DAILY PONDERABLES ~ Together WE Trudge The Road OF Happy Destiny ~ Daily Reflections "I'M NOT DIFFERENT" Wednesday, 19 February 2014

DAILY PONDERABLES ~ Together WE Trudge The Road OF Happy Destiny ~ Daily Reflections "I'M NOT DIFFERENT" Wednesday, 19 February 2014
In the beginning it was four whole years before A.A. brought permanent sobriety to even one alcoholic woman. Like the "high bottoms," the women said they were different; . . . The Skid-Rower said he was different; . . . so did the artists and the professional people, the rich, the poor, the religious, the agnostic, the Indians and the Eskimos, the veterans and the prisoners. . . . nowadays all of these, and legions more, soberly talk about how very much alike all of us alcoholics are when we admit that the chips are finally down.~~AS BILL SEES IT, page 24
I cannot consider myself "different" in A.A.; if I do I isolate myself from others and from contact with my Higher Power. If I feel isolated in A.A., it is not something for which others are responsible. It is something I've created by feeling I'm "different" in some way. Today I practice being just another alcoholic in the worldwide Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous.~~From the book Daily Reflections © Copyright 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.
Twenty-Four Hours A Day
A.A. Thought for the Day
Many things we do in A.A. are in preparation for that crucial moment when, walking down the street on a nice sunshiny day, we see a nice cool cocktail lounge and the idea of having a drink pops into our minds. If we've trained our minds so that we're well prepared for that crucial moment, we won't take that first drink. In other words, if we've done our A.A. homework well, we won't slip when temptation comes. In preparation for that crucial moment when I'll be tempted, will I keep in mind the fact that liquor is my enemy?
Meditation for the Day
How many of the world's prayers have gone unanswered because those who prayed did not endure to the end? They thought it was too late, that they must act for themselves, that God was not going to guide them. "He that endureth to the end, the same shall be saved." Can I endure to the very end? If so, I shall be saved. I will try to endure with courage. If I endure, God will unlock those secret spiritual treasures that are hidden from those who do not endure to the end.
Prayer for the Day
I pray that I may follow God's guidance, so that spiritual success shall be mine. I pray that I may never doubt the power of God and so take things into my own hands.~~From the book Twenty-Four Hours a Day © Copyright 1975 by Hazelden Foundation
NA - Just for Today
Reservations~~Page 51
"Relapse is never an accident. Relapse is a sign that we have a reservation in our program."~~Basic Text, page 79
A reservation is something we set aside for future use. In our case, a reservation is the expectation that, if such-and-such happens, we will surely relapse. What event do we expect will be too painful to bear? Maybe we think that if a spouse or lover leaves us, we will have to get high. If we lose our job, surely, we think, we will use. Or maybe it's the death of a loved one that we expect to be unbearable. In any case, the reservations we harbor give us permission to use when they come true-as they often do. 
We can prepare ourselves for success instead of relapse by examining our expectations and altering them where we can. Most of us carry within us a catalog of anticipated misery closely related to our fears. We can learn how to survive pain by watching other members live through similar pain. We can apply their lessons to our own expectations. Instead of telling ourselves we will have to get high if this happens, we can quietly reassure ourselves that we, too, can stay clean through whatever life brings us today.
Just for Today: I will check for any reservations that may endanger my recovery and share them with another addict.~~From the book Just for Today © Copyright 1991-2013 by Narcotics Anonymous World Services, Inc.
Thought for Today
"Happiness is a butterfly which when pursued is just out of grasp... But if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you."--Nathaniel Hawthorne
Buddha/Zen Thoughts
Tung-shan was asked, "The normal mind is the way; what is the normal mind?"
He replied, "Not picking things up along the road."~~From Teachings of Zen, edited by Thomas Cleary, 
Native American
The Old Man said, `you are both ugly and handsome and you must accept your ugliness as well as your handsomeness in order to really accept yourself."--Larry P. Aitken, CHIPPEWA
My Grandfather told me one time that any person who is judgmental to another is also judgmental to themselves. If we want to be free of being judgmental, we need to first work on how judgmental we are to ourselves. If we quit judging ourselves and start accepting ourselves as we are, we will start accepting others as they are. Then we will experience a level of new freedom.
Great Spirit, let me accept myself as I am --honoring both my strengths and my weaknesses. 
Keep It Simple
Changing brings questions, and questions bring change.--Anonymous
What am I becoming? How do I know if what I'm doing is right? Is it best for me? We are full of questions. Often, times of question are times of change. We are becoming something new, and there is always a little fear of change. Luckily, we don't need to know what we are becoming to find peace. What we need to know is what we believe in. And we'll become what we believe in. If we believe in sobriety, we'll be sober. If we believe in honesty, we'll struggle to be more honest. We must give ourselves the freedom of becoming. Becoming means we're on a trip, a journey. Over time, becoming takes on a comfort of its own.
Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, what am I becoming? I give up having to know the answer. All I need to believe is that You love me and will do what is best for me.
Action for the Day: I'll ask lots of questions. Often, the question is more important than the answer.
Big Book
"We are people who normally would not mix. But there exists among us a fellowship, a friendliness, and an understanding which is
indescribably wonderful."~~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, There Is A Solution, page 17
---------------------------
An Indescribable Benevolence ~ AA Grapevine August 1992  (thanks Ronny H)
Step Two can reveal our true colors
Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity." What does this Step mean to me, a woman with just nine months of sobriety in AA behind her? What was my process of "coming to believe," and in what way do I feel I am being "restored"?
At first I had to take this Step on faith alone. I knew I believed; but I did not begin to understand. Why would God bother with someone who had misused her energies, squandered opportunities, bruised the hearts of loved ones and ridden alcohol like a runaway horse to the gates of insanity and the brink of death?
Slowly I began to realize that "why" was the wrong question. One day when I was about three months sober, a quiet gentleman spoke up at my noon meeting and delivered a message which seemed to have my name written all over it. He said that we need only ask ourselves "how"--and that this question could be answered by three simple words: "honesty, open-mindedness, and willingness."
I was desperate enough to try anything--even follow directions. I began to share at meetings as honestly as I was able. The pain and ugliness that poured forth from those dark recesses within appalled me: but to my amazement, no one judged. My worst confessions were received with tenderness and even a certain reassuring humor. I began to see that all of us had suffered in many different ways, and that I was hardly unique in experiencing that terrible sense of being "in disgrace."
But wasn't "dis-grace" the opposite of God's grace, God's blessing, God's love? As I strove to keep an open mind, or at least to prevent the door from completely slamming shut, more things were revealed to me. My own active role in forsaking God became all too apparent. It seemed that I had "disgraced" myself, not so much through the recklessly hurtful actions I committed in my drunkenness, but in closing myself off from the infinite, mysterious How of divine love.
In opening my mind to new ways of loving and being (and sometimes, in my willingness, I could only manage the merest crack), I felt the gentle infusion of an indescribable benevolence. It was as if, in spite of myself, unconditional love insisted on streaming in through that crack in the door and filling the aching void, the God-shaped space in my heart. I felt his love in the embraces of fellow AA members, I witnessed his grace in the serenity shining from their eyes, and in the rollicking laughter which sometimes threatens to lift the roof at my home group meetings; I heard the music of recovery.
Willingness was simply given to me. I began to feel that my feet were keeping me sober; they unfailingly took me to a meeting even when the rest of me screamed in protest. As this willingness was planted in me and slowly, haltingly grew, I began to feel the subtle dawning of an amazing inner light: a sense that I was being restored.
How could God do this? Had I ever really been sane--and if I hadn't, where was the model for this restoration? Surely he had nothing to go on, no plan to follow. I began to doubt again, to wonder whether I even had enough inherent worthiness to warrant this miraculous process.
Then I began to realize, through other people's loving messages, that no one is entirely self-made. A woman in my Step group expressed it this way: "Who we are is God's gift to us. Who we become is our gift to God." It began to dawn on me that recovery is something like the restoration of a very old painting, covered over by layers and layers of darkening, distorted varnish. This process of restoration is so precious in God's eyes and is undertaken with such infinite care that not all of the underlying pattern can be revealed at one time. What is uncovered, bit by bit and layer by slow, careful layer, are the things which are necessary and appropriate for me to know about myself right now.
Moreover, no painting paints itself; we are masterworks, all lovingly created by God's hands. Whether our colors are vivid or subtle, whether the design is boldly abstract or serenely pastoral is not our choice. Ours is only to accept this work of art as given--to strive to reveal our true colors and the beauty of our true design in everything we say and think and do.
I do not begin to understand the miracle of this restoration in my own life. I only know that it is happening, and that it is not a mistake. A sense of my own worthiness is restored only very slowly; it is as if God knows I must be responsible for past damage and be more careful in the future if I am able to feel truly worthy. Though God loves me unconditionally, I will have to live my own faith, cherish each day of my recovery, and practice unconditional love to the best of my limited ability before I can whole-heartedly love myself.
The process is slow and often painful, and sometimes I feel I have barely begun. But when frustration or impatience overtake me, or when ego threatens to override all the progress I have made, I try to remember that God is the master painter--the spirit which inspired the works of Michelangelo, Renoir, and Van Gogh--the loving force which is even at this moment restoring the damaged painting of my life to its original luster and irreplaceable design.
Who better to carry out this loving and painstaking restoration than the master himself?~~Margaret G., Port Coquitlam, British Columbia
~~~~~~~
If you're not enjoying your sobriety it's your own damn fault!
~~~~~~~