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Wednesday, July 29, 2015
Learn from the Stupid Things You Do by Laurie Haller
It was a stupid thing to do. Returning to my hotel room at the end of the first day of a conference, I could not find the keys to my Honda. My husband, Gary, and I drove separately to the event. We looked everywhere, dumping out the contents of both suitcases and computer bags and checking the pockets of our clothes, all to no avail. We scoured every square inch of the parking lot and yard, peered under cars and checked at the front desk to see if anyone turned in the keys. No luck. Stupid, especially since I didn’t have a spare set of keys with me, and there was no Honda dealership within many miles. I was reminded that I live in Detroit country now!That same day I read an article from the Lewis Center for Church Leadership that recalled an address R. Kevin LaGree gave to the graduates of Candler School of Theology of Emory University some years ago. [See Commencement Season Lessons for All Leaders,Leading Ideas, May 6, 2015.] One of the bits of wisdom LaGree offered was, “Don’t do anything stupid.”
How can I have made it through so many years of ministry and still do stupid things? My gaffes and mistakes are legendary, at least in my own mind. A month into my first appointment, I preached what was evidently a controversial sermon about peace-making to a rural congregation. The district superintendent was called, and I learned a lesson about trust and pastoral sensitivity.
In another church, we initiated a building program to remodel the sanctuary and construct a new fellowship hall and accessible restrooms. Despite our hard work, the Building Committee was a bit too far ahead of the congregation. They voted against the project, and I felt foolish. Fortunately, we kept the lines of communication open, the proposal passed handily the next year, and we easily raised all of the necessary funds.
Don’t do anything stupid. It really is good advice, but stupid things don’t always have to be bad. In fact, failure is one of the best learning laboratories around. Failure not only keeps us humble, but when we are willing to learn from the stupid things we do, we gain confidence, acquire courage, and are not afraid to risk again. So I say to new leaders, go ahead and do stupid things, for risk at times invites stupidity, and if we don’t risk, we don’t grow. We don’t grow personally and professionally, and we don’t grow the Kingdom of God. Be bold in your mistakes, but minimize the pitfalls by following these tips.
- Be proactive rather than reactive. People will forgive almost anything if you admit your mistakes, apologize, and ask for forgiveness rather than react defensively or blame others.
- Think before you speak or act. Rash decisions, impulsive actions, or losing your temper can come back to haunt you.
- Practice what you preach.
- Remember, the church is not about you. Get yourself out of the way and focus on the love of God, the grace of Jesus Christ, and the power of the Holy Spirit to transform lives.
- Take the high road no matter what. When you listen carefully and are unfailingly gracious to those who hurt or criticize you, you model the love of Christ.
- Rely on a few trusted friends to be a reality check and gently hold you accountable.
- Pay attention to your spirit, and take care of yourself. Undue stress can lead to irritability and poor decision-making.
.]Five Characteristics of Effective Ministry Teams by Ann A. Michel
If your congregation relies on leadership teams to make ministry happen, the vitality of your church depends on these groups working well. Strong ministry teams generally display the following characteristics.- Shared vision. A good team understands what it needs to accomplish and how its work connects to the overall vision of the church. Ministry teams only give it their all when they feel something real is at stake. Strong teams coalesce around significant challenges.
- Distinct roles. Teams function most effectively when each and every member has a unique and vital role to play. On a baseball team, for example, the pitcher and the catcher do different jobs, but neither can do their job without the other. Motivation, buy-in, and accountability are enhanced when each team member knows the group’s success depends on their efforts. When you launch a team, think carefully about what different roles are essential. In a group that’s worked together for some time, pause occasionally to ask what needs to be done and who should be doing it.
- Constructive engagement. Teams achieve good outcomes when they get all the relevant issues on the table and fully evaluate their options before making decisions. So team members must feel free to express their opinions honestly and even risk disagreeing with one another. This type of open and honest engagement only occurs in an atmosphere of trust and mutual respect. Strong teams are deliberate in building this type of decision-making climate.
- Size. Effective teams tend to remain lean. The group must be small enough for each person’s participation to really matter. In larger groups, the style of communication often shifts from inquiry to advocacy, making it more likely that a few voices will dominate the conversation and less likely that all participants will engage openly.
- Leadership. In strong ministry teams, every member provides leadership. But someone needs to take responsibility for making sure the team itself functions well. Good teams have a “captain” who maintains the focus on the vision, attends to the climate of the team, facilitates the group’s processes, and keeps communication flowing.
Connect
Quotable Leadership:
"Fruitfulness is God’s alternative to success."[Tom Berlin and Lovett Weems]
Are You a Clergy Mentor?
Clergy mentors indicate overwhelmingly that they need more training for their task. Mentees value mentoring but also indicate that their mentors need more resourcing for this important responsibility. Our Taking Clergy Mentoring to the Next LevelResource, available in Group Training and Individual Study versions, is designed for clergy mentors who wish to prepare on their own for a ministry of mentoring. Learn more.The Right Question
Leaders do not need answers. Leaders must have the right questions.
Chip Heath and Dan Heath offer the Vanishing Options Test as a way to help leaders and groups expand their options for action. The heart of the exercise comes from this question:
- If you cannot choose any of the current options we are considering, what else could we do?
Editors: Lovett H. Weems, Jr., and Ann A. Michel. Production: Carol Follett
Lewis Center for Church Leadership of Wesley Theological Seminary.
4500 Massachusetts Avenue NW
Washington, DC 20016 United States
lewiscenter@wesleyseminary.edu
lewiscenter@wesleyseminary.edu |
Lewis Center for Church Leadership
lewiscenter@wesleyseminary.edu |
Lewis Center for Church Leadership
Wesley Theological Seminary
4500 Massachusetts Avenue NW
Washington, DC 20016 United States
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