Missionary Renegade: Rabbi Evan Moffic of Congregation Solel in Highland Park, Illinois, United States for Friday, 30 June 2017 "The Marriage Doctor"

Friday, June 30, 2017

Rabbi Evan Moffic of Congregation Solel in Highland Park, Illinois, United States for Friday, 30 June 2017 "The Marriage Doctor"

Rabbi Evan Moffic of Congregation Solel in Highland Park, Illinois, United States for Friday, 30 June 2017 "The Marriage Doctor"

One of my heroes is a doctor named John Gottman. He works with couples from around the world on marital reconciliation. He doesn't always succeed, of course, but he has developed extraordinarily tools and insights.
One of his boldest claims is that he can look at a couple interacting on a video—without sound—and figure out within a minute whether they will be divorced within five years. Studies of his conclusion show 94% accuracy!
Now that's impressive and interesting. But watching these interactions has given him great practical wisdom even for those of us who do not seek his help.
He has figured out the critical difference between a happy relationship and a destructive one. It is the habit of kindness. When he sees couples rolling their eyes at each other and using aggressive or dismissive body language, he gets scared. That is a sign of mounting danger.
When he sees smiles and engaging body language, he is optimistic. That is a sign of an underlying kindness and respect.
The key here is kindness. Kindness strengthens connection.
Think of the very word itself-- "Kindness" is related to the word "kin." Kindness brings us closer to one another, turning us into kin rather than rivals, family rather than strangers.
The more we practice kindness, the more naturally it comes to us.
So Smile. Speak positive words. Hold the door open for another person. Give up your seat to someone older if you can. Those habits cultivate kindness.
And they make us happier and more deeply connected to one another.
I explain why many people—especially men—hesitate to perform acts of kindness in Chapter Three of The Happiness Prayer—Ancient Jewish Wisdom for the Best Way to Live Today.
You can get pre-order that book today and get three bonuses worth $177.00 (a gratitude tracker, a happiness quick start guide, and a copy of my first book.) Just send the receipt to evan@rabbi.me.
If you already have pre-ordered (and I know many of you have), just send me the receipt as well, and I'll send over the great bonuses.
P.S.: The reason I ask for preorders is because they let Amazon and other booksellers know people want the book. The more preorders a book has, the more likely bookstores will carry it, and it can reach a larger audience.
That's why I give away lots of special bonuses to my readers who pre-order it. Even if you don't, I hope you find value and meaning in these teachings.