"It is not good for man to be alone"
Genesis 2:18
I have always found this verse puzzling. Adam and God are walking together in perfect harmony and yet something is not right. Even in this place of unbroken relationship with the Almighty; Adam was not complete.
From the very beginning (and by ‘the’ beginning I mean Genesis 1 not Genesis 3) the plan was man and woman together. The plan was community. The plan was relationship.
There is something of the divine found as man and woman live in covenant. Together discovering and representing the fullness of God.
Family Under Threat
With all this potential, is it any surprise that covenant, marriage and family has become one of the biggest battlegrounds of the 21st century?
Over the past few years it's become the 'in-thing' to dismiss Valentine’s Day, seeing it as nothing more than a nuisance - a 'Hallmark' holiday of cuddly teddy bears and boxes of chocolates.
It makes singles lonely, long-term partners pressured and smitten lovers poor.
We are a generation who are forgetting what it means to be in committed relationships. The Guardian reported that in the UK alone, 13 divorces were granted every hour in 2012, one in seven were due to adultery.
At the end of 2012 it was reported that a staggering 42% of all marriages will end in divorce.
We need to think about what that statistic actually means. Almost half of every marriage is destined to fail.
Something is terribly wrong.
It is easy to point the blame; 'surely' it’s Hollywood for giving us false impressions of love, Photoshop for giving us unrealistic impressions of beauty or maybe it’s just that life is simply too busy these days to be able to give a relationship the attention it needs.
Or, most scary of all, maybe marriage is just a prehistoric notion from a time passed. Every person is an island - people can visit, but none can stay.
And yet the words of Paul in Ephesians still ring true, marriage is a wonderful and sacred thing that demonstrates how Jesus loves the church. The most intense, passionate, sacrificial love the world has ever known – all embodied in the beauty of committed relationship.
Marriage is, and always will be, one of God’s most spectacular ideas.

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A Challenge to Couples
So you have made up your mind to not give in to the pressure, you won’t be ‘forced’ to show your partner love on Hallmark’s clock.
Ok, but then what?
Honestly I don’t think it matters, buy a card or don’t buy a card. Just don’t let boycotting Hallmark become more important than showing your partner you cherish them.
Marriage is crumbling, but we are called to shine like stars in a broken and corrupt generation.
I am not married, but every time I see the type of marriage I hope to one day have, they tell me the same key to success: Marriages require work, everyday.
Don’t show your partner you love them because it’s Valentine’s Day, do it because you love them. And do something that they would love.
A Challenge to Singles
First of all, it’s ok to want a relationship. In fact Proverbs says that he who finds a wife finds a good thing. If you care about being married, so does God.
I have been single for seven years. If you let it, Valentine's Day can become like a pressure cooker of hopelessness, disappointment, anxiety and pain.
But remember, you may not have ‘the one’ to show your love to today, but we live in a world which is broken and hurting and desperate for love.
Self-pity is deadly. It forces you to focus on yourself and, while your vision is turned inwards, you forget about the rest of the world.
Relationships are a gift. Singleness can be a gift too. If Valentine’s Day is a day to remind people to show each other love, then good for Valentine’s Day.
Don’t let Valentine’s Day become a day of pain, make it a day of purpose.
- Pray for the person that God has for you (if that is what you want)
- Pray for marriage, family is so vital for community to survive
- Pray for the broken hearted
- Pray that God would show you what true love looks like. Spend some time meditating on 1 Cor 13. Pick one from the list that you most struggle with and ask the Holy Spirit to help that area grow.
And go out and demonstrate God’s love to someone.
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