Wednesday, September 13, 2017
5 Keys to Cultivating an Environment Irresistible to Emerging Generations by Scott ChrostekPhoto credit: Resurrection Downtown
Scott Crostek, pastor of Resurrection Downtown in Kansas City, says environments that are safe and welcoming for emerging generations are characterized not only by hospitality and authenticity, but also creativity, openness to holy mystery, and a sense of personal privacy.
Irresistible leadership environments are spaces with an atmosphere that facilitates effective emotional, relational, spiritual, and theological connections with God and with one another. Leadership environments that are irresistible to emerging generations tend to possess five primary facets.
1. HospitalityEmerging generations seek out environments where they are noticed, welcomed, and made to feel at home. This looks like having multiple encounters where people can say, “Hello!”, offer their “Good Mornings!”, and remind others multiple times throughout the hour, “We’re so glad you’re here.” Being made to feel welcome and included is imperative because when you are made to feel at home, you will be more likely to be open and available to have an experience of God.
Many Millennials want to be welcomed and made to feel at home and, then, to be able to hide, to be anonymous and free to go at their own pace, or to sink into the rhythm and practices of the church.
2. AnonymityIn their haste to be welcoming, churches and their leaders sometimes compromise their ability to be hospitable. Hoping to secure participation and involvement from younger people, they end up singling out an entire segment of the population. Young adults leave feeling as though the church doesn’t want them there in the hope that they could meet God; they feel, instead, that the church actually wants them there to help grow the church. This is self-serving, alienating, and isolating, rather than hospitable. It forces young people into a place where they feel as though they are standing out in a crowd, even more than they already are.
Many Millennials want to be welcomed and made to feel at home and, then, to be able to hide, to be anonymous and free to go at their own pace, or to sink into the rhythm and practices of the church. A key to facilitating anonymity is preserving a sense of personal privacy within the worshipping congregation.
3. AuthenticityIf we long to invite people to come as they are, then we must be willing to do the same. We must be willing to come to worship just as we are. This is authenticity. This is what draws emerging generations closer to God because it allows them to feel safe being open in the same way. So, make mistakes, don’t script transitions, and live into every invitation you extend to the congregation. If you invite people to pray silently, then you better do the same thing. If you challenge people in sermons with action steps, then you better take them, too. If you invite people to experience God’s presence in communion, then you must also treat communion as a worship experience in your own life, not just as something to provide or make possible as a leader. And in the moments you fail, share your experience of falling short.
Authenticity requires an ongoing admission of shortcomings and an unwavering openness to learning and growing from every person and situation you encounter. Humble leaders and authentic leaders are not dominating, polished, or perfected personalities. They are catalysts for authentic environments.
4. MysteryWhile acknowledging the importance of authentic leadership in creating an irresistible environment for emerging generations, we must also acknowledge our need for something much greater than ourselves. We must create space in our churches for the God of the universe, the Holy Mystery we cannot fully comprehend, understand, or even imagine. Within the church, we describe sacraments as the primary pathways for us to experience the power of God’s promises. We can experience the life-saving power of God through baptism and Holy Communion.
5. CreativityResurrection Downtown’s vision is to transform the heart of the city authentically, passionately, and, perhaps most importantly, creatively. We wanted to be known for doing the same things that Christ did; we wanted to become co-creators. As this vision took shape and we began to grow, more and more artists and musicians began gravitating toward our emerging community and we tried to find ways to invite and incorporate their creativity.
We took the exterior wall of our church building and transformed it into a blank canvas for the community. We invited the most creative people in KC (and within our congregation) to display what Resurrection Downtown looked like to them. We also opened up our sanctuary walls in the hope that they might become gallery walls or what we imagined as modern day stained glass, inspired by local artists. Our worship services have become a place where people from the community introduce some of the most amazing fabric, oil, print, and photography. Over the past several years, we have found ourselves in a worship space that is clearly open to the everyday creativity, dreams, and wonder about how God is calling us to become the best versions of the people we were created to be.
This material is adapted from Scott Crostek’s book The Kaleidoscope Effect: What Emerging Generations Seek in Leaders (Abingdon Press, 2017). Used by permission. The book is available at Cokesbury and Amazon.
Related Resources
- Lessons from Churches that Reach Young Adults by Lovett H. Weems, Jr.
- Think Bigger: The Challenge of Reaching Millennials by David McAllister-Wilson
- Millennials Seek Larger Framework to Understand God by Chris Folmsbee
6 Tips for Effective Preaching on Stewardship by Margaret J. MarcusonPreaching is a critical component within a broader strategy for stewardship ministry, says church consultant Margaret Marcuson. She provides six tips for more effective preaching on money and stewardship.
It takes more than one good sermon to undergird the stewardship ministry of your congregation. Church leaders can put a lot of weight on that sermon or sermon series, but stewardship preaching and teaching must take place in the context of the overall vision and direction of the congregation, as well as within any particular program you may implement. That said, preaching remains a critical part of any stewardship endeavor. In almost all churches, worship remains the time when you have the greatest number of members and friends. The sermon, even in more liturgical churches, is a central part of worship. Attending to the important task of preaching on the topic of giving is worth the effort.
There is a tension in all preaching, and especially preaching about stewardship, when you are acknowledging that you want more for people in their relationship with money and with giving, while also letting go of the intense desire to change other people. Paradoxically, the more you try to use preaching to change people, the less they are likely to be changed. The more you say, in essence, “You should give more,” or, “You should be less materialistic,” the more they resist. The more frustrated you are, the less effective your preaching will be.
Instead, work to offer your preaching in a spirit of openness, aware of where people are in the way they relate to money and to stewardship. The most powerful preaching about giving comes from a place of self-definition: “Here’s what I believe about giving.” “This is how I understand the Scriptures and God’s call on our lives.” “Here is what I want for our church.” “Here is what I want for myself in my relationship with money.” You can say, “Here is what I’d like.” Don’t hesitate to ask people to give, but do it from an emotional space of openness.
Here are six suggestions for more effective preaching about stewardship and money.
- Define your own views in your stewardship sermons. See them as opportunities for the congregation to hear what you think, rather than as occasions to convince them to do something.
- Acknowledge to the congregation your own challenges in this area. Stand alongside them, rather than over them, pointing a finger.
- Talk about your own efforts to relate spirituality with money. You don’t have to reveal your deepest secrets about your financial life, but you can share something of yourself as a way to help others grow.
- Preach a sermon at a time that is not stewardship/pledge time in which you articulate your values about money.
- Tell stories in your sermons about the church’s money past, especially its founding. Be honest about past financial challenges, but remember to include stories about the strengths and successes, too.
- When you are preaching at stewardship time, don’t hesitate to ask people openly to support the ministry of the church. There’s no need to be apologetic about giving.
Related Resources
- Tell Your Stewardship Story by Margaret J. Marcuson
- Preaching and Money by Ann A. Michel
- Motivating Generous Giving by Scott Cormode
The Right Question
Leaders do not need answers. Leaders must have the right questions.
Rick Rusaw and Brian Mavis encourage positive questions when first getting to know new people. They suggest:
- What are you good at?
- What skills do you have?
- What energizes you?
Learn about Stewardship and Biblical GenerosityDesigned to nurture the spiritual discipline of giving, Theology of Stewardship and Biblical Generosity may be used in a variety of Christian education settings or in conjunction with an annual stewardship emphasis. This video tool kit is ecumenical and may be used for self study or with groups. Featured topics: Stewardship 101; What the Bible Teaches about Giving; A Christian Understanding of Money, Possessions, and Generosity; Biblical Generosity; and Faith and Generosity.
Learn more and watch an introductory video now.
Reminder: Register to Attend Events Honoring Lovett WeemsDr. Lovett H. Weems, Jr., has devoted his life to serving God and the church. Wesley Theological Seminary and the Lewis Center invite you to join us for Take the Next Step, a celebratory dinner and symposium honoring Dr. Weems's many contributions in leading the church to greater fruitfulness. The events are September 28 and 29 in Washington, DC.
Learn more and register now.
Quotable Leadership
The world is moving in profound ways. We should not think that Christianity is disappearing. It is, however, changing. [Gregory E. Sterling]
Top 10 Things Never to Say to Your Female Pastor by LEAH D. SCHADE
So your church has a pastor – who just happens to be female. Congratulations! Given that many denominations and individual churches still do not allow females to be ordained clergy, the fact that your church has accepted a female pastor is cause for celebration.
image: http://wp.production.patheos.com/blogs/ecopreacher/files/2017/07/female-clergy-clip-art.1.png
image: http://wp.production.patheos.com/blogs/ecopreacher/files/2017/07/female-clergy-clip-art.1.png
Inadvertent sexismBut despite your best efforts to be supportive of your female pastor, it’s likely that some in your church (and maybe even you yourself) have said or done things that have been hurtful, undermined her authority, or subtly cast aspersions on her leadership. After 17 years as an ordained Lutheran (ELCA) minister, and as a seminary professor mentoring female students, I’ve learned that women in ministry face challenges that are different than their male colleagues.
So I began asking: What are some of the sexist things parishioners have said or done to you as a female in ministry? Maybe they were not intending to be sexist. Maybe they actually thought they were complimenting you or “helping” you by giving you “feedback.” But what they said left you feeling uncomfortable, annoyed, or even angry.
Here is what they shared:
- “For such a tiny little woman, you have a lot of energy!”
- On first meeting me: “Are you married? What does your husband think about this?”
- “You are the prettiest pastor I’ve ever met.”
- You are “articulate and attractive” said my ex-senior…as compared, of course, to my male associate who is “brilliant, intelligent.” I’m thinking I should have been a TV anchor instead of a pastor!
- “You should be wearing stockings or pantyhose.” (And I am in robe down to mid-calf.)
- After worship and I had taken off my robe, I was helping a woman get into the chair lift to leave the building. One of the elder men came up to me and said, “From this angle, I can see what you’re all about in your dress.”
- 90% of what was said to me as a pastor involved my attire. “That’s not how a minister should dress,” and that sort of thing. My personal favorite was, “First we hire a woman and then she wears pants!”
- I’ve been told that maybe I should wait until after my kids leave the house to pursue ordination.
- “You’re nicer to look at than the male senior pastor.”
- I can’t even begin to count the number of times I was told “that isn’t how a minister should dress.” When I pushed back, asking, “And how do you think I should dress?” they couldn’t come up with a significant answer. Because in their minds, a minister wears a tie.
- My senior pastor actively fought against my receiving a raise that would put my pay scale in line with our synod guidelines. I had to go over his head to the board to advocate for myself.
- “You can’t be old enough to be a pastor!” (I’m 42).
- “I just can’t ever see you being a senior pastor.”
image: http://wp.production.patheos.com/blogs/ecopreacher/files/2017/07/Leah-D.-Schade-speaking-at-anti-fracking-rally-in-Phila.jpg
Leah D. Schade, speaking at anti-fracking event in Philadelphia, with Rabbi Melissa Klein, 2009.Sigh. For the most part, these are all nice, well-meaning people. But they reveal just how far we have to go until female ministers are treated with the same respect as their male counterparts.
Pastoring while parenting
Female pastors with children also noted how difficult it was to balance their roles as parents and clergy, especially during worship. One woman shared:
“I struggled with how to handle the supervision of my children when they were still little and at the church on Sundays and my husband was not around. People didn’t seem to know it might be good to lend a hand. (When she was seven or so, my older daughter almost choked on a Life Saver one Sunday in worship while I was preaching… finally a woman got up and helped her to the bathroom.) That was where I often found tension within myself… two different roles, both important, and they were in conflict at that moment.”
Another female pastor concurred:
“The thing with helping out with your kids is so infuriating because we all know if it was a male pastor whose wife was out of town or something, everyone in the church would be clamoring to help him and the children. AND it would be accompanied by, ‘Oh, poor Pastor Jimmy having to babysit his kids while his wife is out of town.’”
There are consequences
Speaking personally, parenting while pastoring has left the sorest spots on my ministry. Not only did I receive criticism of my parenting, so did my husband. It got so bad at one point my husband and kids had to take a break from the congregation for a few weeks. We decided they would worship elsewhere since we had been told how distracting our kids were during worship. My feeling was, “You can criticize me all you want, but when you go after my husband and kids, all bets are off.” Only a handful of people actually said hurtful things, but it was so biting.After my husband and children weren’t in church for several weeks and people asked why, I told them the truth – that my family didn’t feel welcome, so they were on a break. The response was overwhelming – apologies, tears, genuine remorse. I learned that sometimes people need to see the consequences of their actions rather than me just accommodating and making excuses for their behavior.
image: http://wp.production.patheos.com/blogs/ecopreacher/files/2017/06/2011-10-11_08-26-12_709.jpg
Photo credit: Leah D. SchadeIF-WAM
As you interact with your female pastor, there are some things you’ll want to keep in mind so that you don’t inadvertently perpetuate sexist stereotypes or treat her differently than her male counterparts. Of course, this is not a complete list. But these are drawn from my own experiences, and my conversations with female clergy colleagues, as well as students where I serve at Lexington Theological Seminary.
As a general rule of thumb, remember IF-WAM. Before you say something or make a comment or find yourself thinking certain things about your pastor, ask yourself:
IF (name) Were A Man, would I say, do, think or this?
In other words, if you’re thinking of saying something about your female pastor’s appearance – stop, and ask yourself – would I say the same thing if this were a male pastor? If you wouldn’t, then don’t say it to your female pastor either.
Top Ten Things Never to Say to Your Female Pastor
[And see the follow-up piece: 7 Ways Your Church Can Support Your Female Pastor]
1. Avoid commenting on – either complimenting or criticizing – your pastor’s appearance. This includes her body, her face, her make-up, her clothes.
Better: Give supportive feedback about the work she has done, a task she has accomplished, or a goal she has achieved.
2. Avoid making comparisons between pastors based on gender differences.
Better: Ask how your church can be supportive of your female pastor’s goals for leadership development and continuing education. And then listen to what she says.
3. Avoid falling into the gender wage gap with your female pastor.Better: Do the research to find out what male pastors in your area are making at the commensurate length of service. Make sure your female pastor’s salary meets standard guidelines.
4. Avoid making assumptions about your pastor’s long-term career goals. They may not want to remain as the Youth Minister or Child and Family Minister or Associate Minister forever.Better: Ask your female pastor how your church can help with questions of discernment and God’s call, so that the Church can best be served by your pastor’s gifts and skills. And then listen to what she says.
5. Avoid commenting on your pastor’s marital status. Don’t ask questions. Don’t be nosy, even if you mean well.Better: Ask how your church can be supportive of your pastor finding time to develop healthy social relationships outside of the congregation. And then listen to what she says.
6. If your pastor has a spouse (male or female): avoid commenting on the state of the marriage.Better: Ask how your church can help create sabbath time for the pastor and her spouse to build and strengthen their relationship. And then listen to what she says.
7. If you pastor has children: avoid commenting on her (or her spouse’s) parenting.Better: Ask her (and her spouse) how the church can be most helpful in supporting them as they juggle the role of parent and pastor/pastor’s spouse. And then listen to what she/they say.
7A. If your pastor does not have children: avoid insensitive comments about her being childless (like “You’ll understand when you have children.” Or “When will we be throwing you a baby shower?”) Better: Since you have no idea if your pastor wants children, is trying and unable, had a miscarriage, etc., it’s not your place to comment. So simply be supportive and encouraging of the family she does have.
8. Avoid setting up your pastor with the “Super Woman” syndrome, expecting her to do everything – pastoring, parenting, marriage, friendship, cooking, math, guitar-playing – at the highest levels of expertise.
Better: Ask your pastor if she feels she is receiving enough support for the areas of her life that are most important. And then listen to what she says.
9. Avoid the fear of offering valid critiques because you’re afraid your female pastor is too fragile, too sensitive, or too emotional.Better: If you have a suggestion, a grievance, or what you think could be helpful feedback, ask to meet with her to share it. Instead of criticizing her as a person, keep your focus on the work, the betterment and growth of the church, and how you or the leadership can help support her in the changes that are needed.
10. Avoid comments and actions that denigrate, demoralize, cut down, or otherwise undermine your female pastor.There’s no “better” here. Just stop saying and doing those things. You’re a Christian, remember?
Worthy of the callShare these tips with your fellow church members, your senior pastor, your church staff members, your family members, the older congregant who “doesn’t know better,” and, yes, your female pastor.
Let’s support our female pastors – they are called by God. Together, we can all live our lives “worthy of the calling we have received,” (Ephesians 4:1).
[For the “sequel” to this list, see: 7 Ways Your Church Can Support Your Female Pastor]
image: http://wp.production.patheos.com/blogs/ecopreacher/files/2017/06/wearing-red.jpg
Leah D. Schade is the Assistant Professor of Preaching and Worship at Lexington Theological Seminary (Kentucky) and author of the book Creation-Crisis Preaching: Ecology, Theology, and the Pulpit (Chalice Press, 2015).You can follow Leah on Twitter at @LeahSchade, and on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/LeahDSchade/.
Clip art graphic created by Leah D. Schade.
For more of Leah’s posts on women and religion, feminism, and gender, check out these links:
7 Ways Your Church Can Support Your Female Pastor
Jesus, Mother Hen: This is the God I Want to Worship
The Case for Recognizing Mother’s Day in Church
Inclusive and Expansive Mother’s Day Prayers
Book Review: Preaching the Women of the Old Testament
Read more at http://www.patheos.com/blogs/ecopreacher/2017/07/top-10-things-never-say-your-female-pastor/#ppTf2l3q4Cm9t7d8.99
Read more.
Apply Today for Doctor of Ministry in Church Leadership at WesleyWesley Theological Seminary and the Lewis Center together offer a Doctor of Ministry in Church Leadership Excellence. With this track, clergy will receive the enhanced knowledge, skills, and motivation to increase congregational and denominational service, vitality, and growth. The next cohort begins in May 2018 in Washington, DC.
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