Wednesday, September 20, 2017
4 Clues for Inviting Others to Church Effectively by Doug PoweLewis Center Director Doug Powe says many people just don't like inviting other people to church, in part because faith is so personal and in part because they fear rejection. He provides four clues for inviting in a way that is genuine, specific, honest, and expectant.
Many of us have been in conversations about inviting new people to our congregation and somebody always says, “Everybody I know already goes to church,” which takes them off the hook for inviting new people. Statistically speaking, the range of weekly church attendance is highest for the Silent Generation (51%) and lowest for older millennials (27%). Based on these statistics from the Pew Research Center, even for someone belonging to the Silent Generation, it’s likely that only half the people they know attend church.
Inviting others to anything is a scary proposition. The goal is an invitation that leaves space for others to say yes and that doesn’t paint an overly negative or rosy picture.
The challenge is we really do not like inviting individuals to church. The fear of rejection is one of the main reasons. Understandably most of us do not enjoy rejection at any level. Yet, if we are serious about sharing God’s transforming love, then inviting others to a place where that can happen is important.Clues for Inviting Others
1. The invitation should be about a genuine connection and not staged. It is best to invite individuals to an event that has bearing on their life or appeals to their interests. It comes across as a genuine connection and not something staged that comes out of left field. I might say, for instance, “I have an extra ticket to hear that new group you like on Friday at 7. I would love for you to come with me.” The connection is authentic because they have an interest in the group. If we translate this to inviting someone to church, then we share with them how the new sermon series on addictions may be helpful as they deal with a child in rehabilitation. The point is the invitation comes across as thoughtful and something that connects with the other person.
2. Be specific. Often, when we do invite, our invitations are very general. If I say to someone, “come to dinner at my house on Sunday,” it leaves out important information, like the time of dinner and where I live. A better dinner invitation is “come over at 5 p.m. on Sunday and my address is 123 Main Street, which I will text you so you can Google directions.” The same principle applies to church. Simply saying, “Why don’t you come to my church on Sunday,” is not as specific as “I would love for you to come to Main Street Congregation at 10 a.m. Our address is 123 Main Street, and I will meet you in the parking lot.” Be specific!
3. Be honest about what we know and do not know. Another reason many of us do not invite is that we are afraid someone may ask us questions to which we do not know the answer, such as, “Why do bad things happen to good people?” It is okay if we do not have all the answers. In many cases others are relieved that we do not know everything. This communicates to others that you are not trying to sell them a bill of goods. We all have been in situations where a salesperson was willing to tell us anything to get us to buy the product. To exaggerate the point, imagine a salesperson saying you need this vacuum cleaner (that works well on shag carpet) when they know you only have hardwood floors in the house. This would leave a bad taste in your mouth. Honesty goes a long way and individuals respect those who are upfront with them.
4. It is important to invite with expectant hope. Do not invite with a defeatist attitude. There are times when we so underplay the invitation it comes across as if we really do not want the other person to come. For instance, a friend saying, “My family reunion is on Saturday. It probably won’t be fun, but you might want to come if you have absolutely nothing else to do.” This is not a compelling invite! But it’s equally important not to go to the opposite extreme and be overly effusive. The goal is an invitation that leaves space for others to say yes without painting an overly negative or rosy picture.
Inviting others to anything is a scary proposition. This is especially true for church because of the personal nature of faith. I believe it is helpful to make a genuine connection, be specific, be honest and avoid shading the picture too bleakly or too rosily. Ultimately, we are inviting others to experience a transforming relationship with God.
Related Resources
- An Opportunity for an Invitation by Sondra Jones
- Evangelism Today Requires New Wineskins by Doug Powe
- Time to Invite by Lovett H. Weems, Jr.
The Power of Conversation by Bill OwensChurch consultant Bill Owens describes how effective leaders understand the importance of conversation in shaping culture. They learn the subtle art of reframing narratives in healthy and constructive ways.
Church people talk. They talk about all kinds of things. They talk about the pastor, her sermon, how many people used to be in worship, and what we ought to be doing but haven’t yet. This kind of talk can be threatening, but it doesn’t have to be. Having people care enough about what’s happening at church to talk about it is a good thing. Conversation creates culture. It’s the path toward vitality and growth.
Never underestimate the power of conversation, whether in the hallways, around the table, or from the pulpit. It all matters.
Reframe the NarrativeEffective church leaders must learn that the surest way out of an unhealthy climate is by changing the narrative, by reframing how people talk. This process is nuanced, but the Gospels help.
Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John all began as conversations. These writing evangelists stood in a long line of communicators, stringing together stories told and retold, heard and recounted. They gathered the best and wrote them down so parents could recite them to their children and teachers to their students and neighbors to their neighbors. Before long, friends from remote places were also talking about Jesus as the Son of God. The political talking heads tried to spurn Jesus’ story by mocking him and killing him for blasphemy. But those who had been near him had gotten word to those now far off that he was so much more. They re-authored the culture surrounding Jesus’ story all because the church people decided to talk.
Conversations Can Be Powerful
If you think about it, not one of us would have ever come to faith apart from someone having said something to us. Words as simple as, “Hey, why don’t you come to church with me?” Maybe it was, “I’ll pray for you,” or “God bless.” Whatever it may have been, the fact is someone at one time or another said something that touched us, “spoke” to us, or maybe challenged or even angered us. It whetted our appetites or made us curious enough to take a step toward God.
This is how church has worked for two millennia now. It thrives on people talking to one another. This is how a carpenter’s son from Nazareth becomes known all over the world. People talk and word travels. People talk and lives transform. People talk and churches are established. People talk and systems get established like hospitals and nonprofits to help the poor, cure the sick, and mend the broken. Just think what churches have accomplished, are accomplishing, and still can accomplish by how they focus their talk.
But beware. Having people care enough about what’s happening to talk about it can also be bad. Unhealthy conversations that go unchecked damage culture. It leads down a path of dissension and decline. Too often we underestimate the effects of how people talk. Serious matters treated too casually or electronically reduced to 140-word tweets or diminished to emoticons or scrolled across the bottom of television monitors threaten the culture being shaped.
What We Say Matters
Talk is seldom cheap. What we say, when, and how we say it count. It matters in every realm — political, relational, and spiritual. When political leaders articulate with moral clarity our highest values, citizens rally to form a more perfect union. When friends surround one another during times of crisis, words of comfort and concern give strength and peace. When a neighbor tells the truth in love to one who has asked for it, when a spouse ends a quarrel with forgiveness, when a teacher bends to encourage a student to use her voice because every child matters — each makes a difference.
Never underestimate the power of conversation, whether in the hallways, around the table, or from the pulpit. It all matters. It’s easy to settle for tepid, empty words — to exchange pleasantries, bless the status quo, comment on the weather, or exchange sports scores. Don’t be duped. While everyday banter can help build rapport and establish trust, conversation left alone or left unshaped is not pastoral leadership.
Articulate a Clear Vision
Good pastors articulate a consistent, clear vision of a God-sized future; communities of faith respond. Effective pastors are able to spread the message: “Here’s the picture; this is what we’re doing; here’s why we’re doing it; if things go right, here’s what the picture will look like a year from now.” The really good pastors are able to use their pulpits to offer a prophetic call to congregations to follow the narrative of Jesus without feeling threatened by a low trust culture. The best pastors are able to get their ministerial staffs to also be collaborative leaders shaping the new narrative while they lead teams.
When this occurs, specific steps of implementation follow and real ministry takes root shaping the church’s culture, spilling over into the life of the community. Healthy churches and pastors know how to establish a high trust culture that focuses attention on what and how people talk. Churches that put a premium on healthy, intentional conversations thrive.
People are going to talk. Why not make it a healthy conversation?
This article is reprinted from the newsletter of The Center for Healthy Churches. Used by permission.
Related Resources
- How Leaders Create Culture Every Day by Ryan Stigile
- The Leader as Communicator by Lovett H. Weems, Jr.
- The Power of Stories by Jill Fox
The Right Question
Leaders do not need answers. Leaders must have the right questions.
Michael Frost and Alan Hirsch suggest a way to break open thinking about church.
What would your experience of church be like: a) if you no longer had a building? b) if you could no longer meet on Sundays? c) if you had no pastor or clearly identifiable leadership team?
Want more Right Questions? Read Right Questions for Church Leaders. 
50 Ways to Increase Worship AttendanceWorship attendance is vital to the mission of the church. Our free "50 Ways" tip sheet provides practical strategies to help you invite new people to attend worship; improve the attendance of current members; make your church visible and attractive; welcome worship guests warmly; and make worship accessible to newcomers.
Vital worship strengthens other areas of ministry by inspiring faith, building community, and connecting people to the congregation’s mission. Because worship is at the center of congregational life, strong attendance is more than a number. It is a vital sign.
Prepared by Robert Crossman
Improve the attendance of current members
- Strive to increase the number of times current members are in worship each year. Start with yourself.
- At least once or twice each year, perhaps in the New Year’s resolution season, teach and preach the importance of faithful worship attendance.
- Invite church members to make a written commitment to grow one step toward faithful attendance.
- Include a commitment to faithful worship attendance as part of a holistic annual stewardship commitment.
- Keep a record of attendance and monitor it.
- Know that it is important to respond to absentees before they drop out of active attendance. Once a regular attender misses six consecutive weeks, it is hard to return to the habit of consistent Sunday worship.
- Form a worship membership care team to review attendance within 24 hours of each service.
- Send a handwritten note (signed by the membership care team, not the pastor) to anyone who has missed three Sundays in a row. Say, “Looking through the attendance slips, we’ve missed your name! Hope to see you next Sunday.” In a smaller church, the wording can be more personal.
- Ask a personal friend (a choir mate, Sunday School class member, or someone who sits in the same pew) to telephone people who have missed four Sundays in a row. “Hi John. We’ve noticed that Fred has missed church the last four Sundays. Can you telephone him this evening?”
- Maintain a loving, invitational relationship with those who have been absent for five or more Sundays. Never be judgmental.
- Know that is often very difficult to return to worship after the death of a loved one. Form a Grief Support Team to send handwritten notes monthly until the family has returned to regular Sunday attendance.
- Telephone every household in the church and everyone who has ever visited to invite them to some special event four times a year. Say, “Hi, we are calling everyone related to First Church this week, reminding everyone that this Sunday the choir is singing the Messiah. I hope you will be there.”
Invite new people to attend worship
- Decide today to open your minds, hearts, and doors to new faces, even if it means changing your music, sermon content, Sunday School, and enlarging your personal circle of Christian friends.
- Pray for the unchurched in your community. Pray for children being raised outside the church, couples in marriages that don’t have Christ at their center, etc. But pray also for specific families and individuals — friends, relatives, associates, neighbors — by name every day.
- Know that personal invitations are the most effective method of increasing worship attendance. Invest 60 seconds once a week to invite someone to attend worship with you.
- Continue to invite a person every two months even if they decline your invitations. Those invited may eventually come to a season of life when they are receptive to attending worship. Regular invitations are more likely to overlap one of these seasons.
- Recycle your worship bulletins. Keep Sunday’s bulletin in your car or on your desk until you have given it to someone along with your personal invitation for them to join you in worship.
- At least once a year, perhaps in the pre-Christmas season, preach and teach the importance of becoming an inviting people. Invite the congregation to make a written commitment to grow one step toward faithful inviting and witnessing.
- Distribute to members simple printed invitations during the Christmas and Easter seasons that they can give to family and friends. Print at the top of the card, “If you are not active in a church, worship with us this season.”
- Have a “Bring a Friend Day” or “F.R.A.N.” Day — a church-wide effort to bring a Friend, Relative, Associate or Neighbor. Select a Sunday when something special is happening, such as homecoming, the start of Vacation Bible School, or Christmas Eve. And prepare as you would for company coming.
- Know that the people who are on the fringe of your church are your future, your prospect list, and your next potential generation of deeply devoted disciples. Avoid the tendency to denigrate or alienate those who are not yet fully committed disciples.
- Find ways continually to invite these “near the edges” of your church, especially those who already have a positive impression of the church, such as those who have come to the church for a wedding, a funeral, or to vote and those who already worship a couple of times a year. Do not drop them from the newsletter or membership list.
- Distribute door hangers in target neighborhoods near your church. It is more effective to cover the same 500 doors six times, than to do 3,000 doors one time.
- Send mass mailers to targeted postal routes near your church six to eight times a year. The back-to-school season, pre-Christmas, and pre-Easter times are logical for these mailing.
- Have a website. Increasingly, people use the internet and Google the same way our grandparents used the Yellow Pages. The web presence can be very simple, a single page with a map, worship times, simple welcoming invitation, and contact information.
Make your church visible and attractive
- Purchase permanent roadside directional signs to point the way to your building. If your building is not on the main highway, install a prominent sign on the highway.
- Purchase temporary yard signs to put out for a few days and then remove. They catch the eye and are relatively inexpensive. They should be very simple with little wording, such as: “Worship 10 a.m. Sunday. You’re Invited.” “Easter Sunday 11 a.m. You’re Invited.”
- Don’t hide your cars. If there is parking in front of the building, use it. Cars in the parking lot lets the community know that something important is happening at your church.
- Make a good first impression through the appearance of your building and landscaping. A well cared for exterior lets guests know that you are expecting company.
- Clearly indicate the main entry to your building so that worship guests can find it easily.
- Reserve the best parking spaces for guests. The pastor, staff, and church officers should park on the edge of the parking lot, leaving the best spaces for others.
- Make the nursery the nicest room in the church to attract and keep families with young children. It should be clean and well equipped, in an easy-to-find location close to the worship space, and staffed with adults. As your church grows, you will need pagers, check in and check out procedures, and nursery staff wearing uniforms with a photo ID.
- Have clean, neat Sunday School rooms for children. The Sunday School program should be well-staffed and well-resourced.
Welcome worship guests warmly
- Greet guests when they first arrive in the parking lot. Give a couple of people orange vests and have them wave and smile as cars pull in. On rainy days, they can escort people to the door under a church umbrella. If the lot is large, they can drive folks to the door in golf carts.
- Greet guests as they arrive at the door, saying “Good to see you. Glad you are here.” Do not ask for their names as many guests are cautious and prefer anonymity. The larger the church, the more this is true.
- Clearly mark the rest rooms, nursery, and worship rooms. In a large building with a complicated layout, have greeters stand at the intersection of hallways ready to escort guests who are unsure about finding their way.
- Find a way to acknowledge and welcome guests in worship without singling them out or embarrassing them. In many communities, guests prefer to be anonymous so don’t ask them to stand and introduce themselves.
- Have an easy and readily available method for worship guests who wish to give you their name and contact information.
- Practice the “Circle of Ten.” Encourage church leaders to personally greet everyone — member or guest — who may sit within ten feet of them on Sunday.
- Know that guests typically leave the building within three minutes after the service. Encourage church leaders to follow the “Rule of Three,” devoting the first three minutes after the benediction to speaking with people they don’t know before speaking to family and friends.
- Have greeters at all the exits, smiling, shaking hands, and simply saying to members and guests as they leave, “Glad you were here. I hope to see you next Sunday.”
- Start a “First Friends” ministry as a way to reach a new age, racial, or cultural group. Train a pool of people, from a variety of ages and stages of life, to watch for first time guests, sit by them, treat them to lunch, and telephone them the next Saturday inviting them to Sunday worship.
Make worship accessible to newcomers
- Make your worship bulletin or screens visitor friendly. Include the actual words, or at least the page numbers, for any songs or responses commonly known to members but not newcomers.
- Preach sermons that don’t assume familiarity with the inner workings of the church or a high level of previous biblical knowledge.
- Present all musical offerings well and in a style most likely to appeal to worship guests.
- Consider adding an additional worship service to reach new people who would prefer a different time; or to reach new people who would prefer a different style of worship and music.
- Start a new church or a second worship site at a different location as a way of increasing attendance.
Follow up with visitors
- Develop a systematic plan for following up with visitors after their first, second, and third visits.
- One model some use includes 1) follow up with first-time visitors with a doorstep visit before 3 p.m. that same Sunday, a letter or telephone call from the pastor within two days, and placement on the newsletter and email lists; 2) follow up with second-time visitors with telephone call within 36 hours from someone related to the visitor’s interests or needs — for example, a Youth Minister, or Sunday School Teacher, or Choir Director; and 3) follow up with persons who visit a third time with a telephone call to request a home visit.
- Invite newcomers who have visited in recent months to an informal coffee with the pastor or other social gathering that includes fellowship and information.
Dr. Robert Crossman is Minister of New Church Starts and Congregational Advancement for the Arkansas Conference of the United Methodist Church. Used by permission.
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2017 Clergy Age Trends Report AvailableFor over ten years, the Lewis Center in partnership with Wespath Benefits has reported annually on the changing age trends among United Methodist clergy in the United States. The 2017 edition of Clergy Age Trends in the United Methodist Church reveals continued modest growth among young clergy, a dramatic drop in the proportion of middle age clergy, and a major increase in the proportion of older clergy. The report includes figures for every annual conference.
2017 Clergy Age Report by Lovett H. Weems, Jr.
Download the 2017 Clergy Age Trends Report. For over ten years, the Lewis Center in partnership with Wespath Benefits has reported annually on the changing age trends among United Methodist clergy in the United States. This research examines elders, deacons, and local pastors. We see several trends in 2017.
Number of Young Elders Shows Downturn in 2017
Since the low point for young clergy in 2005, there has been a modest but steady increase in the presence of clergy under 35. Unfortunately, while the percentage for young elders remained near 7 percent in 2017, the total number declined by 53 in 2017, the largest drop in over a decade. By contrast, the number and percentage of young deacons continues to increase, though the numbers are much smaller.
Summary video of 2017 Clergy Age findings. Download this video free.
First Declines in Young Women Elders
The increase in young elders since 2005 has come from clergywomen. In 2017, there are 104 more young women elders than in 2005, while there are 4 fewer young men elders than in 2005. However, in the last two years, the number of young women elders has declined for the first time since our reporting began. There are 34 fewer young women elders in 2017 than a year ago. Their percentage of all young elders declined to 39 percent after reaching a high of 41 percent in 2015.
Middle Age and Older Clergy Mirror Recent Trends
The makeup of middle age elders, deacons, and local pastors (ages 35 to 54) and older (ages 55 to 72) remained proportionately about the same as last year. These percentages tend to be record lows for the middle age group and record highs for the older cohort.
Age of Retirement Continues to Rise
One factor leading to the increase in older clergy is the higher age at which clergy retire. Since 2000 there has been a fairly consistent increase in the age of retirement. The average age at which United Methodist clergy retired in 2000 was just under 64. By 2016, the average retirement age had increased to over 66. The retirement age in 2016 for elders was 66, deacons, 67, full time local pastors, 67, and part time local pastors, 70.
Fewer Elders and More Local Pastors
Since at least the 1980s, there has been a major decline in the number of active elders while the number of local pastors increased dramatically. This pattern continues in 2017. There are 513 fewer elders and 104 more local pastors in 2017 than in 2016. The result is that since 1990 there are 7,355 fewer elders and 3,576 more local pastors. In 1990, there were over five elders for each local pastor; today there are just under two elders for each local pastor. In 2017, there are 14,152 elders and 7,512 local pastors.
Download the 2017 Clergy Age Trends Report. Much more information is available in the complete Clergy Age Trends in the United Methodist Church 2017 report, which is available for download free of charge. The full report includes detailed data for every annual conference.
Related Resources:
- Young Clergy Numbers Grow Among Young Clergywomen by Lovett H. Weems, Jr.
- The Young Clergy Dilemma in Mainline Denominations by Lovett H. Weems, Jr.
- To the Point: Why Young Clergy Matter
Quotable Leadership
The truth may set you free, but first it will shatter the safe, sweet way you live. (Sue Monk Kidd)
Subscribe to "Focus," a New Resource for Denominational LeadersIn his new role as senior consultant for the Lewis Center, Dr. Lovett H. Weems, Jr., is building on our efforts to equip conference and judicatory leaders. One new resource is Focus, a periodic e-newsletter specifically designed for leaders who have responsibility for more than one congregation or pastoral charge.
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Registration Closes Soon for Events Honoring Lovett Weems
Registration for Take the Next Step closes Tuesday, September 26. The celebratory dinner and symposium honoring Dr. Weems' many contributions in leading the church to greater fruitfulness are September 28 and 29in Washington, DC.
Register now.
Register Now for "More Church Leaders | Stronger Church Leaders" Conference and Live StreamSaturday, November 4, 10 a.m.-1 p.m. Eastern
Churches with vital, growing ministries learn to leverage leadership potential within their congregations. At More Church Leaders | Stronger Church Leaders you will learn strategies to identify and support new leaders and build and maintain effective ministry teams. Clergy and lay leaders, in churches both large and small, will discover a more synergistic and fruitful way of being in ministry together. Save with early-bird registration through October 10.
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