Wednesday,November 18, 2015
"Living with Open Hands" by Marty Cauley
Marty Cauley
My wife, Danelle, and I have always tried to live our lives with open hearts, open hands, and an open home. We have fed hundreds of people gathered around our dinner table. We have invited struggling college students and families with children to live with us until they could get back on their feet. We sponsor Compassion International children, give gifts to orphans in Africa rather than exchange Christmas gifts, and try to model a life of faithful stewardship for our children. We are people who love to give. There is something I’ve noticed about people who like to give; we are not very good at receiving.
Last year, while on summer vacation, I received a gut-wrenching, life-altering diagnosis of cancer, a rare but terminal form. The trip had not been a vacation, but emergency medical leave with a side order of trauma. I returned spiritually, emotionally, and physically exhausted and tried to return to productivity. It was not working. Danelle jokingly said I should use my many networks and social media contacts and see if anyone would let me use a place at the beach for a week to recover from the hospitalization, tests, and shock before everyone had to return to school. So I did, hoping for a couple of days at somebody’s timeshare. What I got was a blessing well beyond my expectation.
That very afternoon, I received a message from an acquaintance, literally a friend of a friend, who had a friend at a real estate company on the Outer Banks of North Carolina. This was not somebody who knew my family or me. This was a friend two or three times removed. This amazing woman had taken it upon herself to contact homeowners who had vacant homes. And one gave permission for us to use a three-bedroom home just seventy yards from the ocean that normally rents for more than $2,500 per week. There was no way we could afford such a place.
Why would anybody do this for us? I was blown away. I had not been to the beach for a full week since I was seventeen. Now I was going to be able to spend time on the edge of the land looking out the front door into the rolling waves and early morning sunrises over the crystal coast of North Carolina.
Receiving is rather humbling, actually. This gift was so overwhelming it brought tears to our eyes. It was truly an act of grace, an act of undeserved, unmerited, and extravagant generosity. The amazing thing is, this was just the first of the gifts we have been offered. There are some days I can hardly believe the blessings people are heaping upon us.
I could not understand why people were being so generous. We had not done anything to deserve these gifts. Yet a friend explained, “What would you do if it was somebody you knew? You would do everything in your power to give them whatever you could. People see that in you and want to give back to you for all the things you have given to others throughout your ministry.” I just sat there, stunned, because I had never given a thought to what we have given away. We had always just tried to listen to God’s direction.
When I die, I will not be taking anything with me. Nothing I own is ever really mine forever; it is only mine for a short time. It is going to pass through my hands. Sometimes God gives me the chance to let it go now so I can bless others. That is awesome. I get to do, in some small way, what God did. I get to show love by being a giver and not a grasper. I know people who are graspers. They hold onto everything as tightly as they can, unwilling to let anything go. They do it with stuff. They do it with relationships. They do it with their time. The ironic thing is that they cannot receive the blessings God has for them with full hands.
One of the practices I teach congregations is a prayer position with both hands up, open, and empty. One hand reminds us that there is nothing we have that God did not give us. The other reminds us that we are ready to receive whatever God has for us. Together, they are open, to remind us to keep our hearts, hands, and homes open to do whatever God calls us to do. Pray that way some time. You will find your prayer takes on a whole new feeling. Rather than going to God with a list, go to God and ask what is it you have that you need to let go of, and what is it that God has that you need to receive.
I am learning to receive. The Scripture reminds us that God has given “far beyond all that we could ask or imagine” (Ephesians 3:20, CEB). What I am learning is that when you receive what somebody else wants to give, you allow God to bless them in a completely new way. I would never want to be the reason that somebody else was not blessed. So I am learning to receive. Plus, what is the use in asking for a miracle if you are not willing to accept it when it comes?
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[Marty Cauley is a United Methodist pastor in the North Carolina Conference currently serving as director of content and coaching. This article is adapted from his recently published book Dying to Go on Vacation: A Journey of Discovering Life While Facing Death, available on Amazon and used by permission.] Read more…
"Cultivate Generosity through Thankful Living" by Sharron Blezard
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My wife, Danelle, and I have always tried to live our lives with open hearts, open hands, and an open home. We have fed hundreds of people gathered around our dinner table. We have invited struggling college students and families with children to live with us until they could get back on their feet. We sponsor Compassion International children, give gifts to orphans in Africa rather than exchange Christmas gifts, and try to model a life of faithful stewardship for our children. We are people who love to give. There is something I’ve noticed about people who like to give; we are not very good at receiving.
Last year, while on summer vacation, I received a gut-wrenching, life-altering diagnosis of cancer, a rare but terminal form. The trip had not been a vacation, but emergency medical leave with a side order of trauma. I returned spiritually, emotionally, and physically exhausted and tried to return to productivity. It was not working. Danelle jokingly said I should use my many networks and social media contacts and see if anyone would let me use a place at the beach for a week to recover from the hospitalization, tests, and shock before everyone had to return to school. So I did, hoping for a couple of days at somebody’s timeshare. What I got was a blessing well beyond my expectation.
That very afternoon, I received a message from an acquaintance, literally a friend of a friend, who had a friend at a real estate company on the Outer Banks of North Carolina. This was not somebody who knew my family or me. This was a friend two or three times removed. This amazing woman had taken it upon herself to contact homeowners who had vacant homes. And one gave permission for us to use a three-bedroom home just seventy yards from the ocean that normally rents for more than $2,500 per week. There was no way we could afford such a place.
Why would anybody do this for us? I was blown away. I had not been to the beach for a full week since I was seventeen. Now I was going to be able to spend time on the edge of the land looking out the front door into the rolling waves and early morning sunrises over the crystal coast of North Carolina.
Receiving is rather humbling, actually. This gift was so overwhelming it brought tears to our eyes. It was truly an act of grace, an act of undeserved, unmerited, and extravagant generosity. The amazing thing is, this was just the first of the gifts we have been offered. There are some days I can hardly believe the blessings people are heaping upon us.
I could not understand why people were being so generous. We had not done anything to deserve these gifts. Yet a friend explained, “What would you do if it was somebody you knew? You would do everything in your power to give them whatever you could. People see that in you and want to give back to you for all the things you have given to others throughout your ministry.” I just sat there, stunned, because I had never given a thought to what we have given away. We had always just tried to listen to God’s direction.
When I die, I will not be taking anything with me. Nothing I own is ever really mine forever; it is only mine for a short time. It is going to pass through my hands. Sometimes God gives me the chance to let it go now so I can bless others. That is awesome. I get to do, in some small way, what God did. I get to show love by being a giver and not a grasper. I know people who are graspers. They hold onto everything as tightly as they can, unwilling to let anything go. They do it with stuff. They do it with relationships. They do it with their time. The ironic thing is that they cannot receive the blessings God has for them with full hands.
One of the practices I teach congregations is a prayer position with both hands up, open, and empty. One hand reminds us that there is nothing we have that God did not give us. The other reminds us that we are ready to receive whatever God has for us. Together, they are open, to remind us to keep our hearts, hands, and homes open to do whatever God calls us to do. Pray that way some time. You will find your prayer takes on a whole new feeling. Rather than going to God with a list, go to God and ask what is it you have that you need to let go of, and what is it that God has that you need to receive.
I am learning to receive. The Scripture reminds us that God has given “far beyond all that we could ask or imagine” (Ephesians 3:20, CEB). What I am learning is that when you receive what somebody else wants to give, you allow God to bless them in a completely new way. I would never want to be the reason that somebody else was not blessed. So I am learning to receive. Plus, what is the use in asking for a miracle if you are not willing to accept it when it comes?
---------------------
[Marty Cauley is a United Methodist pastor in the North Carolina Conference currently serving as director of content and coaching. This article is adapted from his recently published book Dying to Go on Vacation: A Journey of Discovering Life While Facing Death, available on Amazon and used by permission.] Read more…
"Cultivate Generosity through Thankful Living" by Sharron Blezard
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We regularly sing about living lives of thankfulness. Gratitude is on our lips in some way during virtually every worship service, and then we are sent into the world to love God and neighbor, to care for the poor, and to seek justice. And then what? Well, basically life happens, and the loudest voices vie for our time, resources, and attention.
Can the church compete with the clamorous claims of contemporary culture? Are we equipping disciples to live each moment with an awareness of God’s abundance and to respond generously? How are we transmitting Jesus’ great love command and our call to live out these words to the best of our ability by grace and through the gift of the Holy Spirit? In what ways are we encouraging families with children to foster gratitude and thankfulness that will counter the individualistic messages of consumer culture?
We can no longer depend on the days of Sunday school faith inculcation. Never again dare we assume that folks are absorbing basic tenets of discipleship as part of the prevailing cultural norm. We are in new territory that demands creativity and boldness in tandem with persistence and mindfulness.
As people of faith who gather as the body of Christ, we have abundant resources to help us live and model a grateful, generous life of discipleship, including the greatest story ever told. At our best, we offer communities where people can experience belonging, spiritual growth, opportunities to make a real difference in the name of Christ: in short, a real reason for being and drawing breath. It’s time we stopped hiding our light under the proverbial bushel basket, being painfully modest about our faith, and making excuses about why we have increasing trouble making a case for support of the church’s mission.
Scientific proof now exists that human beings are hard-wired to be generous. It’s part of our very core of being. Researchers in psychology, neuroscience, and sociology are finding compelling evidence that children — infants even — are predisposed towards altruism and kindness. Our Creator God has lovingly equipped us to be faithful stewards, to care for one another and for creation, but this happens in real life, not in some once-a-year, slightly desperate and uncomfortable effort that’s tied ball-and-chain to a budget. People want to make a difference, and we are willing to be generous when given the right opportunities and reasons for doing so.
What if we focused on a simple “thanksliving” practice either individually, as a congregation, or both? Imagine how worship might be shaped if everyone came holding one thing for which they are thankful and shared that one thing. Imagine how your own ministry might be shaped by writing one handwritten thank you note every day for a certain period of time. Contemplate the possible results of a 40-day initiative to sow seeds of gratitude at home and in the beloved community. Dream big. Be bold. Tell everyone what God has done. Chances are you’ll be pleasantly surprised.
Want to dramatically improve stewardship in your congregation? Then by all means don’t start with the annual fall stewardship campaign! Open pocketbooks and generosity happen through changed lives and hearts conditioned for discipleship.
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[Sharron R. Blezard is a pastoral staff member of the Lower Susquehanna Synod, ELCA. This article originally appeared in the June 10, 2014, issue of the newsletter of the Center for Stewardship Leaders at Luther Seminary.] Read more…
Connect
Quotable Leadership
Effective leaders make full use of their natural strengths and strong suits, but we must never assume that what we are best at is what people need.[Christopher A. Beeley]
Pursue Your Doctor of Ministry in the Nation’s Capital
Wesley Theological Seminary and the Lewis Center for Church Leadership together offer a Doctor of Ministry in Church Leadership Excellence. With this track, clergy will receive the enhanced knowledge, skills, and motivation to increase congregational and denominational service, vitality, and growth. The next cohort begins in May 2016 in Washington, DC. Learn more and apply today.
The Right Question
Leaders do not need answers. Leaders must have the right questions.
When Lars Sørensen was recently named the #1 business CEO by the Harvard Business Review, he was asked what other companies might learn from his innovation strategies. The head of a Danish company founded in the 1920s that provides half the insulin used in the world today suggested three questions that need to be asked:
What are our strengths?
Editors: Lovett H. Weems, Jr., and Ann A. Michel. Production: Carol Follett
Lewis Center for Church Leadership of Wesley Theological Seminary.
4500 Massachusetts Avenue NW
Can the church compete with the clamorous claims of contemporary culture? Are we equipping disciples to live each moment with an awareness of God’s abundance and to respond generously? How are we transmitting Jesus’ great love command and our call to live out these words to the best of our ability by grace and through the gift of the Holy Spirit? In what ways are we encouraging families with children to foster gratitude and thankfulness that will counter the individualistic messages of consumer culture?
We can no longer depend on the days of Sunday school faith inculcation. Never again dare we assume that folks are absorbing basic tenets of discipleship as part of the prevailing cultural norm. We are in new territory that demands creativity and boldness in tandem with persistence and mindfulness.
As people of faith who gather as the body of Christ, we have abundant resources to help us live and model a grateful, generous life of discipleship, including the greatest story ever told. At our best, we offer communities where people can experience belonging, spiritual growth, opportunities to make a real difference in the name of Christ: in short, a real reason for being and drawing breath. It’s time we stopped hiding our light under the proverbial bushel basket, being painfully modest about our faith, and making excuses about why we have increasing trouble making a case for support of the church’s mission.
Scientific proof now exists that human beings are hard-wired to be generous. It’s part of our very core of being. Researchers in psychology, neuroscience, and sociology are finding compelling evidence that children — infants even — are predisposed towards altruism and kindness. Our Creator God has lovingly equipped us to be faithful stewards, to care for one another and for creation, but this happens in real life, not in some once-a-year, slightly desperate and uncomfortable effort that’s tied ball-and-chain to a budget. People want to make a difference, and we are willing to be generous when given the right opportunities and reasons for doing so.
What if we focused on a simple “thanksliving” practice either individually, as a congregation, or both? Imagine how worship might be shaped if everyone came holding one thing for which they are thankful and shared that one thing. Imagine how your own ministry might be shaped by writing one handwritten thank you note every day for a certain period of time. Contemplate the possible results of a 40-day initiative to sow seeds of gratitude at home and in the beloved community. Dream big. Be bold. Tell everyone what God has done. Chances are you’ll be pleasantly surprised.
Want to dramatically improve stewardship in your congregation? Then by all means don’t start with the annual fall stewardship campaign! Open pocketbooks and generosity happen through changed lives and hearts conditioned for discipleship.
---------------------
[Sharron R. Blezard is a pastoral staff member of the Lower Susquehanna Synod, ELCA. This article originally appeared in the June 10, 2014, issue of the newsletter of the Center for Stewardship Leaders at Luther Seminary.] Read more…
Connect
Quotable Leadership
Effective leaders make full use of their natural strengths and strong suits, but we must never assume that what we are best at is what people need.[Christopher A. Beeley]
Pursue Your Doctor of Ministry in the Nation’s Capital
Wesley Theological Seminary and the Lewis Center for Church Leadership together offer a Doctor of Ministry in Church Leadership Excellence. With this track, clergy will receive the enhanced knowledge, skills, and motivation to increase congregational and denominational service, vitality, and growth. The next cohort begins in May 2016 in Washington, DC. Learn more and apply today.
The Right Question
Leaders do not need answers. Leaders must have the right questions.
When Lars Sørensen was recently named the #1 business CEO by the Harvard Business Review, he was asked what other companies might learn from his innovation strategies. The head of a Danish company founded in the 1920s that provides half the insulin used in the world today suggested three questions that need to be asked:
What are our strengths?
- What are our capabilities?
- What risks do we dare take?
Editors: Lovett H. Weems, Jr., and Ann A. Michel. Production: Carol Follett
Lewis Center for Church Leadership of Wesley Theological Seminary.
4500 Massachusetts Avenue NW
Washington, D.C. 20016 United States
lewiscenter@wesleyseminary.edu
Lewis Center for Church Leadership
Lewis Center for Church Leadership
Wesley Theological Seminary
4500 Massachusetts Avenue NW
Washington, D.C. 20016 United States
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