Wednesday, October 31, 2018
1. Asking visitors to introduce themselves in worship
It’s common practice in many churches to ask newcomers to stand and introduce themselves to the congregation. This practice seems perfectly logical to church members who are happy to see a new face in worship and want to get to know the person better. But imagine it from the visitor’s perspective. You are put on the spot, usually without any notice. Everyone is staring at you. You’re wondering what they think about your appearance or apparel. You’re not sure what you should say. On top of everything else, there’s a high likelihood that public speaking is one of your greatest fears.Always begin by putting yourself in the shoes of someone who is new. Is what you are doing truly a welcoming gesture? Or is it done primarily to serve your own purposes at the expense of making new people feel awkward and uncomfortable?
For many people, especially introverts or those unsure about whether they really belong in church, nothing could be more awkward. In a large congregation, visitors may be able to avoid being called on by ducking from view. But visitors rarely go unnoticed in smaller congregations, and it’s very hard to escape this ordeal even if it makes them feel conspicuous and very uncomfortable.
2. Assigning buddies or mentors to newcomers
Another common approach in welcoming new people is to assign them a buddy or a shepherd who will sit in the pew with them, help them learn their way around, familiarize them with church programs and activities, and even invite them out to lunch on occasion after services. All these things can be helpful, positive gestures. But who wants to have a friend “assigned” to them? It can feel as if the church is playing matchmaker and the resulting match might be forced or awkward.
It’s important to have people in your church who are intentional about making connections with newcomers and helping them get plugged into things. But it will feel more natural to newcomers if these connections develop more organically. And if you can’t imagine doing away with your church’s buddy program, at least make it optional, rather than forcing it on new members. We’ve done this in my church, and the vast majority of new people have opted against it.
3. Showing up at a visitor’s home unannounced
We’ve all heard the success stories of pastors who grew their churches by showing up on the doorstep of their first-time visitors. But the fact of the matter is that “visiting” is less and less a part of how people relate to one another these days. Personally, I’m horrified at the idea of someone I don’t know well showing up unexpected when I’m watching TV in my comfy pants, the kid’s toys are littered across the living room, and the sink is piled high with unwashed dishes. I don’t even like the idea of someone I know well showing up under those circumstances.
Additionally, as digital communication has become more the norm, some people seem to have grown more averse to face-to-face encounters. A lot of people don’t even want to receive a phone call unless it’s been set up in advance through a text or email. We can debate whether or not this is a healthy trend, but we still need to acknowledge that it’s how a lot of people, particularly digital natives, prefer to engage others. Don’t get me wrong. It’s very important to follow up with your visitors. But you might want to start with some less intrusive ways, lest your visitors feel they are being stalked or their privacy is being invaded.
There are many positive, constructive ways that churches can welcome newcomers. But always begin by putting yourself in the shoes of someone who is new. Ask whether what you are doing is truly a welcoming gesture or if it is being done primarily to serve your own purposes at the expense of new people who may be made to feel awkward and uncomfortable.
Related Resources:
- The New Welcome Video Tool Kit
- 50 Ways to Welcome New People, a free Lewis Center resource
- 6 Ways to Create a Guest-Friendly Worship Service by John Zehring
- Evangelism Hospitality Reach New Disciples Visitors Welcome
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I visited one time with a very active church member. He had recently made two gifts. One was to his church and the other was to his college. The one to the college was twenty times the size of the one to the church. I sat in his living room and asked him how he had come to the conclusion to distribute his wealth as he had.The belief in the mission of the nonprofit may be the number one reason people will say they chose to give to something, but in most cases, they also had some relationship with the person who was leading the mission.
Immediately, he began to share with me the relationship he had developed with the president of the college. He commented that the president had come to see him personally six to seven times over the last year. In those visits they had discussed wealth and how it can be a blessing and a curse. They discussed what success was like and how it compared to significance. They talked about the mission of the college and the president’s vision going forward. Eventually the president asked this man if he and his wife would consider funding a significant portion of that vision, and the gift was made.
Pastors don’t like to talk about money
In talking with this donor, I asked how many pastors had served his church over the forty years he had attended. He told me, after counting them up, that it was seven. I then asked him how many of his pastors had ever engaged with him around the issue of wealth. Had any sought to establish the sort of trusting relationship that he had with the president? Had any ventured into discussions about money? Very quickly he said, “No, but that was okay. You know that pastors don’t like to talk about money.”
Now pastors need relationships with numerous persons within their congregations who struggle with issues of all sorts from addictions to marital problem to sickness and death. These often come easily. Pastors often overlook building relationships with persons who struggle with how a disciple is to manage money.
My experience is that persons of wealth want help and spiritual counsel to determine the right thing to do. This takes time. Like hoeing the ground of weeds, it may not show immediate fruit. But the potential for a great harvest is there if it is done right.
People give to people
People give to people. This is a fundamental principle that most in the church fail to grasp. The belief in the mission of the nonprofit may be the number one reason people will say they chose to give to something, but in most cases, they also had some relationship with the person who was leading the mission. It was the degree of confidence they had in that person that often set the level of support they gave.
Major donors in particular are very interested in knowing exactly who will be managing whatever charitable investment they choose to make. They are keenly aware that money by itself makes little difference but money in the right hands can change the world. A major donor needs to have a strong enough relationship with this person to inspire confidence. This is relationship building. This takes time and simply cannot and should not be rushed.
Friend-raising trumps fundraising every time. If you have done a good job of plowing the field, planting the seed, weeding out the grass, watering the ground, and fertilizing the soil, then the harvest months later will be easy. If, however, you try to rush and skip some of these steps your harvest will be minimal at best. You must plow and water before you pick.
Adapted from God vs. Money: Winning Strategies in the Combat Zone (Abingdon Press, 2018) by J. Clif Christopher. Used by permission. The book is available at Cokesbury and Amazon.
Related Resources:
- Optimizing Annual Financial Campaigns Video Tool Kit
- 50 Ways to Encourage Faithful Giving, a free Lewis Center resource
- 6 Ways to Maximize Your Church’s Home-Field Advantage in Giving by Chris Willard And Jim Sheppard
- Funding Giving Stewardship
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The Right Question
Leaders do not need answers. Leaders must have the right questions.
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- What are the assumptions underlying what we are doing?
- Have they been tested recently?
- Have circumstances changed?
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Passing the Plate (Oxford University Press, 2008) by sociologists Christian Smith and Michael Emerson and researcher Patricia Snell reveals some unfortunate truths about the giving patterns of American Christians. Twenty percent give nothing to church or other charities. The vast majority give very little. Congregations manage to stay afloat only because of the generosity of a very small percentage who account for about sixty percent of total giving — and because churches spend the lion’s share of what is given on their internal needs. Moreover, more affluent church members generally give a lesser percentage of income than those of more modest means. The book attempts to provide a sociological explanation for why American Christians are so stingy, despite massive gains in real per capita income over the past century.
Reality and perception
The authors of this study conclude that this poor giving cannot be attributed to a lack of adequate financial resources. People who collectively spend not just billions but trillions of dollars on discretionary items and luxury goods each year cannot objectively claim that they do not have enough money to give. But, they conclude, “their subjective perceptions of financial constraint appear to be an important factor limiting their giving money more liberally.” Even upper middle class Americans tend to think they are just getting by when they are, in fact, quite affluent by any objective standard. Most Christians have the financial capacity to give much more, but only by adjusting their financial priorities and perceptions.
A conspiracy of silence
Another factor stifling generosity is the conspiracy of silence around money and giving in the church and society in general. In American culture, matters of personal and family finances are highly privatized. Few people feel comfortable discussing their income or financial situation with colleagues, friends, family members, sometimes even their own spouses — much less at church or with their pastor. Pastors, too, tend to be quite uncomfortable dealing with issues of money and giving. Many are so anxious about appearing to talk about money too much that they avoid it altogether.
As a consequence, many church members are confused about how to apply the teaching of their faith to their personal resources. Their intentions are often good, but they are not given clear expectations or a consistent framework for their giving. The result is haphazard and occasional giving that fails to live up to normative teachings on stewardship. These authors suggest communicating expectations about religious giving more clearly, teaching the theology of giving more confidently, building trust through improved financial systems and more effective communications, and providing a variety of well-structured and regular means of giving.
“Pay the bills” or “live the vision”
Congregational culture is also a determinate of giving. The book contrasts two types of churches: “pay the bills” churches that are preoccupied with institutional needs and view giving through the lens of obligation, and “live the vision” churches that focus on God’s vision for their church. They see giving as an important aspect of the Christian life and concentrate on nurturing faith, building relationships, and serving mission. For them, increased giving goes with spiritual growth. Although cultural transformation is neither quick nor easy, moving toward a “live the vision” mentality encourages faithful giving.
No small matter
The authors preface their work with the bold claim that “if American Christians were to give from their income generously — not lavishly, mind you, only generously — they could transform the world, starting right away.… They could generate, over and above what they currently give, a total of another $133.4 billion a year.” This provocative claim is also the most hopeful — not just a rallying cry but a Kingdom mandate for us to give up to our potential.
Dr. Ann A. Michel is associate director of the Lewis Center and lecturer in church leadership at Wesley Theological Seminary where she teaches stewardship classes.
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There Are No Small Churches by Steve Harper
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While in college and seminary, I pastored several small churches. And after graduating from seminary, I was appointed to serve another one. Like other small-church pastors, I was tempted to buy into the “bigger is better” view, but I am writing today to say that one of the best things that ever happened to me in pastoral ministry was serving small congregations.In doing so, I learned there is no such thing as a “small” church. Every church is beyond our capacity to serve it. From day one we are in over our head, which enables us to define being successful in ministry as radically relying on grace. As Solomon wrote, “Unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain” (Psalm 127:1).
There are no small churches because people are in them, and the needs of people are as real in little congregations as in bigger ones. In the small churches I served, people were poised to grow. They were ready to move from membership to discipleship. In these churches people got sick, they died, they had discouraging marriages, they had wayward children, they had aging parents to look after, they had stressful work settings, etc. Potential blessings and painful problems were present in small churches. People needed good shepherds there as much as anywhere else.
I also learned the perception that most churches are larger ones is an illusion. It was true decades ago, and it is still true. The last time I saw a statistic, I found that even in today’s “megachurch” environment, 50% of congregations in the United States have less than 75 members.
But perhaps most of all, small churches are places to learn what Henri Nouwen once wrote to a friend who was discouraged because of a small response to her ministry, “In the area of spirituality, statistics do not count. Two or three people who hear you well, may be able to do miracles.” [1] Having pastored small churches, I understand the truth and significance of Nouwen’s words.
When I responded to a new call to move from pastoring churches to pastoring seminarians, I found myself wondering if I could do better if I had served larger congregations. But I am happy to tell you that the Holy Spirit quickly squelched my skewed thinking. Some of the things I have written about above became precious memories to share with students, most of whom would graduate from seminary and be appointed to small churches as I was — and some of whom would mostly serve small churches throughout their years of service.
In the end, it was my pastoring small churches which gave me my most important lesson to share with my students — a lesson I share with you today: there are no small churches, but only “small” pastors who view them as such. It’s an “ouch!” realization, but one that will save your ministerial soul.
[1] Henri J.M. Nouwen, ‘Love, Henri: Letters on the Spiritual Life’ (Convergent, 2016), 310.
Steve Harper is the author of For the Sake of the Bride and Five Marks of a Methodist. He blogs at Oboedire.
Steve Harper
Steve Harper taught spiritual formation and Wesley studies to Christian divinity students for more than thirty years read more…Read more now.
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Overspending is not generosity. It's foolishness at best and sinfulness at worst. When it comes to finances, faithfulness starts with discipline. (Karl Vaters)
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