Editor's Note:
Dear Friend,
"Matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a match . . .”
Judaism has many moments that may seem contradictory at first glance. Every year, in a span of less than a week, we are enjoined to be very sad and then very joyful.
On Sunday, we mourned the destruction of the Holy Temple by observing the fast of the 9th of Av. Then, on Friday, we will celebrate what the Talmud describes as one of the happiest days of the year, the 15th of Av.
There are several reasons for the celebration (you can read them here). One that has fascinated me is that on that day “the daughters of Jerusalem would go dance in the vineyards,” and it became a day of matchmaking.
The sadness we feel due to the destruction of the Holy Temple should not hinder us from living life, moving forward, growing in our connection to G‑d and helping others.
With the 15th of Av in mind, take a few moments to think about the people in your life who are still searching for their bashert, their intended. Perhaps you can do something to bring them together. Invite them to a Shabbat dinner at your house and let the matchmaking begin.
Chani Benjaminson,
on behalf of the Chabad.org Editorial Team
P.S.: Was there someone special who helped you find your life-partner? Please tell us.
Not Is
How could it be?
How could a human ego know it is nothing but a figment of a greater mind—and yet remain a human being?
How could a physical eye see infinite light—and yet remain an eye?
How could a stone scream out that there is nothing else but G‑d—and yet remain a stone?
It must be that the true reality of all things is not to be, but to know.
There is nothing else but knowing that there is nothing else but G‑d.[Hemshech 5672, part 2, p. 1003; Maamar Asher Bara 5739]
This Week's Features:
Printable Magazine
If You Haven’t Heard of This Holiday, You’re Not Alone by Chana Weisberg
VIDEO
You Must Rebuild the Temple
The Jerusalem Talmud states: “If the Holy Temple is not rebuilt in your lifetime, it’s as though it were destroyed in your lifetime.” The commentaries learn from this that the Temple’s destruction is an ongoing event.
Watch (5:51)
http://www.chabad.org/3002775
http://www.chabad.org/therebbe/livingtorah/player_cdo/aid/3002775/jewish/Rebuilding-the-Temple.htm
More in Video:
• The Crown of a Good Name (Aaron L. Raskin)
<script language="javascript" type="text/javascript" src="http://embed.chabad.org/multimedia/mediaplayer/embedded/embed.js.asp?aid=2979908&width=auto&height=auto"></script><span style="clear:both;" class="lb" id="lbdiv">Visit <a href="http://www.chabad.org/multimedia/default_cdo/aid/591213/jewish/Video.htm">Jewish.TV</a> for more <a href="http://www.chabad.org/multimedia/default_cdo/aid/591213/jewish/Video.htm">Jewish videos</a>.</span>
If You Haven’t Heard of This Holiday, You’re Not Alone by Chana Weisberg
Dear reader,
Most of us have been to the synagogue on Yom Kippur. We’ve munched matzah at the Passover Seder. We’ve watched Uncle Marvin kindle the Chanukah menorah while noshing on Aunt Sally’s oily latkes. We may have dressed as clowns with our kids on the joyous day of Purim; and we mourned on the 9th of Av, when our Temples were demolished.
These are all remarkable days on our calendar, days that commemorate significant events. But how many of us draw a blank by the 15th day of Av? Yet the Talmud teaches, “There were no greater festivals for Israel than the 15th of Av and Yom Kippur.”
Seriously? Comparing this unknown day to the holiest day on our nation’s calendar? What is so special about the 15th of Av?
The Talmud writes: “The daughters of Jerusalem would go out in borrowed linen garments (so as not to embarrass those without beautiful clothes of their own) . . . and dance in the vineyards,” and “whoever did not have a wife would go there” to find himself a bride. (Talmud, Taanit 31a)
There are lots of deep explanations about this day. (Here’s one.)
My take is very basic, but it is at the core of what I love so much about Judaism.
Judaism tells us to strive for the heavens while keeping our feet grounded to the earth.
The message of the 15th of Av is so down-to-earth: Experience the mystery of marriage. Taste the wonder of love. See the beauty of two very diverse people uniting in body, heart and soul to create harmony in our world. Observe the selflessness of two individuals coming together despite personal barriers to bring new life to our world. And as you do, realize that you are witnessing holiness.
Judaism teaches us that the 15th of Av is no less holy than the hallowed day of Yom Kippur, when we fast and forgo all our bodily needs in our quest to reach spiritual heights. Why? Because this was the day that marriages were forged.
And marriage is a holy institution.
There’s one more important point. The girls would wear borrowed clothing so no one would be embarrassed. No high-fashion couture clothing surrounded in luxurious posh mansions; no petty competitiveness to outshine one another. The girls danced joyously in the vineyards in simple, borrowed, linen garments.
The matchmaking festivity underscored: look beyond the outer shell and find a deeper soul connection.
In our society, when the sanctity of marriage is being eroded, when our values have become shallow and our ideals battered, this day has a valuable message.
Let’s make the 15th of Av a day of increased love, focused less on superficial externals and more on what really matters.
Chana Weisberg,
Editor, TJW
P.S.: Have we become more shallow? What values do you think we should be focusing on?
Story
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© Copyright 2015, all rights reserved.
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15 Av: Celebrating Marriage
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Dear reader,
Most of us have been to the synagogue on Yom Kippur. We’ve munched matzah at the Passover Seder. We’ve watched Uncle Marvin kindle the Chanukah menorah while noshing on Aunt Sally’s oily latkes. We may have dressed as clowns with our kids on the joyous day of Purim; and we mourned on the 9th of Av, when our Temples were demolished. These are all remarkable days on our calendar, days that commemorate significant events. But how many of us draw a blank by the 15th day of Av? Yet the Talmud teaches, “There were no greater festivals for Israel than the 15th of Av and Yom Kippur.” Seriously? Comparing this unknown day to the holiest day on our nation’s calendar? What is so special about the 15th of Av? The Talmud writes: “The daughters of Jerusalem would go out in borrowed linen garments (so as not to embarrass those without beautiful clothes of their own) . . . and dance in the vineyards,” and “whoever did not have a wife would go there” to find himself a bride. (Talmud, Taanit 31a) There are lots of deep explanations about this day. (Here’s one.) My take is very basic, but it is at the core of what I love so much about Judaism. Judaism tells us to strive for the heavens while keeping our feet grounded to the earth. The message of the 15th of Av is so down-to-earth: Experience the mystery of marriage. Taste the wonder of love. See the beauty of two very diverse people uniting in body, heart and soul to create harmony in our world. Observe the selflessness of two individuals coming together despite personal barriers to bring new life to our world. And as you do, realize that you are witnessing holiness. Judaism teaches us that the 15th of Av is no less holy than the hallowed day of Yom Kippur, when we fast and forgo all our bodily needs in our quest to reach spiritual heights. Why? Because this was the day that marriages were forged. And marriage is a holy institution. There’s one more important point. The girls would wear borrowed clothing so no one would be embarrassed. No high-fashion couture clothing surrounded in luxurious posh mansions; no petty competitiveness to outshine one another. The girls danced joyously in the vineyards in simple, borrowed, linen garments. The matchmaking festivity underscored: look beyond the outer shell and find a deeper soul connection. In our society, when the sanctity of marriage is being eroded, when our values have become shallow and our ideals battered, this day has a valuable message. Let’s make the 15th of Av a day of increased love, focused less on superficial externals and more on what really matters. Chana Weisberg, Editor, TJW P.S.: Have we become more shallow? What values do you think we should be focusing on?
Chana Weisberg is the editor of TheJewishWoman.org. She lectures internationally on issues relating to women, relationships, meaning, self-esteem and the Jewish soul. She is the author of five popular books.
© Copyright 2015, all rights reserved.
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15 Av: Celebrating Marriage
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You’ve been invited to a chassidic wedding. Not sure what to expect? Let’s walk through the experience together. (Note that I will be spelling out some Hebrew words using the Ashkenazi pronunciation commonly used among chassidic Jews.)
What to WearFor guys, besides for a suit and tie, make sure that you have a kippah to cover your head. If you think it may fall off, you can fasten it to your hair with bobby pins or clips.For ladies, you want to make sure that your dress is consistent with the traditional Jewish values of tznius, modesty. Make sure your sleeves are long enough to cover your elbows, the dress is long enough to cover your knees, and your neckline covers your collarbone. Lastly, if the wedding is in the winter, make sure to bring a good coat, since some of the ceremony may very well be outdoors. (More on that later.) What to BringThis is the same as any wedding: You can bring gifts or cash, or order something from their registry. It may be more practical to send in the gift with your reply card or drop it off at another time.When to ComeIf you are a close family member, you may be asked to come early for pictures. Otherwise, you can come for the kabbolas ponim (more on that later), just to dinner, or even just to dance. (If you’ve been invited to the dinner but plan on skipping it, please let your hosts know, so they do not set a place for you.)What to ExpectIf you’ve never been to a chassidic wedding before, here are some things that may strike you.a. Men and the women celebrate separately. For almost the entire evening, the women will chat, eat, dance and celebrate with the bride, and the men will do so with the groom. So if you are arriving with a spouse, make sure to have a plan on how to meet up again when it’s time to go. b. Don’t be fooled by the somber suits—celebrating with the bride and groom is a mitzvah that is fulfilled with gusto. So be prepared to sing, dance and have fun! c. Yep, there are a lot of kids. Chassidim recognize that the purpose of marriage is to start a family, and families mean children. Kids are not only allowed to come to weddings, they are an integral part of the joy. Reception (Kabbolas Ponim)Two receptions are held simultaneously, often in two rooms, or in one room separated by a partition.If you are female, make your way to the bride’s side. There you’ll see her perched on an ornate chair, probably surrounded by her family and friends. You can join the group, congratulate her—and just about everyone you meet—with “Mazel tov,” and chat with the other ladies. Over at the guys’ reception, you’ll probably find the groom sitting at the head of a large table. Exactly what happens here really can depend on the community. In Chabad, some last-minute ritual paperwork is taken care of and read aloud, and then the groom recites a maamar, a chassidic discourse. He will typically cast his eyes downward or even close them as he says themaamar(by heart) in a singsong voice. The maamar is traditionally said in Yiddish, but some people will do so in Hebrew or English. Even if you understand the language of delivery, do not be dismayed if you do not fully grasp the subject being given over. It’s esoteric stuff that presupposes a lot of prior knowledge. The discourse is preceded by a slow, moving niggun (melody), and followed by a fast-paced, joyous one. In many communities, there will be some short speeches interspersed with joyous singing. Men’s Side: Breaking of the PlateThen the mothers of the bride and groom will head over to the men’s side (the other women do not go with them). Together, they will hold a plate and smash it, symbolizing the finality of the bond between their two families. It sometimes takes them a few tries. When the plate finally breaks, people will respond with “Mazel tov!”Women’s Side: Covering the Bride (Badekenish)Then the groom and his entourage will walk over to the ladies’ side. In Chabad this is a somber moment, and the march is accompanied by a deeply pensive melody. In other communities this is a joyous time, and friends of the groom will sing, dance and clap their way over.Facing his bride—whom he has not seen in at least a week—he will take a veil and place it over her face, showing that he cares more for her inner beauty than her pretty face. This is one of those moments where the hankies come out. Under the Heavens: ChuppahThe actual wedding ceremony is held with just a canopy, called a chuppah, between the couple and the open sky. Often, the entire wedding party will move outdoors. Sometimes halls have special skylights, allowing the bride and groom to be “outdoors” and everyone else to stay inside, dry and warm (or cool in the summer). Just follow the crowd, and you’ll know where to go.There are normally chairs set up, so feel free to grab a spot. Chances are that men and women will be sitting separately. Here are the basic elements of this ceremony (emceed often in Yiddish, but occasionally in English):
The Wedding FeastBack in the wedding hall, the guests will find their way to tables (again in their respective areas). As with other Jewish festive meals, the meal begins with bread. Before eating bread, there is a specific way to wash your hands and a blessing to say. You can get detailed instructions on this hand-washing here.If you’re not sure what to do, I’m sure someone will be happy to show you the ropes (and the sinks). Now, remember that the bride and groom haven’t seen each other all week? That means that they have not had time to take pictures together, so they and their close family will be out snapping pictures while everyone else is settling down and tucking in. DancingWhen you hear the music picking up and see people begin making their way to the dance floor, you’ll know what to expect next. Accompanied by a lively dance tune, the bride and groom will rush into their respective sides of the room, as everyone dances about them with lively abandon.It is common for the groom and some of his male relatives to be hoisted onto the shoulders of some of the dancers, or lifted on a chair or table, while everyone dances around in concentric circles. A similar scene takes place on the ladies’ side (sans the shoulder-hoisting). Often there will be liquor served (perhaps more on the men’s side). You do not need to drink, and no one is expected to drink excessively. If you wish to drink, make sure to toast l’chaim and mazel tov to your hosts. Sheva BerachosAfter dessert has been served, it’s time to bentch, a Yiddish term that refers to the Grace After Meals. Typically there will be bentchers, with the text of the bentching, scattered on the tables (you can take one or two home with you). Sometimes they will have English translations. The person leading the bentching will be holding a cup of wine.The bentching will take around five minutes. Afterward, the sheva berachos (seven blessings) will be said. Like under the chuppah, six people will be called up, each one to say another blessing while clasping a second cup of wine. At the conclusion the two cups will be mixed, and the bride and groom will drink. This pretty much concludes the wedding, with dancing continuing as long as the dancers still have steam. But There May Be MoreIf you plan on attending a Chabad or a non-chassidic wedding, you can stop reading now. However, in some chassidic communities, there is an interesting custom known as a mitzvah tantz, whereby various family members or other respected individuals are called up to dance “with” the bride: they dance grasping the end of a cord that the bride is holding at the other end. The groom (and possibly the father of the bride) is the only one who dances with the bride herself.At this point the partition is often moved away, and men and women both watch the proceedings. While the various honorees are dancing, the other guys often dance around the periphery. Note: This is considered an intimate event, and only close family and very dear friends are expected to stay.
Rabbi Menachem Posner serves as staff editor for Chabad.org.
© Copyright 2015, all rights reserved.
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15 Av: Celebrating Marriage
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Shayna Denburg, born and raised in Montreal, Canada, has been painting since her teens. As a young adult, she spent some time in Israel, where, inspired to give back to the land, she painted several city electricity boxes in Jerusalem and Safed. Shayna now lives and studies in New York. In her spare time, Shayna chills by listening to music, taking pictures or doing yoga.
© Copyright 2015, all rights reserved.
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Your Questions
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My dog recently died. He was my loyal companion for many years, even more loyal than some of my friends. I was wondering: what happens to animals after they die? Do they go to heaven?
The Short AnswerIf you’re asking whether there is some sort of “dog heaven” in which there are cute puppies running around a special section of paradise, then, although I hate to be the one to disappoint you, the answer is no. However, if you mean “heaven” in the broader celestial sense, then yes.The Slightly Longer Answer: The Philosophical DebateThe question of whether animals go to heaven has been debated throughout the centuries.The Midrash states unequivocally that animals don’t have a portion in the world to come.1 But that has not stopped some of the greatest Jewish philosophers from debating whether the concept of reward and punishment, and by extension the afterlife, applies to animals. For example, Rabbi Saadiah Gaon, in his famous philosophical work Sefer Emunot ve-De’ot (The Book of Beliefs and Opinions), writes that an animal is ultimately compensated for all the pain it went through in life and death.2 This idea is in line with the statement in the Talmud that “the Holy One, blessed be He, does not deprive any creature of any reward due to it”3 (although an animal’s reward is different than what a person would receive for doing a good deed out of free will). The fact that Rabbi Saadiah Gaon held that this applies even to an animal going through a painful death suggests that the animal will continue to exist even after death. On the other hand, Maimonides is of the opinion that the concept of reward and punishment applies to man alone.4 The Kabbalistic ResponseThe question of whether animals are rewarded and have immortal souls is important, as it not only gives man perspective and meaning in his interactions with the rest of G‑d’s creations, but explains, in part, man’s purpose in this world.In a long and fascinating letter, the fourth Lubavitcher rebbe, Rabbi Shmuel, known as the Rebbe Maharash, explains that although some Kabbalists were of the opinion that animals don’t have immortal souls,5 according to the teachings of the Arizal animals do in fact have independent souls, and they do go to heaven.6 The Arizal is generally considered the final arbiter for all Kabbalistic teachings. The Arizal explains that every created entity possesses a “soul.” This includes everything from rocks and other inanimate objects to animals and, of course, people. This soul or “spark of G‑dliness” not only sustains the creation’s existence, but it imbues the creation with its purpose and significance in the world. Different SoulsBut if every creation has a spark of G‑d, in what way does the soul of a person and that of an animal differ?G‑d created the world, including the souls of animals, through speech. It is only regarding a person’s soul that the verse states, “He breathed into his nostrils the soul of life, and man became a living soul.”7 The Kabbalists explain that when one speaks, he uses a relatively superficial level of breath. But when one blows, he blows from deep within him. So too, man’s soul comes from the very essence of the divine. Interactive SoulsWhen G‑d created the world, He invested in man the power to elevate the divine sparks or souls that are found throughout creation. It is for this reason that in general, the way an animal’s soul is elevated and returned after its death to its divine source is through its positive and spiritual interactions with man.So, for instance, we can elevate the soul of a kosher animal by making a proper blessing when eating, and by using the energy gained for acts of goodness and righteousness. (However, unlike a person’s afterlife, in which the souls “bask and delight in G‑d’s glory”8 in the Garden of Eden, the animal soul returns to its source (the supernal world of Tohu) in an elevated state.9) In the end, while they are different from humans, animals too have souls that live on and can be elevated. This idea presents us with an enormous responsibility in our interactions with the animal kingdom. After all, the animal’s elevation in the afterlife can be dependent upon our positive interactions with it.
Rabbi Yehuda Shurpin responds to questions for Chabad.org's Ask the Rabbi service.
© Copyright 2015, all rights reserved.
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Your Questions
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I always wondered why tefillin need to be black. Why not just natural leather, or at least something light and cheerful?
The Historical BackgroundWhen G‑d gave the Jewish nation the Torah on Mount Sinai, it was given together with the Oral Torah. The Oral Torah comprises traditions and extrapolations hinted to in the recorded version, the Bible, as well as other elements that are not found in the Written Torah.The traditions of the Oral Torah were passed down from Moses to Joshua, and from there down to the leaders and sages of each generation. Anyone who reads the Bible can see that there are certain verses that are unintelligible on their own—for example, the commandment to circumcise oneself, or to put tefillin on the hand and head, or to take the Four Species on the Jewish holiday of Sukkot. There is no way of knowing from the text what exactly we are supposed to cut when we perform a circumcision, nor is there any way to know what tefillin is or what the Four Species are. The specifications for these mitzvahs are in a category of the Oral Torah known as halachah le-Moshe mi-Sinai—“an oral tradition going back to Moses, who received it on Mount Sinai.” This means that many details of the tefillin, including the black color of the straps and the box shape, are traditions that could not have been deduced from logic, or even from expounding the verses of the Torah.1 Now, even though (according to most) this applies only to the straps, the boxes should be painted black as well, matching the straps.2 Is There Really No Explanation?Maimonides writes that although all of the statutes of the Torah are supra-rational decrees, it is appropriate to contemplate them, and whenever it is possible to provide an explanation for these decrees, one should do so.3 With this in mind, here are some explanations found in the teachings of the Kabbalah.Why Are Tefillin Painted?We wear two tefillin boxes. One box is placed upon the head, the seat of our intellect, and the other is placed upon the left arm, resting against the heart, the seat of our emotions and desires. Thus, tefillin signify the submission of one’s mind, heart and actions to the Almighty, as well as the rule of intellect over emotion.The third Lubavitcher rebbe, Rabbi Menachem Mendel, known as the Tzemach Tzedek, explains that from a Kabbalistic perspective the tefillin actually represent how the divine attributes—such as kindness and severity—flow down into this world. Inside the boxes of tefillin are white, colorless parchments that contain the portions of Shema. This represents the divine light at its source, before it even exists as “attributes”—pure white, without color. It is only once the divine light begins to flow down into this world, through a process of concealment and contraction known as tzimtzum, that there appear to be divine attributes. Therefore, we have colored tefillin with straps that flow from the head past the heart, symbolizing how these divine attributes are only how the divine light appears after many concealments. But in its essence, it is plain white.4 But Why Black?Although we may have explained, from a Kabbalistic perspective, why the tefillin are colored, the question remains: why color it black?One of the main things we do when we put on tefillin is say the Shema, in which we proclaim G‑d’s oneness and how He is the essence of everything.5 Not only that, but the tefillin themselves contain the portion of Shema. In light of this, the Kabbalist explain that the reason the tefillin are colored black is because unlike all the other colors, “black is not receptive to any other color,”6 for when you have a black surface (as opposed to a white surface), other colors don’t show on it, and black does not mix with any other color.7 This unique property of the color black symbolizes G‑d’s absolute unity, oneness that does not lend itself to any additional attributes or parts. For more on the mitzvah of tefillin, visit our tefillin mini-site.
Rabbi Yehuda Shurpin responds to questions for Chabad.org's Ask the Rabbi service.
© Copyright 2015, all rights reserved.
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You Must Rebuild the Temple
The Jerusalem Talmud states: “If the Holy Temple is not rebuilt in your lifetime, it’s as though it were destroyed in your lifetime.” The commentaries learn from this that the Temple’s destruction is an ongoing event.
Watch (5:51)
http://www.chabad.org/3002775
http://www.chabad.org/therebbe/livingtorah/player_cdo/aid/3002775/jewish/Rebuilding-the-Temple.htm
More in Video:
• The Crown of a Good Name (Aaron L. Raskin)
<script language="javascript" type="text/javascript" src="http://embed.chabad.org/multimedia/mediaplayer/embedded/embed.js.asp?aid=2979908&width=auto&height=auto"></script><span style="clear:both;" class="lb" id="lbdiv">Visit <a href="http://www.chabad.org/multimedia/default_cdo/aid/591213/jewish/Video.htm">Jewish.TV</a> for more <a href="http://www.chabad.org/multimedia/default_cdo/aid/591213/jewish/Video.htm">Jewish videos</a>.</span>
• Melody of Reb Pesach Malastovker (Yair Kalev)
<script language="javascript" type="text/javascript" src="http://embed.chabad.org/multimedia/mediaplayer/embedded/embed.js.asp?aid=2617213&width=auto&height=auto"></script><span style="clear:both;" class="lb" id="lbdiv">Visit <a href="http://www.chabad.org/multimedia/default_cdo/aid/591213/jewish/Video.htm">Jewish.TV</a> for more <a href="http://www.chabad.org/multimedia/default_cdo/aid/591213/jewish/Video.htm">Jewish videos</a>.</span>
Chabad.org Magazine - Editor: Yanki Tauber
<script language="javascript" type="text/javascript" src="http://embed.chabad.org/multimedia/mediaplayer/embedded/embed.js.asp?aid=2617213&width=auto&height=auto"></script><span style="clear:both;" class="lb" id="lbdiv">Visit <a href="http://www.chabad.org/multimedia/default_cdo/aid/591213/jewish/Video.htm">Jewish.TV</a> for more <a href="http://www.chabad.org/multimedia/default_cdo/aid/591213/jewish/Video.htm">Jewish videos</a>.</span>
Parshah
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One of the sacred tasks of parents and teachers is to educate the next generation and to impart to our children the knowledge and values of our Torah. We cannot be content with our own study – we have to teach the young.
This mitzvah is featured in this week's Torah portion in the words of the Shema which we recite thrice daily: “…teach them to your children, to discuss them, while you sit in your home, while you walk on the way, when you retire and when you arise…” What is intriguing is that the great codifier Maimonides, as well as R. Schneur Zalman's of Liadi in his Code of Jewish Law, present the laws relating to teaching Torah to our children before presenting the laws of studying Torah. It seems quite obvious that one cannot teach before studying. Why would the laws pertaining to teaching a child precede the adult’s requirement to learn? The power and advantage of a developed, adult, mature mind is magnified by life’s experiences. The theoretical insights that are gleaned are enhanced and embellished by the wealth amassed through the challenges and circumstances of one’s past. But there is a deficiency and handicap in an adult’s approach to absorbing the words of Torah. So often, objectivity, humility and serenity of spirit are casualties of preconceived ideas. Our entrenched frames of reference capture data into existing files predetermined and predefined. Our life’s experiences have formed calluses on our attitudes and philosophies. We cling to familiar paths formed by habitual past journeys. We evaluate with prejudices and perspectives already firmly formed. We begin to judge by our decisions rather than decide by our judgments. How often are we left unmoved by a truth because we are self-consciously aware of the ramifications of accepting such truths? We fit teachings into lifestyles rather than confront the challenge of change. We quote and emphasize to subjectively endorse and support, rather then to aspire and strive for uncharted new heights. So often, objectivity, humility and serenity of spirit are casualties of preconceived ideasThe laws of studying Torah are preceded by the laws of teaching a child, to remind us how to absorb the words of G-d. The learning of a young child – so eager, so fresh, so open, so inspired and so unencumbered by baggage – is like “ink written on fresh paper,” – teaching us the art of true Torah study. May our spiritual and intellectual journeys always retain the effervescence, passion and innocence of a child. May we, this Shabbat, find comfort, optimism and belief in a world about to be redeemed, by allowing ourselves to peer through the eyes and hope of a child.
Rabbi Dovid Hazdan is Dean of the Torah Academy school in Johannesburg, South Africa and rabbi of the Great Park Synagogue
© Copyright 2015, all rights reserved.
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Women
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Hope, an Essential IngredientWhen my daughter was born, I experienced total bliss, a mixture of blessedness, joy and contentment. Birthing a girl was the answer to my prayers, since I was able to give her the names of my mother and mother-in-law, both recently deceased. We named her Zlata Esther—Zlata after my mother, and Esther after my mother-in-law—and we called her Zlatie.Her first year of life was filled with happiness, as I watched her attain all the milestones. Though Zlatie was slightly delayed with crawling and walking, my competent pediatrician was not at all concerned. “She is a perfectly healthy baby. All her needs are met immediately, so there is little need for her to explore her surroundings. Enjoy your happy child. She is any parent’s dream,” he reassured me. He was right. Zlatie was undemanding; she rarely cried, and never asked to be picked up. She would follow me with her eyes, but was content to remain in her crib or playpen. By the time Zlatie reached eighteen months, however, I was becoming alarmed by her complacency. I expressed my concern to the doctor during each monthly visit, and he finally reluctantly agreed to refer her for a neurological exam. The neurological exam at Columbia Presbyterian Hospital proved inconclusive, but a prominent psychiatrist gave a diagnosis: autism. In 1964 this condition was virtually unknown, still in its infancy. I was overwhelmed, and unsure of how I would cope. An audience, yechidus, with the Rebbe was what I needed. I was accompanied by Zlatie, who looked adorable with her long curly brown hair framing her small face. She was dressed in her blue and white embroidered pinafore, with a big brown bow in the back, and her shiny black patent leather shoes. Zlatie held my hand as we walked into the Rebbe’s room. The Rebbe observed us closely and motioned us to sit. He watched Zlatie intently as she gingerly climbed into the chair. Then he removed a paper and pencil from his desk drawer and placed the items before Zlatie. She immediately took the pencil, held it properly within her small hand and began to scribble on the paper. The Rebbe’s face was aglow. “This is wonderful,” he said in Yiddish. “Her reactions are perfectly normal. I don’t understand why you feel so dejected.” His words were so comforting. At the completion of the audience, the Rebbe reached once again into his desk drawer and took out a shiny silver dollar. Zlatie immediately stretched out her little hand and took the dollar. The Rebbe smiled happily, and recommended an evaluation with a well-known doctor. The Rebbe instilled me with hope, an essential ingredient for the parent of a child with special needs. He inspired me to help Zlatie develop to her fullest potential. He gave me strength and courage to persevere. She reached many milestones—not always at the recommended times, but that was not important. She ate independently and used cutlery appropriately by age three. By age four and a half she was able to dress herself, adeptly fastening zippers, buttons and belts, and tying shoelaces. “Double knot,” she would proudly exclaim about her mastering the skill. The Rebbe advised me to proceed as if Zlatie were an ordinary child. This would be a major component of her success. I understood from what the Rebbe was saying that action was the key, an optimistic attitude was essential, and endless worry would be detrimental. Finding BalanceShortly thereafter we visited a certain psychiatrist, renowned for his highly acclaimed book on exceptional children. He stared at me condescendingly. With great authority he stated, “This child will never be able to live an independent life. Do yourself a favor and find a residence for her. Forget she was ever born.”His callous pronouncement horrified me. My daughter, my innocent child, had never asked to be born. G‑d had given her to me, and she was my responsibility. Steely-eyed, I glared at him, pulled Zlatie off the chair and stomped out. Only later did I allow the tears to flow. Brokenhearted, devastated, I came to the Rebbe once again. After sleepless nights of tossing and turning, I entered his study. There was so much I wanted to say, so many questions to ask. The Rebbe looked at me with great kindness and compassion. His eyes were filled with deep understanding. I was unable to control my tears; they flowed freely as deep sobs broke the silence. I clenched my fists, silently berating myself for wasting precious time with my emotional outburst. Finally, with great difficulty, I regained control and the audience began. I poured out my heart to the Rebbe, updating him fully on Zlatie’s condition. The Rebbe listened intently, nodding his head, immersed in my words. Then the Rebbe asked, “Tell me about your other children. How are they doing in school? Do they have friends?” This was the Rebbe. He reminded me, in his unassuming way, that G‑d had blessed me with four other children, and that I needed to be a mother to all of them. With an uplifted heart I left his room, armed with a new realization of the importance of viewing the whole picture, of finding balance. Excerpted from Dignified Differences: A Special Soul
Chana Sharfstein, an expert on Scandinavian Jewish history, is a noted author, educator and tour guide. Raised and educated in Stockholm, Sweden, Chana is a retired member of the New York City school system, and a docent at the Museum of Jewish Heritage and the Center of Jewish History.
Dignified Differences: A Special Soul describes the struggles and triumphs of families with children with special needs. The beautifully designed volume is a treasure of encouragement, inspiration and enlightenment for all those who have ever come in contact with individuals with special needs. The book includes the teachings and words of inspiration of the Lubavitcher Rebbe, Rabbi Menachem Mendel Schneerson, of righteous memory.
© Copyright 2015, all rights reserved.
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Women
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We've all seen our friends sporting Fitbits on their arms. The Fitbit is a wireless activity tracker that can measure data such as the number of steps taken, quality of sleep, and heart rate. It is worn like a watch, and it seriously doesn't miss a beat. Every step is counted. Throughout the day, my family and I are in constant competition with each other to see who can reach the goal of 10,000 steps per day. However, although being in intense competition with my loved ones is exciting, this tiny watch has actually taught me something valuable about the way we approach our lives on a daily basis. As I start my day and fasten my Fitbit, I officially become aware of my goal for the day . . . 10,000 steps! I find myself taking the stairs rather than the elevator, I park in the farthest parking spot from the entrance to the store, and I don’t think twice about running back into the house because I forgot something.
Last Tuesday, during my son’s baseball game, he asked me to go back to the car to get his sweatshirt. At first I refused and told him to get it himself. Then I remembered my Fitbit. I wanted to go to the car! I happily went to get the sweatshirt with a skip in my step. A few days later, during a class at my house, the discussion of mitzvahs came up. A lady in the class mentioned that Jews do mitzvahs every day, but they are probably not aware of most of them. So, do they count? We all agreed that they do indeed count. That was when I realized something. Before I got the Fitbit, I was still walking. Did I walk as much? No. Was I aware of each step? No. Did I enjoy taking each step? Um, probably not. However, once I started to think about it, I realized that our mitzvah observance is very much like my relationship with the Fitbit. Before, I still took the steps, and yes, the steps still counted. Yet, once I became aware of the meaning of my steps, the importance of each step, and how each and every step was being recorded, I wanted to take those steps! Being aware of how each move I made affected me in a positive way was fun! So, too, there are a number of ways we can approach our observance of mitzvahs. The first approach is one of unawareness. We do the mitzvahs, but we don’t know it. This still counts, but it’s not so exciting. With the second approach, we know we’re doing the mitzvahs, but we’re not really paying attention. The ideal approach is when we are aware of each mitzvah, and we can choose to do each one with enthusiasm and excitement, because we know how much it counts! So, yes, it took a tiny gadget to open my eyes to something so integral to our purpose in this world—recognizing that every move we make is recorded and not wasted. If we live with this awareness, we’ll truly treasure each opportunity to do a mitzvah. So let’s get moving!
Chana Bitton has been freelance writing for fifteen years. She currently lives in Chicago, Illinois with her husband and 5 children (BH).
© Copyright 2015, all rights reserved.
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Women
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My eyes were thick with sleep, my hands limply reaching out for Baby, when a sudden overwhelming urge for chocolate made my eyes snap open.
Chocolate? Blearily, I squinted at the clock. Three forty-five. I shook my head, blinked and laughed. I settled Baby Hershy in for his post-midnight snack, exhaled and promptly started dozing off. Chocolate! I steadied myself and looked around, bewildered. Hershy sucked noisily, eyes closed. What was this? It had been seven months since I last craved chocolate! What was this business all about? Chocolate, chocolate, chocolate, go get some chocolate! I giggled under my breath. This was ludicrous. Still, I wanted chocolate so badly I could feel it in my bones. Okay, okay, I told myself, pacifying the unnamed chocolate monster simmering inside me. As soon as Hershy's done here, we'll go get some chocolate. It struck me that Husband had finished the last of the chocolate coconut squares after dinner. Chocolate Monster cried. Unhappily, I shifted Hershy and swallowed. My throat was dry.Okay, we'll go get a drink and do some rummaging in the kitchen. I'm sure I can find something. Mollified, Monster sat back and reduced his irate nagging to a whimper. I looked down at my delicious baby and ate him up with my eyes until I was drooping again. By the time Hershy had deemed his snack to be enough and I snuggled him into his crib, my bed was calling louder than the kitchen. Drink! Chocolate, something sweet . . . Monster begged. Sshh, let me sleep . . . Before breathlessly hitting my pillow, I resolved to ask my husband to bring home one of those Torino chocolates for me after morning prayers. I'm sure I dreamt of fat, creamy Torinos wrapped in crackly red and silver, but I dreamt a little too long. When I woke up to Hershy's wailing, Husband was back from synagogue and I had to rush if I wanted to make it to my ride to work on time. I hastily dashed through my morning routine, shoved Baby and myself into respective coats, waved goodbye to Husband, and hurried out, groaning all the time. So much for that chocolate, I thought, grumpy, as I zipped down the streets toward my ride. My workplace is located a good half hour away from my home, and I had no place to buy a kosher chocolate bar. Visions of a quiet morning, reading a magazine while I nibbled on a creamy Torino stick and sipped frothy Irish coffee, wafted dreamily in and out of my mind while I braved the frosty avenues. It was rather comical, to be honest, but I couldn't shake that little dusting of sadness that settled over me like a second skin. I had experienced such a rude awakening, literally, when all I had craved was a little coziness. Throughout the morning, the tip of my chocolate bar-that-wasn't kept waving in my mind's eye, making me wither. Still feeling down, I resolved to make myself a cup of coffee. With a royal sigh of frustration, I pushed back my chair, declared that I was on a coffee break, and headed to the little coffee station in the adjoining office. It's about time we get a decent coffee maker, I thought, again, as I reached for a hot cup and measured out the coffee grounds as if they were darling pearls. A little more, a little less . . . I deftly shook my spoon, added another grain, intent on the perfect coffee. Not that it would help much—what I really needed was chocolate. "Good morning, Faigy," Mrs. Strauss called and I whirled around to see the door to her office ajar. "Good morning," I smiled and waved, before turning to resume my coffee prep. "Faigy," Mrs. Strauss called again, and she beckoned for me to come. I smiled. Mrs. Strauss is a sweet, grandmotherly woman and I padded over happily. I nearly choked when she held out a chocolate bar. Granted, it was not the dairy, foil-wrapped goody I had been dreaming of, but still! "Take some," she said, breaking off a few squares and handing them to me. "I bought this whole huge bar and I don't need so much. It's delicious." I laughed, for I thought I might cry. I accepted her offer and returned to finish my coffee, while my heart swelled with an exquisite sense of love. It was a kiss from G-d, wasn't it? I was working there for over two years, and this was the first time Mrs. Strauss had offered any food. But here I was, on this strange and random chocolate-crazy day, and G-d looked down and sent me a little package of joy, wrapped in layers and layers of love. I may be feeling like a harried, overtired, can-barely-catch-my-breath mom. But I'm also a Jewish woman, and G-d's eyes are on me at all times. Even when I'm cranky and pining for a goody. I stared into my coffee and watched the frothy liquid swirl, toasty brown and white, while my eyes stung. Something sweet, like the combined tastes of so many Torinos and Rosemaries and Schmerlings and so much more, flooded my heart. It's real. G-d is real, He's here, and He wanted to give me a taste of His sweetness, of His concern. I sat down to savor each delicious square of creamy heaven, but they tasted overwhelmingly of love. I can't complain, though. It's by far the most precious chocolate I've ever had.
Faigy Schonfeld is a wife and mother residing in Boro Park, Brooklyn. She spends her days rocking cradles, offering mashed bananas and singing lullabies—and running off to write some articles so she can also call herself a freelance writer.
© Copyright 2015, all rights reserved.
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Jewish News
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An inspirational poem written by a 16-year-old Lubavitch girl, Chanie Gorkin from the Crown Heights neighborhood of Brooklyn, N.Y., went viral this week, sharing a Chassidic message of hope with more people than Gorkin could have imagined. Unbeknownst to the young author, the poem—titled “Worst Day Ever?”—was printed and posted on a board in a North London bar when someone took a picture and tweeted it.
The poem went viral, attracting attention from media outlets on both sides of the Atlantic, including Mashable, The Huffington Post, ABC, NBC and The Telegraph. “The coverage has been overwhelming,” says Gorkin’s mother, Dena, noting that her daughter was not one looking for such attention. “But she is happy to have inspired so many people.” For Gorkin, an 11th-grader at Beth Rivkah High School in Brooklyn, the story began in November when a teacher assigned her to write an essay to the theme of “Worst Day Ever.” “Chanie came back from school and said she wanted to instead write something inspired by Chassidic philosophy, which teaches about harnessing the power of moach shalit al halev[intellect’s ability to govern one’s emotions] and finding the good hidden in every moment.” Chanie had been writing creatively for a few years, so she flipped the assignment on its head, literally, writing a poem that could be read forward, but its true message revealed only when read backward: Worst Day Ever? Today was the absolute worst day ever And don’t try to convince me that There’s something good in every day Because, when you take a closer look, This world is a pretty evil place. Even if Some goodness does shine through once in a while Satisfaction and happiness don’t last. And it’s not true that It’s all in the mind and heart Because True happiness can be attained Only if one’s surroundings are good It’s not true that good exists I’m sure you can agree that The reality Creates My attitude It’s all beyond my control And you’ll never in a million years hear me say Today was a very good day Now read it from bottom to top, the other way, And see what I really feel about my day. ‘Guaranteed to Make You Think’A few days later, Dena Gorkin, herself a principal at the Bnos Chomesh Girls High School in Crown Heights, shared her daughter’s poem with a student who was having a bad day.“My student read it and was blown away,” she relates. Not long afterwards, the poem was entered into a poetry competition on PoetryNation.com, making it into the semi-finals before ultimately being passed over. The poem was also published in N’shei Chabad Newsletter, a Chabad magazine for women, and its life was prolonged by being popularly shared on Facebook and making the rounds on the WhatsApp messaging service. The story seemed to be petering out until one tweet from the other side of the world set social media ablaze and traditional media scrambling. “The poem, which was helpfully posted on ‘some wall’ in London (because as we all know, Londoners are almost always in need of a bit of perking up), has two alternate meanings depending on whether you read it from top to bottom or bottom to top, and is guaranteed to make you think,” wrote The Metro, a London newspaper. Since being reported on, an image of the poem has been posted on many sites and read by millions of people. “I think Chanie’s poem has become popular because there’s a lot of darkness in this world, and something uplifting like this really resonates,” says her mother. “Words from the heart enter the heart. I think Chanie’s sincerity was felt through her words.” Chanie herself was not the one to post her work on Facebook; as she puts it, she’d rather hang out with her friends in real life. “The message in the poem isn’t mine,” says Chanie, who has since turned 17 and is entering 12th grade. “The Lubavitcher Rebbe [Rabbi Menachem M. Schneerson, of righteous memory] taught that when you change your perspective, other things change as well. That’s what inspired this poem.” Although she didn’t seek international attention, the sociable and studious Gorkin—who got an “A” for the poem in school—is happy if it has a positive effect on someone, somewhere. “I’m really happy that my poem has inspired people. If someone was having a terrible day and this helped them turn it around, then it has all been worth it.”
© Copyright 2015, all rights reserved.
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Jewish News
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Singer and actor Theodore Bikel, who passed away this week at 91, was best known for more than 2,000 stage portrayals as Tevye in “Fiddler on the Roof.” In 1981, he visited with the Lubavitcher Rebbe—Rabbi Menachem M. Schneerson, of righteous memory—at a farbrengen in honor of the Rebbe’s birthday, conveying his best wishes. Acknowledging Bikel’s status as a Kohen, the Rebbe had a special request for the priestly blessing, and Bikel enthusiastically obliged.
© Copyright 2015, all rights reserved.
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Jewish News
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Rachael Eisenson is eager to go back to school. The graduate school-student from Smithtown, N.Y., is just one class shy of getting her master’s degree in web and multimedia design.
But right now, Rachael’s dream is just that, as she is in an intensive-care unit battling end-stage renal failure. Her family is searching for a kidney donor to save her life. “She’s doing OK now, but it’s very tough for a 27-year-old sitting in a hospital all the time,” says her mother, Deborah Eisenson. “Socially, it’s very difficult, and mentally, it’s very hard.” Adds her mother: “The most we can do is get the word out, and hopefully, someone will come through and be the donor who works.” Lending a hand to raise awareness of Rachael’s situation and to encourage potential organ donors is Rabbi Boruch Sholom Wolf, co-director with his wife, Mushkie, of Chabad at the Medical Centers in New Hyde Park, N.Y. The Chabad-Lubavitch emissaries serve the 1,000 Jewish doctors and staff, as well as the thousands of Jewish patients who pass through each year. In his efforts to raise awareness of the importance of kidney donation in general and Rachael’s immediate need specifically, Rabbi Wolf held a June 22 event in New York City that featured kidney donor Rabbi Avrohom Richler, co-director of Chabad of Gloucester County in Mullica Hill, N.J., and former New York councilman Lew Filder, who recently received a kidney. ‘It Takes Education’Rachael, he says, “is our most critical case.” No one in her family is a match. The National Kidney Foundation estimates that some 100,000 people nationwide are currently waiting for a kidney donation and that each day 12 people die waiting for a kidney donation. Finding a donor, however, is not easy. Among other criteria, a potential donor must be in a great health and have a blood type that matches the patient’s. First, however, a person must express interest—something many don’t consider because of misconceptions about what being a donor will mean for their future. “A lot of people are worried that it will shorten their life if they donate a kidney, or that they will be out of commission for months,” says Wolf. “Neither is true.” “If you don’t know anything about kidney donation, it is the scariest thing in the world,” states Wolf. “Who would want to part with an organ? But once you hear from someone who has done it and someone whose life is changed by having a new kidney, it becomes less of an abstract idea and more real.” Being a living donor is something Wolf knows firsthand; he was 25 when he gave a kidney to a man who was then a stranger. “I never thought I would be a donor—even a blood donor—because I’m afraid of needles,” explains the rabbi. “But I was tested for a bone-marrow donation by Gift of Life Bone Marrow Foundation. It didn’t require needles, so I figured I’d try, even though there was only a 1 in 1,000 chance I’d be a match. Then I got the frightening call that I was a match. “I felt kind of bad that I lost the opportunity to help,” he says, noting that when he heard about another Chabad-Lubavitch emissary who had donated a kidney—Rabbi Ephraim Simon, co-director of Friends of Lubavitch of Bergen County in Teaneck, N.J.—“it got me thinking.” When presented with an opportunity to donate his own kidney, Wolf agreed. He says he remains in contact with the man whose life he saved; they talk a few times a year. (Donors can remain anonymous if they wish.) As for Rachael Eisenson, her family is hopeful that a match will soon be found, and that by raising awareness of her plight, it will help encourage people to step forward and be tested for thousands of people waiting for help. “If people are made aware of the need,” says Deborah Eisenson, “it’s a good thing for everybody.” Those with blood type O interested in being tested as a possible donor for Rachael Eisenson should call Rabbi Wolf at 516-360-0299.
© Copyright 2015, all rights reserved.
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Lifestyle
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This is definitely the fanciest dessert I’ve ever made, and let me tell you, it is something incredible!
You’re looking at roasted peaches with vanilla ice cream, a chewy almond crumb and balsamic reduction syrup—all gourmet, seasonal and flavorful. The flavors are fresh and intense and all the elements complement each other wonderfully. Never had balsamic in a dessert before? It may sound strange, but it tastes rich and silky and punchy and balances the sweetness from the ice cream and the crumb perfectly. It may seem like a lot of work, but each element is relatively simple, so don’t let that scare you. You can also make some of the elements in advance, so you’re not doing it all at the same time. To make the almond crumb, you’ll pulse all the ingredients together in a food processor and press down in a few pieces on a baking sheet, like this: If you press it all in one big piece, it won’t bake evenly, so several pieces is the way to go. Don’t worry about how it looks, because you’re just going to crumble it again in the food processor later: For the roasted peaches, you have two options. You can roast them plain, or with some honey and fresh herbs. It’s up to you. I recommend only using the honey and herbs if you have excellent, good quality honey (not your average grocery store variety) and fresh rosemary or thyme. NOTE: I’d run out of fresh thyme when I took the picture, so I sprinkled on some dried flakes just to convey the idea. But I don’t recommend it taste-wise. The other two elements are simple. The balsamic syrup is simply balsamic vinegar cooked down to half its volume. It’s important to use good quality balsamic vinegar. When you reduce it, the flavors intensify, so you definitely don’t want to start with a poor or mediocre product. For the vanilla ice cream, you can make your own or use store bought. I used store bought here, because I am still trying to perfect my vanilla ice cream recipe. It is not yet shareable. Just make sure to buy the good stuff—not the artificial. It makes a big difference. When everything’s ready, all that’s left to do is assemble. A glass makes this dessert look elegant and refined but you could probably make it look good on a plate or in a shallow bowl, too. It’s not a particularly kid-friendly dessert, but your adult family, friends and guests are sure to be highly impressed. Enjoy! Ingredients and Directions for the Almond Crumb
Ingredients and Directions for the Roasted Peaches
Remove the fresh herbs and set the peaches aside until you’re ready to assemble the dessert. You can use them warm, at room temperature or even cold. Store in the refrigerator for later use. NOTE: You can skip the honey and herbs entirely. If you do use them, you’ll want to make sure you use only good quality honey and fresh herbs. Ingredients and Directions for the Balsamic Syrup
NOTE: use the best quality balsamic vinegar you can find. The flavor intensifies as it cooks down, so you don’t want to start with a bad one. For the Ice CreamYou will need good quality vanilla ice cream, either store bought or homemade. An artificial tasting ice cream will ruin this otherwise gourmet dessert.To Assemble
What is the most elegant dessert you’ve ever made? Have you ever used balsamic vinegar in a dessert? Leave a comment and let us know.
Miriam Szokovski is the author of the historical novel Exiled Down Under, and a member of the Chabad.org editorial team. She enjoys tinkering with recipes, and teaches cooking classes to young children. Miriam shares her love of cooking, baking and food photography on Chabad.org’s food blog, Cook It Kosher, and in the N’shei Chabad Newsletter.
© Copyright 2015, all rights reserved.
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Lifestyle
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I entreated the L‑rd at that time, saying, "O L‑rd G‑d, You have begun to show Your servant Your greatness and Your strong hand, for who is [like] G‑d in heaven or on earth who can do as Your deeds and Your might? Pray let me cross over and see the good land that is on the other side of the Jordan…" (Deuteronomy 3:23-25)
On the verge of crossing the Jordan River, Moses, in his farewell address, tells the people of Israel how he implored G‑d to allow him to enter the land of Israel. "Let me cross over,” Moses pleaded “and let me see the good land.” The Hebrew word "etchanan" means to beseech and the Midrash says that Moses prayed 515 times, the numeric value of the word “va’etchanan. In the painting, Moses’ very being seems to be projected to a higher level as his profuse supplications reverberate with energy in the brushstrokes that ascend upwards. The impetus for his request is the feeling of being swept up by the victories over Sichon and Og and his hope that he will also participate in a great victory march into the Land. Moses cannot imagine himself not entering the land with the people. The colors in the painting reflect the uplifting spirit of the time, the earth tones infused with a soft golden light. Moses' lifetime wish was not granted but his prayer was partially answered. "Go up to the top of the hill," G‑d said to Moses, “and see it with your eyes". In the painting this is portrayed by the smaller figure standing on a higher plateau, engulfed by a vision of the good land. After praying fervently 515 prayers to be able to go into the land of Israel, in his last words Moses says that "The deeds of the [Mighty] Rock are perfect, for all His ways are just; a faithful G‑d, without injustice He is righteous and upright".
Yoram Raanan takes inspiration from living in Israel, where he can fully explore and express his Jewish consciousness. The light, the air, the spirit of the people and the land energize and inspire him. His paintings include modern Jewish expressionism with a wide range of subjects ranging from abstract to landscape, biblical and Judaic.
© Copyright 2015, all rights reserved.
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