Wednesday, January 31, 2018
4 Reasons Visitors Do Not Return by Doug PoweLewis Center Director F. Douglas Powe says it's important not only to attract visitors, but to create a space where they will want to stay. Congregations wondering why their visitors don't return need to honestly assess how they respond to visitors and what their church has to offer. Read more.It is not unusual to hear a parishioner say, “We are a friendly church. Why don’t visitors come back?” Many congregations struggle to understand why they get visitors who seem to enjoy their visit and say they are returning soon, but never visit again. This can be extremely frustrating, especially for a congregation seeking to grow. The question is, “Why don’t they come back?”
Sometimes, when visiting a congregation, it feels like vultures are waiting to pounce as soon as you arrive. It’s as if a target appears on the visitor’s back.
1. Inwardly friendly
I have visited my share of congregations over the years and all of them claim to be the friendliest church. Yet, what I observe and what I am sure others experience is that people in these churches are friendly — but they are friendly to each other. Often, during the passing of the peace or congregational greeting time, parishioners greet one another warmly, but guests are left feeling like outsiders. It is not that people are not speaking to them, but that people are brushing past them quickly, so they can connect with those they know in the congregation. When this happens over and over again, it makes a visitor feel like an intruder and not a guest.
2. Uninspiring worship
If the point of contact for a visitor is worship, then nothing is worse than uninspiring worship. The sermon feels like it was a Sunday morning special. The music feels like the congregation has been singing the same hymns every Sunday for a year. In general, there is a sense that folk are there out of obligation and not because they expect to experience God’s transforming love and grace. Visitors are likely to sense quickly when things are done out of obligation rather than a true sense of investment. In a worship experience where it is obvious that even the regulars don’t really want to be present, guests certainly will not feel inspired.
3. Vulture syndrome
Sometimes, when visiting a congregation, it feels like vultures are waiting to pounce as soon as you arrive. You’ve barely made it through the door and someone is already signing you up to be the chair of the trustee committee. Obviously, this scenario is exaggerated, but there is still truth to it. When congregations are struggling to fill leadership positions and someone new walks through their doors, it’s as if a target appears on the visitor’s back. The visitor may well be open to serving in leadership, but the first visit isn’t the time for a visitor to hear about all the ways their gifts can be used.
4. No ministries
Even though a visitor isn’t likely to commit on Day One, the fact of the matter is many visitors are looking for ways to get involved. And this can be a challenge in many churches, especially smaller churches, where the only things going on are Sunday worship and one Sunday School class. A visitor interested in making a difference in the community or some other form of outreach, will quickly discover there is no outlet for their interest. This challenge is magnified when visiting families expect activities for the children. Even if they enjoy the worship experience or the Sunday School class they often do not return because nothing exists for their children.
Assess your strengths and weaknesses
The bottom line is that all congregations should honestly assess their strengths and weaknesses as they relate to visitors. One way of doing this is to ask someone who is unfamiliar to the congregation to visit and then report back on their experience. This can open the eyes of the congregation to areas that may need to be addressed. It may not be possible to resolve every issue, but tackling one or two is important — for example, making sure parishioners do not simply brush past visitors to get to friends and making changes to the worship experience that will inspire others to experience God’s love and grace. It is important not only to bring in people, but to create a space where they will want to stay.
Related Resources
- Pet Peeves of a Church Visitor by Greg Atkinson
- The New Welcome Video Tool Kit
- “50 Ways to Welcome New People,” a free resource from the Lewis Center
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Accountability without Control by Lovett H. Weems, Jr.Lovett H. Weems, Jr., explains that in these times, when church leaders can rely less on structure and hierarchy to undergird their authority, accountability flows from faithfulness to mission, vision, and values, not hierarchical control.
Read more.
Rosabeth Moss Kanter speaks of a new kind of leader. These new leaders must learn to operate “without the might of hierarchy behind them.” The crutch of authority, she says, must be thrown away.
Authority is available as a source of power in an inverse ratio to its use. The more you claim authority, the less power it has.
Having to lead without depending on structure, hierarchy, and authority presents a new challenge for the leader operating in these times. Faced with the frustrations of a time when there is so much suspicion of and resistance to institutions and leaders, persons in leadership often respond in two equally problematic ways. Some will continue to rely on authority more and more, as if the more one claims authority the more influence one has. The reality is just the opposite. Authority is available as a source of power in an inverse ratio to its use; i.e., the more you claim authority, the less power it has.
The opposite extreme so many leaders take is to give in to the resistance and become managers. Some will call themselves “enablers,” others “facilitators,” and still others “empowerers.” Good leaders do at times enable, facilitate, and empower. Yet many who latch on to these descriptions for their total leadership seem actually to function in a way very close to what Robert Blake and Jane Mouton describe in their Managerial Grid as “country club management.” Here the leader is no more or less than the director of a voluntary association. Such leaders function as if the group is everything, and there is no larger purpose or mission requiring faithfulness.
Accountability to mission, vision, and values
A third alternative option is to see one’s role as leader as helping to ensure accountability to the mission and vision — but without control. This sounds difficult. It may even seem impossible! On the other hand, such an approach just may make accountability easier. Greater, not less, accountability may result.
Accountability may actually be easier since it is based now on faithfulness to our mission, vision, and values, and no longer on authority. It is based on what we as a people have affirmed as our mandate. Time is not spent by leaders telling people what they cannot do, but in asking people what they are doing about our shared commitments. People will be less likely to feel the need constantly to report what they will not do because no one is telling them anything they must do. Instead, everyone is busy being responsive to the shared vision because accountability is expected.
In many ways this is no different from the way John Wesley approached a number of issues. Regarding doctrine, Wesley dearly wished others would believe as he did. Yet he gave freedom of belief with accountability. One was free to believe but not free from belief. No energy was then needed for debates over freedom. The issue was never freedom but doctrine. So the time went to doctrinal accountability. Wesley constantly asked questions of people focused on not only what they believed, but also on issues of accountability and growth in discipleship. It was not enough simply to state one’s beliefs. In the absence of control, people felt more willing to talk about the basis for those beliefs, the logic of them, how they compared to others, and also what they meant for discipleship.
Freedom to restructure, but not freedom from accountability
An issue in recent times for denominational congregations is the desire to have more flexibility for establishing their own structures to meet their particular needs. This is a reasonable desire. Flexibility gives freedom from mandated structures but can never in the church give freedom from accountability for the mission. Bureaucracies often seek to mandate accountability through control of structures, among other things. That no longer works or is acceptable.
In this new situation it would be easy to confuse freedom for flexibility with freedom from accountability. Instead, the message to congregations is, more appropriately, that you are free to be flexible with your structure. You are not, however, free to structure in a way that does not promote the manifestation of the power of God where you have the calling of ministry.
Let us look at what accountability without control might mean for some other specific issues.
With the freedom of flexibility, congregations can structure as they think best to reach the diverse populations in their communities. There is no control of structure now, but accountability for the vision remains. So a congregation is free to structure for reaching diverse populations in any way it chooses with one exception. It is not free to structure in a way that does not result in the love of God through Christ becoming a reality for all the people they are called to serve. A congregation is free to plan its program of evangelism in any way it chooses. It is not free to have a program of evangelism unfaithful to the call of sharing Christ with a needful humanity. A congregation may choose to plan for children’s ministry in various ways. Accountability does not seek to control. Accountability does inquire why a children’s ministry does not result in reaching the children within the community. This accountability does ask about results.
The importance of right questions
How is such accountability without control best achieved? Accountability in our day will not come by mandates, legislation, or resolutions. Accountability instead may be achieved through the right questions. Leaders do not need all the answers. Leaders must have the right questions.
The background for every question must be what it is that God is calling us to do. The questions must be tied to the very reason we exist, or they will have neither credibility nor power. The questions need to call us back to the very values that brought us to faith in the first place. For them to be seen as worthy of attention and respect, they need to strike at the heart of who we are as Christians.
No longer will people be asked if they are following the process. No longer will an answer that we followed the process be adequate. Instead, does the process being followed address the need and the calling?
Related Resources
- Discovering God’s Future For Your Church Video Tool Kit
- Church Leadership: Vision, Team, Culture, Integrity, Revised Edition, (Abingdon Press, 2010) by Lovett H. Weems, Jr.
- The Importance of Why by Graham Standish
The Right Question
Leaders do not need answers. Leaders must have the right questions.
Regular worshipers are often too close to the church to see it from the perspective of the outsiders. Martha Grace Reese in Unbinding the Gospel suggests asking non-churchgoers to talk with you to get their perspective. Some examples of suggested questions are:
- Has anyone ever invited you to their church? What did you think when they asked you? Did you go? How did it feel? If you didn't go, why not?
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Learn to Connect with Your Church's NeighborsThe Connect with Your Neighbors Video Tool Kitprovides you with tools and strategies to welcome your neighbors and improve worship attendance. Topics include: The Theology of Welcome; Discovering the People God has Given Us; Ways to Understand Your Neighbors Better; Discovering Who Your Neighbors Are; Needs-based Community Outreach; and more.
Learn more and watch introductory videos.
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50 Ways to Welcome New PeopleOne key to effective outreach is making sure that worship visitors feel truly welcome. The strategies and tips in "50 Ways to Welcome New People" will help your congregation make a good first impression and extend hospitality in meaningful ways.
Read now and download free.
One key to effective outreach is making sure that worship visitors feel truly welcome. These 50 Ways will help your congregation make a good first impression and extend hospitality in meaningful ways.
Engage your leaders and members
- Teach that hospitality is at the core of the Gospel.
- Teach your congregation to honor Christ in everyone and that God seeks to be in relationship with ALL persons.
Make a good first Impression
- Convey a clear invitation and a statement of welcome in all communications directed at the external community — advertisements, banners, flyers, website, etc.
- Know that 40% of visitors make up their mind about a church before they even see the pastor, according to Barna Research. Within two minutes of the beginning of a service visitors have formed an opinion about whether the congregation is friendly.
- Care for your building and grounds as a way of honoring your attendees and honoring God. A well-cared-for building demonstrates a commitment to excellence and communicates that what the church does is important.
- Have clear exterior and interior signage that guides visitors everywhere they need to go.
- Reserve special parking places for visitors. Encourage church members and staff to park offsite or in more remote spaces. If parking lot congestion is an issue, recruit volunteer parking attendants.
- Make your nursery clean, safe, sanitary, well-equipped, and visually appealing to children and their parents. Use a space that is easy to find and convenient to the sanctuary. Make sure your nursery workers and procedures inspire confidence on the part of parents.
- Make sure your restrooms and neat and clean.
Be intentional about saying hello and goodbye
- Station greeters at all entrances, in classroom areas, and in the parking lot or entry walks, if appropriate.
- Identify your greeters and ushers with a special badge or name tag so visitors who need information can easily identify them.
- Encourage friendly, out-going persons with the gift of “hospitality” to serve as greeters and ushers. Don’t expect that just anyone can do these jobs well. Provide regular training that helps them see the church through a visitor’s eyes.
- Escort newcomers to the nursery, classrooms, coffee hour, etc. Don’t just point the way or give directions.
- Adopt the “rule of three,” which says members will not talk to other members in the first three minutes following the service — typically how long it takes guests to exit.
- Enact the “circle of ten” rule — that each member will greet anyone, member or guest, who comes within ten feet of them.
- Say, “I don’t think we’ve met before. …” if you are not sure if the person next to you is a member or a visitor.
- Ask outgoing church members to sit in the pews where visitors most commonly sit, often near the entrance or in the back.
- Post someone at every exit to shake hands and thank people for coming. Ask worship participants (readers, music leaders, liturgists, etc.,) to do this since their faces will be familiar.
Help newcomers feel at home in worship
- Accept and encourage casual attire.
- Do not ask visitors to stand and identify themselves. Seventy percent of new attendees feel negatively about being recognized. However, they do expect people to be friendly and welcoming.
- Provide nametags for the whole congregation and develop the habit of wearing them. Form a “tag team” to organize and promote name tag use.
- Review your church bulletin and other printed material to make sure information is not “insider oriented.” Avoid church jargon and assuming that people understand the context.
- Make sure your order of worship is easy for a visitor to follow. Include written or verbal explanations of what is going on and why. Print the words to all prayers, songs, and responses.
- Sing at least one hymn each Sunday that is well known outside the church, such as “Amazing Grace,” “Joyful Joyful,” or “Morning Has Broken.”
- Include a welcome to visitors in the open words before the service. Make sure the person speaking identifies him or herself. It is best for the pastor to issue this welcome.
- Remember that visitors sometimes arrive a few minutes late. Don’t front load all the information directed at them.
- Place information about your church’s ministries where a visitor can easily find it — preferably in the pew, or a clearly marked location near the entry points used by visitors. Don’t expect them to go someplace else to find it.
- Prepare Visitors Packets to be handed out by greeters with information about your church programs.
- Give visitors with small children a small activity packet (with crayons, pipe cleaners, stickers, etc.) as they enter worship.
- Avoid all talk about money with visitors.
- Keep the discussion of “family business” to a minimum in the services. Limit announcements.
Follow up with your visitors
- Get the names and addresses of first-time visitors. Some churches use visitors’ cards, but asking ALL worshippers to record attendance makes it more likely visitors will sign. Visitors don’t want to be singled out.
- Make a special effort to remember visitors’ names and call them by name.
- Make at least one follow-up contact with first-time visitors within 24 to 36 hours of their visit — a letter from the pastor, a phone call, a hand-written note, an email message. Many churches deliver a gift, such as freshly baked cookies or a church coffee mug, to visitors’ homes. The purpose is to communicate friendliness, not get a membership commitment.
- Develop a system or data base for keeping track of visitors, their contact information, and the frequency of visits. A mailing list of persons who have visited in the past is one of your best marketing tools.
- Don’t overlook visitors who come to the church for the first time for an event other than worship.
- Once someone has attended three times, they should be invited to join the church with a pastoral visit and/or an invitation to take part in an inquirers or new member class.
- Encourage visitors to get connected with activities and groups, even if they are not ready to join.
Be more inviting
- Hold an Open House Sunday at least once a year.
- Organize a “bring-a-friend” Sunday at least once a year.
- Extend extra hospitality during back-to-school time, Christmas and Easter, when persons are most likely to consider visiting a church.
- Start a personal invitation ministry. Three out of four people attend a church for the first time because they were invited. Yet less than half of church members say they have invited someone in the last year.
- Provide training to members on how to invite others to church.
- Print special invitations to Christmas Eve services that people can deliver to friends.
- Plan special events — concerts, lectures, etc. — that appeal to those outside the church and that members feel comfortable inviting someone to.
- Have special recognition Sundays for scout groups, preschool families, or other community groups meeting in your church to encourage them to attend worship.
Become more aware of visitors and their concerns
- Gather feedback on how visitors respond to your church through surveys, focus groups, or interviews.
- Conduct a “welcome audit” annually.
- Provide training on welcoming at least once a year.
- Send your welcome team to visit other churches and report back on how they experienced their reception.
Download a PDF of this page to share with others.
Reach New Disciples with the “Connect with Your Neighbors” Video Tool Kit
Learn to connect with your church’s neighbors through understanding, engagement, and service. This tool kit includes engaging videos, presentations, and supplemental materials you can use for self study or with groups in your church to help you reach new disciples. Learn more and watch introductory videos now.
Learn to Reach Younger Generations with “The New Welcome”
Learn concepts and strategies to welcome and respond to your first-time and repeat visitors, reach younger generations, expand your church’s entry points, and get new people involved. The New Welcome Video Tool Kit helps you open your church to the transformative presence of new people — welcoming newcomers by acknowledging the changing ways that people enter into the life of churches. Learn more and watch introductory videos now.
***Quotable Leadership
Change sticks when leaders actually model behavior, not mandate it. (Lisa Bodell)
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Will Your Church Meet Its Budget This Year?To answer this vital question you need to track giving accurately according to your church's unique pattern of giving -- not simply the budget divided by 12 months. Our Congregational Giving Profile Video Tool Kit helps you track finances based on the way people in your church actually give, establishing a more meaningful system of monitoring and reporting progress on your budget.
Learn more and watch an introductory video now.
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Apply Now for Doctor of Ministry in Church Leadership at WesleyNew cohort begins May 2018 in Washington, DC
Wesley Theological Seminary and the Lewis Center together offer a Doctor of Ministry in Church Leadership Excellence. With this track, clergy will receive the enhanced knowledge, skills, and motivation to increase congregational and denominational service, vitality, and growth.
Learn more and apply today.
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Editor: Dr. Ann A. Michel
Copyright © 2004-2018 Lewis Center for Church Leadership of Wesley Theological Seminary
Connect with the Lewis Center:
Lewis Center for Church Leadership
Wesley Theological Seminary
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