Through Loving Kindness
Loving Kindness as a Practice
Loving kindness is the cultivation of benevolence toward all living beings, love without clinging, and a strong wish for the happiness of others. It is the kind of love that often bubbles up freely in the heart of a mother for her child. It is a love that is independent of expecting or needing anything in return.
Loving kindness is unique from preferential love, which is attached love, in that it is an all-embracing unconditional love.
It is apparent that many people in our world are troubled by disturbing emotional states and yet do very little to try to evolve out of those. By practicing loving kindness both in meditation and in action, we can “sweeten” the “sour” mind. Hatred cannot co-exist with loving kindness. Loving kindness can lead to the feeling of equanimity toward all sentient beings and is therefore transformative. It can heal the troubled mind to free it from negative thought patterns. As the practice develops further it naturally overflows into compassion as one begins to experience all beings with loving acceptance and empathy.
Loving kindness is the cultivation of benevolence toward all living beings, love without clinging, and a strong wish for the happiness of others. It is the kind of love that often bubbles up freely in the heart of a mother for her child. It is a love that is independent of expecting or needing anything in return.
Loving kindness is unique from preferential love, which is attached love, in that it is an all-embracing unconditional love.
It is apparent that many people in our world are troubled by disturbing emotional states and yet do very little to try to evolve out of those. By practicing loving kindness both in meditation and in action, we can “sweeten” the “sour” mind. Hatred cannot co-exist with loving kindness. Loving kindness can lead to the feeling of equanimity toward all sentient beings and is therefore transformative. It can heal the troubled mind to free it from negative thought patterns. As the practice develops further it naturally overflows into compassion as one begins to experience all beings with loving acceptance and empathy.
When one meditates on loving kindness, they often start with developing loving acceptance of oneself. Loving kindness toward others must begin with over-coming feelings of self-doubt and inadequacy. The practice of loving kindness naturally heals feelings of negativity toward self and others. In the Buddhist meditation of loving kindness- Metta Bhavana, after focusing loving kindness on oneself, the focus is then turned to a beloved person like a spiritual teacher, then to a dearly beloved like a family member, then a neutral person like a stranger, then finally toward a hostile person- someone you are having difficulty with.
Practicing loving kindness toward someone who has harmed you or others can be very challenging and requires one to see the humanness and the divine in that person, to recognize that they too strive for happiness and are suffering due to their emotional and mental states of being. Trace back when their early childhood patterns were programmed and see that they are simply lost and confused – lashing out in their own pain. Loving kindness does not need to condone violence or hatred, but it can transform those feelings within our own hearts and minds toward light and love.
Imagine a world where 1 out of every 1000 people intentionally and consistently practiced loving kindness by dissolving barriers between themselves and others, by loving their enemies, by meditating on the happiness and wellness of all sentient beings. Imagine how that light would spread. Not only would these people be infinitely transformed by this practice but so would everyone around them. Imagine if every child was taught loving kindness- violence could be eliminated from this world in 7 generations.
If there is one common teaching between our sacred wisdom teachers, it is kindness toward others.
Can loving kindness lead to positive personal transformation? Absolutely. Can it lead to positive world transformation? I believe so.
I hope you enjoy this eBulletin on Loving Kindness as much as I have,
Deshna
Fred Plumer
I know of no spiritual path which does not presume some kind of significant personal transformation will occur if followed and practiced. By transformation, I mean to experience a change in our understanding of what is real and discovering who and what we really are as humans in this universe. The language may be different, the steps in a different order, the emphasis slightly unique. But I have found there are far more similarities than there are differences between most of the well-known traditions. Their common goal is to learn how to live with a wide awake mind, an open heart and an absence of suffering. For many it also means cultivating the experience of joy.
I know of no spiritual path which does not presume some kind of significant personal transformation will occur if followed and practiced. By transformation, I mean to experience a change in our understanding of what is real and discovering who and what we really are as humans in this universe. The language may be different, the steps in a different order, the emphasis slightly unique. But I have found there are far more similarities than there are differences between most of the well-known traditions. Their common goal is to learn how to live with a wide awake mind, an open heart and an absence of suffering. For many it also means cultivating the experience of joy.
I have explained in many places my understanding of Jesus’ idea of God’s Realm, or Kingdom, or Heaven, or Sacred Unity. This was not a place where one goes after death, but rather are descriptive words that refer to a state of mind. It is not a place but an experience of the Divine which is available to any of us in the here and now. And I believe Jesus laid out a path for us both by his teaching and his life which could lead one to a personal experience of this elevated state of mind. The Christian contemporaries refer to this as illumination brought on by kenosis or self-emptying. The Buddhist might call this enlightenment, kensho or satori, achieved by meditation and living the Eightfold Path. A Hindu might use the term, moksha, meaning freedom.
If we dig a little deeper, we can find some differences in these respective teachings intended to lead to transformation. I believe these differences may be more nuance than substance. For example, the Eastern teachers seem to put more emphasis on withdrawal, silence, and meditation. Jesus’ path seems to emphasize more engaging, reaching out, and risk-taking. While we do know that Jesus went off to pray frequently, it is not clear if he had an active meditation practice. It may simply have been assumed by his followers and even his culture at the time. My own presumption is that he did.
Let me be clear, I am referring here to the path and not the end goal. I am certain any Buddhist who is trying to live by the Nobel Eightfold Path is by nature engaging, reaching out and risking. What is common to all of these paths, in spite of their differences, is the assumption that if more people followed the path, they would become more awake to the suffering caused in large part by the inequality of social systems. If more people became awake to these inequities and lived with compassionate hearts, eventually the world would also be transformed. It is my sincere belief that Jesus, in spite of his difficult situation, believed there could be a new, transformed world order.
ProgressiveChristianity.org is frequently challenged by those who believe we do not address social justice issues often enough or some would suggest, not at all. It should be obvious to anyone who actually reads our material that we do address social injustice and social issues. However, it has always been my belief that if we take on these issues and conflicts without an open heart, without some kind of internal transformation, it is too easy to become angry, add to the conflict, and frankly be less effective. It is also a recipe for burnout.
In his book, The Heart of Christianity, Marcus Borg writes Christian life should be relational and transformational. According to Borg, there are really two transformations needed and they are “twins.” He suggests one is a personal and spiritual and the other is communal, social and political.
In other words, if we are going to be effective change-agents for a more compassionate and just world, we must come at this change with open minds and open hearts. We first need to work on our own internal transformations through our own intentional path. Only then can our effort to transform our society and our world have any long term impact. This is what the early followers of Yeshua, people of The Way, believed. This was and still is the path or Way of Yeshua.
Clearly Jesus told us if we want to experience Sacred Unity, or the Realm of God, we need to go where there is pain and try to alleviate the suffering. But we are challenged to do this with an open and compassionate heart. Our hearts and our eyes will be opened when we reach out and actually serve. One of reasons he suggests that we serve is to gain this awareness, to become awake to the fact that these are “God’s children.” Compassionate serving, even sacrifice is part of the path. You cannot serve with a compassionate heart without eventually seeing those whom you are serving as your brother, your sister, your mother, your father, or eventually as yourself, even when it is “the least of these” whom you have compassionately served. All boundaries are erased. The served and the server become one. The ultimate goal however is to break down divisions and separation and move to a new understanding of our interconnectedness and oneness.
Today some of the world’s issues seem so big, the needs so great, we can become frozen, often feeling helpless. We wonder if we can have any impact as an individual or even an organization. Much of this, I believe, is caused by “too much information.” With television, social media and satellites we have instant knowledge of suffering everywhere and anywhere in the world, in 3D and color. With few exceptions most thinking people in this country know the world does face a real, life ending, ecological disaster unless we make radical change in our behavior. What in the world can we do that would have any impact besides recycling and driving cars with better gas mileage?
On the other hand in part because of technical world and the social media we are also given the opportunity today to experience oneness or interconnectedness the world has never experienced before. Young people from over 25 countries go on our website every week. We have a whole generation of young adults who have grown up, in some ways, without geographic or language boundaries. They know what is going on in countries many of us never knew existed until recently. They travel with ease all over the world and communicate regularly with other young people in what we older folks might have referred to as a foreign country. Many of them no longer see ethnic or racial differences any more than we might notice someone with blond or red hair.
They are inheriting a very different world than it was only fifty years ago. But they are still human and will still have to overcome some of the weaknesses of the human condition in their attempt to forge their way. The survival of the human race may be dependent on their ability to move past the egoic mentality that has plagued our tiny planet for the last ten thousand years.
There must be a transformation in the world if the human race is going to survive. According to scientists we can now actually calculate a deadline for human life on our planet, and it is not that far out there. Many young people all over the world are aware of this as well. Take a look at the movies and television programs today that are about end-times and the final survivalists. What a strange way it must be to grow up with this idea as a major influence.
So the question I leave you with is what can we do? Are we part of the problem? Do we have wise teachers today to help these young people while we can? Do we offer a model or a path for both personal and world transformation?
I believe we do and it is time we started making this clearer.
Kurt Struckmeyer
Can kindness save the world? That is the question I posed as I reflected on the theme of ‘transforming the world through loving kindness.’ Are we really talking about changing the world through small acts of kindness, perhaps from one stranger to another? If so, are we discussing a movement like London’s ‘Kindness Offensive,’ known for orchestrating large-scale ‘random acts of kindness?’ Although kindness is an important virtue, and the world is all the better for it, can friendly, gentle, caring, considerate, and helpful people change the entrenched systems of domination, poverty, and violence that we face in our neighborhoods, nation, and the global community? Kindness may give pleasure to others and make us feel better in return, but I suspect that transforming the world will require more than simple acts of kindness that lift someone’s spirits.
He has told you, O mortal, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God? – The prophet Micah (NRSV)
I have always depended on the kindness of strangers. – Blanche DuBois in “A Streetcar Named Desire”
Can kindness save the world? That is the question I posed as I reflected on the theme of ‘transforming the world through loving kindness.’ Are we really talking about changing the world through small acts of kindness, perhaps from one stranger to another? If so, are we discussing a movement like London’s ‘Kindness Offensive,’ known for orchestrating large-scale ‘random acts of kindness?’ Although kindness is an important virtue, and the world is all the better for it, can friendly, gentle, caring, considerate, and helpful people change the entrenched systems of domination, poverty, and violence that we face in our neighborhoods, nation, and the global community? Kindness may give pleasure to others and make us feel better in return, but I suspect that transforming the world will require more than simple acts of kindness that lift someone’s spirits.
Perhaps the answer to my question can be found by exploring the meaning of the phrase ‘loving kindness.’ That intriguing expression offers new insights. There are two ways of looking at this phrase and it turns out they are interconnected. The first, and perhaps the most obvious, is in reference to the poetry of Micah 6:8 in the New Revised Standard Version (NRSV) translation—“He has told you, O mortal, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?” In this context, it is important to grasp what it means to ‘love kindness,’ (a verb with an objective noun), particularly in partnership with such concepts as ‘justice’ and ‘humility.’ A second way of looking at the phrase is by examining the peculiar hyphenated word ‘loving-kindness’ (a compound noun), invented by Miles Coverdale (1488-1569) when he created the first English translation of the Bible in 1535. If this is the case, one wonders why ‘kindness’ needs a modifier. Is there any other kind of kindness than the loving kind?
It turns out that Coverdale created the term ‘loving-kindness’ to translate some instances of the Hebrew word chesed (kheh′-sed), which is found 248 times in the Hebrew Bible. (Sometimes chesed is transliterated as hesed.) The Hebrew word is difficult to translate into English, because it has no precise equivalent in our language. Most of the time, Coverdale substituted ‘mercy,’ but in thirty cases he used ‘loving-kindness.’ Sixteen hundred years earlier, the Septuagint translation of the Hebrew Bible (completed about the second century BCE) substituted the Greek word eleos (el′-eh-os), often translated into English as ‘mercy,’ ‘pity,’ or ‘compassion.’ In the late fourth century CE, St. Jerome (347-420) rendered it in Latin as misericordia, meaning ‘mercy.’ More recent English translators predominantly choose ‘mercy,’ although ‘kindness,’ ‘compassion,’ and even ‘grace’ are sometimes used. But none of these words are truly synonymous. For instance, ‘mercy’ tends to imply an act of leniency by a more powerful person toward a weaker one, while ‘compassion’ implies a kind of solidarity with another’s pain.
In Micah 6:8, the word that the NRSV translates as ‘kindness’ is also the Hebrew wordchesed. We are told by Micah that God requires us to ‘love chesed.’ So instead of saying ‘love kindness,’ we could easily substitute ‘love mercy’ or ‘love compassion.’ (‘Love loving-kindness’ doesn’t really seem to work at all.) Chesed is a noun and not an adverb, so we could not accurately translate this text as ‘love kindly’ or ‘love compassionately’ although I think that meaning could be implied and might actually be more understandable. It depends on whether we want to place the emphasis on ‘love’ or chesed.
There is another dimension to consider, however. In many of the Hebrew texts, chesed is used to reflect a covenantal relationship between God and humanity—a proactive persistent love shown by the greater party (God) toward the lesser party (humanity). As a result, some translations use the term ‘steadfast love,’ implying an unwavering loyalty, a love that will not let go despite the continual waywardness of the beloved. This is very different from ‘kindness’ or ‘mercy.’ Most of the time chesed is used to describe an attribute of God, not of fickle humanity. So in this context, if one is to ‘love chesed,’ it means to cherish the unwavering, enduring, unstoppable love of God.
One Hebrew-English Bible that I consulted online uses the term ‘covenant loyalty’ instead of ‘steadfast love.’ That translation reads, “do justice, love covenant loyalty, and walk humbly with God.” It is an extremely awkward phrasing, and one that will probably not be found on a bumper sticker any time soon. But put another way, this translation suggests that the people of Israel must totally and joyously embrace a steadfast commitment to the covenant between themselves and their God. Instead of chesed being an attitude of God alone, it can now be seen as a loving response by God’s people. If this is the case, understanding the human side of the bargain in the biblical covenant becomes very important.
A continual message throughout the Hebrew Bible—especially in the law and the prophets—is that God expects Israel (and by extension, us) to create a just society in contrast to the domination system they left behind in Egypt (and that we find all around us today). The prophets regularly reminded the leaders of Judah and Israel that social and economic justice must be their prime concern to be a faithful people. So fidelity to the covenant is closely linked with the establishment of justice. In this sense, to ‘love chesed’ is a commitment to be a faithful and compassionate person who strives toward a just and compassionate society.
Over the centuries, some Hebrew scholars have reinterpreted chesed as a vision of the ideal human life characterized by mercy and compassion—a life that demonstrates the kind of love and concern that is at the heart of the covenant. A life of chesed takes us beyond a contractual obligation to a full embrace of generosity and service to others. Acts of chesedrepresent an active commitment to love one’s neighbor as oneself.
In the end, chesed is represented by the interrelated concepts of faithfulness, compassion, and justice. Simple kindness—although extremely important in our lives—pales by comparison. Kindness is necessary; but will it change the world?
Human love is the source of compassion: an empathy with the suffering of others and a capacity to feel how others feel. The Latin root of the word ‘compassion’ is a compound ofcom (with) and passio (suffer), which gives us the meaning ‘to suffer with.’ Compassion is entering into the pain of another. It is feeling the suffering of someone else—experiencing it, sharing it, tasting it. It is identifying with the sufferer, being in solidarity with the one in need. True compassion is being so moved at a gut level that one is moved to the point of action. In the gospels, we see that Jesus was often compelled by feelings of compassion to heal and feed the poor. And in the parable of the Good Samaritan he demonstrated that the one who loves the neighbor is the one who acts compassionately toward the one who suffers, even if that person is a foreigner, a stranger, or an enemy.
Compassionate action usually takes two forms: charity and justice. The word charity is derived from caritas, Latin for ‘love.’ One could say that charity is a form of kindness, especially toward those in need. But in many cases, charity consists solely of a monetary gift. Some Hebrew scholars contend that the compassionate kindness of chesed is far more than just charitable gifts—money, clothing, food, or other material goods. Chesed kindness requires face-to-face service. A chesed life combines both generosity and servanthood. Although generosity sometimes leads to self-satisfaction, service generally becomes a very humbling experience.
Charity and service represent personal forms of compassionate action. Their objective is to alleviate the effects of suffering. Justice, on the other hand, seeks to eliminate the root causes of suffering. It is about transforming the social structures and systems that produce poverty and suffering. Justice is the social form of compassionate action. It is the social and political form of caring for the least of these. The difference between charity and justice is this: charity seeks to heal wounds, while justice seeks to end the social structures that create wounded people in the first place. No matter how generous we are with our time and money, in the end, charity is only a Band-Aid. It fills the gaps left by an unjust society. Charity is important, but it is not enough. William Sloane Coffin has said: “The bible is less concerned with alleviating the effects of injustice, than in eliminating the causes of it.”1
Martin Luther King, Jr. said:
We are called to play the Good Samaritan on life’s roadside; but that will be only an initial act. One day the whole Jericho road must be transformed so that men and women will not be beaten and robbed as they make their journey through life. True compassion is more than flinging a coin to a beggar; it understands that an edifice that produces beggars needs restructuring.2
Scholar John Dominic Crossan proposes that based on God’s repeated concern for justice in the Bible, the primary function of the church should be to take on the ‘normalcy’ of the world, by which he means challenging the typically unjust social order in which a few prosper at the expense of the vast majority. Yet, far too many Christian communities are unwilling to accept this challenge because justice gets us involved in politics. In spite of this, Jesus and the prophets call each of us to strive for justice in our time and place.
Justice, and only justice, you shall pursue. (Deuteronomy 16:20)
Strive first for the reign of God and God’s justice. (Matthew 6:33)
The command to love our neighbor is always a political command. To follow Jesus and to proclaim the God of love, compassion, and justice leads us to a distinctly political stance of looking out for the welfare of our most disadvantaged brothers and sisters. Compassion, charity, service, and justice are all interconnected. Compassion is a motivator, while charity, service, and justice are concrete responsive actions toward those in need.
Will kindness save the world? Perhaps. Being thoughtful, considerate, and tenderhearted will certainly make us better people. But we are called to do more—much more. In the spirit of Micah, we are called to work for justice, to give and serve with all our heart, and to live humbly and simply as God’s agents of transformation.
1. William Sloane Coffin, Credo (Louisville: Westminster John Knox Press, 2004), 50.
2. Martin Luther King, Jr., Where Do We Go from Here: Chaos or Community? (Boston: Beacon Press, 2010), 198.
© 2015, Kurt Struckmeyer
Ian Lawton
My daughter reminded me of the unruly nature of fierce love when she was much younger. In our home, we have one of those Ruggles (heart shapes in nature) poster with the words “Love is where you find it.” It’s a constant reminder to find love wherever you are and part of the spirit we want to build in our home. Of course it’s not always easy to remember this truth nor is it neat and orderly. One day my daughter was feeling a bit hard done by. She was having a mini tantrum and blurted out, “Love is NOT where you find it.” I had to hold back my giggles. But I’ve never loved her more than in that moment. Whenever I see random heart shapes now I think of her fierce wisdom, the truth of authentic love. Instead of getting the giggles, I get the ruggles, the reminder that love is real and everywhere and surprising and not always soft and mushy.
My daughter reminded me of the unruly nature of fierce love when she was much younger. In our home, we have one of those Ruggles (heart shapes in nature) poster with the words “Love is where you find it.” It’s a constant reminder to find love wherever you are and part of the spirit we want to build in our home. Of course it’s not always easy to remember this truth nor is it neat and orderly. One day my daughter was feeling a bit hard done by. She was having a mini tantrum and blurted out, “Love is NOT where you find it.” I had to hold back my giggles. But I’ve never loved her more than in that moment. Whenever I see random heart shapes now I think of her fierce wisdom, the truth of authentic love. Instead of getting the giggles, I get the ruggles, the reminder that love is real and everywhere and surprising and not always soft and mushy.
As you can imagine this was no laughing matter to my daughter. It was a raw expression of being misunderstood and after saying the words, she composed herself quickly. Within minutes she was skipping around the house. All was forgiven. She did not get her way, but learnt that she could get over disappointment and move on. She had learnt another, tough, side of love, and so had I.
Just as love heart shapes can be found in the most natural and basic materials, so fierce love is found in the most fundamental, the rawest, of human emotions, including despair, confusion and disappointment.
The classic 80’s song said “You can’t hurry love.” Hurry? You can barely control it at all. It has a mind of its own. The American author Tom Robbins put it beautifully,
Love is the ultimate outlaw. It won’t adhere to rules. The most any of us can do is to sign on as its accomplice. Instead of vowing to honor and obey, maybe we should swear to aid and abet. That would mean that security is out of the question.
Security is out of the question. When you become love’s accomplice, you will steal hearts, and break and enter into the most secure personal space. As Bruno Mars sang, “Take a grenade for love. Do anything for love.” Do it without a trace of certainty that your love will be received or reciprocated.
The principle applies equally to social activism as it does to personal romance. When you follow love’s fierce call, it offers no guaranteed outcomes or timeline.
Fierce love is risky business. It is an act of faith. But the greater the risk, the more powerful the growth and adventure. Without the comfort of security, fierce love achieves something far more powerful; honest engagement with reality.
Fierce love is transformative, especially when you stretch your love beyond the people who are easiest to love and include those who are harder to love. The Jewish masters tell a story about an old man walking down a road. The story is told by a passerby who watched the whole thing take place. A horseman appears out of nowhere and charges straight toward the old man who has to throw himself into a ditch to save himself. Clambering out of the ditch, the old man shakes his fist at the horseman riding off into the distance and shouts, “May you be blessed. May your deepest desires be fulfilled!”
The passerby is amazed and asks the man, “Why would you wish such a good thing for someone who nearly killed you?”
The old man answers, “If his deepest desires were fulfilled, he would have no need to run an old man off the road.”
The people who are hardest to love need it the most. The parts of each of us that are least loveable are the parts that need the most loving. This sort of loving requires fierce acceptance.
Fierce love is there waiting for you to remove all the barriers and become its accomplice. Fierce love IS you. It comes without any money back guarantees of security. But it comes with something far more powerful. It comes with the absolute certainty that you will feel alive and you WILL grow. The certainty of growth is one thing you can take to the bank.
In March 2015, we’re launching a new online program on Fierce Love. You can read more about it and sign up for free here.
I interviewed some incredible leaders and activists and asked each of them the question, What does fierce love mean to you? The responses were incredible. Those interviewed include Noam Chomsky, Lisa Wimberger, Paul Hawken, Rha Goddess, Rabbi Michael Lerner, Celia Alario, Andrew Harvey and SO many more.
I’m excited to share it with you. Please sign up and share widely. The world needs our fiercest love more than ever right now.
Reba Riley
I’m going to talk about something that isn’t talked about, so if you’re squeamish, or have very recently fallen in love, please look away.
I’m in love my husband, but I love other men, too. And women, for that matter.
Not in a sexual way– not even in a romantic way. But in a goddam “I am wildly attracted to this person and must know more immediately” kinda way.
I’ve been with my wonderful, caring, gorgeous, adoring partner for very nearly a decade. (And, yes, that is a lot of time to have sex with just one person.) My husband is all the perfect adjectives I could write and more; he loves me to distraction; I could never find anyone who loves me or supports me as much as he does.
And yet…
I’m going to talk about something that isn’t talked about, so if you’re squeamish, or have very recently fallen in love, please look away.
I’m in love my husband, but I love other men, too. And women, for that matter.
Not in a sexual way– not even in a romantic way. But in a goddam “I am wildly attracted to this person and must know more immediately” kinda way.
I’ve been with my wonderful, caring, gorgeous, adoring partner for very nearly a decade. (And, yes, that is a lot of time to have sex with just one person.) My husband is all the perfect adjectives I could write and more; he loves me to distraction; I could never find anyone who loves me or supports me as much as he does.
And yet…
You know exactly what I’m talking about: you meet someone. You click. Your heart beats a little faster. You fall a little in love with them. It’s not really love, of course—love is what you have with the person who makes you dinner and has seen you tweezing your eyebrows with hair color on your roots and Nair on your legs. (Please tell me I’m not the only one!)
If you are very lucky, you are not sexually attracted to this person you’re wildly attracted to, so there’s no danger of throwing away your life on a fling. If you’re very unlucky, you are attracted, and you have to put the full “I am a married woman” press on your inner goddess and run– quickly!—in the other direction.
My friend Tess Clark wrote about this phenomenon in a letter to a young man she’d met on her (incredible!) pilgrimage on the El Camino Trail in Spain. [Read More about this here.] Martin was twenty-something, handsome, about to reunite with his girlfriend—and completely, hopelessly, smitten with Tess, romantically and otherwise—and she liked him, too. Even though nothing happened between them, Martin was so conflicted about his feelings that Tess wrote him this letter:
I think that part of opening our hearts more and more means that we become increasingly attracted to a variety of people at the same time. I don’t think that attraction and romance need to always be linked. So you can have an attraction for me, or anyone passing you on the street, and not have it threaten your existing relationship.
If we’re truly honest with ourselves, we ought to fall in love several times a day. I know I do. People excite me. All kinds of people. All the time. I have to decide if I will act on my feelings or just let them exist.
It’s not often appropriate to express all our feelings romantically. It’s not even necessary.
And so what I want for you, and for me, is for you to hold these feelings you have for me, let them move you as they will, and maybe even allow them to express themselves in your relationship with your girlfriend with whom you are reuniting.
It doesn’t have to be confusing. It doesn’t have to be figured out. Part of having passion, I think, and part of allowing yourself a deeper, fuller experience of life, is allowing all kinds of conflicting and confusing thoughts and feelings to all exist at the same time.
Beautifully, beautifully put, Tess. Especially the “it doesn’t have to be confusing, it doesn’t have to be figured out” part.
Well. My heart is wide open, which means I fall in love all the time. Daily, sometimes hourly. I connect quickly and deeply and willingly, because it makes life so much richer.
I’m choosing to be vulnerable and write about this because I know if it’s happening to me, it’s happening to other people out there.
So there it is. Life is about embracing the conflicted feeling…while choosing not to embrace the person you’re a little in love with.
Live and let Love.
Reba Riley is the author of Post-Traumatic Church Syndrome: A Memoir of Humor and Healing in 30 Religions
Originally published on Patheos, here.
Loving Kindness - Video Song
Ashana
Loving kindness for all beings
from the One beyond the stars
Through the darkness into light
We behold the gift of peace
WATCH/LISTEN HERE....
Love is Essential
George Stuart
Tune Eventide VU 436
Love is the source of comfort and delight;
Love shines in darkness, bringing us the light;
When we despair and purpose seems at an end
We long for love on which we can depend.
When storms attack, when gloom seems to prevail,
Wrong seems to triumph, mercy seems to fail,
These are the times when love can change the world
Hope can burst forth and justice be unfurled.
Love is Essential by George Stuart
Tune Eventide VU 436
Love is the source of comfort and delight;
Love shines in darkness, bringing us the light;
When we despair and purpose seems at an end
We long for love on which we can depend.
When storms attack, when gloom seems to prevail,
Wrong seems to triumph, mercy seems to fail,
These are the times when love can change the world
Hope can burst forth and justice be unfurled.
When we have failed, thrown virtue overboard,
Love can redeem; our lives can be restored;
We can begin again and hope to show
What love can do if we but let it grow.
When love is shared, is given and received
Life is enriched; much pain is thus relieved;
Love calls to us to taste its wondrous store
Of peace and kindness, now and evermore.
We have no fear when love controls our way;
Love has the means of bringing joy each day;
When we decide to let love truly reign
We are creating more of God’s domain.
Fierce Love: Healing Ourselves and the World
Ian Lawton + 25 Experts
March 9-13, 2015
The world feels overwhelming right now. It needs an injection of fierce love. Let's gather a collection of fierce love warriors who are making a difference in the world and know how to inspire all of us to heal ourselves and heal the world.
Event Views
List
Search
Fierce Love: Healing Ourselves and the World with Ian Lawton + 25 Experts
March 9-13, 2015
The world feels overwhelming right now. It needs an injection of fierce love. Let’s gather a collection of fierce love warriors who are making a difference in the world and know how to inspire all of us to heal ourselves and heal the world.
Images
Start: March 9, 2015
End: March 13, 2015
Location: online seminar
Contact: Ian Lawton
Organization: Soul Seeds
Website: https://www.entheos.com/Fierce-Love?c=Progressive-Christianity
Email: ian@soulseeds.com
Or sign up for FREE:
Opening the Heart - Meditation
Sharon Salzberg
Use the metta, or lovingkindness, meditation to cultivate a deep sense of caring for self and for all of creationby
Take some time to join Sharon Salzberg in a seven-minute loving kindness meditation that will open your heart and calm your mind.
Opening the Heart
Use the metta, or lovingkindness, meditation to cultivate a deep sense of caring for self and for all of creation by Sharon Salzberg
Take some time to join Sharon Salzberg in a seven-minute loving kindness meditation that will open your heart and calm your mind.
Meditation Transcript:
You can begin by sitting down in a comfortable position, closing your eyes. Sit with your back erect, without being strained or overarched.
Take a few deep breaths, relax your body. Feel your energy settle into your body and into the moment.
See if certain phrases emerge from your heart that express what you wish most deeply for yourself, not just for today, but in an enduring way. Phrases that are big enough and general enough that you can ultimately wish them for all of life, for all beings everywhere.
Classical phrases are things like, “May I live in safety. May I be happy. May I be healthy. May I live with ease.”
You can gently repeat these phrases over and over again, have your mind rest in the phrases and whenever you find your attention has wandered, don’t worry about it. When you recognize you’ve lost touch with the moment, see if you can gently let go and begin again.
May I live in safety, be happy, be healthy, live with ease.
Call to mind somebody that you care about–a good friend, or someone who’s helped you in your life, someone who inspires you. You can visualize them, say their name to yourself. Get a feeling for their presence, and then direct the phrases of lovingkindness to them. Mayyou live in safety, be happy, be healthy, live with ease.
Call to mind someone you know who’s having a difficult time right now. They’ve experienced a loss, painful feeling, a difficult situation. If somebody like that comes to mind, bring them here.
https://www.beliefnet.com/Health/2000/07/Opening-The-Heart.aspx
Four Great Winds - CD
Peia
Gifted with a broad, soaring vocal range and crystalline tone Peia’s voice pierces the heart with bell like clarity. She sings with depth and beauty, moving audiences to tears and inviting listeners to reconnect with one’s own purpose and the heart of the Earth. Accompanying herself with Charango, Harmonium, and Guitar, Peia’s music creates an organic soundscape for deep vibrational healing.
As a sacred song preserver Peia has gathered songs from indigenous traditions all across the globe, as well as the stories and teachings with which they are woven. She has traveled extensively and studied from the rich lineages of Medieval Chant, Bulgarian and Celtic Folk Music, Medicine songs from the Native peoples of North and South America and Indian Classical Raga. Peia’s original song writing draws upon a deep well love and respect for Mother Earth and the Spirit of all Life.
This music CD is ideal for gatherings, worship, meditation, sacred dance, and contemplation.
PURCHASE OR LISTEN
Connecting with Kindness
A Joyful Path, Year One,
Lesson 9Ages 6-11
Affirmation: The whole world is home, and we are a divine family.
Getting to the Heart of the Lesson
When we see God within ourselves and others, being kind is natural.
Exposure to people of different cultures, ages, interests, and backgrounds can help children develop feelings of acceptance for others. Kindness, however, comes from a sense of connectedness. This lesson emphasizes that we are all one human family, with one divine parent. When there is awareness of our divine connection, then even if one never leaves the neighborhood, the whole world is home, and the human race is family.
Each Year One Lesson includes:
Teacher Introduction - Getting to the Heart of the Lesson,
Teacher Reflection,
Spiritual Affirmation with full color Art,
Original Story,
Activities,
Bible Verses,
Wisdom Quotes
Buy now $3.00
(Download the PDF) - right into your digital device.
A Joyful Path, Year One, Lesson 9: Connecting with Kindness
by ProgressiveChristianity.org on June 9, 2014 | 0 Comments
Buy now ⋅ $3.00
Share on tumblrShare on bloggerShare on facebookShare on twitterMore Sharing Services0
Download the PDF of A Joyful Path, Year One, Lesson #9- “Connecting with Kindness” right into your digital device. Just click on the blue “Buy Now” Button. A receipt will be sent to you with the link to download your lesson.
Each Year One Lesson includes:
Teacher Introduction/Getting to the Heart of the Lesson, Teacher Reflection, Spiritual Affirmation with full color Art, Original Story, and Activities, Bible Verses, Wisdom Quotes
Lesson 9 from Year One is about: Connecting with Kindness
“The Dangerous Road”
Affirmation: The whole world is home, and we are a divine family.
Getting to the Heart of the Lesson
When we see God within ourselves and others, being kind is natural.
Exposure to people of different cultures, ages, interests, and backgrounds can help children develop feelings of acceptance for others. Kindness, however, comes from a sense of connectedness. This lesson emphasizes that we are all one human family, with one divine parent. When there is awareness of our divine connection, then even if one never leaves the neighborhood, the whole world is home, and the human race is family.
Donate Today
Finding Angels in Boulders and Divinity in Geodes
Rev. Bruce Epperly Ph. D.
The story is told of an encounter involving the sculptor Michelangelo and one of his neighbors. According to legend, one day Michelangelo was pushing a boulder up the hill to his house. A neighbor observing the scene became quite curious and was overcome with curiosity when the sculptor took out his hammer and chisel, and then began pounding on the boulder. He crossed the street and inquired, “What are you doing hammering on that boulder?” To which Michelangelo replied, “There’s an angel inside and I’m trying to let it out.”
Progressive Christianity asserts that God is present in each one of us. God is not far off but moves within each of our lives, providing energy and possibility; God’s presence in us and not imperfection is our deepest nature. In contrast to sin-based theologies, accenting original sin and human depravity, progressive Christianity affirms original blessing and the inherent divinity of each creature. We are not essentially evil and self-interested, despite the realities of personal and social imperfection and our basic survival instincts. In the spirit of Mother Teresa, we can affirm that Christ is present beneath the often-distressing disguises we see in others and ourselves. We can deny the holiness of others and ourselves, but within each boulder there is an angel, ready to come out when we reach out in care and affirmation.
Finding Angels in Boulders and Divinity in Geodes by Rev. Bruce Epperly Ph. D.
The story is told of an encounter involving the sculptor Michelangelo and one of his neighbors. According to legend, one day Michelangelo was pushing a boulder up the hill to his house. A neighbor observing the scene became quite curious and was overcome with curiosity when the sculptor took out his hammer and chisel, and then began pounding on the boulder. He crossed the street and inquired, “What are you doing hammering on that boulder?” To which Michelangelo replied, “There’s an angel inside and I’m trying to let it out.”
Progressive Christianity asserts that God is present in each one of us. God is not far off but moves within each of our lives, providing energy and possibility; God’s presence in us and not imperfection is our deepest nature. In contrast to sin-based theologies, accenting original sin and human depravity, progressive Christianity affirms original blessing and the inherent divinity of each creature. We are not essentially evil and self-interested, despite the realities of personal and social imperfection and our basic survival instincts. In the spirit of Mother Teresa, we can affirm that Christ is present beneath the often-distressing disguises we see in others and ourselves. We can deny the holiness of others and ourselves, but within each boulder there is an angel, ready to come out when we reach out in care and affirmation.
Compassion is a matter of vision and affirmation. Practices of compassion involve pausing to go beyond alienation and judgment to see the beauty of ourselves and others. Going beyond our knee jerk judgments, we take time to see more deeply into life. Yes, there are boulders and their jagged edges can be painful to us and others. But, beneath the jagged edges is the light of God ready to shine through. This is surely the inner light, the image of God, about which Jesus speaks in the Prologue to John’s Gospel: “the true light, which enlightens everyone, was coming into the world.” (John 1:9)
I often use a geode to illustrate our deepest nature and the call to compassion. At first glance, a geode looks like an ordinary rock, but look inside and it’s a thing of beauty. It’s a matter of pausing, noticing, breathing deeply, and seeing deeply to find the holiness in us and others. (For more on the practice of compassion, see Frank Rogers, Practicing Compassion, Upper Room Books, 2014.)
The compassion of Jesus is grounded in recognizing that as we do unto the least of these, we do unto God. God loves us and seeks our well-being and wholeness and those who follow the Jesus way look for divine in every creature, even those with whom we disagree. Such vision enables to go beyond polarization and find common cause with persons of all backgrounds, ethnicities, perspectives, and lifestyles. I believe that Jesus would have affirmed words from a Buddhist teacher that have shaped my own life, inspiring me to look deeper to discover angels in boulders and divinity in geodes. Thich Nhat Hanh invites us to recognize we are joined and united in the great and graceful of interdependence of life, inspiring us to call each other by our true names and gain a heart of compassion.
Too Often Christianity’s Cross-Eyed Perspective Distorts the Good News that God is LOVE
Rev. Dawn Hutchings
When someone shares in our suffering, somehow the knowledge that we are not alone, that there is someone out there who knows the pain that we are going through, the knowledge that we are cared for by someone who truly knows our pain comforts us and gives us the strength we need to endure our suffering.
To be alone in our suffering is the most terrible thing that we can imagine. The Good News that God is LOVE means that LOVE will not let us suffer alone because LOVE is determined to suffer with us. Working in, with, and through those who have experienced our pain LOVE is able to enfold us and say, “I know, my child, I know.”
Too Often Christianity’s Cross-Eyed Perspective Distorts the Good News that God is LOVE: a sermon for the Second Sunday of Lent – Mark 8:27-38 by Rev. Dawn Hutchings
That I should serve as the pastor of a church called Holy Cross is ironic. You see for years and years, before I ever dreamed of being the pastor of a church named Holy Cross, I’ve been trying to figure out how crosses became so popular. Personally, I can’t abide crosses! I hate them! I can’t abide the glorification of an instrument of torture and death! I have never understood why crosses are worn as jewelry! People would never dream of wearing an electric chair around their neck. I cannot for the life of me, imagine that any of Jesus’ followers would have ever considered wearing the symbol of Roman tyranny and persecution around their necks.
Originally published on Patheos, here.
Ashana
Loving kindness for all beings
from the One beyond the stars
Through the darkness into light
We behold the gift of peace
WATCH/LISTEN HERE....
George Stuart
Tune Eventide VU 436
Love is the source of comfort and delight;
Love shines in darkness, bringing us the light;
When we despair and purpose seems at an end
We long for love on which we can depend.
When storms attack, when gloom seems to prevail,
Wrong seems to triumph, mercy seems to fail,
These are the times when love can change the world
Hope can burst forth and justice be unfurled.
Tune Eventide VU 436
Love is the source of comfort and delight;
Love shines in darkness, bringing us the light;
When we despair and purpose seems at an end
We long for love on which we can depend.
When storms attack, when gloom seems to prevail,
Wrong seems to triumph, mercy seems to fail,
These are the times when love can change the world
Hope can burst forth and justice be unfurled.
When we have failed, thrown virtue overboard,
Love can redeem; our lives can be restored;
We can begin again and hope to show
What love can do if we but let it grow.
When love is shared, is given and received
Life is enriched; much pain is thus relieved;
Love calls to us to taste its wondrous store
Of peace and kindness, now and evermore.
We have no fear when love controls our way;
Love has the means of bringing joy each day;
When we decide to let love truly reign
We are creating more of God’s domain.
Ian Lawton + 25 Experts
March 9-13, 2015
The world feels overwhelming right now. It needs an injection of fierce love. Let's gather a collection of fierce love warriors who are making a difference in the world and know how to inspire all of us to heal ourselves and heal the world.
Event Views
List
Search
Fierce Love: Healing Ourselves and the World with Ian Lawton + 25 Experts
March 9-13, 2015
The world feels overwhelming right now. It needs an injection of fierce love. Let’s gather a collection of fierce love warriors who are making a difference in the world and know how to inspire all of us to heal ourselves and heal the world.
End: March 13, 2015
Location: online seminar
Contact: Ian Lawton
Organization: Soul Seeds
Website: https://www.entheos.com/Fierce-Love?c=Progressive-Christianity
Email: ian@soulseeds.com
Sharon Salzberg
Use the metta, or lovingkindness, meditation to cultivate a deep sense of caring for self and for all of creationby
Take some time to join Sharon Salzberg in a seven-minute loving kindness meditation that will open your heart and calm your mind.
Use the metta, or lovingkindness, meditation to cultivate a deep sense of caring for self and for all of creation by Sharon Salzberg
Take some time to join Sharon Salzberg in a seven-minute loving kindness meditation that will open your heart and calm your mind.
Meditation Transcript:
You can begin by sitting down in a comfortable position, closing your eyes. Sit with your back erect, without being strained or overarched.
Take a few deep breaths, relax your body. Feel your energy settle into your body and into the moment.
See if certain phrases emerge from your heart that express what you wish most deeply for yourself, not just for today, but in an enduring way. Phrases that are big enough and general enough that you can ultimately wish them for all of life, for all beings everywhere.
Classical phrases are things like, “May I live in safety. May I be happy. May I be healthy. May I live with ease.”
You can gently repeat these phrases over and over again, have your mind rest in the phrases and whenever you find your attention has wandered, don’t worry about it. When you recognize you’ve lost touch with the moment, see if you can gently let go and begin again.
May I live in safety, be happy, be healthy, live with ease.
Call to mind somebody that you care about–a good friend, or someone who’s helped you in your life, someone who inspires you. You can visualize them, say their name to yourself. Get a feeling for their presence, and then direct the phrases of lovingkindness to them. Mayyou live in safety, be happy, be healthy, live with ease.
Call to mind someone you know who’s having a difficult time right now. They’ve experienced a loss, painful feeling, a difficult situation. If somebody like that comes to mind, bring them here.
https://www.beliefnet.com/Health/2000/07/Opening-The-Heart.aspx
Peia
Gifted with a broad, soaring vocal range and crystalline tone Peia’s voice pierces the heart with bell like clarity. She sings with depth and beauty, moving audiences to tears and inviting listeners to reconnect with one’s own purpose and the heart of the Earth. Accompanying herself with Charango, Harmonium, and Guitar, Peia’s music creates an organic soundscape for deep vibrational healing.
As a sacred song preserver Peia has gathered songs from indigenous traditions all across the globe, as well as the stories and teachings with which they are woven. She has traveled extensively and studied from the rich lineages of Medieval Chant, Bulgarian and Celtic Folk Music, Medicine songs from the Native peoples of North and South America and Indian Classical Raga. Peia’s original song writing draws upon a deep well love and respect for Mother Earth and the Spirit of all Life.
This music CD is ideal for gatherings, worship, meditation, sacred dance, and contemplation.
PURCHASE OR LISTEN
A Joyful Path, Year One,
Lesson 9Ages 6-11
Affirmation: The whole world is home, and we are a divine family.
Getting to the Heart of the Lesson
When we see God within ourselves and others, being kind is natural.
Exposure to people of different cultures, ages, interests, and backgrounds can help children develop feelings of acceptance for others. Kindness, however, comes from a sense of connectedness. This lesson emphasizes that we are all one human family, with one divine parent. When there is awareness of our divine connection, then even if one never leaves the neighborhood, the whole world is home, and the human race is family.
Each Year One Lesson includes:
Teacher Introduction - Getting to the Heart of the Lesson,
Teacher Reflection,
Spiritual Affirmation with full color Art,
Original Story,
Activities,
Bible Verses,
Wisdom Quotes
Buy now $3.00
(Download the PDF) - right into your digital device.
by ProgressiveChristianity.org on June 9, 2014 | 0 Comments
Buy now ⋅ $3.00
Share on tumblrShare on bloggerShare on facebookShare on twitterMore Sharing Services0
Download the PDF of A Joyful Path, Year One, Lesson #9- “Connecting with Kindness” right into your digital device. Just click on the blue “Buy Now” Button. A receipt will be sent to you with the link to download your lesson.
Each Year One Lesson includes:
Teacher Introduction/Getting to the Heart of the Lesson, Teacher Reflection, Spiritual Affirmation with full color Art, Original Story, and Activities, Bible Verses, Wisdom Quotes
Lesson 9 from Year One is about: Connecting with Kindness
“The Dangerous Road”
Affirmation: The whole world is home, and we are a divine family.
Getting to the Heart of the Lesson
When we see God within ourselves and others, being kind is natural.
Exposure to people of different cultures, ages, interests, and backgrounds can help children develop feelings of acceptance for others. Kindness, however, comes from a sense of connectedness. This lesson emphasizes that we are all one human family, with one divine parent. When there is awareness of our divine connection, then even if one never leaves the neighborhood, the whole world is home, and the human race is family.
Rev. Bruce Epperly Ph. D.
The story is told of an encounter involving the sculptor Michelangelo and one of his neighbors. According to legend, one day Michelangelo was pushing a boulder up the hill to his house. A neighbor observing the scene became quite curious and was overcome with curiosity when the sculptor took out his hammer and chisel, and then began pounding on the boulder. He crossed the street and inquired, “What are you doing hammering on that boulder?” To which Michelangelo replied, “There’s an angel inside and I’m trying to let it out.”
Progressive Christianity asserts that God is present in each one of us. God is not far off but moves within each of our lives, providing energy and possibility; God’s presence in us and not imperfection is our deepest nature. In contrast to sin-based theologies, accenting original sin and human depravity, progressive Christianity affirms original blessing and the inherent divinity of each creature. We are not essentially evil and self-interested, despite the realities of personal and social imperfection and our basic survival instincts. In the spirit of Mother Teresa, we can affirm that Christ is present beneath the often-distressing disguises we see in others and ourselves. We can deny the holiness of others and ourselves, but within each boulder there is an angel, ready to come out when we reach out in care and affirmation.
The story is told of an encounter involving the sculptor Michelangelo and one of his neighbors. According to legend, one day Michelangelo was pushing a boulder up the hill to his house. A neighbor observing the scene became quite curious and was overcome with curiosity when the sculptor took out his hammer and chisel, and then began pounding on the boulder. He crossed the street and inquired, “What are you doing hammering on that boulder?” To which Michelangelo replied, “There’s an angel inside and I’m trying to let it out.”
Progressive Christianity asserts that God is present in each one of us. God is not far off but moves within each of our lives, providing energy and possibility; God’s presence in us and not imperfection is our deepest nature. In contrast to sin-based theologies, accenting original sin and human depravity, progressive Christianity affirms original blessing and the inherent divinity of each creature. We are not essentially evil and self-interested, despite the realities of personal and social imperfection and our basic survival instincts. In the spirit of Mother Teresa, we can affirm that Christ is present beneath the often-distressing disguises we see in others and ourselves. We can deny the holiness of others and ourselves, but within each boulder there is an angel, ready to come out when we reach out in care and affirmation.
Compassion is a matter of vision and affirmation. Practices of compassion involve pausing to go beyond alienation and judgment to see the beauty of ourselves and others. Going beyond our knee jerk judgments, we take time to see more deeply into life. Yes, there are boulders and their jagged edges can be painful to us and others. But, beneath the jagged edges is the light of God ready to shine through. This is surely the inner light, the image of God, about which Jesus speaks in the Prologue to John’s Gospel: “the true light, which enlightens everyone, was coming into the world.” (John 1:9)
I often use a geode to illustrate our deepest nature and the call to compassion. At first glance, a geode looks like an ordinary rock, but look inside and it’s a thing of beauty. It’s a matter of pausing, noticing, breathing deeply, and seeing deeply to find the holiness in us and others. (For more on the practice of compassion, see Frank Rogers, Practicing Compassion, Upper Room Books, 2014.)
The compassion of Jesus is grounded in recognizing that as we do unto the least of these, we do unto God. God loves us and seeks our well-being and wholeness and those who follow the Jesus way look for divine in every creature, even those with whom we disagree. Such vision enables to go beyond polarization and find common cause with persons of all backgrounds, ethnicities, perspectives, and lifestyles. I believe that Jesus would have affirmed words from a Buddhist teacher that have shaped my own life, inspiring me to look deeper to discover angels in boulders and divinity in geodes. Thich Nhat Hanh invites us to recognize we are joined and united in the great and graceful of interdependence of life, inspiring us to call each other by our true names and gain a heart of compassion.
Do not say that I’ll depart tomorrow
because even today I still arrive.
Look deeply: I arrive in every second
to be a bud on a spring branch,
to be a tiny bird, with wings still fragile,
learning to sing in my new nest,
to be a caterpillar in the heart of a flower,
to be a jewel hiding itself in a stone.
I still arrive, in order to laugh and to cry,
in order to fear and to hope.
The rhythm of my heart is the birth and
death of all that are alive.
I am the mayfly metamorphosing on the surface of the river,
and I am the bird which, when spring comes, arrives in time
to eat the mayfly.
I am the frog swimming happily in the clear pond,
and I am also the grass-snake who, approaching in silence,
feeds itself on the frog.
I am the child in Uganda, all skin and bones,
my legs as thin as bamboo sticks,
and I am the arms merchant, selling deadly weapons to
Uganda.
I am the twelve-year-old girl, refugee on a small boat,
who throws herself into the ocean after being raped by a sea
pirate,
and I am the pirate, my heart not yet capable of seeing and
loving.
I am a member of the politburo, with plenty of power in my
hands,
and I am the man who has to pay his “debt of blood” to, my
people,
dying slowly in a forced labor camp.
My joy is like spring, so warm it makes flowers bloom in all
walks of life.
My pain if like a river of tears, so full it fills the four oceans.
Please call me by my true names,
so I can hear all my cries and laughs at once,
so I can see that my joy and pain are one.
Please call me by my true names,
so I can wake up,
and so the door of my heart can be left open,
the door of compassion.
In the spirit of Jesus and our Buddhist companions, let us pause, breathe deeply, open to God’s movements in our lives, and look for the holiness. Then we will experience a heart of compassion, joining us with all creation.
Bruce Epperly is pastor of South Congregational Church, United Church of Christ, Centerville, Massachusetts, and the author of over thirty books, including “Process Theology: Embracing Adventure with God,” “Process Theology: A Guide for the Perplexed,” “Healing Marks: Healing and Spirituality in Mark’s Gospel”; and “Finding God in Suffering; A Journey with Job.” He may be reached at drbruceepperly@aol.com.
Rev. Dawn Hutchings
When someone shares in our suffering, somehow the knowledge that we are not alone, that there is someone out there who knows the pain that we are going through, the knowledge that we are cared for by someone who truly knows our pain comforts us and gives us the strength we need to endure our suffering.
To be alone in our suffering is the most terrible thing that we can imagine. The Good News that God is LOVE means that LOVE will not let us suffer alone because LOVE is determined to suffer with us. Working in, with, and through those who have experienced our pain LOVE is able to enfold us and say, “I know, my child, I know.”
That I should serve as the pastor of a church called Holy Cross is ironic. You see for years and years, before I ever dreamed of being the pastor of a church named Holy Cross, I’ve been trying to figure out how crosses became so popular. Personally, I can’t abide crosses! I hate them! I can’t abide the glorification of an instrument of torture and death! I have never understood why crosses are worn as jewelry! People would never dream of wearing an electric chair around their neck. I cannot for the life of me, imagine that any of Jesus’ followers would have ever considered wearing the symbol of Roman tyranny and persecution around their necks.
The early followers of the way; the first Christians used the fish as the symbol of their faith. For a very long time, I used to wear a simple fish necklace that a little girl made for me. Just before I went to seminary, my friend gave me a slightly more elaborate necklace with even more fish on it. Before I was ordained, I insisted that I’d never wear a cross. But then as an ordination gift my wife Carol had her son design a cross that is made up of fish and I must admit that it’s difficult to see this fish cross as an instrument of torture. But then I read a passage like the Gospel text from Mark 8:27-38 and once again the cross becomes a symbol of torture. In this text, the gospel-storyteller we call Mark has Jesus insist that, “If any want to become my followers let them deny themselves and take up their cross an follow me.” All I can say is “Woa, wait just a minute Jesus. Take up my cross and follow you. Wait a minute; I know where you’re going. You’re on your way to Jerusalem and I know exactly what’s going to happen when you get there. You are going to stir things up, get yourself into trouble, upset the powers that be and the next thing you know they are going to nail you to the cross and you are going to suffer and die. If I pick up my cross and follow Jesus, I’m going to end up right there with Jesus, hanging from my cross, suffering and dying and for what? What’s it all about Jesus? Why are you so hell-bent on getting yourself crucified and why do you want me to join you?”
It happens to me every year. No matter how hard I try, the journey of Lent leads me right back to the cross. And just like Peter, I want to rebuke Jesus. I don’t want a suffering Messiah. I want a Saviour who is triumphant without all the suffering. Or at the very least, I want a Messiah who doesn’t run the risk of having his followers glorify the violence of the cross. From the moment that Jesus hung there on the cross, his followers have been trying to understand why and all to often they point to God and they say that the violence of the cross needed to happen in order to satisfy God’s need for justice. They twist and turn things and before you know it God is reduced to some grand executioner in the sky who demands a blood sacrifice. Before you know it, they’re glorifying suffering as if suffering was somehow God’s will for us. Are we all expected to forget that Jesus said that he came that we might have life and live it abundantly? Christianity instead of encouraging people to live, encourages the followers of Jesus to deny themselves and take up their cross and follow Jesus, in such a way as to suggest that suffering is good for us or worse yet, that suffering is God’s will for us.
All too often, Christianity’s cross-eyed perspective has distorted the Good News that God is LOVE and we are left worshiping the cross instead of the ONE who came proclaiming a reign of God that would see the end of institutionalized torture, violence and death.
As part of our training, pastors are expected to complete a year of internship. An internship is where we are given the chance to put all the stuff we have learned at seminary into practice. All the theology, the psychology, the liturgics and all the pastoral care skills that we have learned from all the lectures, all the books, and all the papers that we have been writing are supposed to help us to be pastors. Well one of the first things that you learn on internship is that seminary is no substitute for experience. I became painfully aware of my own lack of experience while waiting in line at a funeral visitation. There I was in my brand new clergy collar wondering what on earth I could possibly say to a woman who had just lost her husband. I knew that one of the responsibilities of my new job was providing comfort to the bereaved. But what comfort could I offer?
My seminary training had taught me the right words to say. But all of the words that came to mind seemed like nothing more than empty platitudes. This woman’s beloved husband lay dead in a box and I could only imagine her pain. At the time, I’d never been married. I have never known the pain of losing a partner. What could I possibly say? I don’t remember what I actually did say to that grieving widow, but I do remember what I learned that evening. After I had mumbled a few words of condolence to the widow, another woman came up behind us. When the widow caught sight this woman, her eyes filled with tears and she fell into the woman’s arms. The woman held the widow and said over and over again, “I know, I know, I know.”
I found out later the reason that this woman knew. Just a few short months before she too had lost her husband. She knew the sharpness of the grieving widow’s pain. She knew the horror, the fear and the sadness of such an overwhelming loss and she more than anyone else in the room knew how to ease the pain of someone who had been similarly afflicted. Since then I have seen others who have known pain offer similar comfort. No one can comfort a grieving widow in quite the same way another widow can. No one can comfort a grieving parent in quite the same way as another parent who has also lost a child. No one can comfort the victim of terror in quite the same way as someone who has also been terrified.
When someone shares in our suffering, somehow the knowledge that we are not alone, that there is someone out there who knows the pain that we are going through, the knowledge that we are cared for by someone who truly knows our pain comforts us and gives us the strength we need to endure our suffering.
To be alone in our suffering is the most terrible thing that we can imagine. The Good News that God is LOVE means that LOVE will not let us suffer alone because LOVE is determined to suffer with us. Working in, with, and through those who have experienced our pain LOVE is able to enfold us and say, “I know, my child, I know.”
During the season of Lent, I am often tempted to cast aside any talk of suffering. After all, we are a people who refuse to see suffering in the same way as our ancestors did. We reject suffering as a normal, everyday part of life. We think pain should go away, preferably immediately. Turn on any TV set and before long you will be deluged by ads touting instant cures for almost anything that might ail you. If a person continues to suffer, we are likely to recommend therapy. We view suffering as the exception or as a disruption of life, something to be changed or overcome as soon as possible, or—when that is impossible—drugged out of human consciousness. Unlike our ancestors, we no longer see suffering as a normal part of life. We see ourselves as in control of our lives, and we expect to have the power to make suffering go away. So we banish talk of suffering and even those who sufferer to the margins of our lives. Where our ancestors learned to cope with suffering, we are surprised and dumfounded when it comes to our door, or to the door of someone we love. Lest we be accused of wallowing in suffering we banish talk of such misery from the public sphere.
We want a religion that is “uplifting” so let’s sing a happy song and send everyone home smiling. Peter’s objection to Jesus’ talk about suffering makes sense to us. Peter expected Jesus to be the kind of Messiah who would save his people from suffering. Jesus’ talk about suffering provided no easy answers and sent Peter into a tailspin. We too, would like some answers to the questions of suffering. Lord knows denial doesn’t work. Living our lives as though suffering won’t touch us, might work for a while, that is if we’re prepared to wall ourselves up and shut ourselves off from the trials and tribulations of life, but sooner or later someone or something will surely touch us. When we open ourselves up we run the risk of being hurt. Medications and therapy have their place but they won’t protect us from come what may. Some expect governments to protect us. Some look to wealth to protect us. Still others seek power to protect themselves. Most of us know we cannot protect ourselves, so some of us turn to someone who or something that is more powerful than we are. So many people cry out for a religion that will provide them with answers to the problems of suffering and they put their faith in answers. Answers they learn by rote and mouth with assurance when suffering strikes. Answers that they insist will suffice if we only have faith, declaring that faith will protect us from suffering, bring us security, and give us victory. Convinced that answers will save them from suffering they insist on a church that avoids the cross, a church that uplifts and promises victory and triumph if you only believe in the answers.
As tempting as it may be to put away our Lenten traditions, to avoid Gethsemane, to ignore Good Friday and head straight for the triumph of Easter’s empty tomb, we are the ones who follow a crucified Christ. We proclaim a theology of the cross and worship the One who has made God’s very self vulnerable to our suffering. We follow a crucified Christ because only a crucified messiah reveals God as a suffering, vulnerable God.
Only those who stand beneath the cross and watch Christ suffer and die will be convinced that at the heart of reality is One who enters into suffering. Only a suffering God can help. Only a fellow sufferer can understand our suffering. Only God can know. The image of a vulnerable and suffering God is objectionable to those who seek an invincible God who shields us from our own vulnerability. But the image of a God who knows our suffering is the image that is revealed in the life, death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. The God who has been revealed to us in Christ, is LOVE that hears the cries of those who suffer.
The scriptures are full of stories about our God who hears the cries of the poor and defends the orphans, upholds the rights of widows and immigrants and seeks those who are lost. God suffers with God’s people. God comes among us as a vulnerable baby born among the homeless, lives as an immigrant, associates with the outcasts and compares the reign of God to receiving a little child. The one who reveals such a God, is then executed as a criminal and buried in a borrowed tomb. This Transcendent LOVE has moved into our vulnerability, our guilt, our alienation, our suffering, and our death. God has claimed our weakness as a resource for divine power. God has claimed our wounds as the means of healing.
Following a crucified Christ, we can face our own vulnerability. We don’t have to hide behind a mask of control or wear the protective armor of invulnerability. We can confront our weakness and as the Apostle Paul taught us, we can declare that “when I am weak then I am strong.” We can take up the cross with the full assurance that Christ has gone before us and now shares its weight and pain. We follow a wounded healer who transforms our brokenness into wholeness and gives us the power to embody healing. God who is LOVE living and breathing in, with, through, and beyond us is that power!
She didn’t have to take up her cross. No one expected her to. The pain of her loss was too much to bare, and her own wound was inflamed by the news of yet more suffering. The death of her beloved is the cross she bears, a burden that seemed to heavy to carry out into the world. But she picked up her cross and as vulnerable as she was she ventured forth determined to suffer with those for whom the wound was fresh. People talk a great deal about the idea of solidarity, but that day, solidarity took on flesh and was embodied in an embrace between two widows; widows whose wounds shared the contours and textures all too familiar to our God. In watching the tender embrace of grieving widows, I have seen the ability of our God who is LOVE to sooth the suffering and heal the afflicted. Not with power and might, not with answers or magic, but with grace that is embodied when the vulnerable reach out with love.
Each of us has crosses to we must bear. I believe that the contours and the textures of our wounds are transformed by LOVE living and breathing in, with, through, and beyond us. Jesus invites us to pick up our crosses and follow Christ into the world. Following Christ we can enter into solidarity with the world’s suffering masses. We can experience the power and LOVE that is God through vulnerability. Kinship, friendship, solidarity with those who suffer brings with it the a power which is divine. Nothing so snaps us to attention and moves us into the depth of life’s meaning as an anguished cry from someone we love. Peripheral concerns are stripped away and when enter the sacred world of shared suffering. We enter into the presence of our crucified God. We follow the crucified Christ as a people of hope because we live on the other side of the cross from Peter. What Jesus hinted at to Peter all those years ago happened. In, with, through, and beyond us the Crucified One becomes the Risen Healer.
Those who follow Christ know the future does not belong to the triumph of suffering, sin, and death. It belongs to the reign of God. The reign of the One who calls us to take up our cross and follow Christ into the world. LOVE living and breathing in, with, through, and beyond us is Christ’s body in a world in need of the healing balm of LOVE; LOVE that takes on flesh and dwells among us.
Benediction:
We follow a wounded healer
who transforms our brokenness into wholeness
and gives us the power to embody healing.
So, take up our cross
and follow Christ into the world.
Be LOVE’s healing balm of love.
Christ’s risen healers.
The Spirit of LOVE lives in, with, through, and beyond us.
Donate Today
The Birth of Jesus- New Book by Bishop Spong
Now available for digital download
While Luke’s narrative, the most detailed account of the birth of Jesus, is lyrical and inspiring, in The Birth of Jesus, Spong persuasively demonstrates it is allegory. Layer by layer, Spong weighs every element of the New Testament stories against Old Testament legends building a convincing case. Spong’s 16 original essays step backward and forward through the scriptures demonstrating why each element was chosen by the early CE writers to establish Jesus’ lineage and divinity. It is a fascinating and persuasive journey and a remarkable illustration of Biblical scholarship.
____________________________
It happens to me every year. No matter how hard I try, the journey of Lent leads me right back to the cross. And just like Peter, I want to rebuke Jesus. I don’t want a suffering Messiah. I want a Saviour who is triumphant without all the suffering. Or at the very least, I want a Messiah who doesn’t run the risk of having his followers glorify the violence of the cross. From the moment that Jesus hung there on the cross, his followers have been trying to understand why and all to often they point to God and they say that the violence of the cross needed to happen in order to satisfy God’s need for justice. They twist and turn things and before you know it God is reduced to some grand executioner in the sky who demands a blood sacrifice. Before you know it, they’re glorifying suffering as if suffering was somehow God’s will for us. Are we all expected to forget that Jesus said that he came that we might have life and live it abundantly? Christianity instead of encouraging people to live, encourages the followers of Jesus to deny themselves and take up their cross and follow Jesus, in such a way as to suggest that suffering is good for us or worse yet, that suffering is God’s will for us.
All too often, Christianity’s cross-eyed perspective has distorted the Good News that God is LOVE and we are left worshiping the cross instead of the ONE who came proclaiming a reign of God that would see the end of institutionalized torture, violence and death.
As part of our training, pastors are expected to complete a year of internship. An internship is where we are given the chance to put all the stuff we have learned at seminary into practice. All the theology, the psychology, the liturgics and all the pastoral care skills that we have learned from all the lectures, all the books, and all the papers that we have been writing are supposed to help us to be pastors. Well one of the first things that you learn on internship is that seminary is no substitute for experience. I became painfully aware of my own lack of experience while waiting in line at a funeral visitation. There I was in my brand new clergy collar wondering what on earth I could possibly say to a woman who had just lost her husband. I knew that one of the responsibilities of my new job was providing comfort to the bereaved. But what comfort could I offer?
My seminary training had taught me the right words to say. But all of the words that came to mind seemed like nothing more than empty platitudes. This woman’s beloved husband lay dead in a box and I could only imagine her pain. At the time, I’d never been married. I have never known the pain of losing a partner. What could I possibly say? I don’t remember what I actually did say to that grieving widow, but I do remember what I learned that evening. After I had mumbled a few words of condolence to the widow, another woman came up behind us. When the widow caught sight this woman, her eyes filled with tears and she fell into the woman’s arms. The woman held the widow and said over and over again, “I know, I know, I know.”
I found out later the reason that this woman knew. Just a few short months before she too had lost her husband. She knew the sharpness of the grieving widow’s pain. She knew the horror, the fear and the sadness of such an overwhelming loss and she more than anyone else in the room knew how to ease the pain of someone who had been similarly afflicted. Since then I have seen others who have known pain offer similar comfort. No one can comfort a grieving widow in quite the same way another widow can. No one can comfort a grieving parent in quite the same way as another parent who has also lost a child. No one can comfort the victim of terror in quite the same way as someone who has also been terrified.
When someone shares in our suffering, somehow the knowledge that we are not alone, that there is someone out there who knows the pain that we are going through, the knowledge that we are cared for by someone who truly knows our pain comforts us and gives us the strength we need to endure our suffering.
To be alone in our suffering is the most terrible thing that we can imagine. The Good News that God is LOVE means that LOVE will not let us suffer alone because LOVE is determined to suffer with us. Working in, with, and through those who have experienced our pain LOVE is able to enfold us and say, “I know, my child, I know.”
During the season of Lent, I am often tempted to cast aside any talk of suffering. After all, we are a people who refuse to see suffering in the same way as our ancestors did. We reject suffering as a normal, everyday part of life. We think pain should go away, preferably immediately. Turn on any TV set and before long you will be deluged by ads touting instant cures for almost anything that might ail you. If a person continues to suffer, we are likely to recommend therapy. We view suffering as the exception or as a disruption of life, something to be changed or overcome as soon as possible, or—when that is impossible—drugged out of human consciousness. Unlike our ancestors, we no longer see suffering as a normal part of life. We see ourselves as in control of our lives, and we expect to have the power to make suffering go away. So we banish talk of suffering and even those who sufferer to the margins of our lives. Where our ancestors learned to cope with suffering, we are surprised and dumfounded when it comes to our door, or to the door of someone we love. Lest we be accused of wallowing in suffering we banish talk of such misery from the public sphere.
We want a religion that is “uplifting” so let’s sing a happy song and send everyone home smiling. Peter’s objection to Jesus’ talk about suffering makes sense to us. Peter expected Jesus to be the kind of Messiah who would save his people from suffering. Jesus’ talk about suffering provided no easy answers and sent Peter into a tailspin. We too, would like some answers to the questions of suffering. Lord knows denial doesn’t work. Living our lives as though suffering won’t touch us, might work for a while, that is if we’re prepared to wall ourselves up and shut ourselves off from the trials and tribulations of life, but sooner or later someone or something will surely touch us. When we open ourselves up we run the risk of being hurt. Medications and therapy have their place but they won’t protect us from come what may. Some expect governments to protect us. Some look to wealth to protect us. Still others seek power to protect themselves. Most of us know we cannot protect ourselves, so some of us turn to someone who or something that is more powerful than we are. So many people cry out for a religion that will provide them with answers to the problems of suffering and they put their faith in answers. Answers they learn by rote and mouth with assurance when suffering strikes. Answers that they insist will suffice if we only have faith, declaring that faith will protect us from suffering, bring us security, and give us victory. Convinced that answers will save them from suffering they insist on a church that avoids the cross, a church that uplifts and promises victory and triumph if you only believe in the answers.
As tempting as it may be to put away our Lenten traditions, to avoid Gethsemane, to ignore Good Friday and head straight for the triumph of Easter’s empty tomb, we are the ones who follow a crucified Christ. We proclaim a theology of the cross and worship the One who has made God’s very self vulnerable to our suffering. We follow a crucified Christ because only a crucified messiah reveals God as a suffering, vulnerable God.
Only those who stand beneath the cross and watch Christ suffer and die will be convinced that at the heart of reality is One who enters into suffering. Only a suffering God can help. Only a fellow sufferer can understand our suffering. Only God can know. The image of a vulnerable and suffering God is objectionable to those who seek an invincible God who shields us from our own vulnerability. But the image of a God who knows our suffering is the image that is revealed in the life, death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. The God who has been revealed to us in Christ, is LOVE that hears the cries of those who suffer.
The scriptures are full of stories about our God who hears the cries of the poor and defends the orphans, upholds the rights of widows and immigrants and seeks those who are lost. God suffers with God’s people. God comes among us as a vulnerable baby born among the homeless, lives as an immigrant, associates with the outcasts and compares the reign of God to receiving a little child. The one who reveals such a God, is then executed as a criminal and buried in a borrowed tomb. This Transcendent LOVE has moved into our vulnerability, our guilt, our alienation, our suffering, and our death. God has claimed our weakness as a resource for divine power. God has claimed our wounds as the means of healing.
Following a crucified Christ, we can face our own vulnerability. We don’t have to hide behind a mask of control or wear the protective armor of invulnerability. We can confront our weakness and as the Apostle Paul taught us, we can declare that “when I am weak then I am strong.” We can take up the cross with the full assurance that Christ has gone before us and now shares its weight and pain. We follow a wounded healer who transforms our brokenness into wholeness and gives us the power to embody healing. God who is LOVE living and breathing in, with, through, and beyond us is that power!
Each of us has crosses to we must bear. I believe that the contours and the textures of our wounds are transformed by LOVE living and breathing in, with, through, and beyond us. Jesus invites us to pick up our crosses and follow Christ into the world. Following Christ we can enter into solidarity with the world’s suffering masses. We can experience the power and LOVE that is God through vulnerability. Kinship, friendship, solidarity with those who suffer brings with it the a power which is divine. Nothing so snaps us to attention and moves us into the depth of life’s meaning as an anguished cry from someone we love. Peripheral concerns are stripped away and when enter the sacred world of shared suffering. We enter into the presence of our crucified God. We follow the crucified Christ as a people of hope because we live on the other side of the cross from Peter. What Jesus hinted at to Peter all those years ago happened. In, with, through, and beyond us the Crucified One becomes the Risen Healer.
Those who follow Christ know the future does not belong to the triumph of suffering, sin, and death. It belongs to the reign of God. The reign of the One who calls us to take up our cross and follow Christ into the world. LOVE living and breathing in, with, through, and beyond us is Christ’s body in a world in need of the healing balm of LOVE; LOVE that takes on flesh and dwells among us.
Benediction:
We follow a wounded healer
who transforms our brokenness into wholeness
and gives us the power to embody healing.
So, take up our cross
and follow Christ into the world.
Be LOVE’s healing balm of love.
Christ’s risen healers.
The Spirit of LOVE lives in, with, through, and beyond us.
Donate Today
Now available for digital download
While Luke’s narrative, the most detailed account of the birth of Jesus, is lyrical and inspiring, in The Birth of Jesus, Spong persuasively demonstrates it is allegory. Layer by layer, Spong weighs every element of the New Testament stories against Old Testament legends building a convincing case. Spong’s 16 original essays step backward and forward through the scriptures demonstrating why each element was chosen by the early CE writers to establish Jesus’ lineage and divinity. It is a fascinating and persuasive journey and a remarkable illustration of Biblical scholarship.
____________________________
No comments:
Post a Comment