From now through June 17, come back each weekday for new questions about people, events, places and numbers that relate to the formation of our denomination. It’s a great tool to help explain who we are and what we believe—and it’s fun too!Photo by Mike DuBose. Illustration by Cindy Caldwell, United Methodist Communications.
United Methodist Church History Quiz
The United Methodist Church has existed in various forms for more than 200 years. Test your knowledge of its history with these questions.
Come back each weekday until June 17 (John Wesley's birthday!) for a new question. Also, pass on this quiz to others to encourage them to test their knowledge as well.
This quiz is a partnership between United Methodist Communications and the General Commission on Archives and History.
Name two of Francis Asbury’s horses.
What was the Central Jurisdiction?
What was the name of the first building designed for the Methodist movement?
When did the first Methodist church start in Russia?
When was the first female bishop elected on the continent of Africa?
At what public university did the first Wesley Foundation appear in 1913?
Who of the following was a Methodist, a temperance leader and a suffragist?
What has the Imagine No Malaria campaign accomplished?
What is/was the Holy Club?
Where is Francis Asbury buried?
What do we call May 24, when John Wesley's heart was 'strangely warmed'?
Approximately how many hymns and poems did Charles Wesley write?
The “Christmas Conference” took place in what city?
What new holiday was recognized at General Conference 1912?
What is the birthplace of John Wesley?
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Methodist Roots of Father’s Day
Read more about the roots of the holiday and stay tuned for a new video which visits the site of a United Methodist church in West Va. which preserves the history and the spirit of the celebration. Or share this video about "what dads really want" and use it to start a conversation with your congregation.Photo courtesy the Dodd family
Sonora Smart Dodd (second from right) visits with Boy Scouts and a Civil War veteran in Spokane, Wash., in this undated photograph. Dodd played a pivotal role in the creation of a national Father's Day celebration. Photo courtesy the Dodd family.
Father’s Day has Methodist ties by Joey Butler*
Editor's Note: This story was originally published in 2010, the year often referenced as the centennial of the first celebration of Father's Day. Information regarding the centennial has been updated to reflect this.
To all you dads out there: While you're relaxing in your recliner and watching sports on June 21, and your kids are on their best behavior to honor Father's Day, don't forget to thank a United Methodist.
That's right. Not one, but two United Methodist churches with the same name, oddly enough can lay claim to originating the celebration of all things paternal.
In 1909 in Spokane, Wash., Sonora Smart Dodd listened to a Mother's Day sermon at Central Methodist Episcopal Church. Dodd's own mother had died 11 years earlier, and her father had raised their six children alone. Dodd felt moved to honor her father, and fathers everywhere, with a special day as well.
She proposed her idea to local religious leaders, and gained wide acceptance. June 19, 1910, was designated as the first Father's Day, and sermons honoring fathers were presented throughout the city.
When newspapers across the country carried the story about Spokane's observance, the popularity of Father's Day spread. Several presidents declared it a holiday, and in 1972, Richard Nixon established it as the third Sunday in June.
Dodd's pivotal role in the creation of a national Father's Day celebration was recognized in 1943 with a luncheon in her honor in New York City. Central Methodist Episcopal is now known as Central United Methodist, and holds a Father's Day service every year.
On July 5, 1908, a Father's Day sermon was preached at Williams Memorial Methodist Episcopal Church, South, now Central United Methodist Church, Fairmont, W.Va.
Photo courtesy of the Rev. D.D. Meighen.
There's more to the story
If you thought you celebrated the centennial of Father's Day in 2010, you were actually two years too late.
You see, the year Spokane was observing its first Father's Day, almost 2,000 miles away in Fairmont, W.Va., another Methodist church was on its third.
On July 5, 1908, a Father's Day sermon was preached at Williams Memorial Methodist Episcopal Church, South, thanks to the efforts of Grace Golden Clayton.
In December 1907, a terrible mine explosion in nearby Monongah claimed the lives of more than 360 men. Most of them had families, and the tragedy left 1,000 children fatherless.
Clayton was distraught by the thought of all those children growing up without a father's guidance, and wanted to do something to honor the importance of fatherhood. She asked her pastor to set aside a special day to commemorate fathers. She chose the Sunday closest to the birthday of her late father, also a Methodist preacher.
However, unlike the Spokane service, the Fairmont event drew little attention outside the area.
Fairmont historians concede that Sonora Dodd deserves credit for bringing the holiday to national prominence, but want it known that they did beat her to the idea.
"We don't claim popularizing the day, but we have proof we were the first to have a church service," said the Rev. D.D. Meighen, retired pastor of the Fairmont church, which is now also known as Central United Methodist. Seriously, what are the odds of that?
Meighen said two news-making events happened on July 4, 1908, that stole the thunder from their Father's Day service.
Sonora Smart Dodd is known as the mother of Father's Day. Photo courtesy of the Spokane Regional Convention and Visitors Bureau.
On that Saturday, Fairmont held its largest 4th of July celebration to date. A large crowd watched a "dare-devil" roll atop a ball to the top of the bank building on a spiral stairway. It made all the news. People talked about it for days.
Then, tragically, a beloved young woman in the church died of typhoid fever. Church members were shocked when they arrived at the Sunday service to hear of her death. Her funeral, which included 17 carriages lined up in front of the church, also made the headlines.
Coincidentally, the first Mother's Day was observed on May 10, 1908, at Andrews Methodist Church in Grafton, W.Va.
West Virginia Methodists clearly love their parents more than the rest of us.
So enjoy firing up that grill and napping in the hammock, dads everywhere. You've earned it, and the United Methodists have your back.
And when your kids give you yet another gruesomely ugly tie as a gift... well, we're pretty sure the Lutherans are behind that.
*Butler is a media producer and editor for United Methodist Communications, Nashville, Tenn. He'll celebrate Father's Day this year as he usually does: calling his dad and talking about the U.S Opengolf tournament.
News media contact: Joey Butler, Nashville, Tenn., (615) 742-5105 or newsdesk@umcom.org.
Originally published June 18, 2010.
Resources
Father's Day Resources
Central United Methodist Church, FairmontREAD MORE
A Blessing for Graduates
For those who just finished school and are looking to life after graduation, we offer a beautiful blessing. This video is ideal for a private time of prayer or to share with others sending wishes to those setting off on new adventures.<iframe width="690" height="388" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/8eLfZTOCl6w" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
View on YouTube | Download video | Terms of Use
Go with God: A Prayer for Graduates
Graduation marks a major milestone in life, a time when we celebrate accomplishments and transition to another phase. This video combines images of graduates with the words of a benediction written by the Rev. Jay Moyers. We encourage you to share the link with individuals or as part of worship or small group time as you offer prayers for those who are completing their schoolwork and dreaming of the future.
View in Spanish or Portuguese.
View more at umc.org/videos
As your classes and grading are now complete, may you strive toward excellence in all you do.
As the speeches conclude, may your voices rise up to pronounce justice and peace in the world.
As the fanfares cease, may you sing of joy, even in the dark and lonely places.
As the applause quiets, may you celebrate and lift up those around you.
As you graduate, may your achievements grow and cause growth in your communities.
And may we all know of the overwhelming blessings of the One who created all things.
This prayer was part of a series of resources for graduation time, provided by United Methodist Discipleship Ministries.
Learn more about United Methodist schools and support for students.
This video was produced by United Methodist Communications in Nashville, TN.
Media contact is Fran Walsh, 615-742-5458.
This video was first posted in May, 2015.
WATCH NOW
The Holy Spirit in the Wesleyan Tradition
You can learn a lot about United Methodist theology and tradition at UMC.org. This month we share Wesleyan perspective about the Holy Spirit. Sometimes it's hard to understand the third person in the Trinity but our article can help.
Video offers introduction to the meaning of the gifts of the Spirit.Share:
Methodist Roots of Father’s Day
Read more about the roots of the holiday and stay tuned for a new video which visits the site of a United Methodist church in West Va. which preserves the history and the spirit of the celebration. Or share this video about "what dads really want" and use it to start a conversation with your congregation.Photo courtesy the Dodd family
Sonora Smart Dodd (second from right) visits with Boy Scouts and a Civil War veteran in Spokane, Wash., in this undated photograph. Dodd played a pivotal role in the creation of a national Father's Day celebration. Photo courtesy the Dodd family.
Father’s Day has Methodist ties by Joey Butler*
Editor's Note: This story was originally published in 2010, the year often referenced as the centennial of the first celebration of Father's Day. Information regarding the centennial has been updated to reflect this.
To all you dads out there: While you're relaxing in your recliner and watching sports on June 21, and your kids are on their best behavior to honor Father's Day, don't forget to thank a United Methodist.
That's right. Not one, but two United Methodist churches with the same name, oddly enough can lay claim to originating the celebration of all things paternal.
In 1909 in Spokane, Wash., Sonora Smart Dodd listened to a Mother's Day sermon at Central Methodist Episcopal Church. Dodd's own mother had died 11 years earlier, and her father had raised their six children alone. Dodd felt moved to honor her father, and fathers everywhere, with a special day as well.
She proposed her idea to local religious leaders, and gained wide acceptance. June 19, 1910, was designated as the first Father's Day, and sermons honoring fathers were presented throughout the city.
When newspapers across the country carried the story about Spokane's observance, the popularity of Father's Day spread. Several presidents declared it a holiday, and in 1972, Richard Nixon established it as the third Sunday in June.
Dodd's pivotal role in the creation of a national Father's Day celebration was recognized in 1943 with a luncheon in her honor in New York City. Central Methodist Episcopal is now known as Central United Methodist, and holds a Father's Day service every year.
On July 5, 1908, a Father's Day sermon was preached at Williams Memorial Methodist Episcopal Church, South, now Central United Methodist Church, Fairmont, W.Va.
Photo courtesy of the Rev. D.D. Meighen.
There's more to the story
If you thought you celebrated the centennial of Father's Day in 2010, you were actually two years too late.
You see, the year Spokane was observing its first Father's Day, almost 2,000 miles away in Fairmont, W.Va., another Methodist church was on its third.
On July 5, 1908, a Father's Day sermon was preached at Williams Memorial Methodist Episcopal Church, South, thanks to the efforts of Grace Golden Clayton.
In December 1907, a terrible mine explosion in nearby Monongah claimed the lives of more than 360 men. Most of them had families, and the tragedy left 1,000 children fatherless.
Clayton was distraught by the thought of all those children growing up without a father's guidance, and wanted to do something to honor the importance of fatherhood. She asked her pastor to set aside a special day to commemorate fathers. She chose the Sunday closest to the birthday of her late father, also a Methodist preacher.
However, unlike the Spokane service, the Fairmont event drew little attention outside the area.
Fairmont historians concede that Sonora Dodd deserves credit for bringing the holiday to national prominence, but want it known that they did beat her to the idea.
"We don't claim popularizing the day, but we have proof we were the first to have a church service," said the Rev. D.D. Meighen, retired pastor of the Fairmont church, which is now also known as Central United Methodist. Seriously, what are the odds of that?
Meighen said two news-making events happened on July 4, 1908, that stole the thunder from their Father's Day service.
Sonora Smart Dodd is known as the mother of Father's Day. Photo courtesy of the Spokane Regional Convention and Visitors Bureau.
On that Saturday, Fairmont held its largest 4th of July celebration to date. A large crowd watched a "dare-devil" roll atop a ball to the top of the bank building on a spiral stairway. It made all the news. People talked about it for days.
Then, tragically, a beloved young woman in the church died of typhoid fever. Church members were shocked when they arrived at the Sunday service to hear of her death. Her funeral, which included 17 carriages lined up in front of the church, also made the headlines.
Coincidentally, the first Mother's Day was observed on May 10, 1908, at Andrews Methodist Church in Grafton, W.Va.
West Virginia Methodists clearly love their parents more than the rest of us.
So enjoy firing up that grill and napping in the hammock, dads everywhere. You've earned it, and the United Methodists have your back.
And when your kids give you yet another gruesomely ugly tie as a gift... well, we're pretty sure the Lutherans are behind that.
*Butler is a media producer and editor for United Methodist Communications, Nashville, Tenn. He'll celebrate Father's Day this year as he usually does: calling his dad and talking about the U.S Opengolf tournament.
News media contact: Joey Butler, Nashville, Tenn., (615) 742-5105 or newsdesk@umcom.org.
Originally published June 18, 2010.
Resources
Father's Day Resources
Central United Methodist Church, FairmontREAD MORE
A Blessing for Graduates
For those who just finished school and are looking to life after graduation, we offer a beautiful blessing. This video is ideal for a private time of prayer or to share with others sending wishes to those setting off on new adventures.<iframe width="690" height="388" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/8eLfZTOCl6w" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
View on YouTube | Download video | Terms of Use
Go with God: A Prayer for Graduates
Graduation marks a major milestone in life, a time when we celebrate accomplishments and transition to another phase. This video combines images of graduates with the words of a benediction written by the Rev. Jay Moyers. We encourage you to share the link with individuals or as part of worship or small group time as you offer prayers for those who are completing their schoolwork and dreaming of the future.
View in Spanish or Portuguese.
View more at umc.org/videos
As your classes and grading are now complete, may you strive toward excellence in all you do.
As the speeches conclude, may your voices rise up to pronounce justice and peace in the world.
As the fanfares cease, may you sing of joy, even in the dark and lonely places.
As the applause quiets, may you celebrate and lift up those around you.
As you graduate, may your achievements grow and cause growth in your communities.
And may we all know of the overwhelming blessings of the One who created all things.
This prayer was part of a series of resources for graduation time, provided by United Methodist Discipleship Ministries.
Learn more about United Methodist schools and support for students.
This video was produced by United Methodist Communications in Nashville, TN.
Media contact is Fran Walsh, 615-742-5458.
This video was first posted in May, 2015.
WATCH NOW
The Holy Spirit in the Wesleyan Tradition
You can learn a lot about United Methodist theology and tradition at UMC.org. This month we share Wesleyan perspective about the Holy Spirit. Sometimes it's hard to understand the third person in the Trinity but our article can help.
Come, Holy Ghost: A Wesleyan perspective on the Spirit
A UMC.org Feature by Joe Iovino*
While most United Methodists can articulate what they believe about Jesus and are reasonably comfortable talking about God, our confidence might waver when talking about the Holy Spirit.
Maybe that is because we can relate to Jesus as a human being and understand God through personified imagery like “Heavenly Father.”
Pentecost, depicted in this icon, is the day the Church celebrates the gift of the Holy Spirit. Photo by МЕЛЕТИЙ ВЕЛЧЕВ, courtesy Wikimedia Commons.
The symbols we use to talk about the Holy Spirit, on the other hand, are far less human. At Pentecost we read about the Spirit as fire and wind.In Baptism, we recognize the work of the Spirit through water and a dove. Not to mention the confusion caused by referring to the Spirit as the Holy Ghost.
Additionally, cultural understandings talk of specific work attributed to the Spirit like ecstatic utterances and other highly emotive responses. While we do not discount those experiences, many of us have not had them and wonder about the Holy Spirit’s role in our lives.
An old sermon may be able to help.
John Gambold, an original member of John and Charles Wesley's Holy Club at Oxford (from which would grow the Methodist movement), wrote the unimaginatively titled sermon “On the Holy Spirit.” The sermon, which appears in the 1872 edition of The Sermons of John Wesley, was found in John Wesley's papers after his death and closely matches his own understanding of the Holy Spirit.
The sermon seeks to address not the “particularly extraordinary gifts” of the Spirit, but “what the Holy Spirit is to every believer.”
Hymn writer Charles Wesley, brother of John, wrote a song known to many United Methodist congregations even today. “Come, Holy Ghost, Our Hearts Inspire” (The United Methodist Hymnal 603) shares many of the same themes that help us better understand the gift of the Holy Spirit.
Harbinger of Day of Resurrection
Gambold writes of the Holy Spirit as the fullness of God at work in our broken world.
The “sin of Adam,” as the events of Genesis 3 are described in the sermon, distanced human beings from the image of God we were created to be. Addressing Adam's desire to cover up after sinning, the sermon states, “Well might Adam now find himself naked; nothing less than God was departed from him.”
In Jesus, God has bridged this separation by overcoming sin. “[W]hat we lost in Adam,” the sermon reads, “we might receive in Christ Jesus.”
While that process of reconciliation begins when we put our trust in Jesus, it will not be complete until the Day of Resurrection to come. The Holy Spirit is a harbinger of our future with us in the present.
SPIRITUAL GIFTS
Every child of God is filled with the power of the Holy Spirit, specially gifted to play a unique and valued role in the body of Christ.
Learn more about the spiritual gifts described in the New Testament.
Take an online assessment to help you discover and cultivate your gifts.
Fountain of love
From the earliest days of the Methodist movement, John Wesley sought to help Christians live faith in the midst of ordinary lives of family, friends, work, bills, and more. He encouraged the Methodists to participate in what he called the “means of grace,” which included acts of piety like worship and prayer, along with acts of service like feeding the hungry and giving to the poor.
These acts are gifts strengthening us to live into the two-fold nature of discipleship: loving God and our neighbors.
In his hymn, Charles invites the Holy Ghost to strengthen us to live our faith daily.
Come, Holy Ghost, our hearts inspire, let us thine influence prove;
source of the old prophetic fire, fountain of life and love.
Revealer of truth
John Wesley often called himself a “man of one book.” That book, of course, was the Bible.
Wesley was an ardent student of the Scriptures. He knew that the same Spirit that inspired the authors would also move in the hearts of readers centuries later, revealing God’s truth to us. The sermon states that the Holy Spirit is “a light to discern the fallacies of flesh and blood, [and] to reject the irreligious maxims of the world.”
In the second verse of “Come, Holy Ghost, Our Hearts Inspire,” Charles prayerfully asks the Holy Ghost to come to reveal God’s word to us.
Come, Holy Ghost (for moved by thee the prophets wrote and spoke),
unlock the truth, thyself the key, unseal the sacred book.
Bearer of New Creation
Having the Holy Spirit among us, a sign of that future day of restoration, also gives us the ability to live as people of that future now. Through the Spirit we see the world not only as it is, but as it will be, and are invited to participate in the work of reconciliation.
In Gambold's sermon we read that the Holy Spirit “is some portion of, as well as preparation for, a life in God, which we are to enjoy hereafter. The gift of the Holy Spirit looks full to the resurrection; for then is the life of God completed in us.”
When we sing verse 3 of Charles’ hymn, we pray for that day to come. Using an allusion to the presence of God’s Spirit moving over the face of the deep before the first day of Creation (see Genesis 1:2), we long for the new creation.
Expand thy wings, celestial Dove, brood o'er our nature's night;
on our disordered spirits move, and let there now be light.
Assurance of salvation
If you have ever wondered if you are really saved, you are not alone. Many Christians, including John Wesley, have gone through seasons of similar struggles. This sermon points to evidence in the gifts we see in our lives.
In "On the Holy Spirit" we read, “[W]here that divine Guest enters, the laws of another world must be observed.” A shift the Spirit brings to our priorities is then described. Where we once were primarily concerned about ourselves, the Spirit enables us to focus on our love of God and others.
In verse four of “Come, Holy Ghost, Our Hearts Inspire,” Charles Wesley writes how love flowing through us is evidence of the Spirit living in us.
God, through the Spirit we shall know if thou within us shine,
and sound, with all thy saints below, the depths of love divine.
It may be difficult for some of us to articulate a relationship with one described as fire, water, wind, or a dove. What we need to know is that the Spirit is the presence of the Holy in and around us each day, enabling us to live into the people God created us to be and will be restored to one day.
The Spirit is the presence of the Holy ... enabling us to live as the people God created us to be. #UMC #Pentecost
TWEET THISLearn more about the spiritual gifts described in the New Testament, and take an online assessment to help you discover and cultivate your gifts.
*Joe Iovino works for UMC.org at United Methodist Communications. Contact him at jiovino@umcom.org or 615-312-3733.
Memorials for Loved Ones
It’s hard to know what to do when someone you love dies. This feature about unique memorials might inspire you and help you advise others who are dealing with loss.Photo courtesy of First United Methodist Church in Muncy, Pennsylvania
Some churches offer wonderful ways of memorializing loved ones, like this fountain and memorial wall at First United Methodist Church in Muncy, Pennsylvania.
Honoring lost loved ones with unique memorials
A UMC.org Feature by Susan Passi-Klaus*
When memorializing the dearly departed, United Methodist churches are finding, and members are expecting to find, middle ground between dirges and disrespect; something less cliché than a canned service and releasing balloons. As one former funeral director and longtime member of a grief-conscious United Methodist church said, “meaning matters.”
When memorializing someone "meaning matters." Learn how others are honoring lost loved ones. #UMCTWEET THIS
It keeps his name alive
Susan Finnegan admits her son Nick would get a kick out of knowing he has a counseling center named after him—The Nick Finnegan Counseling Center, Houston, TX. The mom says her 18-year-old son, who died in a car accident in 2014, would probably say, “Why name a counseling center after me? I didn’t need counseling!”
Susan and Bill Finnegan found a wonderful way to memorialize their son Nick. They raised money to start a new ministry for families who are grieving. Photo courtesy of Bill and Susan Finnegan.
Soon after Nick’s sudden death, when it was “appropriate,” people began talking about memorializing him. Susan and her husband Bill knew they needed time to think of something that would honor their “amazing” son—a perfect student, star athlete, along with being naughty and cute.
“I wanted to do something amazing, as amazing as Nick—something that would do him justice,” she says. “But nothing felt right.”
Then St. Luke’s pastor the Rev. Tom Pace asked Susan to help raise funds for the young and growing St. Luke’s Counseling Center. Fundraising wasn’t her gift, but she went to the first meeting and the next and the next. And she listened.
“I knew I was being called by God,” Susan says. “All I did was say ‘yes.’”
“I kept thinking, wouldn’t it be great if I could get Nick’s name involved with this?” she recalls. “It didn’t happen overnight, but it happened in such a beautiful way.”
What started out as the Nick Finnegan Ministry evolved into the Nick Finnegan Counseling Center—a place where people experiencing tragic loss could be helped.
“It helps us to know that people don’t forget Nick. They continue to honor him with their service. It keeps Nick’s name and his gifts alive. That was very important to us. I don’t have any doubt it was the hand of God. Thank you God!”
The voice of experience
Retired funeral director Dave Wallis has guided families through their earthly goodbyes for more than 40 years, and now serves on the Memorial Garden Committee at his church of 50 years, First United Methodist Church of Muncy, Pennsylvania. When considering memorializing a loved one, Dave has three main pieces of advice:
Dave Wallis serves on the Memorial Garden Committee at First United Methodist Church of Muncy, Pennsylvania. Photo courtesy of First United Methodist Church, Muncy, PA.
“Celebrations of Life” are sometimes replacing memorials services. Fewer wear their Sunday best as they are invited to “come as you are.” Familiar hymns like “Abide with Me” and “How Great Thou Art” are sometimes replaced with contemporary songs like, “Tears in Heaven,” “Hallelujah,” or “I Can Only Imagine.”
Sometimes the deceased gets the last word…or song. A country music fan requested Joe Diffie’s lively hit, “Prop Me Up Beside the Jukebox When I Die,” as pall bearers carried out his casket. A church organist once played “Take Me Out to the Ballgame” as guests remembered the dearly departed young man as a huge Yankees baseball fan.
Sadly, Wallis says, there is another growing trend that disturbs him.
“In this day and age people are opting for no services of any kind, or they make a choice to get everything over with as soon as possible—no personal recognition of the deceased.”
PLANNED GIVING
To learn more about how The United Methodist Church can help you plan for a future memorial see the Planned Giving website of The Foundation of The United Methodist Church.
It’s okay to move on
Amy Birchill Lavergne, who counsels grieving families at the Nick Finnegan Counseling Center in Houston, says memorial services allow families and friends to have a meaningful experience after someone special dies.
Families, she explains, often worry that a memorial service will make people sad again, and it would be too painful to revisit a grave or a memorial bench.
“I tell families it’s okay to be sad because that’s how you feel.” Birchill Lavergne advises. “Having an opportunity to celebrate a life creates multiple feelings besides sadness--joy, laughter…remembering good times.”
“Memorials give people a way to talk through it, process that someone they love is not here, and realize it’s okay to move on with their life when they are ready,” she adds.
A fish on every hook!
Ed has been memorialized several times by his wife Nancy, by celebrating things he loved like fishing. Photo courtesy of Nancy.
When Nancy’s husband Ed passed away two years ago, she chose to honor Ed with several memorials, each centering on the loves of his life—the outdoors; teaching 6,000 inner city kids to fish; golf; and Viking movies.
First, Nancy asked that in lieu of flowers donations be made to a Memorial Fish Fund. The contributions ensured that many Houston children whom Ed introduced to Texas State Parks “will always find a fish on their hook!”
Ed’s obituary invited people to spend the morning fishing at a local Boy Scout campsite wearing their favorite fishing vest. A 70-year-old friend and his wife drove 250 miles to fry catfish and serve hushpuppies and coleslaw to friends.
“It broke the overwhelming grief for me,” Nancy says. “We scattered ashes in the lake, and we sang along to Dale Evans and Roy Rogers singing 'Happy Trails to You.'”
Perhaps because Nancy and Ed shared 35 years of “laughing our way around the world” his ashes continue to travel to destinations dear to the couple--Aspen where they honeymooned, Florida where Ed’s ashes mingled with the ashes of Nancy’s mom, a local lake where a miniature Viking-style schooner was lit afire and launched across the lake, and a golf course in Kapalua, Maui where Ed’s ashes were scattered at the 18th hole.
“When someone you love dies and you want to remember them in a unique and befitting way, you have to do something you can tolerate because you can’t tolerate much,” Nancy stresses. “Don’t be afraid to do something different that reflects the best friend, lover, child, or sidekick you love so dearly. Take time to figure it out and then just do what you can do.”
We invite you to share comments below about unique memorials you've created or seen too.
*Susan Passi-Klaus is a freelance writer based in Nashville, Tenn. News media contact: Joe Iovino, UMC.org Content Manager for United Methodist Communications, 615-312-3733.
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Plus: Fourth of July and Worship
As you consider the Fourth of July holiday in the U.S., read more about the church policy regarding flags in the sanctuary.Can we have an American flag in our sanctuary?
There is no denominational policy concerning the use of flags, including national flags, in the sanctuary. According to Rev. Dan Benedict, Center for Worship Resources, "There is no place in our hymnal or Book of Worship, which contain our United Methodist ritual, where there is even a suggestion of bearing the flag in procession, saluting or pledging allegiance to the flag, or that the American flag should be in worship." The use of flags in worship has been discouraged over the years.
However, the Scouting Ministries office of the General Commission on United Methodist Men, “encourages the use of flags in special services, Eagle Courts of Honor and other youth agency events since they are 'sponsored' by the local church. The Christian flag reminds us of our faith. The American flag reminds us of our heritage.”
The article "Should We Have Flags in the Church? The Christian Flag and the American Flag" addresses this same question.
Should We Have Flags in the Church? The Christian Flag and the American Flag by Hoyt HickmanIt’s hard to know what to do when someone you love dies. This feature about unique memorials might inspire you and help you advise others who are dealing with loss.Photo courtesy of First United Methodist Church in Muncy, Pennsylvania
Some churches offer wonderful ways of memorializing loved ones, like this fountain and memorial wall at First United Methodist Church in Muncy, Pennsylvania.
Honoring lost loved ones with unique memorials
A UMC.org Feature by Susan Passi-Klaus*
When memorializing the dearly departed, United Methodist churches are finding, and members are expecting to find, middle ground between dirges and disrespect; something less cliché than a canned service and releasing balloons. As one former funeral director and longtime member of a grief-conscious United Methodist church said, “meaning matters.”
When memorializing someone "meaning matters." Learn how others are honoring lost loved ones. #UMC
TWEET THISIt keeps his name alive
Susan Finnegan admits her son Nick would get a kick out of knowing he has a counseling center named after him—The Nick Finnegan Counseling Center, Houston, TX. The mom says her 18-year-old son, who died in a car accident in 2014, would probably say, “Why name a counseling center after me? I didn’t need counseling!”
Susan and Bill Finnegan found a wonderful way to memorialize their son Nick. They raised money to start a new ministry for families who are grieving. Photo courtesy of Bill and Susan Finnegan.
Soon after Nick’s sudden death, when it was “appropriate,” people began talking about memorializing him. Susan and her husband Bill knew they needed time to think of something that would honor their “amazing” son—a perfect student, star athlete, along with being naughty and cute.
“I wanted to do something amazing, as amazing as Nick—something that would do him justice,” she says. “But nothing felt right.”
Then St. Luke’s pastor the Rev. Tom Pace asked Susan to help raise funds for the young and growing St. Luke’s Counseling Center. Fundraising wasn’t her gift, but she went to the first meeting and the next and the next. And she listened.
“I knew I was being called by God,” Susan says. “All I did was say ‘yes.’”
“I kept thinking, wouldn’t it be great if I could get Nick’s name involved with this?” she recalls. “It didn’t happen overnight, but it happened in such a beautiful way.”
What started out as the Nick Finnegan Ministry evolved into the Nick Finnegan Counseling Center—a place where people experiencing tragic loss could be helped.
“It helps us to know that people don’t forget Nick. They continue to honor him with their service. It keeps Nick’s name and his gifts alive. That was very important to us. I don’t have any doubt it was the hand of God. Thank you God!”
The voice of experience
Retired funeral director Dave Wallis has guided families through their earthly goodbyes for more than 40 years, and now serves on the Memorial Garden Committee at his church of 50 years, First United Methodist Church of Muncy, Pennsylvania. When considering memorializing a loved one, Dave has three main pieces of advice:
- Always recognize and acknowledge the person you have loved.
- Don’t close the door to family and friends by keeping everything private.
- Share wishes for your memorial now. If you do not, your loved ones will be asked to make difficult decisions while in overwhelming pain.
Dave Wallis serves on the Memorial Garden Committee at First United Methodist Church of Muncy, Pennsylvania. Photo courtesy of First United Methodist Church, Muncy, PA.
“Celebrations of Life” are sometimes replacing memorials services. Fewer wear their Sunday best as they are invited to “come as you are.” Familiar hymns like “Abide with Me” and “How Great Thou Art” are sometimes replaced with contemporary songs like, “Tears in Heaven,” “Hallelujah,” or “I Can Only Imagine.”
Sometimes the deceased gets the last word…or song. A country music fan requested Joe Diffie’s lively hit, “Prop Me Up Beside the Jukebox When I Die,” as pall bearers carried out his casket. A church organist once played “Take Me Out to the Ballgame” as guests remembered the dearly departed young man as a huge Yankees baseball fan.
Sadly, Wallis says, there is another growing trend that disturbs him.
“In this day and age people are opting for no services of any kind, or they make a choice to get everything over with as soon as possible—no personal recognition of the deceased.”
PLANNED GIVING
To learn more about how The United Methodist Church can help you plan for a future memorial see the Planned Giving website of The Foundation of The United Methodist Church.
It’s okay to move on
Amy Birchill Lavergne, who counsels grieving families at the Nick Finnegan Counseling Center in Houston, says memorial services allow families and friends to have a meaningful experience after someone special dies.
Families, she explains, often worry that a memorial service will make people sad again, and it would be too painful to revisit a grave or a memorial bench.
“I tell families it’s okay to be sad because that’s how you feel.” Birchill Lavergne advises. “Having an opportunity to celebrate a life creates multiple feelings besides sadness--joy, laughter…remembering good times.”
“Memorials give people a way to talk through it, process that someone they love is not here, and realize it’s okay to move on with their life when they are ready,” she adds.
A fish on every hook!
Ed has been memorialized several times by his wife Nancy, by celebrating things he loved like fishing. Photo courtesy of Nancy.
When Nancy’s husband Ed passed away two years ago, she chose to honor Ed with several memorials, each centering on the loves of his life—the outdoors; teaching 6,000 inner city kids to fish; golf; and Viking movies.
First, Nancy asked that in lieu of flowers donations be made to a Memorial Fish Fund. The contributions ensured that many Houston children whom Ed introduced to Texas State Parks “will always find a fish on their hook!”
Ed’s obituary invited people to spend the morning fishing at a local Boy Scout campsite wearing their favorite fishing vest. A 70-year-old friend and his wife drove 250 miles to fry catfish and serve hushpuppies and coleslaw to friends.
“It broke the overwhelming grief for me,” Nancy says. “We scattered ashes in the lake, and we sang along to Dale Evans and Roy Rogers singing 'Happy Trails to You.'”
Perhaps because Nancy and Ed shared 35 years of “laughing our way around the world” his ashes continue to travel to destinations dear to the couple--Aspen where they honeymooned, Florida where Ed’s ashes mingled with the ashes of Nancy’s mom, a local lake where a miniature Viking-style schooner was lit afire and launched across the lake, and a golf course in Kapalua, Maui where Ed’s ashes were scattered at the 18th hole.
“When someone you love dies and you want to remember them in a unique and befitting way, you have to do something you can tolerate because you can’t tolerate much,” Nancy stresses. “Don’t be afraid to do something different that reflects the best friend, lover, child, or sidekick you love so dearly. Take time to figure it out and then just do what you can do.”
We invite you to share comments below about unique memorials you've created or seen too.
*Susan Passi-Klaus is a freelance writer based in Nashville, Tenn. News media contact: Joe Iovino, UMC.org Content Manager for United Methodist Communications, 615-312-3733.
READ MORE
Plus: Fourth of July and Worship
As you consider the Fourth of July holiday in the U.S., read more about the church policy regarding flags in the sanctuary.Can we have an American flag in our sanctuary?
There is no denominational policy concerning the use of flags, including national flags, in the sanctuary. According to Rev. Dan Benedict, Center for Worship Resources, "There is no place in our hymnal or Book of Worship, which contain our United Methodist ritual, where there is even a suggestion of bearing the flag in procession, saluting or pledging allegiance to the flag, or that the American flag should be in worship." The use of flags in worship has been discouraged over the years.
However, the Scouting Ministries office of the General Commission on United Methodist Men, “encourages the use of flags in special services, Eagle Courts of Honor and other youth agency events since they are 'sponsored' by the local church. The Christian flag reminds us of our faith. The American flag reminds us of our heritage.”
The article "Should We Have Flags in the Church? The Christian Flag and the American Flag" addresses this same question.
The following response to a request for help with the issues of placement of the American flag and the Christian flag in the sanctuary was written by Hoyt Hickman when he was a staff member of the Discipleship Ministries. We post it here as a resource for your church.
Answer:
Thank you for your inquiry concerning the use of American and Christian flags in church sanctuaries.
Common as this practice is, there seems to be no way to display both flags together that does not dishonor one flag or the other.
The Christian Flag gives the background of the Christian flag and the reasons why it should always have the place of highest honor when it is displayed. It is not a denominational flag or a church flag, but a symbol of our allegiance to Jesus Christ, who is above all others. It is a cardinal tenet of our faith that our loyalty to Christ comes above all earthly loyalties.
On the other hand, The Flag Code (United States Statutes at Large, Seventy-seventh Congress, Second Session 1942, Volume 56 — Part I, Public Laws) states in Section 3 (k): "When displayed from a staff in a church or public auditorium, the [American] flag should occupy the position of honor and be placed at the clergyman's or speaker's right as he faces the congregation or audience. Any other flag so displayed in the chancel or on the platform should be placed to the clergyman's or speaker's left as he faces the congregation or audience. But when the flag is displayed from a staff in a church or public auditorium elsewhere than in the chancel or on the platform, it shall be placed in the position of honor at the right of the congregation or audience as they face the chancel or platform. Any other flag so displayed should be placed on the left of the congregation or audience as they face the chancel or platform."
Both in The Flag Code and in the Bible, it is assumed that placement on the right signifies higher honor than — and priority over — placement on the left and that higher placement signifies higher honor than and priority over lower placement.
One might reason that the Christian flag could be placed in the chancel on the clergy's right, with the American flag on the floor level of the congregation on the congregation's right, or vice versa; but this inevitably means that the flag in the chancel is higher than the other and thus has the higher place of honor.
A further difficulty arises from the fact that in many church chancels the clergy presides from various places during different parts of the service — pulpit, lectern, Lord's Table and baptismal font. The way many chancels are designed, placing a flag to the right of all the points from which the clergy presides would mean placing a flag so far to the side that it is obviously not being accorded the place of highest honor but is shunted off toward or into a corner.
It is important to remember that the Christian flag originated almost a hundred years ago in churches that usually did not display a cross in the sanctuary other than the white cross on the blue field of the Christian flag. Today, of course, most United Methodist churches have a cross in the sanctuary in what is obviously intended as the place of highest honor, on or above the Lord's Table. Since this cross serves the same function as the Christian flag, it renders the Christian flag unnecessary. It also places any American flag present in a position of relatively lower honor. Given the provisions in the U.S. Flag Code and the fact that a cross serves as a symbol of allegiance just as a flag does, I do not see how we can properly display the American flag in the chancel if there is a cross there. Because of its central and higher location, the cross plainly has a place of higher honor than the American flag.
The same difficulty arises when the American flag is carried in a processional at the opening of a service and the processional cross goes first, as Christians agree it must.
There is still another difficulty in displaying the American flag in the place of highest honor during worship. It is one of the oldest and most universal Christian understandings of worship that when we gather around the Lord's Table for worship, the gathering consists not only of God and the visible congregation, but also includes (even though invisibly) the whole universal church of all times and all places, in heaven and on earth. Even if everyone visibly present is an American citizen, most of those invisibly present are not.
To sum it up, we in American wisely separate church and state. As American Christians, we honor the cross and we honor the flag; but we keep them separate. An American flag used in the worship of theuniversal church is no more appropriate than hanging a cross in a civil courtroom used by Americans of all religions.
Editor's Note You might also want to read "The American Flag in Methodist Worship: A Historical Look at Practice" by Karen B. Westerfield Tucker.
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United Methodist Communications
810 12th Avenue South
Nashville, Tennessee 37203-4704 United States
umcom@umcom.org
United Methodist Communications
810 12th Avenue South
Nashville, Tennessee 37203-4704 United States
umcom@umcom.org
Phone: 615.742.5400
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