[Annesley Writers Forum] "Stories of Change: Wide Open Spaces" by Brittany Lenertz for Monday, 21 July 2014

[Annesley Writers Forum] "Stories of Change: Wide Open Spaces" by Brittany Lenertz for Monday, 21 July 2014
And I’ll stride freely in wide open spaces as I look for your truth and your wisdom. )Psalm 119:45 (The Message))
I jogged down the country gravel road with my dad’s dog beside me, inhaling the scents of grass, clover, wheat, and wildflowers that only a South Dakota summer produces.  The road stretched on and on and on for miles ahead of me, without a hill or curve in sight, as it can only do in the country in South Dakota.  It all seemed so big and so vast, and I realized this is where I feel closest to God: in the places where I can breathe.
I wasn’t feeling particularly close to Him in the hospital room where my dad was dying.  I was seeking His guidance as I tried to help my mom make decisions and relay information as accurately as possible to my siblings and husband in other states.  I was spending time praying with my dad, reading scripture and singing hymns to him, but I felt alone and helpless in that place.
I wasn’t feeling particularly close to Him in my car when I made the 17 hour drive by myself from Michigan to South Dakota.  I was crying out to Him for strength and comfort for myself, my mom, and for my sister who was waiting for me to get there before she left.
I wasn’t feeling particularly close to Him in my home where I waited helplessly. I was waiting to know whether I should go to my dad or stay in our neighborhood place of ministry, the place where I was going about God’s work, doing ministry, and raising children to love Him.
But here, in the open, where I felt so small and insignificant, I also felt free and connected.  Looking down the road, it was as though I was looking down God’s path for me, and I knew I could follow it.  Nothing changed – my dad was still in the hospital and would die a month later.  My husband and daughters were still 1,000 miles away.  I still didn’t know what the next months or week or day would hold, but I knew in that wide open space that God was in control and no circumstance that I was dealing with could change that.
When I close my eyes and search for a meaningful summer moment, that is the moment I remember- breathing in the country air and inhaling God’s grace and control. It would prove to be enough to sustain me through the days ahead.
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