From the Lewis Center for Church Leadership of Wesley Theological Seminary
Churches often welcome young adults with such urgency and expectation that younger visitors can feel overwhelmed. Scott Chrostek, pastor of Resurrection Downtown, says it is actually more hospitable to maintain their sense of anonymity and personal privacy in worship -- to help them blend in and feel comfortable without attracting undue attention.
There is an urgency fueling churches these days. Churches are so eager to welcome young people that in their welcome, they too quickly move into pleas for deep commitment. In their haste to be welcoming, churches and their leaders are actually compromising their ability to be hospitable. In the hopes of securing participation and involvement from younger people, they end up singling out an entire segment of the population. Young adults leave feeling as though the church doesn’t want them there in the hopes that they could meet God; they want them there simply to help them grow the church.
After several failed attempts at finding the “right” church, my sister Jill, who is approaching her thirties, shared with me that she longs to become a part of a church that is friendly and hospitable to all people, regardless of where they come from or what they’ve been through. But she wants her church also to foster a sense of anonymity. Meaning, she wants to be welcomed and made to feel at home and then she wants to be able to hide, to be anonymous, or free to go at her own pace or sink into the rhythm and practices of the church. She longs for anonymity.
In the same way that everyone must be welcomed, recognized, and made to feel at home, churches and their leaders must also cultivate a feeling of anonymity within the environment. A key to facilitating anonymity is preserving a sense of personal privacy within the worshipping congregation. People must be made to feel comfortable in worship by thinking that nobody is watching, and they must be given proper instruction to the extent that they know the importance of why we do the things we do and how to do them so that they won’t draw any unwarranted attention by participating. To accomplish this, there are several things leaders can do beyond restraining our desire to secure deep commitment from Millennials after their first encounter.
1. Don’t assume everyone is on the same page.
There are a lot of customs and rituals that happen in worship that don’t happen anywhere else in the world. If you stop to think about it, the church is the only place where people are invited to sing aloud to songs they do not know in front of total strangers. Additionally, we have people regularly stand up, sit down, and sometimes kneel over the course of an hour. In that same time, we’ll invite people to introduce themselves to perfect strangers. We’ll instruct them to “pass the peace”; we have people put their money in a plate that passes by, and we have them take bread, dip it into a cup of grape juice, and eat it. In worship, we have people do all of these things that don’t happen anywhere else in their daily lives and hope they feel comfortable doing so. For this to happen, we need to create a sense of anonymity.
2. Adjust the lighting and sound.
One of the easiest ways congregations can seek to create this sense of anonymity is by taking measures to dim the sanctuary lights so that visibility within the congregation is reduced. In a low-lit sanctuary, worship participants can experience an environment where one might feel free to cry, laugh, sing, or even fall asleep without the fear of everyone noticing, including the pastor. Increasing the light levels on the chancel or stage will do the same thing. It will preserve anonymity by drawing all attention forward, and using a centrally located screen or pulpit will enhance our focus toward the front and reduce the distraction of wandering eyes. Boosting volume within the sanctuary has the same effect. If there are ways you can help people to sing, it’s by drowning their fear of being heard with a loud house.
3. Over-explain the elements of worship.
Another way to create a space where one can feel anonymous is through the use of context or over-explaining all movement and activity within the worship service. One of the easiest ways to be noticed as an outsider in a worship service occurs every time someone is unsure of what he or she is supposed to do or how they should act. Context is how we explain and offer instruction as to the how and why of what we do. Worship leaders should introduce the songs we sing with a backstory and inspired intentionality as to why they chose this song for worship. Similarly, pastors should take responsibility for explaining the importance of prayer before inviting congregations to pray and display the words to any congregational prayers or recited creed. Finally, we should unpack the offering as opposed to passing the plates and expecting people to instinctively know what to do.
These are simple ways to help people blend in, feel comfortable, and allow them to understand the why and how of worship so that they can participate fully without drawing undue attention upon themselves.
This material is adapted from Scott Crostek’s book The Kaleidoscope Effect: What Emerging Generations Seek in Leaders (Abingdon Press, 2017). Used by permission. The book is available at Cokesbury and Amazon.
Related Resources:
Churches often welcome young adults with such urgency and expectation that younger visitors can feel overwhelmed. Scott Chrostek, pastor of Resurrection Downtown, says it is actually more hospitable to maintain their sense of anonymity and personal privacy in worship -- to help them blend in and feel comfortable without attracting undue attention.
There is an urgency fueling churches these days. Churches are so eager to welcome young people that in their welcome, they too quickly move into pleas for deep commitment. In their haste to be welcoming, churches and their leaders are actually compromising their ability to be hospitable. In the hopes of securing participation and involvement from younger people, they end up singling out an entire segment of the population. Young adults leave feeling as though the church doesn’t want them there in the hopes that they could meet God; they want them there simply to help them grow the church.
People must be made to feel comfortable in worship by thinking that nobody is watching, and they must be given proper instruction to the extent that they know the importance of why we do the things we do and how to do them so that they won’t draw any unwarranted attention by participating.
This is self-serving, alienating, and isolating, rather than hospitable. It forces young people into a place where they feel as though they are standing out in a crowd even more than they already are. This becomes especially harmful when these same churches don’t apply the same type of urgency or expectation to every first-time visitor, just the young adults.After several failed attempts at finding the “right” church, my sister Jill, who is approaching her thirties, shared with me that she longs to become a part of a church that is friendly and hospitable to all people, regardless of where they come from or what they’ve been through. But she wants her church also to foster a sense of anonymity. Meaning, she wants to be welcomed and made to feel at home and then she wants to be able to hide, to be anonymous, or free to go at her own pace or sink into the rhythm and practices of the church. She longs for anonymity.
In the same way that everyone must be welcomed, recognized, and made to feel at home, churches and their leaders must also cultivate a feeling of anonymity within the environment. A key to facilitating anonymity is preserving a sense of personal privacy within the worshipping congregation. People must be made to feel comfortable in worship by thinking that nobody is watching, and they must be given proper instruction to the extent that they know the importance of why we do the things we do and how to do them so that they won’t draw any unwarranted attention by participating. To accomplish this, there are several things leaders can do beyond restraining our desire to secure deep commitment from Millennials after their first encounter.
1. Don’t assume everyone is on the same page.
There are a lot of customs and rituals that happen in worship that don’t happen anywhere else in the world. If you stop to think about it, the church is the only place where people are invited to sing aloud to songs they do not know in front of total strangers. Additionally, we have people regularly stand up, sit down, and sometimes kneel over the course of an hour. In that same time, we’ll invite people to introduce themselves to perfect strangers. We’ll instruct them to “pass the peace”; we have people put their money in a plate that passes by, and we have them take bread, dip it into a cup of grape juice, and eat it. In worship, we have people do all of these things that don’t happen anywhere else in their daily lives and hope they feel comfortable doing so. For this to happen, we need to create a sense of anonymity.
2. Adjust the lighting and sound.
One of the easiest ways congregations can seek to create this sense of anonymity is by taking measures to dim the sanctuary lights so that visibility within the congregation is reduced. In a low-lit sanctuary, worship participants can experience an environment where one might feel free to cry, laugh, sing, or even fall asleep without the fear of everyone noticing, including the pastor. Increasing the light levels on the chancel or stage will do the same thing. It will preserve anonymity by drawing all attention forward, and using a centrally located screen or pulpit will enhance our focus toward the front and reduce the distraction of wandering eyes. Boosting volume within the sanctuary has the same effect. If there are ways you can help people to sing, it’s by drowning their fear of being heard with a loud house.
3. Over-explain the elements of worship.
Another way to create a space where one can feel anonymous is through the use of context or over-explaining all movement and activity within the worship service. One of the easiest ways to be noticed as an outsider in a worship service occurs every time someone is unsure of what he or she is supposed to do or how they should act. Context is how we explain and offer instruction as to the how and why of what we do. Worship leaders should introduce the songs we sing with a backstory and inspired intentionality as to why they chose this song for worship. Similarly, pastors should take responsibility for explaining the importance of prayer before inviting congregations to pray and display the words to any congregational prayers or recited creed. Finally, we should unpack the offering as opposed to passing the plates and expecting people to instinctively know what to do.
These are simple ways to help people blend in, feel comfortable, and allow them to understand the why and how of worship so that they can participate fully without drawing undue attention upon themselves.
This material is adapted from Scott Crostek’s book The Kaleidoscope Effect: What Emerging Generations Seek in Leaders (Abingdon Press, 2017). Used by permission. The book is available at Cokesbury and Amazon.
Related Resources:
- 5 Keys to Cultivating an Environment Irresistible to Emerging Generations by Scott Chrostek
- Lessons from Churches that Reach Young Adults by Lovett H. Weems, Jr.
- 10 Qualities Your Church Doesn’t Need to Grow Young by Kara Powell, Brad Griffin and Jake Mulder
3 Suggestions When a Ministry Project is Unsuccessful by Vincent W. HowellPastor Vincent Howell, an expert on project management in ministry, says even when a project doesn't fully meet expectations, it's important to keep a positive outlook and learn from the experience so that team members are encouraged to try new things without fear of failure.
Not all projects, no matter how well-intentioned, will achieve the planned objectives. So, it’s important to explore what to do if a project is not successful.
First and foremost, don’t panic. Churches should not fear failure as we approach ministry projects, because Christ calls us to make disciples, and that requires us to be innovative and to learn from our experiences. Jesus makes this clear in his parable of the talents. In that story, two of the servants had a positive approach as they sought to increase the treasure for which they had been given responsibility. But the first servant was afraid of failure, so he acted conservatively, burying his talent instead of being innovative, and thus he had no increase (Matthew 25:14-30). None of us should approach doing the Lord’s work with a fear of failure, for we serve a Savior who does not give up on us even when we feel we have failed.
Encourage the project team to view its results as learning about what it can do better next time in the way that seeds are planted to grow for the future.
Consider these three suggestions when a ministry project does not achieve all its planned results:- Encourage the team to keep a positive outlook. Not achieving the initial objective does not mean ministry failure.
- Conduct a lessons-learned session to understand what the team should have done differently.
- Celebrate what was done well.
The church project manager is responsible to help the team deal with any frustration they might have. She or he must start by maintaining a personal positive outlook and then remind the team that they started the project with good intentions and that there is still value in a project that might be viewed as unsuccessful.
No project team should come away with a feeling of failure. The results of any project effort provide learning benefits for future project and ministry endeavors. We are reminded in Scripture:
- “Trust in the Lord with all your heart. Never rely on what you think you know. Remember the Lord in everything you do, and he will show you the right way.” (Proverbs 3:5-6, GNT)
- “And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.” (Galatians 6:9, ESV)
2. Conduct a lessons-learned session.
The church can learn from a project experience even if the objective is not fully achieved. This is of benefit to the project team itself and can be helpful for avoiding past pitfalls in a future project. Conducting the lessons learned in this context becomes a problem-solving session, allowing the team to look for root causes of what went wrong. The benefit of understanding “why” can also serve as a positive motivator when the group identifies through its analysis what could have been done differently to get a positive result. Therefore, a lessons-learned activity for a less-than-successful project provides an opportunity for positive reflection for future improvement.
3. Celebrate what was done well.
Since lessons can be learned from a less-than-successful project, instead of brushing the results of the project under the rug, encourage the team to create a celebration and recognition event that celebrates its positive results and its lessons learned. By celebrating projects that did not quite meet full expectations but were successful in producing new learning, the organization fosters a positive culture of ministry innovation and thereby encourages team members to try new things without fear of failure.
Reprinted from Managing Projects in Ministry by Vincent W. Howell, copyright © 2017 by Judson Press. Used by permission of Judson Press, 800-4-JUDSON, judsonpress.com. The book is available at Cokesbury and Amazon.
Related Resources:
- Learning from Failure by Christian Coon
- The Power of Five Questions by Matthew T. Curry
The Right Question:
Leaders do not need answers. Leaders must have the right questions.
Lee Kricher suggests that churches ask this question among their members to get their impressions and then turn to recent census data to determine what the reality is.
- Generally, how do you think the average age of the people who attend our church compares with the average age of the people in the surrounding community?
Watch Videos to Help You Reach More, Younger, and More Diverse People"There is no future for a church or denomination that cannot reach more people, younger people, and more diverse people," says Dr. Lovett H. Weems, Jr. Three speakers addressed this challenge at a recent symposium honoring Dr. Weems's accomplishments. Watch Bishop Kenneth H. Carter, Bishop Janice Riggle Huie, and Rev. Dr. Joseph W. Daniels examine the need to reach more, younger, and more diverse people.
Watch now.
50 Ways to Welcome New PeopleOne key to effective outreach is making sure that worship visitors feel truly welcome. The strategies and tips in "50 Ways to Welcome New People" will help your congregation make a good first impression and extend hospitality in meaningful ways.
One key to effective outreach is making sure that worship visitors feel truly welcome. These 50 Ways will help your congregation make a good first impression and extend hospitality in meaningful ways.
Engage your leaders and members
- Teach that hospitality is at the core of the Gospel.
- Teach your congregation to honor Christ in everyone and that God seeks to be in relationship with ALL persons.
Make a good first Impression
- Convey a clear invitation and a statement of welcome in all communications directed at the external community — advertisements, banners, flyers, website, etc.
- Know that 40% of visitors make up their mind about a church before they even see the pastor, according to Barna Research. Within two minutes of the beginning of a service visitors have formed an opinion about whether the congregation is friendly.
- Care for your building and grounds as a way of honoring your attendees and honoring God. A well-cared-for building demonstrates a commitment to excellence and communicates that what the church does is important.
- Have clear exterior and interior signage that guides visitors everywhere they need to go.
- Reserve special parking places for visitors. Encourage church members and staff to park offsite or in more remote spaces. If parking lot congestion is an issue, recruit volunteer parking attendants.
- Make your nursery clean, safe, sanitary, well-equipped, and visually appealing to children and their parents. Use a space that is easy to find and convenient to the sanctuary. Make sure your nursery workers and procedures inspire confidence on the part of parents.
- Make sure your restrooms and neat and clean.
Be intentional about saying hello and goodbye
- Station greeters at all entrances, in classroom areas, and in the parking lot or entry walks, if appropriate.
- Identify your greeters and ushers with a special badge or name tag so visitors who need information can easily identify them.
- Encourage friendly, out-going persons with the gift of “hospitality” to serve as greeters and ushers. Don’t expect that just anyone can do these jobs well. Provide regular training that helps them see the church through a visitor’s eyes.
- Escort newcomers to the nursery, classrooms, coffee hour, etc. Don’t just point the way or give directions.
- Adopt the “rule of three,” which says members will not talk to other members in the first three minutes following the service — typically how long it takes guests to exit.
- Enact the “circle of ten” rule — that each member will greet anyone, member or guest, who comes within ten feet of them.
- Say, “I don’t think we’ve met before. …” if you are not sure if the person next to you is a member or a visitor.
- Ask outgoing church members to sit in the pews where visitors most commonly sit, often near the entrance or in the back.
- Post someone at every exit to shake hands and thank people for coming. Ask worship participants (readers, music leaders, liturgists, etc.,) to do this since their faces will be familiar.
Help newcomers feel at home in worship
- Accept and encourage casual attire.
- Do not ask visitors to stand and identify themselves. Seventy percent of new attendees feel negatively about being recognized. However, they do expect people to be friendly and welcoming.
- Provide nametags for the whole congregation and develop the habit of wearing them. Form a “tag team” to organize and promote name tag use.
- Review your church bulletin and other printed material to make sure information is not “insider oriented.” Avoid church jargon and assuming that people understand the context.
- Make sure your order of worship is easy for a visitor to follow. Include written or verbal explanations of what is going on and why. Print the words to all prayers, songs, and responses.
- Sing at least one hymn each Sunday that is well known outside the church, such as “Amazing Grace,” “Joyful Joyful,” or “Morning Has Broken.”
- Include a welcome to visitors in the open words before the service. Make sure the person speaking identifies him or herself. It is best for the pastor to issue this welcome.
- Remember that visitors sometimes arrive a few minutes late. Don’t front load all the information directed at them.
- Place information about your church’s ministries where a visitor can easily find it — preferably in the pew, or a clearly marked location near the entry points used by visitors. Don’t expect them to go someplace else to find it.
- Prepare Visitors Packets to be handed out by greeters with information about your church programs.
- Give visitors with small children a small activity packet (with crayons, pipe cleaners, stickers, etc.) as they enter worship.
- Avoid all talk about money with visitors.
- Keep the discussion of “family business” to a minimum in the services. Limit announcements.
Follow up with your visitors
- Get the names and addresses of first-time visitors. Some churches use visitors’ cards, but asking ALL worshippers to record attendance makes it more likely visitors will sign. Visitors don’t want to be singled out.
- Make a special effort to remember visitors’ names and call them by name.
- Make at least one follow-up contact with first-time visitors within 24 to 36 hours of their visit — a letter from the pastor, a phone call, a hand-written note, an email message. Many churches deliver a gift, such as freshly baked cookies or a church coffee mug, to visitors’ homes. The purpose is to communicate friendliness, not get a membership commitment.
- Develop a system or data base for keeping track of visitors, their contact information, and the frequency of visits. A mailing list of persons who have visited in the past is one of your best marketing tools.
- Don’t overlook visitors who come to the church for the first time for an event other than worship.
- Once someone has attended three times, they should be invited to join the church with a pastoral visit and/or an invitation to take part in an inquirers or new member class.
- Encourage visitors to get connected with activities and groups, even if they are not ready to join.
Be more inviting
- Hold an Open House Sunday at least once a year.
- Organize a “bring-a-friend” Sunday at least once a year.
- Extend extra hospitality during back-to-school time, Christmas and Easter, when persons are most likely to consider visiting a church.
- Start a personal invitation ministry. Three out of four people attend a church for the first time because they were invited. Yet less than half of church members say they have invited someone in the last year.
- Provide training to members on how to invite others to church.
- Print special invitations to Christmas Eve services that people can deliver to friends.
- Plan special events — concerts, lectures, etc. — that appeal to those outside the church and that members feel comfortable inviting someone to.
- Have special recognition Sundays for scout groups, preschool families, or other community groups meeting in your church to encourage them to attend worship.
Become more aware of visitors and their concerns
- Gather feedback on how visitors respond to your church through surveys, focus groups, or interviews.
- Conduct a “welcome audit” annually.
- Provide training on welcoming at least once a year.
- Send your welcome team to visit other churches and report back on how they experienced their reception.
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Reach New Disciples with the “Connect with Your Neighbors” Video Tool Kit
Learn to connect with your church’s neighbors through understanding, engagement, and service. This tool kit includes engaging videos, presentations, and supplemental materials you can use for self study or with groups in your church to help you reach new disciples. Learn more and watch introductory videos now.
Learn to Reach Younger Generations with “The New Welcome”
Learn concepts and strategies to welcome and respond to your first-time and repeat visitors, reach younger generations, expand your church’s entry points, and get new people involved. The New Welcome Video Tool Kit helps you open your church to the transformative presence of new people — welcoming newcomers by acknowledging the changing ways that people enter into the life of churches. Learn more and watch introductory videos now.
Read now and download free.Quotable Leadership:
I do not at all understand the mystery of grace -- only that it meets us where we are but does not leave us where it found us. (Anne Lamott)
Support the Lewis Center with Your Holiday ShoppingThank you to all who support the mission of the Lewis Center when you shop at Cokesbury.com and Amazon.com. It's easy, and it won't cost you a cent extra. Simply enter the shopping sites though the links above or at churchleadership.com, and the Lewis Center receives a portion of every purchase.
Adult Education Studies for Your Small GroupsThe Lewis Center is the new home of the Wesley Ministry Network -- video-based ecumenical studies that encourage energetic discussion and personal reflection. Ideal for your congregation's small groups, adult Bible studies, and Sunday School classes, courses include lessons on DVD, Leader's Guides, Participant's Guides, and more.
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Editor: Dr. Ann A. Michel
Copyright © 2004-2017 Lewis Center for Church Leadership of Wesley Theological Seminary
churchleadership.com/leadingideas
Connect with the Lewis Center:
Lewis Center for Church Leadership
Wesley Theological Seminary
4500 Massachusetts Avenue North West
Washington, D.C. 20016, United States
Copyright © 2004-2017 Lewis Center for Church Leadership of Wesley Theological Seminary
churchleadership.com/leadingideas
Connect with the Lewis Center:
Lewis Center for Church Leadership
Wesley Theological Seminary
4500 Massachusetts Avenue North West
Washington, D.C. 20016, United States
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