E-Speaks eNewsletter
This weekend we celebrate all moms, grandmas, sisters and other caregivers in the autism community who so tirelessly devote themselves to caring for and supporting their children. Thank you for all you do. You help make the world a more understanding and accepting place for children and adults with autism.Thank you, Moms, for inspiring us all
Thank you, Moms, for inspiring us all
This Mother’s Day, Autism Speaks celebrates all of the moms in our community.
Autism moms often face challenges, but your dedication to helping your child reach his or her goals and succeed to the best of his or her abilities, combined with your work to make the world a more accepting and understanding place for your child, are the truest examples of unconditional love and selflessness.For World Autism Month this year, nearly 5,000 people in the autism community around the world shared their autism storieswith Autism Speaks. Many stories came from moms like you looking to share with the world the pride and love you feel for your children. These stories have inspired other moms looking for support and encouragement as they raise their children with autism.
To celebrate moms this Mother’s Day, we want to share some of the words of wisdom and inspiration from these incredible moms.
Pierce’s journey is our families journey. I cannot trek ahead of him or behind him. I must be at his side because just as he is learning and evolving, I am learning and evolving. I am metamorphosing into a better mother and person because of Pierce. We celebrate every milestone in our house – even the small ones. His autism is what makes him who he is - and it does not need to be defeated. I don’t know exactly what our future looks like but I do know that he has a mom that will never give up.The gift of learning patience, understanding, and strategy as a mother, care giver, and friend has been a journey of ebbs and flows, ups and downs, epic fails and super successes. The day my son closed the shower curtain because he noticed it was open and “it was left wrong” was a win. The day my son walked in to a room and introduced himself with a smile, was a win. These boys have my heart and soul and I’m so thankful to be on this journey with them.
My lights. I am the mom to 5 children who all fall on the Spectrum. They are strong, brave and absolutely amazing. We celebrate the small stuff here and we work hard to reach our potential! Want to know anything about Pokemon, dinosaurs, Thomas, magic or Paw Patrol and we've got you covered. Each one of these miracles show me everyday why it is important to understand and accept. Why be normal when you can stand out?!?! The good, the bad, and the hard over here and my heart is full.My daughter is 5 years old, she was diagnosed at 18 months old on a beautiful, sunny day in September...the 12th to be exact. I remember what I was doing, where I was, and what I was wearing the moment I truly felt heartbreak. But in that place where heartbreak once lived, now is the home to hope, joy, perseverance and more love than I thought possible. She made me a better person, a stronger woman, and an advocate for those without a voice.
My name is Candy, and my son Christopher is 13 yrs old and was diagnosed with severe Autism at the age of 2. It's both a challenge and a blessing have a child with autism. Although we may struggle sometimes with simple daily tasks Christopher often amazes me with his talents such as movie making, power point presentations and his overall attitude towards life! He is a very happy, loving, smart, handsome young man and I am truly blessed to be called his Mom. #IAmHisVoiceHeIsMyHeart❤️Aryan is my son - he has changed my life in the most wonderful ways. We have challenges, some days are not easy, but we have achievements, big ones - and they make the bad days easier. Aryan is a very fun person, he is always smiling and he has tons of energy. Aryan was diagnosed with ASD when he was 3 years old, and in spite of the challenges he faces, he is a vibrant little guy with the biggest heart. I am proud of Aryan, and I am so lucky to be his mom.
I am his mom and he is my heart. He was diagnosed at 18 months with ASD and a few months later with ADHD & ODD. We struggle and sometimes we don’t. I know no other life outside of autism. Autism is our normal, it’s everyone else that’s different. He’s happy, loving and flappy. I wouldn’t change a thing about him. He has big personality and always makes everyone smile. As far as milestones and achievements, we’ll get there one day at a time.My autistic son has taught me a new way to see the world, to love animals, to love people, to experience music and art, and how to be a stronger and better person. Sometimes I think my heart will explode with pride over all he has accomplished and learned. I am so blessed to be his mom.
I am the single mom to two boys on the Spectrum. One has Aspergers with OCD/Anxiety Disorder and one low functioning, non-verbal with Seizure Disorder. It has been a roller coaster of a life for all three of us, but we are thriving. We are the three muskateers and have helped each other grow, laugh and love. They are my angels. I am stressed, but blessed to have been given the gift of these children who bless others. I just hope they know how much they do. That's all that matters in this world.These are my 3 beautiful children - who all have been diagnosed on the Autism Spectrum As a mom - I was completely overwhelmed and felt hopeless and lost when I had 3 children under 5, who I was told all had Autism! As they have grown (and I have learned), I am so grateful for these beautiful spirits, what I have leaned from them and what they continually teach others about who they are and how to love unconditionally!
My daughter Arielle has changed everything about me. Being her mother has taught me what sacrificial love, total devotion and genuine patience looks like. She is the best of me and I feel blessed that the Lord would entrust her to our family. We have found the beauty in the moments and the strength to endure the difficulties. People with autism are beautiful. They are smarter than others give them credit for and have a depth of emotion most people don’t realize is there. Autism truly is a gift.When my son was diagnosed with Autism, it felt like the whole world stopped. But I quickly realized that the world didn’t stop, it began spinning more slowly, allowing me to stop and enjoy every little detail in nature. Allowing me to appreciate every moment. Allowing me to celebrate and appreciate the small things. I see things with his innocence. I see things for their true beauty. For the first time, my eyes were opened to every intricate detail. For the first time, I live in the present.
Being a mom to a person with Autism has forever changed the way I look at the world. My son, Jacob, has taught me patience, endless love, celebrate the small victories and know that each setback is just that a setback that will be overcome by his tenacious and challenge- accepted attitude! I have learned so much in the small amount of journey we have been on. I will be his voice when needed, his strength when falters and his advocate for a better life for him and others just like him.Thank you, Moms, from the bottom of our hearts for all that you do for your children, and the autism community as a whole. We are so grateful!
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Mother's Day
The Autism Speaks blog features opinions from people throughout the autism community. Each blog represents the point of view of the author and does not necessarily reflect Autism Speaks' beliefs or point of view.
Dear Moms: Carve out some time for you
Autism mom of two Kim McCafferty writes a letter to other autism moms about the importance of taking time for themselves. "I do this for them, because a happy mom is a more competent mom, and they need me to be that for them."
Dear Moms, Carve out some time for you
This is a post by Kimberlee Rutan McCafferty, mother to two sons on the autism spectrum and an Autism Family Partner at the Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia (CHOP). CHOP is an Autism Speaks Autism Treatment Network site. Kim is also the author of a blog about her two children with autism at autismmommytherapist.wordpress.com. Kim's book, "Raising Autism, Surviving the Early Years," can be found on Amazon.
Dear Moms,
Dear Moms, Carve out some time for you
This is a post by Kimberlee Rutan McCafferty, mother to two sons on the autism spectrum and an Autism Family Partner at the Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia (CHOP). CHOP is an Autism Speaks Autism Treatment Network site. Kim is also the author of a blog about her two children with autism at autismmommytherapist.wordpress.com. Kim's book, "Raising Autism, Surviving the Early Years," can be found on Amazon.
Dear Moms,
If you’re reading this in your voluminous amounts of spare time, perhaps your son has just been diagnosed at the tender age of two and you’re overwhelmed by where to go next. Maybe your teenaged daughter, whom everyone assured you was just shy, is now sporting the ASD label. Perhaps after years of therapy and (literally) your blood, sweat and tears you are realizing your little boy is destined for the more severe end of the spectrum, despite all your efforts. Maybe your son is aging out of his school entitlement, and your world is now consumed with SSI and guardianship and praying like hell that day program down the road will not only take him so you can work, but that your boy be willing to stay. Perhaps your child has just hit puberty- enough said.A lot of “maybes” here, but I’m certain of one thing- you are very, very tired.
Maybe you’re not going through a major milestone, but instead trying to figure out how to get him to eat, to sleep, to leave the house without screaming, to stop pinching you every time you need him to make a transition. Perhaps you’re trying to figure out how you can convince a sitter to stay with your five-year-old so you and your significant other can remember why you got married in the first place. Maybe on top of autism and OCD and anxiety your girl has just received another co-morbid diagnosis, and you’re trying and failing to summon up the strength to educate yourself once again on yet another disorder.
Perhaps you just want to scream every time someone tells you they don’t know how you do it, as if you had a choice.
Fifteen years ago this week my husband and I began our own “autism rollercoaster” when our beautiful son Justin was born, a much-wanted and longed for baby. I would start to have concerns about his development when he was just six months old (he hit his milestones but spun everything in sight), would have those concerns validated at seventeen months when he received his PDD diagnosis which would morph a few months later into a plain old ASD label. Five years later our eighteen-month-old son, who unlike his brother had developed typically until then, would regress before our eyes after two back-to-back illnesses, losing his speech, developing a rash all over his body, and most significantly losing the very spark that made him who he was. Over the last decade-and-a-half we have seen our boys labeled with autism, OCD, ADHD, and most recently for our eldest, catatonia. We have endured insomnia, refusals to eat, binge eating, anxiety, and aggression.
Here, it has not always been “good times.”
Having been in the trenches so to speak for the last decade-and-a-half I will share with you that at times I have been depressed because my boys suffered, have been angry at their suffering, and riddled with anxiety over whether I’d ever figure out how to help them be happy. For years at a time I put my own needs on the back burner, living from one potty training incident to the next, measuring my happiness based on how much each child had slept the night before. I had given up my much-loved career when our eldest was diagnosed, and subsequently the boys became “my job.” Quite honestly, their needs consumed me.
I lost myself.
It took me many years to realize that sometimes I needed to put my needs first.
Finally, one day I realized that with both boys our challenges came in cycles. Often we would have periods where things were calm, the boys were happy, and our home life resembled some sort of normalcy that I’d never thought we’d achieve. Of course, you’d think I’d be able to revel in those periods, “the space between” I’d come to call them.
Often, I didn’t. I’d be filled with dread waiting for the “other shoe.”
What I eventually realized was this. This autism gig was here to stay. These cycles would be my constant companions until my dying breath, which hopefully was many, many decades away. No matter how educated I was, how diligent I was, and how good a mother I was, I could not change this incontrovertible fact.
The only thing I could change was me.
It’s been about three or four years since I stopped “dealing in dread.” When one of my kids is suffering, I admit I am not good at compartmentalizing their suffering- I don’t think I ever will be. What I have learned to do is in those calm, quiet periods (and I can’t promise you, but I believe you will have them) is to grab onto life with a tenacious grasp, to take care of myself, to actually have fun. I make those doctor appointments I’ve been putting off for six months. I have lunch with a friend I haven’t seen in a year. I troll everyone I know to help me find a sitter competent enough to stay with my boys so my husband and I can get some relief.
As much as I can, whenever I can, I try to relegate anxiety over the boys’ collective happiness to a shelf somewhere in the remote recesses of my brain. I do this for them, because a happy mom is a more competent mom, and they need me to be that for them.
But I do this for me as well, because I deserve to have a life too.
So this Mother’s Day, and every single day that you possibly can, carve out some time that’s just for you, for your happiness. Perhaps it’s a night out with the girls. Maybe it’s fifteen minutes in the tub while your husband handles the kids.
Maybe it’s just a really good and well-deserved glass of wine in a quiet place. Chocolate helps too.
Try, as much as you can, to find happiness in the space between.
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Kim McCafferty
Mother's Day
The Autism Speaks blog features opinions from people throughout the autism community. Each blog represents the point of view of the author and does not necessarily reflect Autism Speaks' beliefs or point of view.
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Guides to support moms, grandmas, siblings and more
In an effort to provide encouragement and support to all people with autism in their lives, including moms and grandmas, Autism Speaks has created four support tool kits, designed specifically for the entire family.
Family Support Tool Kits
New! Autism Speaks relaunches series of Family Support Tool Kits, specifically designed to provide encouragement and support to parents, grandparents, siblings and friends of those recently diagnosed with autism.
Guides to support moms, grandmas, siblings and more
Family Support Tool Kits
New! Autism Speaks relaunches series of Family Support Tool Kits, specifically designed to provide encouragement and support to parents, grandparents, siblings and friends of those recently diagnosed with autism.
Family members and friends of children and adults with autism are presented with many joys and many challenges throughout their lives. Learning that a family member or friend is affected by autism is a powerful moment. People respond with a wide array of emotions: shock, grief, fear, denial, anger, acceptance, and many more. Many begin to feel their lives will never be the same. Parents can feel overwhelmed, siblings can feel isolated, grandparents can feel helpless, and friends can feel apprehensive.Autism Speaks has created 4 support tool kits, each designed specifically for the following groups:
Parents
Siblings
Grandparents
Friends
The purpose of each kit is to help teach family members and friends learn more about autism and its effects on families, and provide resources and support to enable them to lead happy and successful lives with their loved ones with autism.
A Parent's Guide to Autism
This tool kit is specifically designed for parents of children diagnosed with autism. This Tool Kit will help parents:
Learn about autism and how it may impact your family.
Find strategies and resources for raising a child with autism.
Find support so you don't feel alone or isolated.
Reduce the negative impact of the diagnosis on your family.
Promote a positive future for your child and family.
Click here to read A Parent's Guide to Autism.
A Sibling's Guide to AutismThis tool kit is for anyone who has a brother or sister diagnosed with autism. The guide will help siblings understand a little bit more about autism and learn what they can do to help their brother or sister, as well as take care of themselves. They will also read some great stories from autism siblings about their experiences with their brother or sister.
Click here to read A Sibling's Guide to Autism.
A Grandparent's Guide to Autism
This tool kit is designed specifically for grandparents of people who have been diagnosed with autism. This tool kit will help grandparents to:
Learn about autism and its impact on your family.Discover ways to support your children who may be struggling with their child's autism diagnosis.
Find out ways to develop the best relationship you can with your grandchildren.
Feel support and encouraged so you do not feel lonely or overwhelmed.
Click here to read A Grandparent's Guide to Autism.
Clic aquí para Autismo: Una Guía Para Abuelos.
A Friend's Guide to Autism
This tool kit is specifically designed for friends of families affected by autism. This tool kit will serve as a guide to help you learn:More about autism.
How your friend may be feeling if this is a new diagnosis.
How to support your friend.
How you and your family can interact with and support the person with autism.
Click here to read A Friend's Guide to Autism.
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Family Services
Family
grandparents
Parents
sibling
Tool Kit
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