send two petitioners, so they sent Rabbi Eliezer bar Rabbi Yosei to accompany him.
As they were entering Rome, an evil spirit greeted Rabbi Shimon bar Yochai and inquired of him, “Should I join you?” Rabbi Shimon was pained, saying, “Why should the salvation of the Jews people come from this spirit and not from an angel?” but on the other hand he rejoiced, saying, “Wherever the salvation will come from, it is welcomed.” He then instructed the spirit to go ahead of them. The spirit entered the emperor’s daughter’s body, and she became demented. The only clear words that she said were “Bring the sage Rabbi Shimon bar Yochai, that he may pray on my behalf.”
When he arrived at the palace, he was immediately taken to the princess’s room. He then instructed the spirit to leave her unharmed. In appreciation of having his daughter saved, the emperor offered to bring Rabbi Shimon into the private treasury room and grant him his any wish. Rabbi Shimon looked around until he saw the document bearing these decrees; he took the document and ripped it up, thereby nullifying the decrees.
We see to what great extent our sages went in order to preserve the commandment of brit milah.
(Talmud, Meilah 17a–b)
© Copyright 2014, all rights reserved.
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THE REBBE
The Rebbe’s Attention for a Young Girl
After all this time the Rebbe never forgot me, and I felt that I meant so much to him that he would even be discussing me with his mother.
Mrs. Yehudis Engel
Mrs. Yehudis Engel
I was born and raised in Williamsburg. When I was a little girl, my father was involved with the Malachim, an insular chassidic group. The men never looked at women. I remember one of them eating a Shabbos meal at our house, and he covered his face with a napkin so that he wouldn’t have to look at my mother.
Eventually my father left this group. I was a little girl when this happened, so I don’t know the reason, but he joined Chabad. And that’s when I discovered how differently the Rebbe related to girls and to women.
I remember one Shabbos—it would have been in 1954. The Rebbe had just completed a farbrengen, a chassidic gathering, where he would speak on Torah topics for several hours.
I was ten years old at the time, and I was standing near the door of the Rebbe’s study. As he walked out and saw me standing there, he stopped, turned to me and asked: “Did you say l’chaim at the farbrengen?”As he walked out and saw me standing there, he stopped, turned to me and asked: “Did you say l’chaim at the farbrengen?”
“I did not,” I answered.
“Why not?” he gently asked.
“Because a girl doesn’t say l’chaim,” I said.
“Why not?” he persisted.
To this I had no answer, so the Rebbe just smiled and continued on.
Four weeks later—it was also a Shabbos—was the next time the Rebbe held a farbrengen. At that time, the farbrengens would take place in the courtyard beside 770. I was standing at the back, behind the men, when suddenly a man handed me a cup and said, “The Rebbe gave this for you; he said you should say l’chaim.” That was the Rebbe’s way: he remembered a conversation he had with a little girl in the hallway a month earlier and, between his addresses on the loftiest topics, he remembered to give her a l’chaim.
On another occasion, it was at the end of one of the major Jewish holidays. After havdalah, the ceremony concluding the festival, each man would pass by the Rebbe, and the Rebbe would pour out a bit of wine from his cup, with a short blessing to each person. It was called kos shel berachah. The farbrengen was held in the small synagogue on the first floor at 770, and I was in the back room, where there was a little window high up above a bookcase. I could perch there and see into the shul.“The Rebbe gave this for you; he said you should say l’chaim.”
At the end of the farbrengen, my father went up to receive kos shel berachah from the Rebbe. And the Rebbe asked my father if I was there. My father said I was. “Where?” the Rebbe wanted to know. My father pointed up at the window where I was sitting. And the Rebbe said, “Let her come down and get kos shel berachah.” So I climbed down from the bookcase, came inside the men’s section, and the Rebbe gave me kos shel berachah from his hand.
As I grew up, I realized the high regard in which the Rebbe held the women—he always treated us as individuals, seeing us as full partners with our husbands as Chabad’s emissaries in the world. I can attest to this from the many incidents that happened in my own life.
When I was engaged, I went with my mother to see Rebbetzin Chana, the Rebbe’s mother, to bring her an invitation to our wedding. While we were there, my mother mentioned to Rebbetzin Chana that after we got married we would be moving to Montreal. Rebbetzin Chana replied, “I know; my son told me.” So it was obvious that the Rebbe was discussing me—in other words, after all this time he never forgot me, and I felt that I meant so much to him that he would even be discussing me with his mother, which to me was amazing. His caring was just amazing.After all this time he never forgot me, and I felt that I meant so much to him that he would even be discussing me with his mother
Right after our wedding, my husband and I decided to give one of the gifts we had received for our wedding to the Rebbe’s institutions, as charity. My husband sent it in to the Rebbe, but the Rebbe sent it back. He wrote to my new husband that he could not accept it unless it also had his wife’s signature, indicating that she too agreed to give it.
On another occasion, my husband went to New York. The Rebbe gave him a blessing, but as he was walking away, the Rebbe called him back and said, “Why aren’t you asking for your wife?” So he asked for me, and the Rebbe gave him a separate blessing for me.
Our first assignment as emissaries of the Rebbe was in Montreal, where my husband worked as the principal of a Talmud Torah school. I also taught in that school. From time to time, my husband would send a report to the Rebbe, letting him what was happening at the school; he would mention the different teachers, and he would mention me and my class. At one point the Rebbe responded that he would prefer that I write myself rather than have my husband include me in his report. So I started writing on my own, and I received replies from the Rebbe.A little later that day, we got a call that the Rebbe wanted to know what was happening, because he hadn’t heard from us
Before I gave birth to my third child, the doctor wanted to induce delivery, because I was overdue. So my husband called the Rebbe’s office to ask for a blessing, and he gave the details of what was going on. But then, the morning after I gave birth, my husband had a health issue, and needed to be hospitalized himself, so he never called New York to let the Rebbe know that I gave birth and that everything was okay.
A little later that day, we got a call that the Rebbe wanted to know what was happening, because he hadn’t heard from us. So, of course, we responded right away with the good news that our son Mendy was born. But then the Rebbe heard of my husband’s condition, and he realized that he was in no shape to help out with the baby, so the he issued instructions that somebody should be found to be there when I came home.
The concern the Rebbe had for his women emissaries, his regard for them, was so high that he remembered the smallest details.
When my oldest daughter got married, we were standing outside the Rebbe’s room with her groom, waiting for the Rebbe to come out. As was the custom, the Rebbe would give the groom his prayerbook, and the groom would use it to pray the afternoon service on his wedding day.
The Rebbe came out, handed over his prayerbook, gave the groom a blessing and started to walk away. Then he turned around, pointed at me and said to the groom, “Since she is a daughter of a kohen, you should learn an extra tractate of the Talmud before marrying her daughter.”
At this point in 1984, the Rebbe had tens of thousands of followers—not hundreds, not thousands, but tens of thousands—yet he remembered this small detail about one woman, that she was a bas kohen.
Mrs. Yehudis Engel and her late husband, Rabbi Eliyahu Engel, served as Chabad emissaries in various locations in Canada, Australia and the United States. She was interviewed in the My Encounter studio in March 2013.
© Copyright 2014, all rights reserved.
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ART
Thirst
The piece “Thirst” was born of a question I’d been asking myself: “What constitutes a chassid?” by J. Anne Hamner
Acrylic on Canvas & Mixed Media
Artist’s Statement: The piece “Thirst” was born of a question I’d been asking myself: “What constitutes a chassid?”
Common associations are often based on the external characteristics, such as dress and specific forms of observance. I lean towards viewing “chassidic” as being an internal quality that manifests in raw action. In other words, a human might have a chassidic soul, but in appearance seem far from traditional.
There are many answers to this question, but at the core is a passion, a “thirst” to know G‑d. The individual in the painting is reading Torah and praying with a peaceful, yet passionate, demeanor. Though bright colorization is common to my style of art, in this piece it represents the brilliance and the myriad ways one might describe a chassidic soul.
J. Anne Hamner is a self-taught artist living in Orlando, Florida. She is passionate about the use of visual media to stream ideas through the filter of the human mind, body and soul. Her media preferences vary from color pencil to acrylics, pastels, watercolor, charcoal, etc.
© Copyright 2014, all rights reserved.
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COOKING
Tropical Fruity Salad with Citrus Avocado Dressing
Perfect for Passover by Miriam Szokovski
ou know that awesome creaminess that you get when you add chunks of avocado to a salad? It’s almost like a dressing in and of itself. So I figured, why not really make it into a dressing? Introducing . . . (drumroll, please) . . . my fabulous Avocado Citrus Dressing.
You can use this dressing on a variety of salads, but here I’ve paired it with lettuce, strawberries, oranges, purple onion and almonds. You can also add in some mango chunks if you like. To turn this salad into a full meal, throw in some diced chicken. The avocado dressing makes it very filling.
To make the dressing, you’ll need a food processor or high-powered blender. Blend the avocado, purple onion, lemon juice, orange juice, salt and sugar together until smooth and creamy.
You can store the dressing in an airtight container in the fridge for a couple of days, but not much longer, or it will turn brown. Make sure you use a really, really airtight container.
You can also prepare the salad a day or two in advance. Just cut up the lettuce, onion, orange and strawberries and put them in a Ziploc bag in the fridge, with all the air squeezed out. Dress the salad and add the nuts only immediately before serving, or else it will become soggy.
Salad Ingredients:
3 heads romaine lettuce, chopped
2 oranges, sliced
20 strawberries, sliced
1 small purple onion, sliced
¼ cup almonds, chopped
Dressing Ingredients:
1 avocado (180 grams)
½ small purple onion (45 grams)
2 tbsp. fresh lemon juice
½ cup fresh orange juice
1 tsp. sugar
1 tsp. salt
Directions:
Lightly toss the salad ingredients together. You can also add some mango, pomegranate seeds, or other fruit.
Put the dressing ingredients in the bowl of a food processor and blend until smooth and creamy.
Dress the salad immediately before serving.
Store dressing in an airtight container. Dressing lasts a couple of days in the fridge.
Serves 8–10.
Are you planning any interesting or unusual salads for Passover? Leave a comment and share your ideas.
Miriam Szokovski is the author of historical novel Exiled Down Under, and a member of the Chabad.org editorial team. She enjoys tinkering with recipes, and teaches cooking classes to young children. Miriam shares her love of cooking, baking and food photography on Chabad.org’s food blog, Cook It Kosher and in the N'shei Chabad Newsletter.
© Copyright 2014, all rights reserved.
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Jewish News
Nepal Seders Will Go On, Israeli Strike or No, Says Chabad Emissary
It seems that every year there are challenges to putting on the Kathmandu Passover Seder, the largest of its kind in the world, and this year it's a strike by employees at Israeli embassies around the world. But Chabad emissary Rabbi Chezky Lifshitz says that they'll find a way. They always do. by Dovid Margolin
Chabad-run seders in Nepal attract thousands of visitors a year, including ones in Kathmandu, one in Pokhara, pictured above, a city popular with tourists, and another one in Manang, a city high in the Himalayan mountains. (File photo: Chabad of Nepal)
An overcast sky hung above the honking and noisy mess that is Kathmandu, Nepal. It was not even a week before Passover, and Rabbi Chezky Lifshitz, the Chabad emissary to Nepal, was worried whether the supply shipment sent from Israel would arrive in time to prepare and feed the Kathmandu Passover Seder, the largest of its kind in the world.
When the Chabad center’s gates opened and the trucks containing the matzah, wine and other supplies rolled in, a surge of excitement ran through the dozens of Israeli expatriates milling around Kathmandu’s Jewish center’s courtyard. Passover was finally here.
That was in 2012, but it seems like every year, the world-famous seder high in the Himalayas faces an uphill battle to take place. In a country like Nepal and a city like Kathmandu, anything can happen, and Lifshitz, who together with his wife, Chani, organizes the four mass Passover Seders that take place across Nepal each year, is well-aware of that fact.
Yet this year, preparations for the Kathmandu Seder have been thrown into turmoil not by a homegrown, Nepalese quagmire—civil war has in the past gotten in the way of the annual Passover-supply shipment—but by a thoroughly Western problem: the Israeli foreign ministry, under whose aegis fall the staff of the Israeli embassy of Nepal, has gone on strike, and it is the embassy to whom each year the shipment of supplies is sent and with whose help the containers are retrieved. Therefore, this year, an Israeli foreign ministry spokesman said, the seder will not take place.
While Rabbi Lifshitz concedes that without the Israeli embassy in Nepal’s help, the containers will almost certainly not be allowed to leave port in India, where they are currently waylaid, canceling the seder is something he is not willing to accept.
“We are currently working through many options,” says Lifshitz over the phone from Nepal. “We are looking into baking matzah here or maybe sending supplies with a lot of people. I’m sure the seder will take place.”
The Passover experience in Nepal provides a host of opportunities for connections to Judaism by Israeli backpackers and tourists from around the world. (File photo: Chabad of Nepal)
Lifshitz notes that his biggest problem at this time is that his containers are currently being held in India, and it is an expensive venture to store the containers while the situation remains in limbo.
“We have to pay now for them to keep it,” says Lifshitz with a sigh. “But Hashem will help.”
Passover in the Himalayas
These days, the mass Passover seder in Kathmandu has become a tradition among Israeli backpackers who frequent the country, drawing around 1,500 participants each year. When the seder began in 1988, it drew 300 Israelis; today in Kathmandu, aside from the massive Hebrew-language seder, there is an English-language one geared at European and American tourists.
Chabad rabbinical students also run a seder in Pokhara, a city popular with tourists, and another one in Manang, a city high in the Himalayan mountains to which supplies must be airlifted by helicopter, before being trekked in on foot for the last leg of the journey.
For rabbinical students like Shmuli Levitin, center, standing and Shmuel Loebenstein, seated, the preparations themselves are a enriching experience. (File photo: Chabad of Nepal)
Shmuel Loebenstein was a rabbinical student when he made the trip to Nepal to assist with the seder in Pokhara in 2012. He remembers seeing the anxiously awaited trucks carrying Passover supplies finally enter through the Chabad House gates in Kathmandu before Passover, and the excitement that it generated.
“The Chabad House in Kathmandu is a gathering place for the Israelis at all times,” says Loebenstein. “There’s a hostel there, people are just sitting around strumming on guitars or smoking; they feel very comfortable there. When the truck pulled in, this great cheer rang out through the courtyard, and everyone instinctively got up to form a chain to help unpack these massive containers. It’s very surreal to be in this crazy land, surrounded by rapidly Hebrew-speaking Israelis and unpacking these boxes of familiar Israeli products.”
Loebenstein was also shocked by the sheer number of Israelis that he encountered—the Israeli ambassador to Nepal estimates that the number runs to 10,000 Israeli tourists annually.
“From Kathmandu I traveled to Pokhara,” he recalls. “The cities are only like 200 kilometers away from each other, but it takes eight hours to get there because of the condition of the roads. The entire time we kept on meeting more and more Israelis … on the bus, during stops on the road. There is a huge Israeli presence in the country, and from your first day, as a rabbinical student trying to invite as many people as you can to attend the seder, you see that you have your work cut out for you.”
Lots of kosher food has to be delivered from abroad and cooked for the holiday. (File photo: Chabad of Nepal)
Loebenstein’s seder in Pokhara, which he ran together with three other rabbinical students who had like him travelled there from New York, attracted 300 participants.
“We put up signs around Pokhara advertising the seder,” adds Loebenstein. “On the signs we also wrote that if you would like to come out to help, preparations would be taking place at this and this time. The time came, and these flip-flop-wearing Israelis came out in droves to help us. They sat around peeling vegetables, shelling eggs … whatever needed to be done, everyone wanted to help somehow.
“I remember looking down from the porch of my room and [seeing] this whole bunch of Israeli Jews, thousands of miles from home, sharing memories, talking about Nepal, about Passover back home; they felt at home. That really set the spirit of the whole Passover in Nepal.”
It is to keep this spirit of home and heritage alive, stresses Lifshitz, that the Kathmandu seder and its sister events throughout the country must take place.
“There have been many times when we have had problems arranging the sedarim,” he says. “But in the end, we have always had success, so we are not worried.”
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More in Jewish News:
• ‘Torah and Tea’ Taken Up All Over, in Honor of Rashi Minkowicz, 37 (By Menachem Posner)
The first "Torah and Tea" held in Flanders, N.J., sponsored by Fraida Shusterman, co-director of Chabad of Northwest New Jersey-Western Region.
“Ten minutes before 8 p.m. [on March 11], my wife Rashi sat at the head of the beautifully set dining-room table waiting for women to arrive for her weekly [Tuesday-night] class in our home called ‘Torah and Tea,’ ” writes Rabbi Hirshy Minkowicz, director of Chabad of North Fulton, near Atlanta.
Just before the first guest arrived, Rashi, a 37-year-old mother of eight, went to her room to rest due to a bad headache. She never woke up.
She was buried the next day.
The following Tuesday, the group met again to study and draw strength from their beloved rebbetzin. They were not alone. In well over 150 locations—from Australia to Mexico—“Torah and Teas” are being held and heralded, dedicated in her memory.
Chanala Rubenfeld says she hosted six women in her home in Chesterfield, Mo., where she and her husband direct a Chabad center. The event was modeled on Rashi’s format, where women get together in a homey atmosphere to sip tea, snack on pastries, and connect with each other and their common Jewish heritage.
For her first class, Rubenfeld led six women in a discussion on prayer. Her preparations were based on notes Rashi had prepared for a talk she gave and then shared with her fellow Chabad emissaries through an internal file and idea-sharing system, in which she was an active and valued contributor. In the coming weeks, Rubenfeld plans to shift to the weekly Torah portion as a springboard for conversation and growth.
Rashi Minkowicz
“I was amazed. The women really connected to Rashi, feeling that she was a living presence in the room as we studied,” says Rubenfeld, who did not know Rashi personally, but benefited from her recipes and programming ideas through mutual acquaintances. “I spoke about Rashi’s life a little bit and read a letter that she had written to her relatives about overcoming tragedy with joy.”
The letter reads (in part): “ … Obviously, we know what we need to do. Somehow we need to transform the energy of our crying into joy because joy is as productive as sadness is destructive. Both require energy … To be joyful in face of unbearable sadness is the hardest challenge of all … We continue to keep their spirit alive by smiling while we are weeping and by continuing to climb the arduous mountains that are put in our way … ”
Tributes Keep Coming
Other communities and individuals are holding various kinds of memorial events. Some women have reported that they have started holding “Torah and (Iced) Tea” with their own families in Rashi’s memory; others have dedicated challah-baking sessions and other Torah-based programs as a tribute.
Notes and letters written by children in North Fulton, Ga., describing how Rebbetzin Rashi Minkowicz has inspired their actions.
In Flanders, N.J., Fraida Shusterman, co-director of Chabad of Northwest N.J.-Western Region, says she will be welcoming women into her home for weekly study sessions. “We have had many women’s events that incorporated cooking and baking, as well as a Torah thought, but this is going to be our first time doing an exclusively Torah-oriented event,” says Shusterman who studied with Rashi at Bais Chaya Mushka Seminary in Montreal. “I sent out an email to 30 women and got an amazing response. Women whom I never thought would come to something like this are planning to attend.”
Back in North Fulton, Ga., Jocelyn Schorvitz says women from the community gathered to share Torah thoughts and “Rashi stories,” to be compiled into a scrapbook they hope to share with the eight Minkowicz children.
“It wasn’t a question in my mind,” says Schorvitz, who collaborated with Rashi on many local events in the 14 years that they knew each other. “We needed to get together. I knew that we would have a ‘Torah and Tea’; the question was just where and how.”
Women gathered last week at the Chabad House in North Fulton to share thoughts and "Rashi stories," to be compiled into a scrapbook for the Minkowicz children.
Last week’s class was held in the Chabad center, since the Minkowicz family was still in New York sitting shiva.
Schorvitz notes that she and other women will continue to host “Torah and Tea” at least twice a month, with rotating presenters from throughout the community.
This week’s class, on Tuesday, March 25, will be held in none other than Rashi’s own dining room. It will be led by her mother, Sara Lieberman—a high school teacher, lecturer and mother of 17—picking up where her daughter left off.
Children from Rashi's home town designed and made tzedakah boxes in her honor.
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• Mothers of Children With Special Needs Bond at Friendship Circle Retreat (By Ronelle Grier)
From left: Sarah Rosenzweig, Hayley Snyder and Tali Wendrow take time for a hot beverage break ... and a good laugh.
Planning outings and trips for children with special needs is nothing unusual for the Friendship Circle of Michigan, but a recent weekend retreat for the mothers who care for these children certainly proved a novel experience.
The women were expecting a few days of respite and a relaxing getaway; they left with more than 20 new sisters and a fresh perspective on their children, each other and themselves.
The retreat, called “Shabbat at the Spa,” took place Feb. 28 to March 2 at the Riverwalk Place in Gladwin, Mich.—a spacious hotel/conference center with a full-service spa, luxurious rooms and suites, and an accommodating staff. Attendees enjoyed spa services on Fridayafternoon and Sunday, and participated in a variety of Shabbat-oriented activities, beginning with a group candle-lighting on Fridaynight and continuing through Havdalah on Saturday night.
Susan and Gary August of Bloomfield Hills, Mich., volunteered to underwrite the weekend. They were familiar with Friendship Circle through their sons, Mitchell, 17, and Matthew, 13, who are active volunteers with the West Bloomfield-based organization. Susan August, who attended the retreat, said she was inspired by the women’s stories and by a video clip of the Lubavitcher Rebbe—Rabbi Menachem M. Schneerson, of righteous memory—addressing a group of people with disabilities. Upon her return, she and her husband decided to set up a $10,000 matching fund to ensure that future retreats will continue to take place.
“I went home and told my husband the Rebbe said these are exceptional people, and we are supposed to help,” said August, “and he agreed.”
‘All Standing in the Same Place’
The women came from different neighborhoods, lifestyles, economic circumstances and Jewish backgrounds. But none of those differences mattered when they joined together to talk about their lives and share their collective pain at having children with daunting challenges.
Julie Zorn, Sue Hodess and Debby Suris enjoy a scrumptious dinner.
One of the attendees was Milaine Grossbard, an observant woman who has six children, three with special needs. It was the first time she had been away by herself in 21 years.
“It was amazing to be with all these women who have such different lives than mine, yet we are so connected … I felt it immediately … we are all standing in the same place,” said Grossbard, who lives in Southfield, Mich.
Carolyn Morris of West Bloomfield talked about what it was like when her son Sam, now 21, was first diagnosed with autism. “There was no Friendship Circle, no community programs for children with special needs,” she said. “I felt so alone.”
With more than 79 locations worldwide, the Friendship Circle, run by local Chabad centers, has cultivated friendships between 5,000 children with special needs and nearly 11,000 teen volunteers.
‘Special on So Many Levels’
The weekend was planned in meticulous detail by Friendship Circle’s Life Town director Bassie Shemtov, and staff members Sarah Schectman and Bayla Blumstein, with on-site assistance from staffers Chanchie Shemtov and Casey Coden, whose fruit-infused sangria and chocolate martinis were cocktail-hour favorites.
The spa treatment included in the package was only the beginning of the nonstop pampering the mothers received. Welcome gift baskets were followed by a continuous stream of treats throughout the weekend: pillow-soft spa socks, personally engraved silver bracelets, rhinestone-encrusted water bottles and electric neck massagers donated by the health and wellness company Homedics. Each gift was accompanied by a printed card with an original poem.
One of the beautiful table settings at the Friendship Circle Retreat in Michigan
The meals, including a complete Shabbat dinner, consisted of delicious kosher fare prepared by Bayla Blumstein, served against a backdrop of magazine-worthy table settings, courtesy of former Friendship Circle staffer Reva Liebowitz. The menu included such dishes as Asian Ginger Steak Salad, elaborate breakfast buffets and even a mid-afternoon ice-cream bar with all the toppings.
“The weekend was special on so many levels—new friendships were made, old friendships were strengthened and most valuable to me, it feels like the beginning of a circle of support that will be a much needed addition in my life,” said Lisa Menuck of Birmingham, Mich.
In between meals and snacks were enlightening and entertaining group activities: small group discussions about various ethical issues, a lively Zumba class, a pajama party complete with telephone charades, and a song fest led by Friendship Circle mom and talented children’s musician, Marlowe Bechmann of the “Swingset Mamas.”
“It [the weekend] was something I needed that I didn’t even know I needed,” said Sarah Rosenzweig of West Bloomfield, who was able to release some of her feelings about the challenges facing her 3-year-old daughter Ellah.
The guest speaker was Chana Weisberg, editor of TheJewishWoman.org, the women’s satellite site of Chabad.org, as well as an author and worldwide lecturer on issues relating to women, faith, relationships and the Jewish soul. Through a mixture of Jewish teachings and personal stories, she encouraged the women to find balance in their busy lives through prayer and spiritual connection.
Lisa Menuck, Maggie Egrin, Jill Menuck and Susan August (in red), who volunteered to underwrite the weekend costs with her husband, Gary.
“The amazing group of women who attended shared openly, and bonded honestly and genuinely … the environment was imbued with an aura of out-of-this-world holiness,” said Weisberg.
Words like “life-changing,” “transformational” and “awe-inspiring” were heard throughout the weekend, but the overriding sentiment was how refreshing it was to be with other women who “get it” in a way that even well-meaning friends and family members do not.
“I felt inspired to keep going amidst the chaos, celebrate the little milestones, remembering to cry when I need to, and appreciate all the amazing things our special ones do for the world and those who live in it,” said Jodie Jacobs of West Bloomfield.
For more information on the Friendship Circle of Michigan, or to donate to the August fund for future retreats, visit the Friendship Circle’s web site, www.friendshipcircle.org.
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