E-Speaks eNewsletter
October is National Bullying Prevention Month. Bullying is far too common in today's world, and unfortunately, research has proven it to be even more common in the autism and special needs community. As we work to further our mission to spread understanding and acceptance of people with autism, we hope we are moving closer to a world without bullying. The information and personal stories below are a small sampling of our growing number of tools and resources we have available to help prevent bullying and promote inclusion of all people.6 things people with autism want bullies to know
6 things people with autism want bullies to know
Unfortunately, children with autism are especially vulnerable to bullying. A 2012 study by the Interactive Autism Network found that a total of 63% of 1,167 children with ASD, ages 6 to 15, had been bullied at some point in their lives. With that, we asked several of our bloggers who have autism to share what they would want to tell bullies and reflect on their own personal experiences with bullying to educate our community.
Here is what they had to say…
"To all those bullies, be careful what you say and do to others because you never know who that person you bully might become in the future. The person you bully could be the next greatest athlete in the world, an inventor of something bigger than iPhones. Heck, that person you bully could become your boss one day. They could also become the next Justin Timberlake, Eminem, Taylor Swift or Michael Phelps. All who were bullied as kids, and look where they ended up in life today. Thus the point of be careful of what you say and do to others cause you never know." (Anthony Ianni)
"Decades have passed since I was bullied in high school, but I remember it vividly. I remember what it felt like to have my books thrown all over the floor, publicly. I remember the name-calling. I remember someone trying to make me feel less than to make themselves feel power in front of our peers. Those memories are still etched in my mind. Too bad he didn’t feel more confident about his own self to love someone who was different. It is cruel to take the voiceless, shut them down, and leave their inward screams to go unheard." (Ann Kagarise)
"For you, this interaction is over the moment you walk away. For me, this will live on for the rest of my life and the memories of your words can be triggered at any moment during the most innocent of times. Personally, when I hear the 'R word', I automatically go back to being a 16-year-old hearing a group of teenagers calling me that as a boarded my short bus." (Phil Martin)
"My life's wisdom has given me one thought about bullies. People who are bullies love to bully individuals whom they perceive as less than themselves. The reality is quite the reverse. Anyone who would bully another person is the lesser one. I would never bully anyone, which makes me a far better person than the one bullying me." (Anita Lesko)
"As a child, I was very difficult to handle because I was born with Asperger’s. I had very few friends and have been alone all my life. Being a very sensitive child, other kids took it upon themselves to bully me. I couldn't fight back and couldn't talk to my parents. At the age of fourteen, I got involved in Army Cadets. This organization became my new family, one where I wasn't bullied. One where I could advance and develop great disciplinary skills. As a result, I never had to deal with bullies again. All you need is self-confidence." (Amanda Wilson)
"You may think you are just 'fooling around' with no intended malice. But in reality you resurrect an endless body of anguish that we are trying to keep dormant. The things that make someone 'cool' in the jungle of social hierarchies are impossible for most of us to strive for and many standards are actually ridiculous and unfair. We will keep rehashing these bad memories forever like a crumpled piece of paper. Waiting until it gets better is a cliché and sometimes never happens if there is not unrelenting effort." (Jesse Saperstein)
At Autism Speaks we have compiled resources to help you and your child take a stand against bullying. You can access those resources here.
What is a bully? Illustrations from an autism mom
Illustrations from an autism mom: What is a bully?
The post below is by Lisa Smith, the mother of seven children, two with special needs. Her son Tate has autism. Lisa blogs about her experiences and can be found on Facebook at Quirks and Chaos or at quirks-and-chaos.blogspot.com.
My fifteen-year-old son, Tate, is a freshman in High School. Tate has autism. To my knowledge Tate has never had to deal with peer who is a bully. I have a theory or two about the why(s) behind that and you can read about all of that here: A Successful Buddy Program
It is hard for some to believe that Tate does not have a problem with bullies. Many people have told me that bullying is just something their children with autism have to live with. I have had a few people suggest to me that Tate is likely being bullied for his differences, but is either unable to recognize it himself and complain, or that I am just too out-of-touch to know. It really is hard for some people to understand that we seem to have done what is considered "the impossible." There simply are no bullies in Tate's life.
Because the month of October is bullying prevention month, I decided to talk to my two special needs kids about bullying. I asked Tate if he knew what a bully is. He said, "a bully is someone who is mean to kids." I walked away and came back a bit later to ask him to go a bit more into depth about what a bully is. This time he said, "a bully picks on kids." So I asked him what a bully looks like. He told me a bully looks like a big kid who is really mean. I asked him if a little kid could ever be a bully and he said, "yes." I asked him if a grown up could be a bully. He again answered, "yes." So I asked him if he knew any bullies. He exclaimed, "no!"
I wanted to explain some things about bullying to Tate and his younger sister, and that is best done with visuals for my two literal kids. The following is what I came up with...
Find more illustrations depicting the various types of bullying and more on Lisa's blog.
The day my son taught a bully a lesson
Autism mom Kim McCafferty shares one of the many times she has been so proud of her son.
The day my son taught a bully a lesson
This is a post by Kimberlee Rutan McCafferty, mother to two sons on the autism spectrum and an Autism Family Partner at the Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia (CHOP). Kim is also the author of a blog about her two children with autism, at autismmommytherapist.wordpress.com. Kim is also the author of "Raising Autism: Surviving the Early Years."
“Mom, Mom, a boy said autism is a boo-boo on the brain, and I told him it’s not and I do not have a boo-boo!” My youngest son burst into the house with these words, hurling them at me along with his coat and the shoes that the strong kick of his feet have dislodged. “You were right Zach” I say, but he is already off on another tangent, begging for technology to cap off his day.
I give in because he’s had a really good one, and make a mental note to call the person who runs his autism sibling support group the next day. She will report that things happened exactly as Zach told me and that he corrected the boy rather indignantly.
I could not be more proud of him.
Like Zach, I don’t believe autism is a “boo-boo on the brain.” I believe the autistic brain is simply wired differently, is not broken, does not need to be “fixed” by a band-aid either literally or metaphorically. Does that mean I don’t work every day to mitigate certain aspects of autism, particularly in my more severely affected son? I do. Would I give anything for my eldest son’s autism to be reduced enough so that he could care for himself when his father and I are gone? You bet. Do I strive daily to lessen the aspects of autism that cause my youngest son distress? I do indeed.
I think this mindset has helped Zach accept, even embrace, his autism. He knows we aren’t trying to get him to assimilate. I would do nothing to erase his unique world view- I simply want him to be as happy and productive as possible, and the same goes for my other son.
And it is evident to me that everything my husband and I have ever said has stuck in that unique brain, to be pondered and analyzed and digested at his own rate. I am again reminded how important it is for his father and I to live and say what we believe.
At the end of his fifteen minutes of Nook he begs for more time as I knew he would, and this time I deny him his demand, as he needs to go to bed. I ask him if he’s okay with what the boy said tonight, and he responds in a somewhat exasperated tone with a “Yes, Mom,” then begs for more time to read before lights out. For this request I acquiesce, but not before leaning into him with a hug and an “I love you just the way you are.”
Help your child's school teach faculty, staff and students about understanding and acceptance
The Autism Speaks School Community Tool Kit helps all people in a school learn the best ways to support students with autism. It contains specific sections for classmates, teachers, bus drivers, school nurses, security guards and more. Download and share with your child's school today. lp enhance lives today and accelerate a spectrum of solutions for tomorrow.
This kit provides helpful information about students with autism to promote understanding and acceptance at school. It includes tools and strategies to increase learning for all members of the school community.
The School Community Tool Kit is broken down into sections:
About the School Community Tool Kit
Information about the resources included, a section on how to use the tool kit, a note to families and caregivers, an "About Me" profile form, and more.
Information about the resources included, a section on how to use the tool kit, a note to families and caregivers, an "About Me" profile form, and more.
About Autism
In addition to general information about autism, this section includes information about:
In addition to general information about autism, this section includes information about:
- Social symptoms
- Physical and medical issues
- Additional challenges
- Unique abilities that may accompany autism
The School Community
Specific resources and information for:
Specific resources and information for:
- Classmates
- Teachers
- School administrators
- Paraprofessionals
- Bus drivers/transportation supervisors
- Custodial staff
- Lunch and recess aides
- Office staff
- Peers
- Nurses
- Security officers
Educating Students with Autism
Topics include:
Topics include:
- The rights of students with autism
- Instructional methods in teaching students
- Assistive technologies
- Therapies used
- Ideas for a team approach
Supporting Learning in the Student with Autism
Topics include:
Topics include:
- Supporting communication
- Organizational and sensory needs
- Improving social interaction and development
- Ideas for preventing behavior
Web, Print and Video Resources
A list of various resources for all members of the school community.
A list of various resources for all members of the school community.
Appendix
Insights, strategies, assessments, handbooks, and lots more!
Insights, strategies, assessments, handbooks, and lots more!
Trending on social
"Trending on social" highlights one of the many heartwarming images shared with us by the autism community on our social channels. You can find this photo and many others by following us on Instagram. See More
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