Reconciling Ministries Network for Monday, 11 May 2015 "Exciting news about RMN's Trans Ministry, Staff Transitions, and pportunities to Make a Difference"Join the movement for trans inclusion in The United Methodist Church
(Re)Introducing the United Methodist Alliance for Transgender Inclusion
Chair, United Methodist Alliance for Transgender Inclusion
RMN’s Transgender Extension Ministry has a new name. After a great deal of spirited conversation, our leadership team agreed that the United Methodist Alliance for Transgender Inclusion (UMATI) did the best job of capturing the essence of our mission and ministry.
For starters, we wanted our name to reflect our religious grounding. We, too, are a people called Methodists who will not relinquish our baptisms, nor surrender our church to the forces of fear and oppression. Second, we thought our name should signal our commitment to collaborate with an ever-widening circle of individuals and organizations in the struggle for transgender justice. And lastly, we desired to communicate our hope that people of all gender identities and expressions will one day experience full inclusion in the life and leadership of The United Methodist Church, and in our society.
Although our name has changed, our work remains the same; it is organized around three interrelated ministries:
Nurture: Offer support, fellowship, and connections to transgender individuals and their families throughout The UMC.
Outreach: Provide tools, resources, and strategies to work toward the full inclusion of transgender people in the church and society.
Witness: Provide a public witness in support of transgender people in local congregations, at UMC Conferences, and in society.Exciting things are happening in all of these areas. A few highlights include:
A Facebook group was recently launched to help trans/genderqueer United Methodists–and our families and allies–to connect, share information, and support one another. Help grow our online community and join us!
UMATI will be very active during Gather at the River in San Antonio this August, sponsoring two workshops (Transgender Basics; Deepening Ministry with Gender Diverse Persons), and co-sponsoring a third (Queer Voices of Color) with United Methodists of Color for a Fully Inclusive Church. UMATI will also host a special 5-hour pre-conference event that will feature food, fellowship, learning, art, and more.
More trans/genderqueer writers are sharing their stories on the RMN Blog, creating visibility and bearing witness to the struggles of the transgender community.If you place yourself somewhere under the transgender umbrella, or are an ally who shares our belief that gender diversity should be celebrated rather than censured, then we invite you to be a part of the UMATI network. For more information about connecting with UMATI and supporting our ministry, please visit our page on the RMN Website, or send a message to transgender@rmnetwork.org.
Join in the celebration by making a donation supporting this important ministry
Read the latest on the RMN blog by members of UMATI
I soon came to find that the people were friendly and easy to get to know. I also found a way to get involved in this new church: music. I was happy to see that they had an orchestra program and even happier to sign up to take part in the annual cantata.
As the next few months passed, I eventually got added to the schedule to play piano for the service I was regularly attending. I was ecstatic to get a chance to play in front of the congregation. After a few Sundays where I played, the congregation started to love me.
I had found a church where I could be involved in activities which I enjoyed and was getting to know more and more people.
I was also going through a difficult period in my life. I was spending most of my time alone when I wasn’t at church activities or work. I spent much of my private life dealing with my feelings that I was meant to be a girl. I worked so hard to keep these feelings a secret. I was afraid of what would happen if people found out.
I turned to dating sites in hopes that finding love might help to get rid of my feelings. I was quickly roped in to a subscription site. I spent a lot of my time trying to craft the perfectly worded messages, only to have them ignored or met with outright rejection.
In the summer of 2012, I eventually reached a point where I was completely frustrated with my life. After a particularly difficult night, I decided it was time to come out. I started by telling a close friend whom I trusted. It felt good to get the feelings off my shoulder, but the process of coming out publicly still scared me.
I continued to go to my church uncertain of how my church family would take my eventual coming out.
I didn’t want to hide forever, but I also wanted to stay involved in the church which had become so meaningful to me. I spent a lot of time researching the stance of The United Methodist Church and fretting over how I would be treated based on what I was learning. I debated leaving right before I came out for a church which was openly affirming.
One particular Fall morning, the pastor’s sermon really spoke to me. The message made me feel comfortable with the idea of coming out to him. After the service, I set up a time for later in the weekto meet with him.
The words were hard for me to get out, but I did it. I was relieved when I found out that the pastor was an ally and would support me in coming out to the church. He reassured me that the people in the church loved me and would miss me if I left.
I still had some doubts about the process, but my pastor’s reaction made me feel a little bit more at ease.
A few months and private meetings with the pastor later, we started on a plan to let the congregation know about my transition. We started by letting my fellow musicians and worship director know. I was met with a lot of support from the others involved in the program.
The worship director was more concerned that I was thinking of leaving.
At this point, I was starting on hormone therapy and was working out plans to present as female full-time. My transition got off to a rocky start as I was fired from my job just a couple months in. My church family did a wonderful job of supporting me through this difficult time in the best way they could. I had a few people help me out with clothing for replacing my wardrobe. Others provided much needed emotional support as I was trying to get back on my feet.
With time, I was able to get to a place where I was better off than before the point where I started coming out. Everyone started to see a happier me as I was able to more openly be myself. I eventually was able to get into the the full-time job where I currenly work. I have also been more able to form meaningful relationships where I can be myself.
It has been more than two years since I’ve come out to my church and I’m still as welcome as I was when I first started attending. I continue to play piano as well as in the orchestra on Sunday mornings. Having a supportive church family has made the transition process a lot easier for me.
…
Did you know that RMN has a transgender extension ministry? We’re the United Methodist Alliance for Transgender Inclusion (UMATI). Learn more about us on RMN’s website, or join our Facebook group.
It was the day after Thanksgiving 2006. My entire extended family had gathered at my brother’s “cabin” on the banks of the South Fork of the Snake River for a traditional turkey dinner the day before. My mother and step-dad went home to Pocatello after dinner, but the rest of us stayed overnight, sleeping on couches or wherever else we could find a soft spot.
I started telling people I was going to transition over the Labor Day weekend. After much worry and discussion, I decided the best time to tell my family would be when everyone was together for Thanksgiving. However, I didn’t want to disrupt Thanksgiving dinner, so I told everyone that I had an announcement for the family that I wanted to make the next day.
My father died of cancer in 2000. A few years later my mom remarried to a man she had known since high school and whose wife had died a few years before. They reconnected at the Baptist Church I attended as a child. I had only met him briefly and was a little nervous about his reaction, because of his Christian background. It didn’t help any when the first question he asked of one of my cousins he hadn’t met before was “Have you been saved?”
I was already living mostly full time as Abby by then, so it was torture being there with everyone and pretending to be the guy they all had known for so many years. (I was 53.)
Plus, everyone was curious and asking about my announcement. I simply told them they would have to wait.
Fortunately, Thanksgiving dinner went well. I even managed to not be totally shutdown with worry about what would happen the next day.
The next morning, after breakfast and coffee, I gathered everyone together in the living room. There were 20 or so people there, some of whom I didn’t know very well. I sat on the hearth facing them with one of my daughters on each side of me. (I had told them and my ex a couple days before. All was well with them.)
I had written a long, and (I thought) heartfelt letter to read, so I could be sure that I said everything that I needed to say. I told them about how difficult and sad my life had been and how I had embarked on a spiritual journey to learn how to be happy, something that I had never learned.
It was that journey that led to me peeling off the layers of fear and shame that had protected and cut me off from the world. Underneath, I discovered Abby.
I cried as I read the letter. There wasn’t much emotion on the faces listening to my words. After I finished, everyone was quiet. My sister, an evangelical missionary who has helped found churches all over the world, told me she didn’t agree with what I was doing, but still loved me. She gave me a hug and we parted.
My older brother and I had never gotten along very well, but we saw each and our families from time to time over the years. Just before I left, I said goodbye to my brother. He shook my hand and said “Good Luck.” He hasn’t spoken to me since.
I planned to tell my mom alone, so we would both be more comfortable. I had two hours driving to Pocatello to ponder what was about to happen. After I arrived, my mom and my step-dad sat on the couch; I sat across from them. I started reading the same letter I read to the rest of my family, but I didn’t get very far before my mom interrupted and asked, “Do you have any pictures?” I had prepared for that question before I left Arizona, so I sat between them and began scrolling through the pictures on my laptop. Within five minutes, my mom was talking to me about shoes and hairstyles and electrolysis. I was so grateful there was no drama.
My family was never much for hugs, but that night, as we were going to bed, my mom gave me a hug and said, “You do whatever you need to do to be happy, and we’ll adjust.” And they have.
The next spring, my mom got to meet me as Abby for the first time. They had a summer place in northern Arizona, so I arranged to spend a weekend with them there. Shortly after I arrived, some neighbors from the local church my mom and step-dad attended stopped by. I, of course, was a little nervous about meeting strangers, but my mom didn’t miss a beat. She turned to them and said, “This is my daughter Abby.” I couldn’t have asked for more.
I became a member of the Unity Church in Prescott, Arizona in 1995. Before I attended as Abby for the first time, I warned the pastor and a few others, but I was still a little nervous. As it turned out, my first Sunday as Abby was Mother’s Day. When I walked in, the greeters handed me a yellow rose, as they did with all the other mothers. As I found a place among in the sanctuary, I remembered that the pastor would ask all the mothers to stand to be blessed by the congregation, just as he did with the fathers on Father’s Day. I debated whether it would be better for me to stand with the mothers or the fathers. It didn’t take long to decide that standing with the mothers on Mother’s Day was likely to cause less consternation.
So, when the time came, I proudly stood with the other mothers.
Five years later, I moved to Tucson to work for the Pima County Public Defender. I quickly found a church home at St. Francis in the Foothills United Methodist Church. The first Sunday I attended happened to be the church’s anniversary celebration. As the pastor recounted some of the church’s history, he told how St. Francis had become one of the first Reconciling Ministries 25 years before, and, then, he said the word “transgender,” a word I had never before heard uttered in church.
I was hooked and have been there ever since.
The next spring, I became a member of St. Francis, so I could become more involved. Again, without planning, the Sunday when I and the other new members were presented to the congregation was Mother’s Day…again! It felt like perfect symmetry to be there on the anniversary of my transition six years before.
This year, I went again to St. Francis on Mother’s Day and quietly celebrated my mother’s love and the love I gave myself by becoming myself.
…
Did you know that RMN has a transgender extension ministry? We’re the United Methodist Alliance for Transgender Inclusion (UMATI). Learn more about us on RMN’s website, or join our Facebook group.RMN Staff Transitions in the Communications Department
In mid-April, RMN wished Rev. Andy Oliver, Director of Communications, all the best as he begins a new journey. We give thanks for the dedication, talent, and creativity Andy brought to RMN over the last two years. His work in communications has made Reconciling Ministries Network a stronger organization and we will benefit from his gifts for years to come.
RMN now welcomes M Barclay, former Associate Director of Communications, to the position of Director of Communications! Over the last year, M's maturity of judgment, sound reasoning skills, intellectual capacity, spiritual vitality, and collegiality has been and will continue to be a great blessing to our organization and the movement. We are confident, given their skill set and their vision, they will continue the great work of RMN Communications and lead it into new and exciting directions. It brings us great joy to have M lead our Communications Department.
Contact M
Coalition launches website for General Conference 2016
With General Conference 2016 just a year away, the Love Your Neighbor Coalition would like to announce the launch of a new website which contains a joint statement, “A Vision for The United Methodist Church,” designed to guide our denomination as we begin to prepare for General Conference in 2016. As proud coalition members, we hope you will read and consider signing on!
Read the statement
Reconciling Ministries Network is partnering with Our Tomorrow - a place for LGBTQ people across the country to share hopes, fears and ideas for the future—and help make tomorrow better for all of us. We hope you'll read what LGBTQ people across the country are sharing about their hopes and fears and consider adding your own.
Share your voice. Shape our future.
List of workshops now available for #GatherUMC
Have you seen the incredible line-up of workshops being offered at Gather at the River? Check out the list of opportunities for all to grow, be refreshed, and expand our understanding of God's welcome. We hope you will plan to join us!
View the list of workshops
___________________________
I started telling people I was going to transition over the Labor Day weekend. After much worry and discussion, I decided the best time to tell my family would be when everyone was together for Thanksgiving. However, I didn’t want to disrupt Thanksgiving dinner, so I told everyone that I had an announcement for the family that I wanted to make the next day.
My father died of cancer in 2000. A few years later my mom remarried to a man she had known since high school and whose wife had died a few years before. They reconnected at the Baptist Church I attended as a child. I had only met him briefly and was a little nervous about his reaction, because of his Christian background. It didn’t help any when the first question he asked of one of my cousins he hadn’t met before was “Have you been saved?”
I was already living mostly full time as Abby by then, so it was torture being there with everyone and pretending to be the guy they all had known for so many years. (I was 53.)
Plus, everyone was curious and asking about my announcement. I simply told them they would have to wait.
Fortunately, Thanksgiving dinner went well. I even managed to not be totally shutdown with worry about what would happen the next day.
The next morning, after breakfast and coffee, I gathered everyone together in the living room. There were 20 or so people there, some of whom I didn’t know very well. I sat on the hearth facing them with one of my daughters on each side of me. (I had told them and my ex a couple days before. All was well with them.)
I had written a long, and (I thought) heartfelt letter to read, so I could be sure that I said everything that I needed to say. I told them about how difficult and sad my life had been and how I had embarked on a spiritual journey to learn how to be happy, something that I had never learned.
It was that journey that led to me peeling off the layers of fear and shame that had protected and cut me off from the world. Underneath, I discovered Abby.
I cried as I read the letter. There wasn’t much emotion on the faces listening to my words. After I finished, everyone was quiet. My sister, an evangelical missionary who has helped found churches all over the world, told me she didn’t agree with what I was doing, but still loved me. She gave me a hug and we parted.
My older brother and I had never gotten along very well, but we saw each and our families from time to time over the years. Just before I left, I said goodbye to my brother. He shook my hand and said “Good Luck.” He hasn’t spoken to me since.
I planned to tell my mom alone, so we would both be more comfortable. I had two hours driving to Pocatello to ponder what was about to happen. After I arrived, my mom and my step-dad sat on the couch; I sat across from them. I started reading the same letter I read to the rest of my family, but I didn’t get very far before my mom interrupted and asked, “Do you have any pictures?” I had prepared for that question before I left Arizona, so I sat between them and began scrolling through the pictures on my laptop. Within five minutes, my mom was talking to me about shoes and hairstyles and electrolysis. I was so grateful there was no drama.
My family was never much for hugs, but that night, as we were going to bed, my mom gave me a hug and said, “You do whatever you need to do to be happy, and we’ll adjust.” And they have.
The next spring, my mom got to meet me as Abby for the first time. They had a summer place in northern Arizona, so I arranged to spend a weekend with them there. Shortly after I arrived, some neighbors from the local church my mom and step-dad attended stopped by. I, of course, was a little nervous about meeting strangers, but my mom didn’t miss a beat. She turned to them and said, “This is my daughter Abby.” I couldn’t have asked for more.
I became a member of the Unity Church in Prescott, Arizona in 1995. Before I attended as Abby for the first time, I warned the pastor and a few others, but I was still a little nervous. As it turned out, my first Sunday as Abby was Mother’s Day. When I walked in, the greeters handed me a yellow rose, as they did with all the other mothers. As I found a place among in the sanctuary, I remembered that the pastor would ask all the mothers to stand to be blessed by the congregation, just as he did with the fathers on Father’s Day. I debated whether it would be better for me to stand with the mothers or the fathers. It didn’t take long to decide that standing with the mothers on Mother’s Day was likely to cause less consternation.
So, when the time came, I proudly stood with the other mothers.
Five years later, I moved to Tucson to work for the Pima County Public Defender. I quickly found a church home at St. Francis in the Foothills United Methodist Church. The first Sunday I attended happened to be the church’s anniversary celebration. As the pastor recounted some of the church’s history, he told how St. Francis had become one of the first Reconciling Ministries 25 years before, and, then, he said the word “transgender,” a word I had never before heard uttered in church.
I was hooked and have been there ever since.
The next spring, I became a member of St. Francis, so I could become more involved. Again, without planning, the Sunday when I and the other new members were presented to the congregation was Mother’s Day…again! It felt like perfect symmetry to be there on the anniversary of my transition six years before.
This year, I went again to St. Francis on Mother’s Day and quietly celebrated my mother’s love and the love I gave myself by becoming myself.
…
Did you know that RMN has a transgender extension ministry? We’re the United Methodist Alliance for Transgender Inclusion (UMATI). Learn more about us on RMN’s website, or join our Facebook group.RMN Staff Transitions in the Communications Department
In mid-April, RMN wished Rev. Andy Oliver, Director of Communications, all the best as he begins a new journey. We give thanks for the dedication, talent, and creativity Andy brought to RMN over the last two years. His work in communications has made Reconciling Ministries Network a stronger organization and we will benefit from his gifts for years to come.
Contact M
Coalition launches website for General Conference 2016
Read the statement
A Vision for The United Methodist Church
(From the Love Your Neighbor Coalition)
(From the Love Your Neighbor Coalition)
(click on links to explore the deeper meanings of each of our beliefs)
WE ARE United Methodists committed to the embodiment of God's love and justice within and through the people and mission of The United Methodist Church. The core of our faith is found in Jesus’ response to the question “Teacher, which commandment in the law is the greatest?” – we are to “love God with all our heart, soul (being) and mind” and to “love neighbor as self”(Matthew 22:36-40). These hold ancient law, the prophets and the Gospel message together with our contemporary Book of Discipline and Book of Resolutions. To this end, OUR MISSION is to assure The United Methodist Church is fully open to the presence, love and grace of God offered to all the world.
Just as we are all interconnected and interdependent in the complexity of our relationships with God, humanity and all of creation, we recognize, acknowledge and celebrate the ways all of the following concerns and hopes for our church are connected, interdependent and intersectional:
WE BELIEVE in a church that practices the Wesleyan way of holiness.
Therefore WE CALL OUR CHURCH to remember John Wesley’s call to personal and social holiness and to
embrace connectionalism in ways that lead to transformation of the Church and world.
embrace connectionalism in ways that lead to transformation of the Church and world.
WE BELIEVE in a church that is inclusive and open to all people; and the Holy Spirit demands the full inclusion of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, and Queer people in the life and ministry of The United Methodist Church.
Therefore WE CALL OUR CHURCH to remove all discriminatory language in the Book of Discipline that is doing
harm to faithful lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer persons.
harm to faithful lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer persons.
WE BELIEVE in a church that passionately works for racial justice.
Therefore WE CALL OUR CHURCH to work for racial justice and resist exploitive systems that teach racial, ethnic,
and/or tribal superiority and inferiority.
and/or tribal superiority and inferiority.
WE BELIEVE in a church that yearns to be global and connectional in nature.
Therefore WE CALL OUR CHURCH to repent from our history of colonialism and racism, and adopt a
denominational structure reflecting this repentance, while celebrating the giftedness that indigenous peoples
share in the life of church and society, when welcomed as equal partners.
denominational structure reflecting this repentance, while celebrating the giftedness that indigenous peoples
share in the life of church and society, when welcomed as equal partners.
WE BELIEVE in a church that pursues peacemaking over war and stewardship over ecological degradation.
Therefore WE CALL OUR CHURCH to divest from activities that support war, occupation, and the destruction
of God’s creation.
of God’s creation.
WE BELIEVE in a church that opens its buildings and systems to people with disabilities, welcomes those with physical, mental, and psychological challenges, and works to incorporate every person as they are, with their gifts and challenges.
Therefore WE CALL OUR CHURCH to develop and implement a plan for accessibility at all levels of the Church,
including a unified approach from the Boards ofOrdained Ministry when it comes to questioning candidates with
disabilities, along with a comprehensive plan to ensure equal access and fairness when dealing with a long-term
disability, or emerging physical or mental challenge.
including a unified approach from the Boards of
disabilities, along with a comprehensive plan to ensure equal access and fairness when dealing with a long-term
disability, or emerging physical or mental challenge.
WE BELIEVE in a church that embraces the fullness of life and dignity in death.
Therefore WE CALL OUR CHURCH to support policies leading to comprehensive, age-appropriate, medically-
accurate and culturally-competent sexuality and parenting education; universalaccess to contraception and
compassionate abortion care; healthy and safe environments for children; expanded access to adoption and
alternative methods of pregnancy; and systems of justice that support protections for care of the elderly and
that abolish the taking of life as a punitive measure for crimes.
accurate and culturally-competent sexuality and parenting education; universal
compassionate abortion care; healthy and safe environments for children; expanded access to adoption and
alternative methods of pregnancy; and systems of justice that support protections for care of the elderly and
that abolish the taking of life as a punitive measure for crimes.
WE BELIEVE in a church that ensures the peaceful pursuit of self-determination and religious expression.
Therefore WE CALL OUR CHURCH to reject attempts at merging religious beliefs with nationalism or subjugating
one belief system or cultural group to another, but instead, with respect and integrity, to share with persons of
other faiths the truth that has come to us through Jesus Christ, as we listen for the truths we can learn from
others.
one belief system or cultural group to another, but instead, with respect and integrity, to share with persons of
other faiths the truth that has come to us through Jesus Christ, as we listen for the truths we can learn from
others.
WE BELIEVE in a church that strives for economic justice.
Therefore WE CALL OUR CHURCH to advocate economic policies that reflect love of neighbor by ensuring such
basic needs as food, clothing, shelter,quality education , health care , a clean environment and a living wage in a
workplace open to collective bargaining and free from violence and coercion.
basic needs as food, clothing, shelter,
workplace open to collective bargaining and free from violence and coercion.
WE BELIEVE in a church that welcomes and seeks justice for the stranger.
Therefore WE CALL OUR CHURCH to stand against injustices of poverty, war, and violence which often create
refugee and migrant communities and to advocate for just and compassionate immigration policies in those
places where refugees and immigrants have sought to make their homes.
refugee and migrant communities and to advocate for just and compassionate immigration policies in those
places where refugees and immigrants have sought to make their homes.
Because of these, OUR BELIEFS, WE CALL ON OURSELVES AND OUR CHURCH to advocate for faithful, systemic and intersectional solutions to our human struggles, so that we might fully welcome the stranger and thereby love God, others and self, as Jesus asks of us; living lives that are shaped according to the good news of Jesus Christ and as faithful disciples and stewards of all of our relationships with God and God’s creation.
What does the future of the LGBTQ movement look like?Share your voice. Shape our future.
List of workshops now available for #GatherUMC
View the list of workshops
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